Gebler Special Forces: Version Two
by Bonnie E
Summary: The story of Elly's Strike Team, the Gebler Special Forces, and their trials from the fall of Etrenank to the day Deus finally fell. This is the new and updated version of my old story "Gebler Special Forces".
1. Solaris, Eden of Heaven

**A/N: FINALLY. This is a long time in coming. Here I present to you the huge re-write, hereby named _Gebler Special Forces: Version Two_. I decided to keep the first version up on the site for sentimental reasons and, you know...because I like the reviews. Future chapters will be added to this version, as events beyond what I've posted reference events that originally did not happen in the old version of the story. Thank you all for your patience through this incredibly long hiatus, and I hope you like the new version as much as you did the old one. **

* * *

**Gebler Special Forces: Chapter 1**  
**Solaris, Eden of Heaven**

_My head is spinning...or is it the room?_

_No...it's not moving, I'm not moving...it's only the 'Drive'._

_My throat is so dry...I'm so thirsty..._

_I could end all this if I wanted to. Just take more, and I'll be good as new...but...I don't want to._

_But...just a few more minutes in this haze and you'll be yourself again with the Drive._

_Yourself? Who do you think you're kidding? Which one is you, Vance? The one with Drive, or the one without it? Which one do people know better?_

_The one with. It was the only way to survive. You know that._

_Yeah, but he's a bastard. Which one do you like better?_

_The one without Drive. The one I was born. The one I was before Solaris took it all away._

_Then the only way to find him is not to take the Drive._

_I know...I know...just stop the room from spinning..._

_Why did I take it? Why? I know how it makes me feel. I know how it changes me. I know who I become when I'm on it. I hate him. I hate what it makes me do, makes me think. So why?_

_Oh, yes. A good night's sleep. That's all I wanted, just a good night's sleep. I was weak. I couldn't say no to myself. Am I addicted? Drive's not supposed to be._

_No, not for someone who has nothing to hide from. But... for someone like me who's using it to hide from memories, maybe so. It certainly feels like it. It's certainly a hard habit to break. And I have no support. I have to do this on my own. Gebler wouldn't like the fact I'm not taking the required dosage, anyway. Who knows what they would do to my friends if they found out. I can't let that happen._

Vance rose slowly, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed, staring at the rug for a long time, trying to calm his head. When he felt he could stand without falling over, he did so.

He washed his face with cold water, trying to get the pounding to subside. It helped a little bit, but not as much as he would have liked. Drinking was a little better. The water slid down his throat, past a big lump that had formed in his gullet which made it uncomfortable to swallow. But the liquid helped revitalize him a little bit. At least his mouth wasn't dry anymore.

"Augh...why did I do this to myself again? Why did I take it? Stupid...just stupid... Man, what time is it? Must be early afternoon already..."

He sat before his desk, and pulled out a small notebook from the top drawer. It was his 'thinking' book. He rarely went anywhere without it tucked away in his pack, in case he came up with a revelation or idea. Hiding it from his superiors had been difficult on many occasions. Many of the earlier entries had told him the true effect Drive had on him - particularly one entry, which he had read over and over again.

_Those kids would have been so easy to kill if only that moron in the black gear hadn't interfered._

Vance shivered at the thought those had been his words. When in his right mind, off the effects of Drive, he would never dream of hurting children willingly. He couldn't help hating himself for it. When he read that, it was added incentive for him to quit using Drive. Whenever he felt like reaching to take more, he tried to get to his desk and read that entry instead.

He read it again, knowing it was already too late to rectify his earlier dose the evening before. But it would help him remember the next time.

"I can do this..." he told himself, dressing in his Gebler uniform. "I have to do this. It's the only way to feel good about myself again. I have to let the nightmares chase me. I have to face them headlong... Huh! Easier said than done."

Even though it was technically his day off, he had been called to a meeting in the gear hangar that afternoon. He supposed his platoon would soon be sent to battle against the Lambs. This would be his second mission without Drive. The first, over the skies of Nortune, had ended in disaster for the Special Forces. After that, they had been removed from the surface base in Bledavik and were sent back to Etrenank, awaiting new orders. This was the first time they had gathered for anything other than training sessions since returning home.

Vance's head still pounded, but he had no choice but to ignore it. He was already late. He left the Drive on his dressing table and left.

"So, you got the call, too?" Renk asked when he arrived at the gear dock in Gebler Headquarters.

"Yeah. So you don't know what this is about?"

"This meeting came from higher up than me. From a Lieutenant Owens. Oddly, though...'Lieutenant' was misspelled."

Vance had noticed that about his own summons, and had thought it odd someone would misspell their own rank. But it was one of 'those' words anyway, and some people in Gebler hadn't been to Jugend or were even highly educated.

_I don't know why this Lieutenant Owens didn't just short form it...ah, well. That's not important._

"Think they're preparing for war on the surface?" Stratski asked, mirroring what Vance had already been wondering.

Vance shook his head. "I dunno."

"Well, we've gotta do something soon. The people of Etrenank are getting antsy," Helmholz chimed in.

"Good. I've been getting really bored with nothing to do," Stratski said.

"Thing I was wondrin' was who that Lieutenant Owens guy is. I've never heard of him," Broyer spoke.

"I heard rumours we're getting a new commanding officer. It's probably him," Helmholz said.

"Yeah, I heard that, too. To replace Lieutenant Elhaym," Stratski said.

"I heard it's one of the Elements," Renk added.

"Commander Ramsus' personal troops?" Stratski questioned. "Aren't they just a bunch of weird chicks in bright clothes? I think I've seen them around the base."

"If they're Elements class, they're talented. Remember, this is Commander Ramsus' Gebler. People get by on their talent now. If they didn't deserve to be there, they wouldn't be there," Helmholz added.

"Yeah, it's not going to kill us," Renk said, stroking his auburn beard curiously. "Sure, Lieutenant Elhaym was a silly woman, but I tell you - if she can work a gear as good as that, she's okay in my book. I'm willing to bet that this new officer's gonna be something special, too."

"The Lieutenant let us down. I still think we shoulda reported what really happened," Broyer quipped.

"Hey, come on," Renk chimed in. "You want her to be killed? 'Sides, we got no real proof she went off with that guy."

"She must really have it bad," Stratski said.

"Oh, and like you've never had it bad," Helmholz added.

"Hey, that's not fair! Using the past against me. Don't tell these jerks about that."

"Like it's ever lasted more than a week," Helm responded.

"Hey, you two. Cut it out. I think she's coming."

The five men lined up neatly in formation as the door slid open and the woman stepped in.

The demi-human stood before them all, allowing the group to sum her up quickly. She was of small build for a woman, but her hair alone added two or three inches to her height. The hair was pink and seemed to have a life of its own. She had a pair of floppy bunny ears which practically fell in her face. She was dressed in a red and pink battle dress.

"Hi, all!" she spoke, her voice chipper. "Are you guys the Gebler Special Forces Platoon B?"

"We are," Renk spoke.

"Oh, good. I'm your new officer, Seraphita. I don't really have a title, but... I kinda like Lieutenant. So I guess you can call me Lieutenant Seraphita or Lieutenant Owens or whatever you want to. Anyway, what're your names? I'm so excited, because I love meeting new people!"

Stratski shot Helmholz a glance that Vance caught out of the corner of his eye. It was clear they had both decided not to take the cherub-like woman seriously. Not that Vance could blame them.

"You!" she said, pointing right at Helm. "What's so funny?"

"Um...er...nothing."

"Oh! Good, then. I kinda thought you were laughing at me or something. What's your name?"

"Corporal Helmholz."

"Is that your first name or your last name?" she asked.

"Well...my last name."

"What's your first name?"

"Um...it's _Victor_..."

"It's nice to meet you, Victor!" She walked over and shook his hand enthusiastically. Helmholz looked at Stratski with a look that said, "Yup...we're dead meat."

Nobody, save Stratski, ever called Helmholz by his first name. Not even Renk. Vance wasn't quite sure why that was. It was an unwritten rule within the platoon. But Lieutenant Owens seemed to be the oblivious type.

"What about you?" she said, turning to Helmholz's friend.

"Um...Corporal Stratski. Knute Stratski."

"Great! Now isn't this fun! What about you?" she asked Renk.

"Platoon Sergeant - Renk Elcide."

"Good, good. What about you?"

"Corporal Vance Nye," he sighed.

"You're kinda young. How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Oh, you must be an ace at gear combat to be here so young!"

"Yeah, well...I am."

"I'm young, too. I'm good at gear combat too, even though a lot of people tell me I don't look like the type. I guess you and me have something in common, then."

"Yeah, well..."

Vance quickly wondered if the woman had the same problem with being taken seriously that he'd had when he had first been promoted. But he quickly pushed it aside to pay attention to what happened next.

Lieutenant Seraphita stepped up to Broyer, a big man who easily dwarfed her and everyone else around him. He looked very nervous.

"What about you?" she asked, then looked up, her green eyes seeming especially interested in him.

"Um...er...um..." Broyer stammered. "It's - uh...F... Fi...Finn...Finn Broyer...um...yeah. Finn Broyer."

"Um..." she spoke.

There was a long pause as the two stared at each other. And stared...and stared...

"Uh, I have a question..." Stratski said, breaking the profound silence.

"What?" she asked, tilting her head, almost as if unwilling to take her eyes off of Broyer.

"Um...are you for real? I mean, Commander Ramsus can't be serious putting you in charge of our platoon, can he?"

Broyer hit Knute on the arm, almost knocking him over. "Shut up, Stratski!"

Seraphita looked genuinely hurt. "You don't think I can do it, do you? You think I'm kinda dumb, right?"

"No! You're not dumb at all!" Broyer spoke.

"Oh...Finn..." she sighed.

"Oh, brother..." Vance spoke, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, sometimes I'm not too smart...but I'm kinda good at what I do. When Lieutenant Elhaym was pronounced MIA, I was promoted to the Elements, and since I'm the fire element and Elhaym was the fire element before, I take her place here as commanding officer of your platoon. And if you guys don't like it, that's too bad!" she said, looking serious. But then her face became cheery again. "But I'm sure we're gonna end up getting along famously, right? Good!"

Her eyes went back to Finn Broyer.

"Um...it's Seraphita, right?" he asked.

"Yeah...but...my friend Tolone calls me Sera. You can call me Sera if you want to, Finn."

"Uh...okay...Sera, then."

Once again, a mutual admiration stare ensued and Vance sensed the impatience of the others.

"Um...Lieutenant...do you have any orders for us?" Strastski asked.

"Uh...well, no. I just wanted to meet you all so we could start being friends now. If you want to, you can go."

"Good," Stratski said, turning to leave.

Vance watched their new commander and Broyer a couple moments more, staring and mooing at one another, then muttered to himself, "Man...that's sickening. Can I throw up now?"

Renk urged Vance along with a hand on his shoulder. "If she doesn't need us anymore, we might as well get back to our day off. Coming, Vance?"

The young man nodded, and followed the other three men out of the hangar.

"Don't see love at first sight very often," Renk said. "Those two are made for each other."

"Yeah. Combined their IQs probably add up to about the same as an average human," Stratski added. "Could only get better."

"I wouldn't say Broyer was that unintelligent. Sure, he's not the brightest star, but he's not an epsilon," Renk added. He was referring to the ancient class levels that had existed in Solaris before they had been simplified two centuries before. Vance knew about it only on a basic level from bits and pieces he had heard.

"Nah, not an epsilon. He's not that bad. Not sure about her, though. And she's our new commanding officer. What a joke."

"If she's a senior officer, she would have gone to Jugend. Even in Ramsus' Gebler , that's standard. You can't be stupid and get through that place. It's hard."

"I concur with that," Helm said.

"Hmm. True," Stratski said. "I wonder who did her homework for her."

Helm started to laugh, but controlled himself quickly. "Indeed. That makes sense. I admit to doing a couple papers for Knute during our time there..."

"Hey...don't tell them that. I had a hard time with some of the language at first. While you absorbed it like a sponge," Stratski said. "In final year, you have to admit I did every single paper myself. Anyway, we were talking about our new commander. Did she say her name was Owens?"

"I'm pretty sure that's what she said."

"Lieutenant Seraphita Owens," Renk said. "You two are going to have to get better at remembering names if you're going to get through Gebler without pissing anyone off."

"Seraphita, Owens, Lieutenant...whatever. It doesn't change the fact she's dumb as a stick. And Broyer's there all 'tweedle dee I love thee' all of a sudden. I'm with Vance on this. Peee-uke."

"You must've never been in love before," Renk said.

"She'd have to be someone pretty special to catch his interest for more than a week," Helm added.

"Hey, that's not fair, Vic. I'll find her in due time."

"You have. Several times. For a day or two."

"Hey, I told you not to bring that up in front of the others. Those others obviously weren't the one. She's out there, I just haven't met her yet."

Yeah, me neither," Helm continued. "But...she'd have to be calm and smart. You probably just want a girl who will let you get your rocks off."

"Hey, that's not true! I'm looking for a lot more than that."

"Yeah, I guess she'd have to be a member of the Knute Stratski Fan Club and shower you with compliments 24 hours a day."

"Hmm...that wouldn't be so bad..."

"Well, I've found my special girl. Lucky for me," Renk said.

"Yeah, well, that's because you're an old bag, Renk. We'd worry about you if you hadn't."

"Hey, hey..."

"Alright, guys. Enough about this, okay?" Vance said.

"Why not? Aren't you old enough to start looking at girls? You still think they're icky, do you?"

"Hey, give me some credit, okay? Of course I've looked at girls. I just think love is overrated. That's all."

"Yeah, you've never been in love," Renk said.

"I... Never mind," Vance said. "Say, when's Ayra gonna be cooking that special thing with the ariberries and applelily again?"

"I dunno. She's been having a hard time finding the ingredients these days with all that chaos with the gates and stuff. She heard a shipment of supplies from the surface is going to arrive in three days to a week and she hopes she'll be able to get the fruit for it. 'Till then we're all outta luck."

"Anyone going to watch the Emperor on Homevision tonight?" Helmholz asked.

"Ppfh!" Stratski said. "More lip service to the masses. I don't need to watch that garbage to know things are going to be okay."

"Actually, I think there's a real danger," Helm said. "I'm surprised we weren't summoned to go into battle. I'd psyched myself for it and everything."

"Ayra's really worried, too. If the Lambs invade this land, it's gonna be chaos," Renk said. "I just don't want Ayra and Danie to get hurt."

"Yeah, well, you guys can be all paranoid about it, I'm going to bed instead. Tell me if I miss anything interesting."

"I'm going, too. See you guys," Helm said, following Stratski.

Renk saluted and walked on with Vance in silence.

"You're awfully quiet," Renk spoke. "Unusually quiet, kid. Something bugging you?"

"Well...no, I guess..."

Renk looked Vance with a touch of concern evident in his expression.

"Are you on 'Drive'?" he asked.

Vance shook his head.

"Yeah, I thought not. That's what it is, then."

They walked on. Renk spoke again. "It's rare when you're not on it."

"Renk, forget it. It's no big deal."

"Okay, whatever."

They reverted back to silence.

"Say, Renk..." Vance said suddenly.

"Yeah, kid?"

"Um...it's, well..."

"Spit it out."

He wanted to tell him everything - about the nightmares, the entry in his diary, how he'd been taking Drive just to survive, but he couldn't find the words. It wasn't the right time. It would never be the right time.

"Um...ah, never mind. I'm going to go now."

"See you later."

Vance crossed the hall to the apartment across from Renk's, not turning back to look at his superior. He couldn't burden him with all that he was going through, and he had already done enough to Renk and his family due to his habit of using Drive to survive.

For a moment he sat on his bed without even turning on the light. The mental exhaustion hit him, and the silence around him became more profound and harder to deal with. Maybe he just needed noise, people...careless banter to help take his mind of things. So he decided it would be better to take a walk to the centre of town.

Before he knew it, he was in the main shopping area. He didn't even remember getting there - his mind had wandered over so many things. But at the least, they didn't wander to those dark depths, and he didn't desire the Drive or the sleep.

He paused a moment on the bridge over the plaza, and silently stared down to one of the stores below. He hadn't been to the import store in years. Not since his life had been forever changed.

_I won't go inside. I won't even think about it. _

_I don't even know if she suffered for what I did, as much as she knew nothing about what I was trying to do. For that reason, I don't even know if she would even remember me. I know all too well how this place works. Solaris doesn't care about people's pain. Especially when you resist their stifling world order. Even the innocent around the guilty are made to suffer._

_I'm afraid to go there and see she's not around anymore because of me. Even if she is, then I'm afraid to go in and pretend that I don't even remember her. It would have to be that way - I don't want her any more involved than I've already made her. And I don't know if it would be worse to have her not remember me, or me having to pretend I don't know her. It's better to not find out._

_I wish things had been different. I wish I hadn't screwed things up so badly. But I can't change the past. I'm only left to deal with what I've left behind. And so, regardless of what might have been, it can't be. Which is probably better for her in the long run, anyway._

_It was just a silly childhood crush, anyway. I probably made more of it than it was._

Vance turned his back from the square and walked in the other direction. There were other places to walk and ponder. He didn't need to be somewhere where he was forced to think of his life's greatest mistake.

* * *

Renk watched Vance slowly enter his apartment, as if he didn't want to be alone. Renk wished he knew what to say, but he admitted he didn't know how to deal with Vance's pain, especially when he didn't confide in him.

There had been a time when Renk and his family had welcomed Vance into their home at any time. But things had happened, and Vance said he no longer felt comfortable around Renk's wife and young daughter. It was the Drive, of course. What the Drive made Vance into. He had never said it aloud, but Renk knew what that drug did to good minds. The young man was scared of what he might do or say. So he had pushed himself away and never visited the Elcides anymore, despite living right across from them.

Ever since he had met Vance, Renk had noticed two completely different sides to the young man. The Vance on Drive was a narcissistic jerk, while the one off Drive was much more quiet, a little quirky, less into himself. There was something sad about that Vance, though, like he had some sort of burden resting on his soul. It had only become worse since they had returned to Etrenank from the surface. But Renk admitted seeing the true Vance far more often lately. Maybe he had given up Drive. Renk could only hope so. He had never seen anyone successfully do it before, especially when it was so readily available as standard rations.

Renk decided to push away his thoughts, and entered his own apartment.

He was attacked by a young girl with a book in her hand.

"Daddy, daddy! Look what I got!"

He knelt down to meet her at eye level. He took the book from the girl and looked at it.

"Welll...what is this, now?"

"There was this guy giving it out at school. It's all about purging the Lambs and stuff...it's about these evil Lambs who tried to invade Solaris and how the army beat them all up and kicked them out."

"I see...sounds like a good book."

"She's been reading it ever since she got home from school," came a calm, feminine voice. Renk's wife stood in the doorway to the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

"Hey, Ayra. I'm back."

"I can see that." The woman approached him and pecked him on the cheek. "I'm glad you're back."

"Can you make out all the words?" he asked the young girl.

"Most of 'em! But...I waited for you to come home so we could read the ending together."

He stroked his beard. "Well, then...let me eat some dinner, and I can read you the ending, how about that?"

"Yeah!"

"But you're gonna have to fill me in on exactly what happened before."

"I will! I will!"

"Danie, it's time for your shower."

"Aw, mommy..."

"No arguing. Go..." the woman said, pushing her daughter along.

"Okay...I'll go," Danie said, slumping her shoulders.

"Honestly, what is it with children and showers?" she said, placing her hands on her hips and shaking her head.

"I dunno."

"I thought you had an urgent meeting."

"Well, it turned out it wasn't quite so urgent. We got a new Lieutenant. Some pink-haired ditz from the Elements class. She just wanted to meet us and become friends. How she ever got through Jugend is beyond me."

"More than likely she's smarter than she appears."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Most of the time the Commander knows what he's doing, and she wouldn't have gotten so far without having some kind of talent. Ain't her brains, though. But Finn and she seemed to hit it off pretty well. Wouldn't be surprised to see them spending quite a lot of time together in the near future."

"Hopefully the distant future, too. I can't wait to meet her."

"Well, Finn's kinda thick sometimes, but to see him find someone who can barely match wits with him is great, I guess. So, what's for dinner?"

"Well, it's not grang steaks if that's what you're hoping for. That shipment still hasn't come in yet, so I had to make meatloaf."

"Hey, meatloaf's fine, you know that. You're the only person I know who can make it edible, Ayra."

"Wish I could like it as much. Whatever this weird meat is, it just doesn't quite cut it, you know? I wonder sometimes what kind of beasts they make it from."

"If they don't tell you, you probably don't wanna know."

"Oooh...that's a rather disgusting thought."

"I know, isn't it? Anyway, bring it on."

She scooped it onto the plate, along with some strange vegetables.

"You know, when you were in Bledavik, Danie was asking about what the surface is like."

"Really?"

"She wants to know how many Lambs you purged when you were down there."

Renk cleared his throat. "Kids sure grow up fast these days, don't they?"

Ayra nodded. "I tried to tell her that you weren't put on the surface to do that, but she wouldn't believe it. Could you explain to her that Gebler does other things besides purging the Lambs? She doesn't listen to me, and you're her hero."

"I'll talk to her, yeah."

"Good. Now eat your meatloaf."

He nodded.

"I'm just glad you didn't come home on Drive. That stuff changes you, Renk. I don't really like it."

"Yeah, I know. But Gebler says it makes us fight better, and if we work hard, we get promoted, right?"

She nodded, seeming only slightly convinced. She changed the subject. "The Dedication starts at seven o'clock. I hope it's good news."

"I hope so, too - just so things will calm down a little bit here. Everyone's so tense about this gate thing and Lambs getting in here and stuff. Danie doesn't know about it, does she?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Unless she learned it in school."

"Hmm...well, she doesn't seem scared."

"Well, you know her. If there is something wrong, she's more likely to confide in you than me."

"I'm dreading when those women-type problems come up and I can't answer 'em."

"Don't worry. Just forward them to me."

"I don't think I'll have much choice. I don't really know how to answer 'em."

"It won't make much difference anyway. She'll always be your little girl, right, Renk?"

"Of course! Even when she's forty, she'll always be a child in my head. But let me just enjoy her childhood while she's got it for now."

Ayra laughed. "Yeah. Sure."

* * *

Ever since Knute Stratski had known Victor Helmholz, they had been friends. From their first day together at Jugend, the two had hit it off and were practically inseparable. Knute wondered sometimes exactly what they saw in each other as friends, but he didn't question it. They were polar opposites in many ways - Victor was tall and lanky, serious, knew an unhealthy amount about gears, thought way too much about everything. Knute was, well...none of the above. Well, perhaps he over-thought things sometimes as well, but only when he was given way too much time to think of them. He was certainly the more impulsive of the two.

There were things about Victor that he hid from most people. Knute could see right through them. Everyone described Helm as cold and quiet, while Knute knew there was far more to him than that. Those things were like an unspoken secret between them, and in return for his silence about it, Victor helped calm Knute down when he got a silly notion in his head and treated him like a younger brother. He kept him from recklessly getting wrapped up in harmful endeavours. Unless of course, Knute _really_ wanted to do it. He could then easily sway Victor over to his side.

Recently, the two had discovered that they had been friends even longer than they had been led to believe. It had been far, far longer, though neither of them clearly remembered exactly when they had truly met the first time.

Even though they didn't share an apartment, one always seemed to be at the other's place. That night, they had chosen Helmholz's apartment to hang out in because Stratski admitted his wasn't fit for guests that evening. Knute knew that Victor had no illusions about his lack of organizational skills and loathing of housework, and Victor's apartment was always orderly, so it was the better choice.

"You're going to force me to sit through this tripe, aren't you?" Stratski said, sinking into the couch beside his friend, who played with the Homevision tuner.

Victor motioned to his left. "There's the door."

Knute pouted. "You suck, Vic. You know that?"

"Just because you're not concerned about Lambs getting in here doesn't mean nobody else is, Knute."

Stratski shrugged. "It might help us see a little action soon. I'm getting bored, lying around, waiting for us to be given something to do."

Victor sighed. "Yeah, that's just like you."

"Look, I just don't see how the Emperor getting up and making a speech is going to help. Besides, it's sort of stupid to worry about Lambs attacking when we're nothing more than Lambs ourselves, Vic."

"Knowing that makes me more concerned."

"Why's that? Oh, yeah. You're just being your normal, cautious self."

"No, seriously. Look... you and I - probably the others, too - we're Lambs, right? Give us a fancy gear and we're elite soldiers. Which tells me that there really isn't much difference between Solarians and Lambs. The only thing separating us is technology, and if the surface dwellers somehow got a hold of it, there's just no way we could beat them. There are far more of them than there are of us. Why do you think Solaris is so protective about their secrets?"

"Huh. I still think you're worrying about nothing. After all, how would the Lambs ever get a hold of Solaris technology?"

"Remember that gear that Lieutenant Elhaym wasn't able to get back? The one that guy friend of hers is riding now? THAT'S how. You know how badly Gebler whined about losing that thing. And its stats are classified, which means they're probably pretty amazing. Actually, not being able to know them kind of burns my ass a bit..."

"Oh, and one gear's going to bring down Solaris? Don't make me laugh, Vic. Even with amazing stats, that's impossible."

"I didn't mean just one gear. I mean...little by little. They'll slowly get it. And then they'll start making it themselves."

"Not in our lifetimes, Vic. By then, I'll hardly give a shit."

"There are some really talented people on the surface who love to tinker with this crap. If they learned how to make it rather than modify it, then...well...I think it will be within our lifetimes."

"From what little I remember, the surface just seems to be full of a bunch of hacks."

"That's because you don't remember..."

Knute eyed his friend. "Remember what?"

"Never mind. It will come to you when it's meant to."

Knute crossed his arms over his chest. "You suck, Vic!"

"I just think that the memories will come back to us when our mind is ready to remember them. I don't think your mind is ready for that chunk yet."

"Well, when I do start to remember it, help me fill in some of the blanks. Because right now, all I remember is my mom and dad, your dad, their blowhard friends and bits and pieces of our time at Miller Gordon's School for Boys."

"Like the time you put the underwear up the flagpole."

"Hey, I might have been the one who shimmied up there, but I wasn't the mastermind of that plan. Even I remember that much."

"And when you switched the male and female anatomy charts in science class."

"You're the one who came up with that plan too...if my memory isn't failing me."

Victor laughed. "I guess I'm not as quiet and innocent as I appear?"

"I have no illusions about that. I never have. You're the one who loves practical jokes. That hasn't changed, regardless of us losing our memories. I'm surprised nobody's beaten the living shit of out you for some of them."

Victor sighed and sat back. "You know...I've been thinking..."

Knute knew his friend's expression. Hesitant. Wondering if he was going to stir something by expressing himself.

"Go on, Vic. I'm curious. It's just between you and me."

"I've been thinking lately... what it would be like to go back and live on the surface."

"They'll probably station us there again soon."

"No, Knute. I mean permanently."

Knute cast his friend a doubting glance. "You've got to be kidding me. You'd leave Solaris and all we have here? For what?"

"I don't know. But now that I remember some things, I feel like I somehow have to go back. Solaris isn't my home."

"Nortune was hardly your home either, you know."

"Yeah, but... think about the circumstances of us getting here. What sort of a place would kidnap people, wipe their memories, then lie to them about it all? Not to mention...the circumstances and timing of our kidnapping was rather convenient, which means it was probably strategic on Solaris' part."

"Strategic? I don't get what you mean..."

"Never mind. It's from that chunk you can't remember."

It really bothered Knute that Victor wouldn't share that memory with him, but he decided to forget it for the time being.

"Regardless, you can't be serious about deserting."

"I'm not sure. But...it has most certainly crossed my mind more than once."

Knute cast Victor a confused glance for a second. He then threw up his hands. "This is stupid, Vic."

"No stupider than the time some kid said to me, 'Hey, Victor, let's run away from home and get away from this life. C'mon c'mon c'mon let's DOOOOO it!'"

Knute pouted again. He remembered telling his friend that in a much younger, more naïve time, even if his memory of when and why was a bit foggy. Why did he have to shove it in his face now?

"Have I ever told you that you suck?"

"All the time," Victor said with a smile. "But unlike when you coerced me into leaving home, this isn't something I'm jumping into blind. I've thought it over long and hard."

"Yeah, I know you probably have. But the main difference between then and now is that abandoning Solaris will get us killed. At least running away from home just pit us against the wrath of our parents. Not fun, but not deadly. Besides, I like what we have here. Being an elite soldier has its perks. And we get to ride some of the best gears in the country. In the world! Do you think we'll be able to ride ones that nice on the surface? That's assuming we can ride them at all! Besides, what did we lose out on, really? Soldiers in the Kislev army, soldiers in Gebler...it's all the same, really."

Victor looked at his friend. "I keep forgetting you have no recollection of what we lost. You're just going to have to trust me on these things."

"Well, it's hard to trust when it's like walking in the damn dark."

Victor sighed. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. I should forget these things. Never mind. Forget I even mentioned it. Let's just watch the Dedication."

Knute was annoyed that he had been cut off mid-argument, but he wasn't in the mood to fight about it, anyway. So it was probably for the best.

_I know you're still thinking about it. I know that now that it's in your head, you're just going to continue to ponder on it until you finally build up the courage to leap. Just like that time when we were kids. It wasn't an impulse. I remember that much. Maybe when my brain stops being full of holes, I'll understand what you're saying, Vic. I want to understand. I really do. For you to feel this passionately about anything means it was probably something pretty huge._

"Promise me one thing, Vic," Knute said.

"What?"

"If you do...you know... Take me with you, okay?"

Victor smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

Renk sat with his daughter as she laid under her covers. He had promised to read the ending of the book with her, and he tried to always keep his word.

"And then Mr. Lamb said, 'You stupid Solarians! I'm gonna to kill you all!'

The Great Gebler said, 'No way, you barbarian! We have superior weapons and superior intelligence. There's no way you could even come close to defeating us!'

Great Gebler and his men charged Mr. Lamb and his men. They fought for a long time, but very quickly Great Gebler got the upper hand because he had superior intelligence and superior weapons. The Lambs were all lying down in terrible pain. The Great Gebler's men rounded up the Lambs and sent them to jail in the Soylent forever. Great Gebler, having reigned victorious against the savage Lambs, lived happily ever after. THE END."

Danie smiled. "Wow! That was a good story. Great Gebler really beat those bad Lambs up, didn't he?"

"Yeah. He got 'em good."

"Just like you, daddy, right?"

Renk sighed. "Yeah, just like me."

"When you were on the surface, were you scared of the Lambs?"

"No. They weren't that scary."

"That's because you had good weapons and were smarter, right?"

"Well...I guess so."

"How many Lambs did you purge on the surface?"

"Purge...do you even know what that means?"

"Well...I guess it sort of means something like killing, right?"

"That's exactly what it means when it's used like that."

"And Solaris people purge Lambs, right?"

"Well, sometimes we do."

"Especially people in Gebler, like you, right?"

"Well, sometimes, yes."

"So how many did you purge in Bledavik?"

"I wasn't sent to the surface to purge the Lambs, Danie. I was sent down to support the Aveh army in their war with Kislev."

"So the Lambs were like your friends?"

"Well, sort of. We were a separate force from the surface's troops, but we did provide support in battles they couldn't handle on their own."

"So instead of purging all Lambs, you only purged ones from Kislev, right?"

Renk thought about it. "I suppose so. If you put it that way. But we weren't put down there to purge Lambs. Not directly. If they wanted us to, there were specific orders to do so, but that wasn't our primary purpose of being there."

"Oh."

"Gebler does more than just purge Lambs. We keep balance in the war on the surface, too. And other things. Like protecting Etrenank."

"Oh."

The girl was deep in thought.

"I once asked a question in school, and I got in a lot of trouble for it. But...I really wanna know something. If it makes me bad, I don't mean to be, but...can I ask you?"

"Well, sure. If it's leaving a buzz in your head, why not?"

"Why do we purge Lambs?"

Renk sat there. Such an insightful question for such a young girl. He had thought about it briefly himself, but then it was overcome with the 'work hard, get promoted' slogan Solaris had drilled into him long ago.

"Well...that's sort of a hard question to answer. I don't thing there's a simple answer to it."

"Am I bad, daddy?"

"Well...no, I don't think so. It's just something we really shouldn't think about."

"But why not?"

"Well...I suppose you know it already. Asking that question can get you in a lot of trouble. So don't ask anyone else, okay?"

"Well...okay, daddy. If you say so."

Renk tucked her in carefully, just the way she liked it. He couldn't help noticing she was ready to ask another question.

"What is it, princess?" he asked.

"Could the story in my book come true, daddy? Could Lambs really come to Solaris?"

Renk paused carefully. "Well...I don't know for sure. We're all sort of hoping they won't."

"I heard about the gates breaking from a kid at school, and that the Emperor was going to go on Homevision tonight to talk about it."

"Are you scared?"

"No. Because I know if they come that you'll get them, won't you, daddy?"

"Well, I..."

"Promise me. You've gotta promise me you'll kill the Lambs if they try to hurt me."

"Well...Okay. I promise I'll always protect you."

She smiled brightly. "I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, princess." He kissed her on the forehead. "Now go to bed."

She nodded, closing her eyes. "Good night, daddy."

"Good night."

Back in the living area, where he and Ayra slept, his wife sat before the Homevision.

"What's going on?"

"The Emperor is entering the plaza. He hasn't said anything yet."

Renk sat next to his wife on the couch, and turned towards the screen.

From his opalescent throne, Solaris' Emperor Cain spoke, "My beloved children, you can be at ease. The Gazel Ministry and I planned the destruction of the gate long ago. The people chosen by god...we, the Gazel, will return to God's paradise. To the sleeping mother god...The time for our immortality has come. We have opened the door to 'Mahanon'...the place where god rests, the source of wisdom and power. The surface dwellers will no doubt use this opportunity to seize its power. However, there is no need to be concerned...as long as Solaris has this power. Let's show stupid beasts, the Lambs, our real power."

Fireworks erupted in the sky above the Emperor as another platform beside Emperor Cain rose. A golden-haired man stood on it.

"Wow! Krelian! Haven't seen his face in years," Renk said.

"Not since the Great Plague in the Worker Bee camps," Ayra spoke. "Must be pretty dire if he's showing his face in public."

"Children of the Emperor, please open your heart," Krelian spoke. "The gate we control was removed by will of the Emperor. However, there are foolish beasts here defiling our holy land with their feet. These beasts destroyed the gate and want to remove the Emperor from the throne in the confusion. This is a grave matter. The Emperor's throne has been polluted. We cannot rest yet. Those imbeciles have been caught and shackled like the dogs they are!"

Ayra looked at Renk with fear. "What - what do they mean? The Lambs are already here?"

More platforms rose and from each one, a hologram was projected - those of five Lambs, all sentient but not all human, chained down and helpless.

"Oh...my god!" Ayra spoke. "Is that them? Is that what they look like?"

Renk nodded and placed his arm around her, knowing she had never seen them before and was probably nervous.

"They're scary! What is that big one there? He's immense!"

"A demi-human, no doubt. He is kinda scary-looking, yeah," Renk said.

Ayra looked at them all quizzically.

"Still, though, I never imagined they'd look so much like us..."

"That kid there...look at his colouring...could he have been born here?" Renk questioned. "He's in an Ethos uniform, too."

"Well, if Krelian says he's a Lamb, he's a Lamb..."

Krelian went on. "To revive our progenitors, the Gazel of old, the day after tomorrow, these land dwellers will be disposed of in the Soylent System. We assure you - Etrenank and Solaris are safe. But it will require your constant effort. Please report all suspicious activity directly to your superiors. We must all work together to save ourselves from destruction and bring about this time of pure glory for the entire Solaris nation."

Cain spoke again. "That is all. Stay well and work hard, everyone."

The Dedication ended in another shower of fireworks.

Ayra squeezed his hand nervously. "I can't believe they broke through... under our noses and we didn't even know... maybe... maybe there's more of them...?"

"Don't worry. If there are, they'll be flushed out. Krelian and the Emperor said things are under control. So they're under control."

"I - suppose..."

"Hmmm..." Renk said, standing up.

Ayra also rose. "I wonder what the Emperor meant about returning to immortality... to the sleeping mother god? I don't get what they mean. It was lot of big words I don't really understand..."

"Don't worry about that. It's probably all good."

"I just wonder what that means for us?"

"Probably just that things are going to get better instead of worse around here."

"Yeah, probably. But...I hope they're right."

"We have to believe they're right."

"Mmm..." Ayra spoke, pushing a button. The couch they had been sitting on turned into a bed.

She eyed Renk with a hopeful gaze. "Do you think we can ever be promoted to first class?"

"Well...if we both work hard and do our duty, then I don't see why not."

She smiled warmly. "Good. I'd love to have a garden of my own some day. I'd grow all my favourite flowers, just like the ones in Arbot Plaza. I'd love to fill my house with flowers some day."

"You'll get that. I promise you. I'll work hard to give you all those things."

"I'll work hard, too."

"We both will. Now don't worry about the Lambs. You heard the Emperor. They planned for it to happen this way. Those Lambs are going to the Soylent facility. They have it under control."

"I know...but I'm still concerned."

Renk held her. "That's just you bein' you. You never let your guard down for anything. Listen, let me promise you something."

"What?"

"If the Lambs overcome this land, I'll protect you and Danie with my life. You two are the most important things in the world to me, and I'd never let anything bad happen to you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay. I'll accept that."

"Great. Now I should get some sleep. I have a shitload of paperwork to finish tomorrow at the base. Not looking forward to it, but it's gotta be done before the training session tomorrow."

Ayra nodded. "I guess I should get some sleep, too. They think there's going to be a huge mess to clean up after the crowds who went to the Dedication. Nobody had better have stomped all over the flowers. Arlen will be mad if so and when he's mad, he likes to take it out on the people around him. I'll need all my patience to deal with that. I swear, if he's ever promoted, I bet he'll refuse it just because he doesn't want to abandon his babies. Those flowers are his life. I mean, I love them too...but he just goes way over the top."

"Well, here's hopin' it's all in good order, then. Unfortunately, I know people, and I'm willing to bet there's been at least a little bit of flower stompin'."

Ayra rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know. I just hope it's not the orchids."

Renk pecked her on the cheek. "Good night, dove."

She turned out the light, and Renk sat sitting in the darkness. Strange thoughts went through his mind - mainly Danie's question, "Why do we purge Lambs?"

Lieutenant Elhaym had asked them before their last mission on the surface, regarding the Lambs, "They're human...the same as us, right?" He had thought those kinds of feelings were unusual, especially since she was a Gazel. But he admitted to feeling the same way about their mission in Nortune, he just didn't have the background or rank to say so aloud.

He had no recollection of his life much before being sent to Jugend, so there was a good chance he had been born on the surface. Whatever his old life had been, he certainly couldn't recall it to miss it. Ayra had been born to two generations of third class worker bees, so didn't know the surface, and only had Solaris' visions of the surface and surface-dwellers, and Danie would probably be the same way. But he had just spent three months on the surface and had seen how things were there.

_I suppose not all of the Lambs deserve to be purged...there were some good people in Bledavik. Hmm...not to say some of 'em shouldn't be. That idiot in the black gear that Elhaym ran off with...yeah, I'd really love to get him..._

He looked over at his wife, her face peaceful as she slept, her slow, even breathing filling his ears with its familiar song.

_Ayra...you're not the only one who's worried. I wonder... does Emperor Cain have this as under control as he says? What's he hiding from us? Something big's gonna happen. I can't help getting this feeling in my gut..._

* * *

Two days passed uneventfully in Etrenank, with the people happier in the news that they were safe from the Lambs. The Gebler Special Forces even began to believe it would be awhile before they would be called back into active duty. Gebler had been pretty much calm, with no activity within Solaris, or on the surface. Since pulling out of Bledavik, life had been more than dull.

Except for Finn Broyer. He had something other than Gebler or Solaris' well-being on his mind. Instead, he had Seraphita on it at every moment.

It was their third date in two days, the second broken up only by their required almost daily training sessions. Starry-eyed and light-footed, their relationship only grew stronger as they spent time together, talking and getting to know one another.

After spending a day together Etranstrolling hand-in-hand, Sera invited Finn back to her apartment to watch a movie and eat some popcorn. He anxiously accepted her request, because he had never been to the first class levels of Etrenank before, and was anxious to see them. He also wanted to see Sera's apartment. He had heard the apartments in that block of the city were much larger than anything he would have imagined.

"This is it!" she spoke excitedly, pushing in the code to open the door.

"This hallway alone is huge!" Finn spoke. He had also been impressed by the outside of the low-rise apartment. This was the form of housing for the 1st class non-Gazel, the highest rank any former worker bee could ever hope to achieve, and the one they all aspired to. Just seeing the size of the place gave Finn added incentive to work hard and get himself promoted.

"Wait until you see the inside! I've got five rooms!"

"Five rooms? Wow, that's big!"

"Yeah! I've got a living room and a dining room and a kitchen and a bedroom and a bathroom. And my bedroom's big! The shower's even got a little wall around it!"

"That's amazing. I can't wait to see it."

"It's so much bigger than the worker bee camps! They've only got one room there."

"I know. It stinks, too."

"Yeah. Well, here it is."

Sera showed it off with a flourish of her hands.

Yes, it was definitely bigger. Very much bigger, but...

It was a pigsty! The very sight of it made Finn's hair stand on end.

The one thing he couldn't stand was a messy living space. His own apartment was immaculate and squeaky clean. The guys often teased him about it, but it was just his way. The slightest bit of disarray would set off his balance.

"What do you think? Isn't it great?"

"Oh...yeah, it's wonderful!" he said, stepping in.

She kicked off her shoes and said, "Want me to give you a tour?"

"Well...I guess so, but..."

"Great! Follow me!"

Finn felt that closed-in feeling he always felt where there was too much clutter around him.

"Uh...just give me a second to take off my boots."

"Oh! Okay!"

He took his own boots off and neatly put them by the door. Then he picked up hers and placed them neatly on the mat. He also straightened the other pairs of shoes.

"Well, that's that. Let's start the tour! This is the living room," she announced.

He saw a stack of comics had fallen over in her bookcase. He neatened them quickly, and began to rearrange them in alphabetical order when she skirted him off to the next room.

"This is my dining room, only I don't really do a lot of eating here unless I get take-out because I really can't cook very good."

A chair in her dining room was piled high with papers and a sweater hung over the back. He picked up the pile of papers and put them in the recycler for pick-up. He took the sweater from the back of the chair and looked for a coat rack or something.

She pushed him into another room.

"This is my kitchen. I don't use it much, either. But I did try to make Tolone a birthday cake in here once. It was a disaster. It was as hard as a rock. Tolone ate it, though. Dominia didn't. I guess it didn't taste too bad, but..."

Finn tuned out her story, quickly observing the dirty dishes in the sink. For someone who claimed not to use the room much, it certainly looked otherwise. He took a pot which sat on the stove and put it in the sink. He then began to pile dishes on the counter to wash them.

"Finny, are you listening to me?" she asked.

"Oh! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course I am."

"Oh, good! I'll show you my bedroom now!"

She dragged him across the living area to an adjacent hallway.

"This is the bedroom, and this is the shower! Check it out! I've got a neat wall here to cover me up when I'm having a shower!"

"Yeah! That's really neat!" he said, looking around desperately for a cleaner that would help clear the mildew from her shower glass. Before he could find anything even vaguely resembling that, she dragged him to the bathroom.

"This is the bathroom," she giggled. "Of course, you know what I do here."

"Uh...yeah..." he said, picking up a soggy towel from the rack and running it over her sink. When the pink hairs halfway down the drain would not untangle from some unseen force, he looked in the cabinet for drain cleaner.

"Well, that's enough of the tour! Let's just watch the movie! I'll make some popcorn and be right back!"

"Yeah! Great!" Finn said, looking around at what he should do first. He just couldn't leave the place looking like this. He picked up some of the clothes on the couch, observed them to see whether they were clean or dirty, and chose the latter option.

"Do you have a hamper?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah! It's in the bathroom!" she said. "Why?"

"Um...no reason."

She came out of the kitchen a couple minutes later with a bowl of popcorn.

"Finny...?" she asked, watching him as he straightened up her apartment.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing? Are we going to watch the movie?"

"Well...uh, yeah. I'll be right over."

"Why are you cleaning my apartment?"

"Well...um...I just thought I...I was just trying to help. I guess you've been too busy to clean, right?"

"Clean? Oh, I do that sometimes, but I'm not very good at it. It's kinda obvious, huh?"

"Well...er..."

"Yeah. My friend Tolone says I'm a real slob 'cause I never clean my apartment. It looks like you're good at it, though. You must do it a lot, then. I guess it's kinda rare when the guy's all neat and the woman's a bit messy, right? Usually it's the other way around, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You really don't have to do that."

"Oh...well, yeah. I really do."

She laughed. "Finn, you're so funny!"

He looked at her again. She was just so cute. At first he doubted his feelings for her when he saw the condition of her apartment, but how could he turn down that sweet laugh, and those sparkling eyes?

She sat on the couch, putting the bowl on the table. A little bit of the popcorn fell out of it and all over the floor. He reached for a broom and swept it up.

"Finn? Aren't you gonna come over and have some popcorn?"

He looked around the apartment. It looked presentable, he supposed. He could live with it. And even knowing she was a slob didn't turn him off, which surprised him.

He also plopped down on the couch next to her and she put on the movie. He had seen it before and had not been immensely impressed by it. That made it all the easier for him to be distracted by the occasional bits of disorganization around her apartment, but he tried to ignore them and enjoy himself. As the movie went on, it became easier. Sera's presence took away the feelings of insecurity he had when in messy surroundings.

"That was a good movie! I liked it a lot, what did you think, Finn?"

"It was okay. I liked the company more, though."

"Company? Oh! Oh, Finn, that's so sweet..."

He glanced at his watch.

"Well, it's late. I had a great time."

"Yeah, I had a great time, too. And thanks for cleaning my apartment. It was really sweet of you. You're so nice, Finn."

She kissed him suddenly, and it took him completely by surprise. That sealed it for him. She was the one. The one he had dreamed for all his life. Who cared if she was a slob? He could get over it. Perhaps the guys were right when they said he was a neat freak. Maybe he had to learn to live with things not being one hundred percent straight or clean.

"Let's go out again tomorrow," he said.

"Yeah. I'd love that. What should we do?"

"Maybe we can check out the races."

"The races? That sounds fun!"

"Okay, we'll do that, then. Same time. In front of the import store. Maybe that shipment of ariberries will be in and we can have some for breakfast."

"Mmm! I love them!"

"Well...I'll see you tomorrow, then..."

"Yeah..."

He leaned in and kissed her this time.

She was blushing as he walked away. He couldn't see that he also was.

* * *

Renk met his men at the gear hangar that morning, earlier than normal. Their near-daily training sessions were intended to keep them fresh during their down time. Renk still had paperwork to do back in his office, so he had decided to make it a short one that day, and let his guys take the afternoon off. He had considered the possibility of canceling for the day, but Major Harm Vanderkaum had requested to watch their training.

A long-time military family, the Vanderkaums were famous, or rather, infamous in Gebler. Renk and the Major had been long time rivals since their days together in Jugend and had never gotten along. Harm's father, General Heidrich Vanderkaum, had recently died in a battle in the Aveh desert. The General had been a traditional military man - one who believed that heavy artillery was still better than the swift, heavy-hitting gears. Renk thought Heidrich Vanderkaum had been a fool. Unfortunately, like father like son, down to the same cross-shaped tattoo over most of his face, though the junior Vanderkaum's was red rather than grey. Renk suspected the Major had shot through the ranks not because of his talent, but because of who his father was, despite how much Harm always went on about earning his rank through 'blood and sweat'. That was before Kahran Ramsus' reforms, of course. Since that time, the Major hadn't been promoted in years, save his appointment to Gebler's Gear Division in Etrenank, where he supervised the Elite squads that Renk and his men were part of. Why he had been promoted to head a part of Gebler's gear division when he had such a contempt for gears was beyond Renk. But it wouldn't be the first time Renk disagreed with Gebler's appointment decisions. And since he was just a low-ranking officer himself, he had little sway to change things. Besides, for Vanderkaum, with his seething hatred of gears, that would feel very much like a demotion, especially to be stuck there.

Usually when Harm Vanderkaum decided to come out of his office and pretend he cared about his post it was when they were all about to be re-stationed or it was time for annual review, which had already been done when they had returned from Bledavik. Renk felt uneasy about it. He didn't want to leave Ayra and Danie alone so soon after coming back. But such was the nature of his work, and despite how much he didn't like it, that was what had to be done. Ayra understood, but he always felt badly for leaving his little girl. How much would she grow while he was away this time?

Also waiting next to Major Vanderkaum was a pink-haired woman that Renk was sure was Lieutenant Owens.

"Hi, Renk!" she called over with a smile and waved as if she had known him for years.

Renk nodded, more appropriate for the situation. "Lieutenant."

"Vanderbum and I are just gonna watch and see what you can do, okay? I haven't seen you guys fly yet and I'm kinda curious," she said, having no idea that she had massacred the Major's name. Renk tried his best not to laugh.

"Elcide...just go on like normal. We're just gathering data. And this isn't going to be a long session, is it? I have pressing matters later today."

"This won't take long, Major. Just a few small exercises. I admit to be drowning in paperwork myself that's gotta get done."

"Hmph," the Major said, turning away. "Leave it to a gear pilot to be drowning in all the 'trivial' work. Your paperwork was due two weeks ago. I'm growing tired of excuses."

As much as Renk wanted to smash Harm's face, he quickly composed himself.

"My apologies, Major. I'll have the reports done by tomorrow."

"Don't worry about paper too much!" Lieutenant Owens piped up. "I never get mine done in time, either. Usually Tolone just ends up helping me finish it...oh!"

Broyer ran to the gear hanger and joined his fellow pilots quietly, as if he was trying to hide the fact he had arrived late. He had a goofy grin on his face that had been there since he had met the Lieutenant. It grew larger when he realized she was there.

"Broyer," Renk said. "The meet time was 10. Everyone else is ready to go."

"Uh...I'm sorry, Renk. I guess my watch is a bit slow."

"Finny! Good morning!" Lieutenant Owens spoke, then blushed.

Broyer smiled sheepishly. "Good mornin', Sera..." His face was just as flushed as hers.

"Broyer!" Renk said. "It's training time."

"Oh! Oh, yeah. Sorry, Renk. Uh...I'll see you again later, right?"

"Yeah, of course! But I'm gonna watch you guys train first! I bet you're gonna do really great, Finny!"

"Aw, well...I dunno..."

"Broyer!" Renk said, urging his soldier away.

"Go, okay?" Sera said.

"Uh, yeah. Okay!"

Broyer hopped on the lift that took him to Aegisknight's cockpit.

Renk clenched his fists and took a deep breath as he settled into his own cockpit. He hated it when people were observing he and his men. Even more when it was Vanderkaum. But they had all gotten by before, and he had to trust that they would all do alright. They were all doing very well, with one noted exception. To Renk's dismay, Broyer's flying was exceptionally sloppy the last couple days. Renk sighed, but smiled in spite of himself. It was true Finn had been distracted during their training sessions since meeting the Lieutenant, but Renk remembered how he had been a few days into his own courtship and realized it would probably pass. He would speak to Finn about it after training, and hopefully that would be enough to bring his lovesick soldier back down to reality.

"What the hell was that, Finn?" Stratski spoke, vocalizing what Renk was thinking as Finn attempted to block simulated gunfire. "You're supposed to be covering me!"

"Uh...yeah. Sorry, Stratski."

"Broyer..." Renk said. "Mind on the battlefield. Pretend this is the real thing."

"I know, I know...sorry. I just hate bein' watched."

"We all do," Helmholz spoke coldly.

"This is the same as always, Finn. Just pretend we're out there by ourselves," Renk said.

"I'll try, guys. I'll try. I'm sorry...just give me a sec..."

"Five seconds...then we're going back to the exercise."

Renk sighed. He was slightly torn - he knew he would likely have to talk to Finn sooner than later, and the longer he waited, the worse it would become.

After the session was over, Renk landed first and was called over by Vanderkaum. Lieutenant Owens had run over to Aegisknight, leaving the two alone.

Vanderkaum scowled. "It's clear you and your men have been slacking off."

"I know that was very sloppy on Corporal Broyer's part, Major. My apologies on his behalf. It won't happen again."

"Oh, but it will. Repeatedly. At least until his relationship with Owens is cut off. Which _is_ going to happen before it becomes a bigger problem."

"With all due respect, sir...I agree it gets in the way during training as it stands now, and I plan on talking to him about it and how he needs to be more professional. But I can't possibly expect him to break it off entirely. I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. And I care about the morale of my men."

"It's not that simple, Elcide. It's the law."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Major."

"The 'Cross-Class Marriage Act'. It forbids relationships between citizens of different classes. You and your men are all second class. Owens is first class. Such a relationship is forbidden under Solaris law."

Renk had vaguely heard about it, so he knew Vanderkaum wasn't lying to him in order to be a bastard. If it was law, then that did make the matter different.

"The normal punishment for it is a drop in class. I doubt someone accustomed to the luxuries of being second class really wants to be demoted back to the Worker Bee camps, do they, Elcide? Of course, there are other, more severe punishments. While uncommon, they're arguably less humane."

The last thing Renk wanted was for Finn to be in trouble, yet a piece of Renk ached at the thought of breaking his subordinate's heart.

"If it's not out-of-bounds, perhaps you should speak to her about it as well? To make sure both parties are on the same page with this."

"I most certainly would if it wouldn't get me a court martial for being insubordinate."

"But...she's a Lieutenant, isn't she?"

"She's no Lieutenant, Elcide. I don't care what she's going around calling herself. Owens is a Brigadier General. Technically. And if she was worth her salt, she'd know the relationship was inappropriate. The 'new way' be damned. Back in my father's day, you had to earn every rank with blood and sweat. Now they're just all willy-nilly and giving high ranks around because someone's 'talented'. Seniority means nothing anymore! Hmph."

Renk decided to ignore the Major's prejudices and continue with business. "Very well, Major. I suppose I have no choice in the matter."

"You most certainly don't. And do it now before I feel a need to report it to my superior."

As strong as Renk's distaste for Major Vanderkaum was, he was right. There was no point in delaying it. He supposed it would be easier to do it now, while the relationship was new and fresh, rather than waiting until it was well-established and hearts would be irreparably damaged.

"By your leave, Major." Renk clicked his heels and went back to his men, who had gathered for light conversation before dismissing themselves from training for the day.

"Finn... Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Finn pouted. "I'm sorry, Renk. I know I did real bad. I'll try harder next time. Honest I will. I'm havin' a really off day."

"Don't worry about that right now. There's something else we have to talk about. Just come with me for a minute."

Finn shrugged, and followed Renk to the lounge just outside the gear bay. It was empty, fortunately.

"What is it, Renk? Something wrong?"

Renk sighed, sitting down, and motioning Finn to do the same.

"I have something to tell you. And...well...you're not going to like it. But before I say it, I just want you to know that I don't like it, either."

"Well...out with it, Renk. Ya can always tell me when I'm screwing up, ya know?"

Renk sighed. "I said not to worry about it right now. I'll give you a break if you do better next time."

"Then what is it?"

"It's..." Renk stared into Finn's bright blue eyes, which stared at him with an undertone of obvious worry. There was no point in putting it off. This would be best. "It's... your relationship with the Lieutenant."

"The Lieutenant? You mean Sera?"

Renk nodded. "Yeah. Well...Finn, are you familiar with the Cross-Class Marriage Act?"

"The...'Cross Crass Marriage Fact'? Nah, never heard of it."

"Well...basically...it says that citizens of Solaris have to marry within their class. A second class like you... is forbidden from having a relationship with someone who is first class."

"But...Sera's first class."

"My point exactly, Finn."

For a moment Finn was silent, letting it sink in.

"So...what are you tellin' me, Renk? That I can't go out with Sera anymore?"

"Yes...That's what I'm saying. I'm sorry, Finn. But I figured it was best to tell you now, before it gets too serious."

Finn looked on the verge of tears. "God, Renk...it's already serious! You can't tell me this now! Not after last night, ya just can't tell me this! What am I gonna do? I love her!"

"You've only known her three days, Finn."

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean I don't love her, Renk! Last night..." Finn sniffled, and wiped his eyes. "Last night...I went to her apartment...and she's such a slob, Renk. But... I didn't care. I didn't care at all... and 'cause of that, I know I love her. You know what it's like when you just sorta look at someone and KNOW, Renk? I looked at her an' I KNEW. Ya can't tell me I've gotta just forget it. There's gotta be a way..."

Renk sighed again. Finn was taking this even worse than he'd expected. He'd never have guessed that Finn would have fallen for Seraphita so quickly. But Renk knew that it was possible, especially for someone as big-hearted and innocent as Finn. But...it was also possible that Finn was just too caught up in the whole romance thing and blinded by the novelty of it. If he was lucky it was more the latter, and the pain would wear off quickly.

"The Major figured...it would be easier for you to break it off than it would be for her to be forbidden to see you. She out-ranks him, and so it's entirely out-of-bounds for him to discuss it with her. I'm not allowed to talk to her at that level either, for the same reason. The only one who can end the whole thing is you, Finn."

"Do I hafta do it now? Can't I just have...a couple more days?"

"I know how you feel. If I had to give up Ayra, I'd take it really hard. But you're stronger than me. You'll be fine, Finn."

Finn sat quietly on the couch as Renk rose. He didn't say anything. He only stared at his feet and wiped his eyes with his sleeve one more time. Renk didn't want to leave him alone, but he knew Finn would be okay. It was best to let him sort it out for himself.

_~ End of Chapter 1 ~_


	2. Etrenank: Fallen City

**Gebler Special Forces: Chapter 2  
Etrenank: Fallen City**

In the darkness Vance shot awake, his body caked in sweat. He had seen it all again, as he had since he had sworn off Drive - the black images that he had held within him for over three years.

He wiped his eyes free of the tears that streamed down his face, his body shaking all over. For once, couldn't he just sleep through the night?

Vance rose, turning on his bedside light and sitting quietly on the end of his bed.

"I can't take much more of this...why can't it just leave me alone?" he mumbled.

He saw his rationed portion of Drive sitting over on his dresser, hidden behind his numerous personal grooming items. He hadn't taken the enhancement drug in three days, and was rather proud of himself. Even such a short span of time was a victory for him. He would have thrown it out and never looked at it again if only he wasn't given a new supply every week. Throwing it away would also be futile, since he suspected Solaris went through people's garbage.

For a moment he was tempted by the yellow liquid staring back at him, promising to take the horrible images away. The blurring exhaustion caused by not sleeping was weakening his will. He knew it would only be a matter of time before he took it again.

He stood, going over to the commode and reaching for it.

"No..." he told himself aloud. "Never again...never again..."

He wiped his eyes again.

"This whole thing sucks. God, isn't there anything I can do?"

He shook his head. "No. Just don't take Drive, and keep your mind clean, and you'll find a way out of this. You've gotta have faith in yourself, Vance."

He brought out his thinking book and opened it to the next blank page, since he had given up on sleep completely. It was pointless, he knew it. Besides, it was so close to sunrise, there was no reason to even try.

_Nightmares,_ he wrote. _Haunting me with memories of a time I'd rather forget. I can't get them out of my sleep, despite all my attempts to push them out of my conscious mind. The only thing that takes them away is Drive. But that stuff makes me feel so awful, and turns me into such a horrible person that I just can't take it anymore. I curse the people who failed in re-programming me and my mind that won't let it work. It would be easier to be a soldier if I couldn't remember my freedom, my family...all the things we're told to throw aside in Solaris. Or that Solaris rips away from you._

_I hate it here. I just want to leave, but I don't want to lose anyone else. Who would it be if I was to go? Who would they blame it on and execute? Helmholz, Stratski, Finn, Renk...those guys are my only friends. Nobody is so valuable to Solaris that they're safe from recycling or re-programming. Except for me. They insist on keeping me alive to this misery. I wish I had been put to death, too._

_In many ways I envy our old officer, Lieutenant Elhaym. She left this place, and now she is free. I am forever trapped here, like a caged animal who paces back and forth, never able to accept its fate. I simply can't believe this is all there is. Work hard, get promoted. I don't want to accept that's all there is to it - this empty existence I'm forced to live for a place I don't love and a cause I can't believe in._

_I want God to take me away from all this. I want him to send a guardian angel to take me from here. If that can only be through death, then so be it. I just want it soon._

_Please, God, answer me._

He leaned back in his chair, his blue eyes looking up to the sky.

"God, please..." he whispered.

A squeal filled his ears. It was a red alert code.

"All gear pilots to your gears...all gear pilots to your gears... Etrenank is under attack. I repeat, Etrenank is under attack...all civilians proceed to your closest shelter...I repeat..."

Vance wondered for a moment if it was some strange sign, but he didn't have time to question it. If he didn't come to battle he would endanger his friends, and he wouldn't let that happen. He dressed quickly and stuffed the book and emergency rations in his pack, then rushed off to the Special Forces gear dock.

* * *

Renk shot awake at the first sound of the alarm. He didn't want to admit to himself that he had expected it for days. Before he could comprehend his actions, he was rushing into his uniform.

_I knew the Emperor was just paying us lip service. I could feel it coming. I don't know how, but sometimes you just get this sense..._

"Ayra...you'd better hurry," he said. "The shelter's not far from here. You remember where it is?"

The quaver in his wife's voice went straight to his heart. "Y - yes... It's happened, hasn't it? The Lambs have come to save their friends..."

"I don't know for sure...but it's a safe assumption."

"Renk...I'm scared..."

"I know, I know...I am, too. But...there's nothing you can do about it right now. Get Danie ready and hurry off. There's no time to waste."

He took his ration of Drive from the cabinet and stuck it in his pocket. He decided to wait and take it after his wife and daughter were no longer there to see it change him.

"I wanna take Mr. Bear. Is it okay if I take Mr. Bear?" Danie said as she clung on to a ratty teddy bear.

"I don't see why not, just hold on to him tightly," Ayra said, hustling her to the hall to put on her shoes.

"You'll protect us, daddy, right?" Danie asked.

"Yeah. I will. You can count on that."

Ayra kissed him quickly. "Come back safely..." she said.

"I'll be careful."

He kissed Danie on the forehead.

"Mind your mom, okay?"

"Yeah."

"And don't be scared. Be strong for me and for your mom, okay?"

"I'm not scared. Mr. Bear isn't scared, either."

"That's good. You both better hurry off."

He watched sadly as they left.

_Ayra, I know you always hate it when I go into battle. I can't blame you. You never know if you're going to come back or not. You can never know when your time's gonna come. I know it would do you a lot of good for me to leave the military and do something safe, but...I don't know how to do anything but work a gear. Or that's all I've been able to remember knowing, anyway. It's a job, and if I work hard we can get promoted, and maybe some day I won't have to do any real fighting any more._

He wasn't satisfied until they were both out the door. He hated enhancement drugs, but it was all a part of being in Gebler. The Drive serum ran into his arm with a burning sensation that spread throughout his entire body. He could never really remember any negative effects it had on him - only what Ayra had told him. But it enhanced his ability to use his gear, which was the whole point. And if the situation proved to be dangerous, he knew there was no other way. He had a couple promises to keep.

* * *

Vance was the last one to arrive at the gear dock. Seraphita and the others were waiting.

"'Bout bloody time you got here," Renk bellowed. Vance could tell by his superior's tone and mannerisms that he had already taken his ration of Drive.

"Sorry, Sergeant."

"Don't apologize. Just smarten up next time!"

Lieutenant Owens was looking more authoritative then Vance knew was possible of her. "No more time to waste guys, this is WAY serious," she said. "There's this big, red gear tearing up the capital. I have Element duties to back up the Commander because he's going to engage the gear directly, so I'm leaving Renk in charge of you guys. Just do what you can to slow that gear down. You okay with that?"

Everyone nodded.

"Okay, men! Let's move!" Renk called out.

Helm and Stratski rushed for their gears. Vance followed suit, letting the lift take him up to Clawknight's cockpit.

"The hell is wrong with you, Broyer? Didn't I tell you..."

"You did, but...Sergeant. I just...I can't do it..."

Vance hadn't seen the entire thing, but something about Renk's demeanour was particularly malicious that day. He looked ready to hit Finn, who cowered as Renk reprimanded him.

"Damn it all, Broyer! Don't start crying! Pull yourself together and just get into your goddamn gear! We'll discuss this later!"

"What the hell is THAT all about?" Vance asked.

"You MISSED it?" Stratski replied. "Broyer was sucking face with the Lieutenant before she left and Renk took offence to it."

"I...see..." Vance said, but he shook it off. There were more important things to concern himself with. He adjusted some of Clawknight's controls and strapped himself in.

"Standard formation," Renk commanded. "Stay together. Let's kick some Lamb ass."

"The Lieutenant said there's only one gear. How hard could that be?" Stratski spoke up.

"Must be some impressive gear to have all these troops after it," Helm spoke.

"Impossible. It's just one gear. How...?"

"Never mind that. The Commander knows what he's doing. Move out!"

They flew outside Etrenank, into the skies. Other gears had already joined the battle, both standard and other elite forces. Vance hadn't yet spotted their target, though the explosions ripped through the air, indicating there was something out there. He would have cursed his lack of Drive, had he not sworn off it so strongly. A bit of enhancement from the Drive couldn't hurt on the battlefield.

"I don't see him," Vance said, checking every scanner he had. _But I see the city's stabilizer is on fire. That's not a good sign..._

"By the side panels!" Helm pointed out.

"Broyer!" Renk called out. "On point!"

"We've got your back, Broyer," Stratski said.

Broyer was silent, but took front. Aegisknight, like Broyer, was built like a tank. Vance covered his back, and Stratski flew up beside him. Renk and Helm provided fire from the back, covering Vance and Stratski respectively. Standard formation.

"Advance!" Renk shouted.

The five advanced on the enemy gear, staying in their flying pattern.

"Got him in your sights, Broyer?" Renk called.

No answer.

"Broyer!" Renk shouted, indignant.

With a huge gasp of air, Broyer's voice came over the comm.

"Got 'im, Sergeant!" he replied, his tone several notes deeper than normal.

Vance knew what had happened. Due to his size, it normally took a couple minutes for the Drive to hit Broyer. Aside from deepening, his voice had also lost any of its normal jovial tone and resonated an uncharacteristic coldness. That was normal. His demeanour and the severity was usually directly affected by the mood he was in before taking it. Considering he had just been reprimanded, chances were good that he would be particularly foul.

Broyer led them toward the red gear, but was quickly blocked by another Solaris gear, shaped like a large dog.

"Hey you! Out of our way!" Broyer growled.

"Hmph! You're awfully rude! Hey, aren't you guys the Special Forces platoon B? I order you to stop and let the Commander handle this! It's what he wants!"

"I can weaken his armour. Out of the way, wench!"

"Wench? Hey, you guys are under my command! Don't call me that! Which one are you? You're in trouble, mister!"

"Lieutenant," Vance spoke over the comm, stepping in before Finn could continue destroying his relationship. "Never mind him. Broyer's not himself!"

"Damn right I'm myself, Nye! Don't be stupid!"

"F - Finny?" the female voice said.

"Don't call me 'Finny', wench!"

"Broyer!" Renk called out. "We have our orders. Stop being an ass and let the Commander step in! You're already on my shit list. Don't drop any further on it!"

"Seraphita..." came a calm, female voice. "Come and stand guard by the Commander. We have to protect him."

"Finny...why?"

"Sera, don't let them just sit there wasting the airspace! I told you that guy isn't worth it! This is more important now!" said another terse female voice. For a minute, something about it stirred in Vance. It was very familiar. But then he disregarded the thought and supposed it was just the communicator making the voice sound similar.

"Oh, um...oh, yeah! Hey, Special Forces! Guard our backs. Step in only if the Commander can't fight anymore! Stay in your formation!"

"Those are your orders!" Renk said. "Stay at the Elements' backs. Especially you, Broyer! No more damn lip! Just follow orders!"

Vance looked over the battlefield. In front of his fellow Special Forces gears, the four Elements lined the sky in a near-straight line, like a shield. Their gears were shaped like animals and birds - except one, a clear odd-man-out among the other three. The one shaped as a giant fish of some kind was slightly ahead of the others. That was probably the Element of Water - Vance thought her name was Kelvena or something like that. She was the leader, supposedly. Vance had never met her before. The dog had been established as belonging to their Lieutenant, Seraphita. For the life of him, Vance didn't know the other two. Not that it mattered. Way ahead of them, at the front of the gathering was Commander Ramsus' glittering gold gear, the Wyvern. Vance admitted he had always been impressed with the Commander's machine and he found himself mesmerized by it.

Despite all he had gone through in Solaris, Vance held a high level of respect for Kahran Ramsus. In fact, the Commander was the main reason Vance had gotten as good a life as he had. For that reason, and for the safety of his platoon, Vance decided to give it his all to help.

The explosions had stopped, and the enemy red gear stood before the line of Solaris' elite forces. It didn't seem to be much larger than any of the others, and really didn't look like anything special. But it was clear it had taken very little damage during its reign of destruction over Etrenank. That alone stood out in Vance's head as odd.

"Oh? Well, now...this is amusing..." came the almost deadpan voice of the red gear's pilot. It was coming through the open channel, so it clearly wasn't one of their own voices. Hearing it, Vance felt a bit of a chill overcome him.

"Huh..." came the enemy gear pilot's voice again. "I don't have time to deal with the likes of all of you..."

A golden glow surrounded the gear as it appeared to be gathering some kind of energy.

Vance sensed there was something really wrong with the situation, and apparently Renk did, also.

"Pull back, men! He's gonna go ballistic!"

Renk flew off and his troops followed.

They heard the explosion as several other regular gear troops were blown into bits behind them.

"Whoa...that was close..." Stratski said. "He's really strong. What now?"

"We have to follow Commander Ramsus' orders. We'll stay back here and see how the Commander does. If he runs into trouble, be ready to step in. But if that gear heads for the capital again, protect it all costs, Commander's orders or no."

Commander-in-chief Ramsus' gear engaged the red gear, wobbling slightly from the force of the previous explosion.

"Commander, step back...your gear is damaged!" a woman's voice, likely one of the Elements, spoke with obvious concern in her voice.

"No! I can - still fight..."

"Heh heh heh..." came a low-tone chuckle from the red gear. "This one's got nerve...but I like it. Didn't I already rip your arms off once before? Want me to do it again?"

"You...because of you..."

Ramsus' gear attacked the enemy, sending a white-hot beam of energy towards it. There was a blinding flash of light, and it appeared like the crimson machine had been knocked back. But as the normal sunlight returned, the enemy still stood in his place with the same cocky stance, as if he hadn't been damaged at all.

"Is that all you have? You're going to have to do better than that..."

Ramsus tossed another ray at it, but nothing seemed to penetrate the gear's defences.

"Why...won't you fall..? Dammit!" Ramsus shouted.

The Special Forces watched and listened from a careful distance off.

"Whoa...that's some gear...it's invincible!" Stratski said. "I've seen beams like the Commander's rip battleships apart!"

"If Ramsus' gear can't dent it, there's not much we're gonna be able to do," Vance said.

"Vance, stop doubting and keep your damn eye on that gear. We have to do whatever the hell we can. It's our duty to Gebler and the country."

Vance thought,_ Huh! Duty...I'd feel a sense of duty if I felt any loyalty to this country. The only thing which keeps me fighting here is fear. But I know why Renk is so adamant about it. He has the most to lose. His wife and Danie. I hope we won't have to find out what will happen to Renk if he loses them. They are his life._

The enemy gear put its metal hand on its waist. "Hmph. This is just wasting my time. Take this!"

He blasted the main firing line. There was a man's scream, then a woman's.

Vance saw that Ramsus' gear was immobilized, and another of the gears surrounding him was spinning out of control.

"Commander!" came the female voice from earlier.

"Sera!" came another one.

Vance realized it was their Lieutenant's gear. He glanced over at Aegisknight, which visibly twitched. Even though Finn wasn't speaking, Vance wondered if an inkling of feeling had leaked into him, regardless. It was possible, before hearing her name, that Finn hadn't realized it was Seraphita in the gear when he had been a jerk.

"I can't stabilize...!" came her chipper voice, sounding distressed, but strangely controlled. "Oh, no! I'm on fire! AIEEE!"

Before Vance could think on it further, Aegisknight had taken off towards her. He heard Renk swear and demand Finn return, but he clearly wasn't listening.

A flying gear from Gebler's Air Force swooped down and took the Lieutenant's gear in its talons before Broyer could reach her. It circled once, and then flew away from the battlefield.

"Sera..." he whispered over the intercom, the first verbal indications of the Drive's loss of power. It was amazing how some guys could so easily snap out of it if put in a spot.

With the Commander and his personal guard out of commission, the red gear continued its advance toward Etrenank.

"Follow it! Stop it!" Renk said, his voice clearly losing some of its nerve.

Vance thought, _Dammit! This is stupid! Why do we all have to fight like this? This is suicide!_

_But isn't that what you wanted?_

He shook his head in an attempt to clear his head, but it wouldn't clear.

_I can't purposely do it. I'll risk my chance to see my family again, and I can't do that...I have to have a chance to apologize..._

"He's after the stabilizer!" Renk called out. "Stop him!"

Vance hesitated a second. If the red gear kept attacking Solaris, then it would be no more. He would be free.

Here he was, like a bird with the cage door open, wondering if he should take the chance and fly to freedom.

But then he saw Finn in the distance, hovering in the air, devastated, unable to react. Helm, Stratski and Renk were flying off to engage the red gear. His friends, his only friends, needed him. So he couldn't yet flee.

He flew up to Broyer.

"You okay?"

"Sera..." he whispered.

"I'm sure she's okay. That gear was one of ours. She's probably being taken to get medical attention right now."

"Yeah...I guess you're right..."

"We've got a job to do, right?"

"Yeah...I suppose Sera would be disappointed in me if I gave up now. Alright. Let me at 'im!"

They heard Helm's voice over their com.

"Our orders were to try and slow him down. No more, no less. If it looks like he's not gonna be able to be stopped, then..." Helmholz added.

"Then what?" Broyer asked.

"Then we might have to retreat. We shouldn't get ourselves killed by this thing. It would be suicide."

"Your Drive wearin' off, Helm? Get a grip on yourself and just stay with us!" Renk called out.

There was a loud explosion. The red gear made a sudden motion for one of the side panels. It flew clear through it in a blaze of golden fire, then headed for the next one.

"NO!" Renk exclaimed.

A chain of small explosions rocked the side panel, breaking it into several pieces that slowly began to plummet to the ground. The red gear flew on to attack another portion of the city.

"Whoa! He's still in one piece after THAT!" Stratski exclaimed.

"This battle is over, Renk. He's much too strong!" Helm added.

"You guys might not care either way what happens, but I've got Ayra and Danie to think about. If you all don't want to fight anymore, just get the hell out of my way. You're useless to me! I have to protect Etrenank even if you assholes don't want to! I'm going!"

"There's no guarantee either of them are even still inside. It's possible they got some people out before the red gear tore up the place! I saw people in my block heading for the evacuation dock so it's possible they led more people in the residential areas to safety, too. You don't have to do this, Renk!" Stratski said.

"I don't care! If there's even a chance they could be in danger, I have to try!"

"No! Renk, it's suicide!" Vance exclaimed.

"If that's what it takes!"

Vance paused and thought about it. Renk had been like a father to him at times. If he were to go down, he would lose someone incredibly important to him. Vance vowed at that moment not to ever let that happen again. Despite his urge to leave, he couldn't abandon Renk because of all he had done for him. Besides - life or death... he would take whatever scenario came.

"I'm going with you..."

"Me, too!" Finn said.

"Vic?" Stratski asked, addressing Helm.

Helmholz sighed. "I'm in...for all the good it will do."

"Yeah, me too. You guys all be careful, okay?" Stratski spoke, obvious worry in his voice.

Renk and the others pulled quickly into formation and headed to stop the gear. In the brief moment they had hesitated, the gear had destroyed most of the city's panels, approximately 80 percent of the Solaris capital. It began to sag weakly in the sky, only being held up by the centre stabilizer, which was clearly the red gear's next target.

"Try to corner him... E Formation," Renk spoke up. "It's the only thing close to giving us a chance."

"Roger that."

They flew in formation and tried to block off the assault. But the gear merely ignored their presence and flew right through Stratski's Swordknight, ripping its legs off, and then Victor's Wandknight, taking an arm and setting it on fire.

"Stratski! Helm!" Renk exclaimed. "Are you both alright?"

Static was the only response from Swordknight - eerie and otherwise silent. The gear began to slowly descend, leaving a trail of black smoke behind it.

Helm cleared his throat, as if he had a sudden lump in it. "Wandknight still seems stable. I've only lost an arm, but it was my gun arm."

Vance heard the alarm bells interrupt Helm's report, squealing a warning to all that Wandknight was not as fine as Helm had reported.

"Never mind...it seems I'm going to...AAAAH!"

The fire erupted into an explosion, blowing parts of Helm's Wandknight across the battlefield. It had blown a good portion of the gear's remaining limbs away, but the cockpit still looked relatively intact. But the force of the explosion would certainly have had some effects on the pilot, even with the high-tech safety reinforcements installed in all Gebler-built gears.

"Helm!" Renk called out, but there was no response, not even static.

What remained of Helm's Wandknight also began plummeting to the surface, faster than Swordknight, which seemed to be drifting down at a much slower pace. Vance supposed the gravity-regulating machines on Swordknight hadn't been damaged, which would be possible even if the pilot was out of commission.

"This is bad," Broyer spoke, stating the obvious.

"You two go...you can't be much good here. You'll only get killed," Renk said. "I'll take this gear on myself! Why don't you come and get a piece of me, huh?"

"Renk, did you just see what happened? He's just too strong!" Vance said. "We should retreat! We've already lost Helm and Stratski!"

"I don't care! I have to protect Etrenank! I can't let him destroy it! I'll take more Drive, and that'll even the score!"

"No!" Vance spoke up. "Don't take any more of that stuff, okay? Remember what you told me! It'll waste your mind!"

"I've gotta take that chance! Ayra...Danie...We have no more time to argue about it!"

"It could be like Stratski said - they might be safe! Then you'll have died for nothing!" Vance said. "What would Danie do if she lost her father, Renk? Are you going to leave those two all alone?"

For a moment, Renk halted his gear.

"You can't give up hope, Renk. We've gotta all believe they're okay. Let's just get out of here before he kills the rest of us!" Broyer spoke.

Another loud explosion ripped through the air. The gear had spiralled around the main stabilizer, which had detonated the controls, throwing fire into the only remaining part of the capital, the main square. A piece of the broken city loosened and broke off, crashing into the weakened centre. Etrenank tilted and quickly plummeted towards the earth.

The three pilots drifted silently for a moment, collectively knowing that their home was lost.

"It's over... It's over..." Broyer whispered over the com.

"We've gotta get out of here...the shock wave of the crash could blow us to bits!" Vance said.

The trio turned to flee, knowing that staying a moment longer would mean death for all of them.

"We'll meet everyone else back at the rendezvous point in the desert, 11W-20N. The main battleship should arrive to pick to us up from there at sunset," Renk said. "The escape shuttles should regroup there, too. Then...then I'll find out..."

"Ya gotta hold onto that hope, Renk. I know I'm gonna," Broyer spoke. "I've gotta believe it, too..."

"...Thanks, Finn."

"Let's go," Vance said. For the time being, he would stay with his comrades until he was certain they would be fine. But who knew if he would have the opportunity to escape? Was fate just teasing him, dangling freedom before his face to mock him, knowing it was still something he would never be able to have?

* * *

The thin sliver of shadow cast over the remains of Wandknight and Swordknight in the early morning desert sun.

Knute Stratski gently lifted Helm's head and placed the blanket from his emergency pack underneath.

"Is that a bit better, Vic?"

"A little," Helm spoke quietly, then closed his eyes. "Dizziness hasn't stopped. But it's a bit better."

"Good."

If it gets too bad, just keep your eyes closed. But keep talking, Vic. Don't fall asleep. You've really whacked your head and the worst thing you can do before you get checked out is go to sleep."

"I know... I got the first aid training too, you know..."

"Yeah, but I'm the one who's in a condition to think about it."

"Yeah, I guess..."

Knute pulled out an instant cold pack and broke the tiny bag inside. He placed it on Victor's forehead.

"That's too cold..."

"Yeah...but it's all I've got. Don't resist me on this. I'm going to do the best I can for you before getting you to a real doctor."

"It...does feel a bit better."

"Mmm..." Knute said. He hated seeing his friend injured. He was the one who was accident prone, and he was far more used to being on the receiving end of such things.

"I know this isn't the rendezvous point. But I'll put a signal flare out, and hopefully they'll see us. They're bound to fly over this spot. Then you can get checked out and nursed back to health."

"No," Victor said. "I'm not going back to Solaris. Fate gave us this chance to get away. So I'm taking it."

"But Vic, you need to see a doctor. And soon. You know that."

"My injuries are minor. I'm not going to die."

"Damn it! Vic, down here like this your wounds could get infected! And that _is_ dangerous! And head injuries can become bad news really fast. You know that."

Victor didn't look up at Knute for a minute.

"My GPS is in my bag. Tell me where the closest town is. If we can make it there, then there's bound to be a doctor."

"I don't know how to use that thing. You know that."

"Then hold it up so I can see it, and I'll step you through it."

Knute sighed and rifled around in Victor's bag. He eventually pulled out a palm-sized device.

"This is it, right?"

"Yeah. Let me see it."

Knute turned it towards his friend, who weakly lifted his left hand and pressed a button on it. The buttons lit up and the device hummed lightly, but didn't do anything else.

"No reception. I guess...I guess Etrenank..."

Knute sighed. "I wonder if the others made it."

"They'll eventually find us, if they did. So that's why we have to get moving quickly. They'll make us...they'll make us go back..."

"Yeah...but we're stuck out here in the middle of nowhere. Swordknight isn't in any condition to get us anywhere. I used the last bit of her power making sure you didn't crash hard and getting us as far onto dry land as I could. I was still a little slower than I'd have liked."

"Never mind that. I'm alive, aren't I? Anyway... Knute...walk over to the top of that small dune there...take a look in the distance. Let me know if you see anything. I - I'm...not sure, but...I thought I saw...a town close to where we crashed. But...considering I've hit my head...I don't know for sure..."

"Well...if you say so, Vic..."

"Don't fall down the hill..."

"Geez, Vic...I'll be careful." _Especially since you need me right now..._

Knute rose and stepped out into the sunlight, the sand quickly filling his boots as they sank deep into the dune. He stepped carefully and slowly made it up to the top. He glanced out to the distance, seeing that his friend's hunch had been correct - there was a small settlement of some sort. He rushed back to his friend.

"There IS a town there, Vic. Good going!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Hard for me to judge how long it will take us to get there, but...for now it's something. Better than staying out here in the middle of nowhere. We're almost out of water and the sun's getting pretty high in the sky."

"I hope this isn't just an illusion. What do they call those things again?"

"Mirages? I think? But no, I'm pretty sure it's real. Regardless, we're in trouble if we stay here. Especially since you're too stubborn to swallow your pride and wait for Solaris to pick us up."

"If we go back, we'll only regret it. Besides...that would be assuming they would even pick us up in time. If at all. At the least - it will give us more time to think about it."

Knute bent down and gathered his belongings, and stuffed a couple scattered things of Victor's into his own bag. He then placed his arm around his friend's shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to help you get to that town. Do you think you can get up at all?"

"I - I'll try...but Knute...you're kind of short and small..."

"Forget about that. I can do it."

"Knute..."

"Since I'm the only one who is currently able-bodied, then it's my job to get you to the doctor. You sure as hell can't do it yourself, right?"

Victor sighed. "Yes. But...I'm heavy."

"Let me worry about that. You just lean on me."

Victor grit his teeth and groaned quietly when Knute rose with both of them. Knute tried to pretend that he didn't notice his friend's pain. He quietly noted that he would have to go slowly as to not hurt or aggravate Victor's injuries more than necessary.

Helmholz was just over six feet tall. Next to Stratski, who stood just a hair over 5'1" in boots, the weight difference was obvious. "Ooof...hrm...okay..."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"You're...my best friend, Vic... and I'm not just going to abandon you out here. One step at a time. We'll make it. We will..."

Victor sighed again. "Nobody can fault you for your determination, Knute. It's admirable."

"Enough flattery. Just save your strength. I just hope I don't hurt you any more."

"I'll be fine. Don't...worry about me..."

Knute looked towards the dune in the distance. He shrugged off the heft of his friend on his shoulder and took the first step forward.

* * *

The remaining three members of Special Forces Platoon B arrived at the designated rendezvous point hours later to discover they were the only three waiting.

"No Helm or Stratski..." Vance said aloud.

"You don't think they're...dead? Do ya?"

Vance shrugged.

"They both took pretty massive damage," Renk said.

"Yeah, but...our cockpits are fortified, right? So that if we have a crash, we have a better chance of surviving the impact."

"They're not invincible, though...and...I dunno..."

"It's a pretty steep plunge from Etrenank space to here...I guess."

"Etrenank..." Renk spoke with a sigh. Vance had forgotten and regretted bringing it up when he saw his leader slump down on the foot of his gear. "First Etrenank, and now Helm and Stratski..."

Vance didn't want to say it, but he knew Renk's mind was also noting the lack of evacuation vessels. But there was another rendezvous point on Aquvy and perhaps they had gone there or liaised directly with the main battleship before even getting to the surface. As much as Vance knew that probably wasn't the case. But he wasn't going to say anything more and make things worse.

Silently, the three sat by the foot of their gears, not saying anything. It would still be many hours before sunset, and there was little more to do but wait.

Vance looked up at Clawknight. She had taken some damage that he hadn't noticed until attempting to fly her the distance to the rendezvous point. She would probably need considerable repair, if she was even worth it at all.

His hands twitched. He felt compelled to assess the damage himself.

_No. You aren't allowed to touch her. You're only allowed to fly her._

_But aren't you leaving Solaris? Their laws and decrees no longer apply. They don't matter anymore. Not like their indoctrination ever worked on you, anyway._

Renk was asleep. Finn was looking at his nails, and drawing lines in the sand absently, his mind clearly elsewhere.

Vance slowly stood, smiling slightly. Of course he could. He could do whatever he wanted. And it had been so long...

"What are you doin', Vance?"

"Getting to know Clawknight a little better. I'll be right back."

"But she's kinda broken, isn't she?"

Vance smiled wider. "Exactly! Say, Broyer...do you have tools in your emergency pack? I...they didn't give me any."

_They refused me, I mean. But you don't need to know that..._

"Uh...sure?" Broyer reached into his own. "But they're only tune-up tools for emergency repairs."

"Oh, don't worry. They'll work fine. I'm good at improvising." Vance took them from Broyer and turned back to his gear.

He used his lift to reach the height of the cockpit, then crawled his way up to her head, where the access panel was.

Oh, the smell of the oil and the grease...it had been so long since he had been able to use the technical skills he had inherited from his father, who had spent his life building gears for the Ethos factory and later, for Solaris. It was in the Nye blood, and looking inside his gear was like going back to better times.

As he glanced inside, he realized the damage didn't seem as bad as he had thought. She would need structural repairs, but the electronics were still pretty intact. Well... they were. What would he need her for anymore, anyway?

_Let's see... I'll take this...and this...and this... Oh, yeah, I could certainly find a use for this thing... Hmm...you never know. Spare wire is always a necessity..._

The time flew by as Vance commandeered parts from his beloved gear. He had never felt so free.

Vance looked down at his travelling bag, which was now packed full of small components he had taken for himself. He considered taking even more, but he had to consider the size of his bag, and his ability to travel with them all at his side. So he had to stop himself far short of completely stripping the gear's innards to nothing. With them, he hoped to create new and better things. It was just up to his imagination from then on in. He whistled a moment in satisfaction, and went back down to the surface.

The mood was far more sombre back down in the reality of the lonely rendezvous, and Vance was once again reminded where he was.

Finn had called up a couple times, asking if he had needed any help 'fixing' Clawknight. Vance had declined, not wanting to reveal his true intentions. Finn was an innocent soul, but he had no hatred for Solaris and Vance couldn't risk Finn letting anything slip. He would have a hard enough time explaining how much bigger and heavier his travelling bag was, but he chose to worry about it if the problem arose. He needn't have worried.

Finn had fallen asleep, leaning back on the second foot of Renk's Wandknight. Vance wasn't sure when Finn had moved, or exactly how much time had passed since he had crawled up Clawknight, but he guessed it had been at least a couple hours.

Renk, however, was wide awake, staring right at Vance as he stood by Clawknight's feet.

"Did you have fun up there?" he asked, his tone accusatory, as if he somehow knew. Even worse that Renk knew. As his superior officer, it was his duty to discipline and report to the higher powers.

Vance didn't know how to respond. Renk had probably also read Vance's case file, or at least the parts that weren't classified.

"Aren't you forbidden from touching electronics?" Renk asked.

This wasn't the Renk he knew, but not quite the one on Drive. He was clearly agitated with him, but not quite as cruel as he would be when full of the enhancement drug. He was probably close to coming down. Unfortunately, not quite enough.

Vance wasn't quite sure how to respond. He decided it was best not to lie.

"Yes, sir."

"Then why were you up there, tinkering with Clawknight?"

"It's an emergency situation. She's broken. I was seeing if there was anything I could do..."

"Bullshit," Renk said, as if seeing right through him. "What's all that in your bag?"

"Nothing," Vance said, but knew it was pointless.

Renk grabbed it from him and looked inside.

"You're insane. You know you're going to be in a lot of heat for this."

"I know...sir."

Renk sighed and gave it back to him. "I'm not going to be able to pretend I didn't see this, you know."

"I know...sir."

Renk sighed, raising his hands over his head in frustration. "Look, I don't understand why you're forbidden from it. Your file doesn't say that much. But I do know that the order is level A, and goes far beyond Gebler. Almost as high as the Emperor."

"I know...sir."

"Then what the hell are you doing? Huh? Not only are you disobeying a level A, you're stealing from Gebler. You're asking for a trip to the Soylent for it."

"I don't care anymore," Vance responded quite plainly.

Renk raised his arms in frustration again, turning his back with a sigh. He walked away, shaking his head, and sat himself before Wandknight's foot again, saying nothing more.

That was it. No more reprimand. No more words. Silence fell over the rendezvous again.

Vance walked over to the other two quietly, and set himself before them.

Finn was awake again, trying to pretend that he hadn't heard anything, though it was clear he had from his awkward expression.

"You okay?" he asked Vance quietly, genuine concern in tone.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Why're you forbidden? A level A? That's kinda serious, isn't it?"

"Broyer..." Renk reproached. Finn backed off, then leaned back again, looking up at the sky.

Vance looked at Renk, not quite sure how to bring up the topic.

"What?" Renk snapped, obviously irritated by the glances.

For a moment, Vance fought with the words, not sure how Renk would react. But it had to be said. He had to tell him his plan. There was no point in hiding it.

"I'm not going back," he said, trying to add extra confidence to his words. Whether it worked or not, Vance didn't know or think about.

Renk was silent for a moment, then sighed. He didn't seem shocked or angry. He just looked up at Vance with soft, yet despairing eyes. "For some reason, I'm not surprised, considering what you just said. Are you sure?"

"Yes," Vance spoke right away. There was little he could be sure of at that moment, but that decision he knew he didn't doubt.

"It could be dangerous if they catch you. Especially now."

"Um...not...if they think I'm dead...Sergeant."

"You expect me to lie for you?"

"Not if you don't want to...sir."

"What the hell is with the 'sir' thing? It's Renk."

Renk looked at his feet, but didn't say anything for a long while. That was probably a 'no', then. Vance knew it was a lot to ask, but...

"Never mind. It's okay. You don't have to. I'll stay in places where they won't be able to find me and take my chances."

"No, no. I'll do it, kid. It's the least I can do for ya, Vance...considering."

"Considering what?"

"Nothing. Misspoke, that's all."

"Oh, okay."

"But there's one thing you've gotta promise me. Stay alive and live well. You hear me?"

Vance nodded. "I'll try, sir."

"Good. And like I said, stop with the 'sir', okay? It sounds dumb coming from you, Vance. Formalities are more Helm's style."

"Okay...Renk. And...thanks..."

Renk merely nodded, then went back to sitting silently, his mind clearly on other things.

Finn spoke up, but his voice remained quiet. "Uh, Renk...about earlier...me and Sera...well...you know...I'm...sorry. I really am. I know I've gotta end it, but it...It's just...I love her so much...and I didn't get up the nerve ta..."

"Forget it, Finn. I understand."

"Say, Renk, uh... If I were to leave Solaris, could I be with Sera? I mean, assumin' somehow she left, too?"

"I...guess so, Finn..." Renk replied.

Finn beamed slightly. "Okay. Then all I've gotta do is leave, then find her, then convince her to leave Solaris, too."

"Are you sure you want to risk your life for this girl?"

"She's worth it, Renk. I'd do anything for her. Well...almost everything. Riskin' my life's no big deal. 'Cause without her, I've got nothin'."

Vance wanted to tell Finn about how he had spoken to Seraphita during the battle, but decided it was better to keep it to himself for the time being.

"So okay, it's decided. I'm gonna go back and see if they got anyone out of Etrenank before ahem and you two are going to stay here together on the surface. I stand behind you guys because, well, I know your hearts are into doing it. I'll do my best to convince them you're dead. So when the battleship comes, you two hide, okay?"

"Thanks, Renk. You're a pal, ya know?"

Vance nodded in agreement.

"All you guys have got to promise to do is make somethin' good of your lives, okay? Something that makes ya happy."

Vance and Finn nodded lightly.

"I...hope your family is safe, Renk," Finn said quietly. "Tell Ayra I'll miss her and her cooking. And that I've got her ariberry pie recipe memorized by heart. I won't ever forget. Uh uh."

Renk nodded. "That will make her happy, Finn. It really will. I'll tell her."

_They're both in denial, _Vance thought. _Nobody could have possibly survived that blast, and I didn't see any escape shuttles, despite what Stratski said. They would have come here to the rendezvous, had they made it to the surface. But I guess Renk is just going to have to find out for himself._

_I can't help feeling bad about abandoning him and making him lie for me. But this is my chance to get away. It's the only way I can live. Otherwise, I might as well end it right here._

"There's a town about a day's walk away almost directly to the east," Renk said, pulling out a small map. "It's the closest one out here in this desert. If you tried to make it anywhere else, you'd probably run out of water or supplies. If you stay here you won't last long, either. At least there you can figure out where to go from there. Any ideas?"

"I'm from Bledavik," Vance said. "But...I don't have any more reason to go back. Nobody remembers me and I have no more family. The town to the east is probably Dazil. They're excavators, for the most part. They get lots of foreigners there, so we probably won't stand out too much. Sounds like a good bet for now, right Broyer?"

Broyer shrugged. "As long as the place isn't too dirty, I'm good with it."

"Then we'll head to Dazil. I think I have a compass in my bag."

"A compass? That's ancient and completely not Solaris technology at work."

"I - found it in Bledavik. I'm not completely sure, but I think it belonged to someone I knew a long time ago. So I had to buy it."

"An old friend?"

Vance remembered a moment, hearing the voice of his father in a much younger time.

_Despite the growth of machines and technology and how much easier they make our lives - always remember this, son. Sometimes the simplest, oldest of things don't need any improvement at all._

Vance shook the thought off and continued as if the question had never been asked.

"When night falls, we'll head directly east, and hope we don't get too far off course."

Renk shrugged, then nodded. "I'm rooting for you guys. You might be the only two I've got left." He sighed. "Helm... Stratski... At least they went together. I just can't see one without the other."

"I'll miss 'em, too," Finn spoke.

Vance merely nodded in agreement. He had to admit that he didn't know them all that well. With the exception of Renk, and very occasionally Broyer, Vance had always felt distanced from others. He understood why all too well. He'd spent a good portion of his time with the Special Forces on Drive and the few times they had been together, they had avoided him. Probably because of how he acted when he was high. Besides, those two had a lot of in-jokes he had never been privy to, mostly stemming from their time in Jugend. Vance had never gone to the exclusive school, so didn't even have that experience in common.

Soon, a shadow fell over the rendezvous point. Gebler's giant battleship had arrived to retrieve them early. It was still about an hour before sunset. Vance and Broyer hid in the shadows of the rocks while Renk stepped out into the desert with a signal flare.

Vance watched as it slowly lowered and a boarding ramp came down to allow Renk to board. A crane also lowered and claimed Renk's Wandknight. After that was done, the crane came back and hovered over Clawknight and Aegisknight. For a moment Vance's heart beat quickly. He hadn't expected they'd want them back, considering the damage. But of course it made perfect sense - Solaris didn't want to waste parts. If they realized Clawknight had been tampered with, he and Finn were in danger, but Renk more so. It he was caught in his lie about them being dead...

Vance wanted to call out and warn him, but the loading ramp was closing quickly and Renk fell out of sight.

For a moment Vance considered surrendering, but then he heard Renk's voice telling him to go and make something of his life and stopped himself.

_Renk...please be careful... _he thought as the battleship lifted into the sky and slowly flew off. Vance watched after it as the shadow left the rendezvous point, leaving he and Broyer alone among the rock outcrop in the middle of the desert.

"Hey, from here on in, things are going to be very different, eh Vance?" Broyer spoke, cutting through the silence. "No Renk, no Helm, no Stratski... Just you 'n me. That's if ya want ta travel with me for awhile. I mean, I know we're going to Dazil together, but from there, I mean."

Vance tipped his head slightly, curious of Broyer's words. He wanted him around?

"Are you sure?"

Broyer beamed. "Sure! When you're not on Drive, you're a good kid. And you're not on it now, that's for sure. You're much too quiet and nice."

Renk had implied the same thing. How long had he wasted his time trying to hide from the nightmares?

"Thanks, Broyer."

Broyer tapped Vance on the shoulder, perhaps a bit rougher than Vance was expecting, or the big man was likely intending, but there was warmth behind it.

"How many times do I hafta tell youse guys? Call me Finn, okay?"

"Sure, Finn. No problem."

Finn nodded. "Good. Now shouldn't we go soon? It's gettin' kinda late."

* * *

Renk looked around the giant hangar where Gebler officers and soldiers buzzed around, paying no heed to his presence. The expressions on most faces indicated that they were shaken, but going about their jobs in an attempt to forget. He didn't like the atmosphere at all.

"Sergeant Elcide, sir..." a young voice said, drawing attention to the other soldier in the room, standing before him.

"Corporal Kinney," Renk nodded. Kinney had been a candidate for the Special Forces at once time, and Renk had flown missions with him before being promoted to second class. Kinney was older than he looked, but was still relatively young.

So good to see you alive, sir. You're one of the only survivors left from all the gear units. How are your men?"

Renk looked to the floor. No point in looking right at Kinney and being caught in a lie. "They're dead. Every last one of them. I was lucky to make it out myself."

"I'm sorry to hear about your men, sir. Really, very sorry."

"That's the way it is. It's part of being a soldier. We have to expect it to happen." Even though that was a lie. Every time Renk had lost one of his men, it had weathered him. He thought briefly about Helmholz and Stratski and sighed.

"Very true, sir," Kinney said, seemingly oblivious to Renk's sadness. But it was best to try and change the subject.

"So what's going on now?"

"Hmmm... Well, Commander Ramsus and his personal elite guards The Elements are all missing in action. In the interim, Gebler's put Major Vanderkaum as Acting Commander. But rumour has it that Krelian's got his hand in the operations behind the scenes. Him and that woman who is always around Commander Ramsus. Miang, I think her name is. Regardless, Vanderkaum is more a puppet of those two than anything else. That's what everyone is saying, anyway."

"Why Vanderkaum?"

"Dunno. Nobody's pleased about it, believe me."

Renk stepped in time with Kinney for a few more seconds before he dared to ask, "Were there any survivors from Etrenank?"

"Emperor Cain. And like I said, Krelian...and that woman Miang came a bit later. Other than that, we don't think so. Considering the level of destruction, fires and altitude of the fall, there are no expectations of survivors, much less in the way of remains of the dead."

That was not what Renk had hoped to hear. But everything was still being spoken about in expectations and supposeds. No definites. Until there were definites...

"They've combed the ruins relatively thoroughly - whatever actually landed on land, that is, which wasn't much. Whatever few personal effects they're finding they're putting in the meeting hall. You...had a family in Etrenank, didn't you, Sergeant?"

Renk nodded.

"Then...maybe you should go. You never know."

Renk nodded. He wasn't sure if he did or didn't want to find something. But he decided it would be better to go. Perhaps the people there would have more answers than Kinney did.

"Thanks, Kinney. I'm going."

Kinney placed a gentle hand on Renk's shoulder. "If there's anything you need...just ask."

Renk nodded, but couldn't speak. His throat felt very dry, and his hands shook. The bad feeling he'd pushed aside in favour of a small shred of hope was exposing itself again, threatening to consume him and his nerve.

"Are you family of one of the lost?" a female Gebler soldier asked as he entered the meeting hall.

He nodded. "I'm...looking for Ayra and Danie Elcide. Any word?"

"What shelter did they evacuate to?" the soldier asked.

"Six. It was closest to our apartment."

"Shelter six...completely destroyed. I regret to tell you that it is absolutely impossible for anyone in shelters six, seven or eight to have survived. They were dead before the battle was even over, I'm afraid. The ruins fell partly into the sea, and we've salvaged some items from there as best as we can. If you'd...like to view them, then please follow me."

The soldier's words became a blur. It couldn't. It just couldn't be true...

"Are you sure that everyone..." He stopped himself before completing the sentence. He couldn't say it.

"Yes. We're positive. I'm sorry. Were they...?"

The solider paused, and Renk's eyes grew misty. No hope. There really was no hope after all. They were gone. He'd failed to protect them.

"You...were one of the pilots trying to protect the capital, weren't you?"

He nodded, but it was more instinct than something he put his mind to thinking about. How could he possibly think about that when...

"Thank you," the Gebler soldier said. "Thank you for trying. I don't think anything could have stopped that gear. It was impossibly strong from what I hear."

Again he nodded, barely hearing what she was saying.

"I had family in Etrenank. Most of us on this ship had someone, even Vanderkaum. The only reason we survived was because we were stationed here on this battleship. Otherwise we... So even though you weren't successful, thank you."

Again, Renk merely nodded, yet said nothing.

The meeting hall seemed huge as they walked by the effects of others. He scanned them quickly for anything he might recognize. Nothing.

"Please thank your men, too."

"I'm the only survivor. I'm...alone now," he said, not even realizing he had said it.

"I - see. I'm sorry. Er...well... these are the few items we gathered from the areas of panels six, seven and eight. I'm afraid there really isn't much."

Renk surveyed the items quietly. Nothing stood out immediately ... but...

Almost hidden beneath a pile of others items, he saw a dusting of white fabric. He reached forward and pulled on it to reveal something very familiar.

_"Can I take Mr. Bear?"_ he heard Danie say in his mind as he beheld the tattered toy. It had been made for Danie at her birth by her aunt, Ayra's sister, using scraps of cloth she had been able to gather in the Worker Bee camps when they were all still third class. There was no other bear just like it. It had been loved almost to death, repaired many times by Ayra's gentle hands.

Mr. Bear's left arm was now black and charred and he was soaking wet from floating in the ocean.

Renk stared for a short moment, trying to come to grips with his realization that this truly was the end. They had been in Shelter six, as planned. Died in Shelter six, as predicted.

Ayra...Danie...his beloved family...were no more.

The tears came to his eyes relentlessly and he held Mr. Bear absently, ignoring the fact that the toy was leaving a wet mark on his uniform. What did it matter now?

The female soldier whispered, "Your daughter..."

Renk nodded. "She was...only six...years old...only..."

His pain was interrupted by a curt voice. "Sergeant Elcide, sir!"

Renk looked up into the face of a young soldier, who looked eager and anxious.

"What?" he spoke, trying not to snap, but not being able to stop himself.

"Commander Vanderkaum is summoning you, sir! Immediately! In the gear dock! He wants your report!"

"Is is necessary to shout?" the female solider asked. "And can't that wait just awhile longer? Sergeant Elcide is..."

"Major Vanderkaum stressed the urgency! The orders were given!"

Renk stood up straight and wiped his eyes, trying to regain his composure. If there was one person he could not lose his composure in front of, it was Vanderkaum.

As Renk walked from the meeting hall across the ship to the barracks and nearby gear dock, he tried to push back his grief. He had to be professional. After quickly dropping off Mr. Bear in his assigned quarters, he took the final steps to the gear dock.

Vanderkaum stood at the far end, surrounded by lower-ranked guards who waited on-point. The gear dock was a bustling place, filled with even more soldiers who had no interest or stock in the meeting that would take place.

"Elcide...your report..."

"Heavy casualties. Corporals Helmholz and Stratski suffered major damage and lost communications with us. The last we saw, they were both rapidly plummeting to the surface, and I suppose they're dead. Corporals Nye and Broyer got separated from me in the battle, and while their gears made it to the surface, the two had both perished on the descent. I buried them at the rendezvous point out of respect. I'm the only survivor from my unit."

"Really? Is that so?"

"Yes, sir."

"Interesting," Vanderkaum said. "Do you know about the inner workings of gears?"

"I...I'm afraid I don't."

"Then why is it, Sergeant Elcide, that the engine in the gear Clawknight was completely dismantled and tampered with?"

"It was likely damage from the battle."

"No, this was meticulous. Parts were stripped from it by someone with technical skills. Conveniently, according to personnel files, Corporal Nye and Broyer have both had experience with the technical aspects of gear mechanics..."

"That's impossible," Renk said. "I told you - they're both dead. Maybe it was salvagers. The rendezvous point is within travel distance of the surface town of Dazil."

"No, I don't think so. I think that at least Corporal Nye or Broyer have deserted Gebler and you're covering for them."

Renk wasn't sure what to say in response. He didn't think anything he said would fool them. Vance's tinkering had found them out.

The Major grit his teeth. "As much as I'd like to hunt down your men like the worthless animals they are...and would if it were my choice... I will let them be. We don't have the resources to go after them right now. They're merely insignificant dogs, anyway. Surface-born trash."

Renk balled his hand into a fist, but resisted the urge. His men were _not _trash.

"Hmph. Your men are no big loss. They aren't really that talented, and the world needs fewer gear pilots, anyway. Besides, retrieving them is hardly even worth the effort. Gebler will be better off without the worthless fringe. Heh!"

"Say what you like about me, but do not call my men trash!" Renk replied, interrupting Vanderkaum's laughter. "They gave it their all for this country many times. So don't you dare talk about them like that."

The Major's eyes lit up, as if he'd been waiting for Renk to react. "I will say what I like. After all, I merely speak the truth, don't I? The only redeeming thing I can really say about your men is that they're adequate gear pilots. But since your recent failures, that can be debated." Vanderkaum hit a button on his wrist and a transparent screen emitted from it. The image on it appeared to be a personnel file. "Hmm...let's see what we have here... Finn Broyer, a giant, stupid sissy boy who thinks he can date a first class and have a chance... Vance Nye, a simpering child who needs to be hopped up on Drive all the time just to keep from being such a pathetic wuss... Hmmm. Knute Stratski - a runt. That's all I need to say about it, for it speaks for itself... and Victor Helmholz, a four-eyed fool with a questionable amount of admiration for gears. I don't want to know more about that, honestly, but it is suspect what he might do with them when nobody is looking."

Renk grit his teeth but said nothing, as much as he wanted to step in and defend them. In his current state, he just couldn't think of where to even begin.

"This is what Gebler gets for throwing away the old ways and bringing in those blasted gears. Gear pilots don't have to be physically strong. Not like the old time military men. You had to be strong to lug around a 100 pound cannon on one shoulder! Even stronger to shoot it without falling over! All you need to pilot a gear is to be good at pressing buttons and moving a joystick, like a video game nerd."

Like piloting a gear was easy...like dealing with the Gs and manoeuvring around without getting your ass hit was a walk in the park...

"Have you ever stepped inside a gear?"

The Major looked insulted. "Hell no! I'm not going to soil my hands by doing THAT. Anyway, never mind. Let's discuss you, then. Unlike your men, you're here. So, Elcide, now you're at my mercy." Major Vanderkaum smiled as if he were going to enjoy the part that came next. "For your insubordination and for lying about the status of your men, you're stripped of your rank as Sergeant and will be sent back to third class. When Etrenank is rebuilt, you're going to be on latrine duty, Elcide. And I'll thoroughly enjoy watching you lick the bowls clean with your tongue. I think that's adequate punishment for your indiscretions and questionable veneration for your men."

Renk looked at the floor and thought about it. He had nothing left here. Not Ayra or Danie, or even his status. There was no point to him being here anymore. All he really had left were his men, and they were gone, as well.

Vanderkaum was still laughing mockingly, as if trying to provoke him. As much as Renk knew that he was trying to get to him, he couldn't help but take the bait. He couldn't control the anger anymore. The fury began in his gut and spread through him, blocking his senses and sense of self control.

"Fuck you, Vanderkaum!"

The Major stopped laughing and no longer looked amused.

Renk's anger subsided and he felt dizzy. He couldn't believe he had said it, but he couldn't stop himself. He had been completely lost in the rage. And instantly, he regretted it. He knew he would when he saw the Major's face turn beet red, matching his tattoo.

"IN-SUB-ORD-NATION!" Vanderkaum screeched, so incensed that he could barely speak. "How dare you talk to me like that?"

Renk remained silent, but didn't look at him.

"You LOOK AT ME, ELCIDE!"

Renk decided it was best to listen, despite how little he cared. Something about the way Vanderkaum spoke to him made him feel like a child.

"Perhaps a stint in the brig will fix you!"

"I don't care."

"Oh, you don't CARE, do you? Well, how about reprogramming? HOW DOES THAT SOUND, ELCIDE?"

Reprogramming... As much as that would take away his pain, he remembered the bear - Danie's bear - and couldn't fathom what it would be like to lose all those memories. Worse than death. But begging Vanderkaum not to do it would for sure result in him being sent for it. Again, silence was the better option.

Why couldn't they just kill him and get it over with? That way he could be free of his pain and retain those beloved memories. And be on the higher plain with his beloved family once again...

"Hmph...nothing to say... Why does that not surprise me? Never mind. There are other ways I can punish you. And I know just the thing. Drop and give me five hundred!"

Five hundred... Ten years ago, no problem. When he was weight training every day and taking pride in his strength, he would have laughed at the notion of five hundred push ups, and done them without barely working up a sweat. But now...

"I SAID DROP AND GIVE ME FIVE HUNDRED! DON'T FORCE ME TO MAKE IT A THOUSAND!"

As long as Renk could remember, he'd been very fit. One of the first memories he had in Solaris, in fact, was asking a fellow soldier if the training camp had a weight room. He never went crazy like some of the other soldiers, but he took pride in his strength, and had been quite well-known for it.

Then he had met Ayra. Dates cut into his weight training, but he still tried to keep up.

Times changed in Gebler. Ramsus came and there were reforms, and somewhere around that time, gears nearly replaced the old, heavy guns that had been used in warfare. Renk was sent to be trained as a gear pilot. Danie was born. And his weight training stopped entirely. He didn't think much of it. He didn't need to be as buff to be a gear pilot, and Ayra didn't care that most of his muscle had turned to flab, either.

He had always told himself he would start up his training again tomorrow. Tomorrow never came.

Vanderkaum knew. He knew Renk had let himself go. And he knew how much of a blow it would be to show in front of all these other soldiers that "Renk the Powerhouse" was now nothing more than a weak, fat shadow of who he'd once been.

Renk dropped to the floor, gritting his teeth. He would show them. He would show that he still had at least something. That he was at least a part of the man he'd been two days ago, before all this.

"One...two...three..." Vanderkaum counted tersely, mocking Renk with his tone.

By one hundred, Renk could barely lift himself off the ground, his muscles straining from the weight.

He'd once been so proud of his physique. When did that change?

It never had changed. It just fell to the wayside by more important matters. By the new life he'd established for himself.

A life he no longer had.

Without the people he loved.

Stripped of everything.

And everyone.

So alone...

Ayra...Danie... It was true. They were gone. The final reality of everything hit him at once - the loss, the pain, the humiliation... and he felt the tears begin to flow from his eyes uncontrollably. He was too weak to lift himself anymore. There was nothing, no point to any of it anymore. He couldn't stop the tears, as much as he fought them. But they only helped sink him deeper into his grief.

"Major Vanderkaum, sir... Should we take him to jail for a hearing on his insubordination?"

"Yeah, take him to the brig. But don't worry about treating him well. He's nothing but a worthless piece of shit, anyway."

~ End of Chapter 2 ~


	3. Dazil the Beautiful

**Gebler Special Forces: Chapter 3**  
**Dazil the Beautiful**

They had traveled most of the night northward, following the stars. Vance occasionally referred to the old compass to make sure they were on the right track, but Finn somehow still seemed to know the way without it.

"I dunno how I know it. But I do. I won't let us get lost, Vance. I promise," Finn had proclaimed early in the night. Vance decided to trust his colleague's instinct.

Several hours later Vance felt like dropping, but he knew sunrise was approaching, and the time the two would have to get to town was running short. He hoped they would see a sign of civilization soon.

The two monolithic gears jutted from the sand and were barely visible in the deep pitch of the desert night. Vance and Finn barely saw them until they were upon them, and only because they interrupted the tiny line of orange sunrise on the horizon. Over the course of their trip they had come across several spots in the desert littered with twisted metal, remnants from battles ancient and recent, but they had all been little more than scrap.

Vance pulled out his flashlight and shone it on them in an attempt to get a better look at them. These two gears, or what was left of them, were familiar and still recognizable. Their quality was greater than any gears normally found on the surface.

"Hey, I know this one. It's Swordknight, right? I kinda recognize the sword arm thing," Finn said.

"Yeah. It's Swordknight. This one looks like part of Wandknight, so it makes sense," Vance replied.

For a moment Finn hesitated. "Do ya...do ya think...they're in there?"

"Maybe," Vance said.

"Vance...I can't...if they're dead in there I can't look."

Vance sighed. _You're too squeamish, Finn. _"I'll look. Just give me a minute."

Vance assessed it a moment. The ladder was in the 'down' position, meaning somebody had disembarked. But who was to say it hadn't been salvagers? It was clear, even from his quick examination, the two gears had been stripped. He shrugged and began to climb.

Reaching the cockpit, he peeked inside. He didn't see anyone, but it didn't mean something wasn't out-of-place. He held his breath and opened the hatch.

Nothing. Nobody. Well, lots of blood, but no Helm.

Vance felt a great sense of relief. Maybe his fellow pilot wasn't dead after all.

"He's not in here," he shouted down to Finn.

"Really?"

"Nope. Lots of blood, though."

Vance slid down the ladder and approached Swordknight, hoping for the same results.

The cockpit was also empty, but there was no blood.

Hmm...maybe they hadn't lost Stratski, either.

"What about him?" Finn asked.

"Empty, too. Looks like they might have made it to the surface, at least. Helm was probably injured. There's blood everywhere in there."

"Do ya suppose the battleship mighta picked 'em up?" Finn asked.

"I don't know. Maybe. But I don't know if they would have seen them from up there. I mean, they found Renk because that was a marked rendezvous point. This is a bit different."

"But gears've got trackin' devices in 'em. They coulda found 'em that way. There're no tracks. Then again, in sand that don't matter too much."

"Well...our job isn't to worry about it. It's getting to Dazil before sunrise. We can't be much further away."

Finn slumped into the sand and leaned against what was left of Swordknight. "I don't think I can travel anymore today. My feet'r killin' me."

Vance thought about it for a moment. It would give him time to see if the salvagers had left anything behind in the gears worth stealing for himself. Likely not, but it would give him a chance to check.

"Well, okay. We can use them for shade, and I think we have enough water to last us until we arrive."

"I've still got lots. We'll be good."

Vance nodded. "Okay. Let's get some rest. You stay there. I'm going to go on and peek over this sand dune."

"Don't go too far, Vance. It's real easy to get lost in the desert."

"I'll be careful."

Vance headed forward up the mound of sand, his boots filling up even further than they already were. What he wouldn't do for a nice, long shower. He probably looked awful. He knew he smelled less than beautiful. Hopefully he could make himself more presentable when they were back in civilization.

As he reached the peak, he looked out over the horizon. Glittering in the distance was what appeared to be a small patchwork of stars. Vance knew instantly it had to be Dazil.

"Hey, Finn... The town is visible over this dune. Not too much farther, I don't think. But it's hard to judge in this landscape. How long does it take to start getting unbearably hot?"

"You're askin' me?"

"Well, you seem to know a lot about the desert, and it's been a long time since I lived in Bledavik."

"But...we were all there just a few months ago...when we were all stationed there, remember?"

"I didn't leave the base much. I doubt you did, either."

"Well, uh...nah. I guess yer right. Bein' in the base wasn't like actually living in town."

"Anyway, any idea of how long?"

"Hmm...I'd guess a couple hours. So if we rest here a bit longer, we should still make it okay. I really just wanna get to town and get a shower. I'm filthy." Finn said. "But my feet won't let me go right away."

"Okay. Just let me know when you're able to move again. I'm going to see if the salvagers left anything behind worth taking."

"You're gonna take more parts?"

"The more I salvage, the better the stuff I can make. I've got some ideas if I just get a place to set down and work on them. Hopefully soon."

"Wow! You're actually pretty smart, Vance!" "I know," he beamed.

Finn laughed.

"What's funny?"

"You're not completely different off Drive, ya know?"

"What do you mean by that?" Vance asked, his heart sinking a bit.

"Aw, I didn't mean anythin' bad from it. I meant it's 'cause you still think a lot of yerself, doncha? When ya know yer good at somethin'. That's not a bad thing."

"Well, I..." Vance recalled what they had been talking about before Finn had laughed, and realized Finn was right. Not that he had confidence in everything about himself, but hey, where machinery was concerned, he knew he was good. Vance laughed in return. "Yeah, you've got a point."

Finn smiled. "Yeah. I know I do. I'm good at that kinda stuff, ya know?"

Vance wasn't entirely sure what Finn was implying he was good at, but he decided to leave it alone. He turned to Swordknight and shimmied up its leg again, this time heading for the engine hatch. He opened it, then frowned. "She's been completely stripped! Anything decent is long gone. Damn salvagers..."

He imagined Wandknight would be just as stark. He jumped down and slumped next to Finn.

"Nothin' good left?"

"Nope."

"I guess salvagers got to 'em. They know what's useful and what they're gonna make a lot of money on. An' they've gotta be fast 'cause of all the competition." Vance looked at Finn with curiosity. "How do you know that?"

"I know lots of things!" he said. "Everyone always says I'm dumb and then stop takin' me seriously, but I do know some of what I'm talkin' about."

"Yeah, but still. How do you know that much about the salvaging business?"

"Uh, well... I just... I... you know, I don't know."

"Have you ever met any? Maybe in Bledavik?"

"Not that I remember. But there's a lot of stuff I don't remember since the accident I had a few years ago. Hmm..."

_That was no accident, Finn. It was Solaris, ripping you from your rightful home, the people you love and not even allowing you to keep your memories. I bet you've had exposure to the salvaging business. After all, you did work in the gear factory when you first came to Etrenank. They wouldn't put someone with no knowledge about mechanics to work in a place like that without training._

"Ya know...maybe I'll find out when we get ta Dazil. Wouldn't it be kinda neat if at some point I'd been there? I don't remember ever bein' on the surface, except for that stuff in Bledavik not too long ago."

"Mmm..." Vance responded, but said little more.

_Hopefully if that's true...your memories will be far less bitter than mine._

Vance sighed and looked up as the stars slowly began to fade into the blue of morning.

* * *

Footsteps. Two pairs.

"Leave me here..." Renk spoke lowly, not even lifting his head to look at the two people who stood before the cell. There was no point. No reason to live. No reason to talk. No more.

"Sergeant Elcide...sir..."

Kinney...what the hell was he doing here?

"Go away."

"We're here to save you."

"I don't want to be fucking saved. Go away."

"You don't mean that."

"Stop being such a pest!" Renk snapped. "Go the hell away!"

Why wouldn't they just leave him here to die?

The clang of the cell opening resonated off the walls. Damn them... Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

Renk heard a sigh and a small creak as one of the two people sat on the cot hanging along the wall.

"Your men...they're not really dead, are they? Vanderkaum was actually right, wasn't he?"

His men... Why was it important now?

"What the hell does it matter?"

"It doesn't to me. We're just curious. Don't worry. We're not out to catch them."

Something in Renk believed Kinney.

"Two of them aren't...that I know anyway."

"Deserters," Kinney spoke, but with no malice. "I wish I could be so lucky sometimes."

"I couldn't bring myself...to stop them. I care about my men. They're all I have left."

"You should go to them, then," said another voice. Deep, female. Renk hadn't expected Deanna Schmidt would be the type to come to help him. She was a full-blood Gazel and had no reason to care about a lowly Lamb-born loser like himself.

"Schmidt and I decided we're going to get you out of here so you can regroup with your men. Vance and Broyer, right?"

"I knew Vance in the Skyguards," Schmidt added. "Not a bad guy, but he did have issues. Never met Broyer, though. But never heard anything bad about him."

Yeah. Both Vance and Finn were good kids. Renk hoped they were alright.

"You really do care about them," Kinney spoke. "I sense you do. In order to lie for them like that, you'd have to."

"As I said, you should go to them instead of sulking here. They'll be your strength. There's nothing left for you here, Sergeant. Kinney told me what you're like with your men, and they'll help you. I know they will."

_My strength... My men..._

_Vance...Finn..._

Renk pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked at the soldiers for the first time.

"That's good. You're going to come with us?"

"Kinney...Schmidt... you can both get demoted or worse for helping me escape. I'm...not worth it..."

"You ARE," Kinney said. "I've known you for years, and you've always been good to me. Besides... I've got a feeling this is important, Sergeant. I don't know how, but I've learned to trust this instinct when I have it. It's the small bit of Ether I have, my gut instinct about people sometimes. It's especially strong with people who share similar Ether abilities," Kinney spoke, though Renk didn't know what he was talking about. His own Ether had always been a flat line.

"Don't ask how I know - I just do, Sergeant. So trust me, you're worth it. Besides... I admit, I enjoyed watching you tell Vanderkaum what he can do. There are very few on this ship who didn't enjoy it." Kinney chuckled. "You've become somewhat of a hero."

"Telling a superior officer to fuck off isn't usually somethin' that makes someone a hero. Just an idiot."

"Maybe if the superior officer in question wasn't such a tyrant then opinions might have been different. But just in case, we'll take the most deserted way out of here possible, but you'd better believe there will be some head-turning going on as we escape. Anyway, we don't really have time to sit and talk. Let's just get you the hell out of here."

"I got a few of the things you brought back here from your room," Schmidt said. "I also put some surface money and rations in here. We'll try to point the escape shuttle as close a direction to nearby town as possible. We're going to be stopping to pick up a couple wrecked gears soon. We'll take advantage of the diversion. As long as we're fast, they might not be able to detect the shuttle jettisoning while the cranes are out. It's a glitch in the system. My friend in robotics told me so."

"Yeah, we've got a plan worked out. So just follow us and we'll get you out of here. Don't worry."

Kinney and Schmidt had been right. Though they occasionally ran into guards, not even one seemed to notice. Of course they likely did notice, but didn't care. Even if not for what Schmidt claimed was Renk's new hero status, it had been clear to Renk morale on the ship was at an all-time low. Vanderkaum wasn't helping matters. You couldn't lose your home and your loved ones, be treated like garbage and expect to be happy about it.

The evacuation port wasn't very far from the jail. When they entered the small area, Renk thought of the fact something as simple as small escape pods had eluded the designers of Etrenank. That, or maybe the normal citizens were seen as completely expendable, so they weren't necessary. It wouldn't surprise him if it were the latter.

"Shuttle three. It's the most faulty with the glitch I was telling you about," Schmidt said.

Renk crawled into the one-man pod and waited. Kinney poked his head inside. "Just wait a minute. Schmidt and I are going to release the shuttle at just the right time. We hope."

Renk nodded. "Kinney...Schmidt...thanks."

"No need for thanks," Schmidt said. "Just go on and be safe. Please find the peace in your heart."

The door of the shuttle closed, and Renk was left all alone in the darkness.

_Kinney...Schmidt...you be careful, too... _he thought.

* * *

The sun had been in the sky for a couple hours, and the desert was beginning to grow hot in the daylight. But Vance and Finn were less than a quarter kilometre from town and would most certainly make it before they collapsed.

"So yeah..." Finn said. "I'm gonna need a shower soon as I can. I think I've got sand in places I didn't know I even had..."

"Yeah," Vance replied half-heartedly. It was true. The grit had permeated all the way to his skin, making moving oddly uncomfortable. He couldn't wait to get to town.

Finn suddenly stopped, like an animal who has sensed danger. He slowly turned and looked to the sky.

"Uh, oh..." he uttered quietly, as if to himself.

Vance didn't want to look. But he knew he had to.

On the horizon, Gebler's battleship approached them.

There was nothing but sand dunes around them. Nowhere to hide. The only place was the far-off city. But could they reach it that fast? Before they'd be spotted? He felt his heart beginning to beat fast.

"Finn..." Vance whispered, trying to keep his voice even. "Run!"

Vance didn't even think about it as he bolted forward, not daring to look back. If there was any chance they wouldn't be spotted, then it was worth it.

Finn didn't hesitate either, but he just couldn't keep pace.

"S-s-sorry, Vance...but I can't...I can't...run anymore... Go ahead...with...out..."

Vance felt torn. He didn't want to be caught so soon, but he didn't want to just abandon Finn in the middle of the desert.

He looked back a moment, and saw the battleship had stopped its advance. It now hovered over the desert.

_Hmm...weird..._

Vance gave it a quick thought. Swordknight. Wandknight. They were stopping to claim what was left. It would buy him and Finn a bit more time.

"They're picking up Helm and Stratski's gears," Vance said. "That should buy us some time. Let's hurry, Finn...just rush as best as you can."

The big man puffed. "Yeah, I know. Okay. I'll try ta keep up...best I can..."

"I won't leave you behind," Vance said, surprising even himself. But how could he possibly leave his colleague behind in such a spot?

"Thanks, Vance. You're a pal."

_Not a pal. Not really. Maybe...maybe I just don't want to be alone?_

"One step, then the next..." Finn told himself quietly as he rushed to keep up. Vance was curious of the tone - almost as if he was repeating something he'd heard many times as a child. But there was no time to question it.

The walls of the city weren't much farther away. There were no guards by the entrance, as there had been in the capital city of Bledavik. It seemed somehow inviting.

Finn was only a few paces behind him. He stopped and looked up at the city, the golden yellow brick barely darker than the sand it sat upon. His look seemed slightly nostalgic, but confused.

"What's up, Finn?"

"I dunno. I just...I just all of a sudden feel kinda...happy. But... I don't know why... I don't like it. It hurts my head."

_This has to have been your surface home, Finn. It's the only thing that makes sense - how you know so much about the desert and about the salvaging business. Solaris didn't wipe all your memories - you just needed to have those feelings stirred._

Before stepping into town, Vance looked back at the battleship one last time, and saw the stripped gears were small dots below the monolithic ship. But then there was a third. The dot grew bigger until its form was obvious as an escape shuttle. Someone else had decided to desert Solaris, but was it even anyone he knew?

Maybe...maybe it was Renk.

"That's an escape shuttle. Do ya think it might be..." Finn said. Vance was a little surprised Finn would have thought it could be Renk, as well. He usually didn't think that deeply. Perhaps Finn really was smarter than he seemed.

Vance again felt torn. Should he wait and see who was on the shuttle, or turn his back and seek safety in the city?

_We're a stone's throw away. We'll have an advantage if we're in town. But if it is Renk, I want him to find us. I want to assure myself he's okay and he didn't suffer because of what I did._

Finn obviously had the same feeling, for he also waited for the shuttle's approach without dashing inside. At least Vance wasn't alone in his sentiment.

The shuttle's landing was light, but not graceful. They weren't designed for flying - only for bringing the passengers safely to the surface.

For a few tense moments, Vance watched the hatch open. For a moment it laid open, the passenger not stepping outside.

_Maybe...maybe he's injured... I certainly hope not._

"Finn, stay back here. I'm going to go see if everything's okay..."

"OUT OF MY WAYYY! I saw it first!"

A man rushed from the town, past Vance and towards the shuttle. He reached it and stuck a flag in the sand with an odd symbol upon it.

"Yes! It's mine! She can't steal it from me today!" he shouted, jumping up and down. "Hee hee! It's pretty much intact, too! Bound to be some niiiice stuff inside this thing..."

Despite having been born on the surface and spending his early years immersed in the language of the surface, Vance had only been educated in Solarian and spoke it fluently. His Lamb was notably rusty. He was able to make out the general gist of what the salvager was saying, but couldn't pick out every word. Vance had always showed a bit of apprehension using the language of the surface himself. Unless under the influence of Drive, of course, when he didn't concern himself with it at all. But he had to respond somehow.

"Hey!" he called out.

The man looked back. "Hey, you snooze, you lose!" Vance couldn't tell what the salvager meant by it. Some sort of idiom, no doubt. He supposed it didn't matter.

The salvager jumped upon the shuttle and popped open the hatch. He didn't even bother to check on the passenger.

"It just crashed about a half-minute ago! You're not even going to check on the person inside?"

"I got burned yesterday for being soft-hearted! I'm not making that mistake again."

Vance understood enough to know the salvager cared little of the passenger and was being territorial about it.

"Whatever, whatever. It's yours. Knock yourself out."

The salvager looked at him as if what he had said had been odd. That was when Vance realized he'd responded in Solarian. He tried again in Lamb, and appeared to be understood.

The salvager shrugged. "Half the time, these things jettison empty. I'm not wasting my time and having that giant woman get to it before me!"

Vance decided to ignore the shameless salvager and paid attention to the open hatch. He saw someone was finally emerging from the ship, slowly. The man's ruddy complexion and bushy auburn beard identified him as Renk.

His eyes were different - red, puffy, as if he'd been crying. Vance had wished Renk wouldn't feel any pain and would have his family around him and safe, but it didn't seem to be so.

"Renk..." he whispered, approaching him and helping him from the shuttle. "I'm glad you're okay...you are okay, right?"

Renk wiped his eyes quickly. "Yeah. I'm okay," he said, but Vance didn't believe him. The older man set his eyes on his younger colleague.

"Thanks, Vance," he said sarcastically. "Solaris was most impressed with your work on Clawknight."

"I'm sorry, Renk. I didn't think they'd want to re-claim damaged gears and it was already too late to warn you..."

"Forget it, kid. Forget it. What's done is done."

"Still...I hope they didn't hurt you for it."

"Not physically. Not really. They stripped me of my rank and demoted me back to third class. But it's not important anymore. It gave me the motivation to leave. I'm a nobody in Gebler's eyes. I'm better off here with you guys now. How's Finn?"

"He's just over there. We just got to the entrance of town. It's right over there."

Renk nodded. "Let's get inside, then we'll talk some more. I've gotta tell you what's going on."

The shuttle lurched a moment as if someone was jumping on top of it.

"What the hell is that?" Renk asked.

"That salvager decided to waste no time..." Vance said, pointing to the top of the shuttle.

"Ambitious little bastard," Renk said, then laughed. "Yeah, I've heard some of them are a little like that. Anyway, he can have it. I don't need it anymore, do I?"

Vance shook his head. It was good to hear Renk laugh, even if it was less jovial than usual.

The two rushed back to the entrance of town.

"Hey, Renk!" Finn said, waving. "Good ta see you're alive and good!"

"Good to see you again, Finn."

"Renk, what's going on in Gebler and Solaris right now?" Vance asked.

"Well, they obviously know you're still both alive, but... Vanderkaum told me they don't care. I think you guys will be safe. For awhile, anyway."

"Really? Why do I have a hard time believing that? Considering the secrets we have that we could pass on?" Vance asked.

"Well, I'm only going by what Major Vanderkaum said. Honestly, things are in such a scramble in Gebler now, and I don't think they really have the resources to chase after a couple deserters, if I had to guess why. Moral is pretty shitty right now, too. There... were no survivors from Etrenank. Except the Emperor and Krelian."

"Really? None?" Finn asked, frowning. He knew what it meant. He knew Renk had lost his family. "I'm really, really sorry ta hear that, Sergeant. Really sorry... I'm gonna miss them so much..."

Renk looked like he was going to tear up again, but he cleared his throat and choked them back.

"Personally, I'd still keep my guard up," Renk said, deliberately changing the subject. "You just never know when they might change their minds."

"Wait Renk...you were answering to Major Vanderkaum? What about... the Lieutenant?" Finn asked.

Renk shook his head lightly. "Commander Ramsus and the Elements are MIA. I - I'm sorry, Finn. Wish I had better news."

Finn sighed. "It was the best ya could bring, Renk. Don't worry about it." His tone was filled with worry.

"We should get into town and take cover. I'm going to lay low anyway. Just in case," Vance said.

Finn and Renk nodded and followed their colleague into town.

* * *

Dazil was unlike Bledavik in many ways. From what Finn remembered of the town where the Gebler base had been, the streets of Bledavik were narrow, crowded, lined with vendors selling wares of all sorts. Dazil, while still busy, was clearly much smaller, with shorter buildings and wider boulevards. The overall atmosphere was more laid back than Aveh's capital.

Finn looked around the town, the streets of early morning bustling with people, animals and sand buggies. The noise hurt his head a little as he tried to take it all in.

There was something most certainly familiar. Maybe before the accident he had been here, though he was sure he would remember a place filled with so much dust and dirt.

"This place is filthy," Finn spoke.

"It's just dusty," Vance said. "It's an improvement over the open desert."

"Ugh...no, it's filthy." Finn ran his hand down an old cart which sat beside someone's house. A layer of dust fluffed off of it.

"Look for a sign that says 'hotel' or 'inn'," Renk said. "You guys know the language of the surface, right?"

"I remember that much," Vance said.

"Me too! Uh huh!" Finn said, smiling. "I'm actually kinda good at it."

Yes, he'd had always had a harder time with the written Solarian language than he'd ever had with Lamb. He wasn't sure why that was, considering he'd been told he was from Etrenank and hadn't remembered ever really being on the surface, save the time he had been stationed there.

"There!" Vance said, pointing.

"Alright, let's see what the rates are like."

"I'll wait out here," Finn said, not wanting to think of what it looked like inside the buildings in this dirty little town.

"Hmm...okay. Whatever, Finn."

The other two went inside, leaving him alone.

He looked around a moment, feeling a little strange. The longer he was here, the more his head hurt. And the more familiar it seemed.

"Oh...my...god!" came a voice from right in front of him.

He looked at the woman who was tall, stout and rough-looking. There was something feminine about her, betraying her rather masculine manner of dress. But it was hard to know if he was just seeing it wrong, since Lambs dressed much differently than Solarians.

"Finn? Finn, is that you?" she asked, coming right up to him.

He looked at the woman seriously. Something about her seemed familiar, but he'd be damned if he knew exactly who she was.

"Uh...yeah..." he responded. After all, his name _was_ Finn.

"Oh, Finn!" she said, flinging her arms around him.

"Huh! Hey! Let go of me!" he said, shoving her off.

She stepped back, puzzled.

"Don't you know who I am? I've gained a little weight, but I haven't changed that much, have I?"

He looked at her again. No recollection at all.

"Um...sorry...I don't...who are you?" he asked.

She sighed. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nah, I'm not."

She put her hand on her mouth. "Don't tell me you have amnesia or something, because mom and dad are not going to accept that excuse!"

"A - amnesia?" What was she talking about? Like...lost memories? Well...the accident had left him without any, so perhaps...

"Where have you been all these years? You just disappeared without a trace! Nobody knew where the hell you went! You went on a buying trip and just disappeared!"

The whole situation was very uncomfortable. It was obvious this woman knew him, but he didn't recall her at all. Too awkward.

"Um...I'm sorry, I...I've gotta to go..."

"Oh no, Finn Broyer, you're not goin' anywhere!" She grabbed him by the arm.

He pushed her instinctively, a reaction he'd have thought better of if he wasn't so unnerved. "Go away! Leave me alone, you stupid Lamb!"

She fell to the ground, falling face first into the dirt.

Finn felt a deep pang of guilt right in his heart. And that was when it came to him. He remembered who she was.

Vehra. His sister. The one who he had been so close to - the one person who truly understood him. He remembered nights on the roof, talking under the stars and how she had taught him how to stick up for himself. How could he have possibly forgotten her?

He remembered his home in this small town, Dazil - his mother and his father. He remembered everything. It flooded back to him in a wave, overwhelming.

She rolled off the ground, wiping sand from her face and tears from her eyes. Finn also found himself getting a little teary-eyed.

"Vehra...Vehra...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean..." he said.

He held out his hand, but she shoved it away and rose to her feet.

"I can get up myself, you moron! What did you do that for?"

"Vehra...I didn't mean to...I didn't remember who you were 'til just now..."

She shoved him and he fell down, unable to react to her move.

"Didn't remember...?" she spoke, placing a hand on her hip. "This is the thanks I get for teaching you how to fight, huh? You shove me down like some stupid bully? You'd better watch it or I'll pound you to the ground, little brother. You wuss."

"Vehra...I don't want to fight you..."

She laughed. "Such a change in tone. Oh, well. Good. I'd rather not fight you, either." The woman held out her hand. He took it and smiled, still a bit bewildered by the whole thing. But he remembered her. It hurt that he hadn't remembered her enough to miss her while they had been apart.

"So...why the weird reception?" she asked as he brushed the sand from his clothes.

"It's...a long story. I don't wanna tell it twice. Are mom and dad still here?"

"Yep. And they've always held on to a hope you'd be back some day. Honestly though, I didn't think I'd ever see you back here. Come on home. We kept your room exactly the way you left it."

"Well...um...hold on a sec. I'm with friends..."

"Friends? Well, bring them, too. You know mom and dad won't care. They like your friends coming over. They're usually as benign as you."

"They're in the inn. They'll be right out."

"Okay."

Finn looked at the dark-haired woman as she looked back at him with a strange expression, almost as if she was trying to figure out if she was dreaming.

_No, Vehra. You ain't dreaming. I'm really here. How long has it been now? Almost eight years. I was just a kid back then. Mom and dad must have gone outta their minds with worry. You too, though you'd never show it._

_That was no accident I had - they kidnapped me and took my mind away. So Solaris really does kidnap people for their own purposes. What scumbags. And to think I almost went back to those idiots. I shoulda known, since they wanted ta keep me and Sera from bein' together when I love her so bad._

_I wonder why they wanted me...?_

"Finn...?"

"Yeah?"

"What the HELL is a Lamb?"

"Oh, uh...I'll explain all that, too."

"Good. Because I'm completely confused."

"It's kinda confusing. I kinda don't really get it myself. That's why I really only want ta tell it once."

"Well, okay. But you know we're all gonna have lots of questions."

"Well, what I can't answer, one of my friends might be able ta. They're much smarter than me about that kind of stuff."

"Hey, Finn!" Renk called out from behind him. He swung around to see he and Vance approaching.

"Hey, guys!"

"Say, Finn...how much surface money do you have? Between Renk and I, we don't have enough for even one night at that place."

"Oh, um...well...I don't really...I don't have any. But...it doesn't matter! We've got a place to stay, guys!"

"We do?" Renk asked suspiciously.

"Oh, yeah! We can stay with my parents in our house!"

Vance smiled, as if he wasn't surprised, but Renk seemed considerably more shocked by the news.

"Uh, yeah. This girl is my sister, Vehra!" he said, waving her over. "Vehra, this is Vance and Renk."

"Nice to meet you," she said. "Hmm...like I thought. Completely benign."

"Huh?" Vance asked.

"Never mind. Follow me. Our house is at the other end of town."

"Uh...yeah."

Vehra looked back at them as she walked. "What's that language you were speaking? And those look like military uniforms. You're all dressed the same."

"Well, yeah. We'll tell you guys all about that, too."

"Actually, you're all dressed the same as that idiot who tried to pick me up earlier."

"Some idiot?" Finn asked. "What did he look like?"

"Hmph. Really light long hair, sorta cute, but he was a short little pipsqueak."

"Stratski!" Renk spoke.

"Guess someone else made it here after all, Vance. We'll go look for 'em."

"What?" Vehra asked. "What did you just say?"

"Oh! Sorry, Vehra. We were just deciding to go look for that guy you mentioned. He's our friend."

"Oh, I know where that idiot is. As soon as I rejected him, he turned around to go lick his wounds and tripped over his own feet. I think he sprained his ankle. I didn't stick around in Dr. Strop's office to find out. I just helped his sorry ass to the place."

"Yeah, it's Stratski, alright," Renk spoke with a smile.

"So he's probably at...Dr. Strop's office?"

"Probably. It was only about an hour ago."

"Uh...where's his office? I forgot..."

Vehra sighed. "We're almost there. You go in and see your short friend, then I'll meet you back here and we'll go home together. I have to run some errands, anyway."

"Uh...that's good 'cause I...I don't remember exactly where home is."

"That's pretty sad, Finn. Even for you. You used to have a good sense of direction once. And it's not like this place has changed. At all."

"Well...I've got an' excuse. I'll say why later, when mom and dad are around too."

"Well, okay. This is Dr. Strop's office. Go get your friend and wait here..." Vehra paused, and her face grew serious. "Don't disappear again, okay?"

* * *

Renk stepped in after the other two had entered.

The waiting room of the doctor's office was very inviting, but not busy. There was no receptionist, just a sign in Lamb reading, '_Patients will be seen promptly in order of severity of illness or injury. The doctor will be the one to decide this priority, not the patient. Please have a seat.'_

"This place seems sorta familiar..." Finn spoke.

"I hope so, Finn. This is your home town, after all," Vance said.

"Oh, yeah!" Finn quipped, completely missing the sarcasm in Vance's tone.

Renk shook his head. Finn had never been the brightest star, but it was part of what made him so likeable, overall.

"Do you gentlemen need me?"

An old man stood in a far off doorway. Renk stood. "We're looking for someone named Stratski."

The old man looked nervous for a moment, and replied, "The name isn't familiar."

"Excuse me, sir, but my sister said he'd hurt his ankle. He's always doin' that sorta stupid stuff to himself."

The old man adjusted his glasses. "Well, if it isn't little Finny! I didn't expect I'd ever see you again!" He stepped into the waiting room of the office. "Wow... I didn't think you could grow much taller, but you did. Geez, boy... you're a mountain now."

"Uh...yeah...nice to see you again...er..."

"Dr. Strop," Vance spoke.

"Oh, yeah!"

"Finn, are you alright? Have you hit your head, too?"

"Huh? Who else hit their head?" Finn asked.

"Oh, um...nobody. I shouldn't have phrased it that way. I'm sorry."

"Uh, okay. But..." "Finny, it really is nice seeing you again, but if you and your friends aren't sick or injured, then I'm afraid you'll have to go. I have a house call to make now."

"Are you sure you haven't had anyone named Stratski come in here?"

"Nope. Not at all. Come now, gentlemen. Out of my office, all of you."

Renk stepped in front of the door. His physique wasn't as impressive as Finn's, but it was enough to block the doctor from leaving.

"We aren't out to capture him. We're his friends. We're in the same position as he is. So come on. Let us see him. He'll be glad to have some friends left now."

Dr. Strop sighed. "So you are all friends?"

"Yeah. I mean, Stratski can be a jerk sometimes, but we like him most of the time. We were gonna take him back to my house to meet mom and dad. So come on. We wanna see him."

"I have never known you to lie, Finny. Even when you tried, you were very bad at it. Come on. I'll take you inside. They're both pretty much ready for me to release, anyway."

"Both?" Renk asked.

"Mr. Stratski and Mr. Helmholz."

"Helm's here, too?"

The doctor nodded, then led them into the back room.

Sitting atop a bed in the far corner was Stratski, his ankle wrapped in a large bandage.

"Hey! Guys!" he exclaimed when he saw them. "You're alive?"

"Uh huh," Finn said. "You, too. Good ta see ya!"

For a moment, Stratski's expression grew serious. "We're not going back to Solaris. And nothing you say or do is going to change that. I mean it."

"Don't worry, Stratski. None of us are going back, either. Or that's the plan," Vance said.

"And they aren't looking for us. Well, they might be looking for me, but Vanderkaum himself said he didn't care about you guys."

Stratski sighed. "That's a relief."

"Say... Dr. Strop said Helm was here, too," Finn spoke.

Stratski pointed to a small partition wall to his left. "Yeah, he's here, too," he said. Renk saw Stratski's eyes light up ever so slightly as he regarded Helm. "I was really worried about him, you know. He had a really bad blow to his head and some pretty wicked sprains. Amazingly, nothing broken. He was lucky. I can't thank whatever god is out there for that enough. Dr. Strop says he's healing up well and he'll be back to normal in a week or so. He's sleeping now, so don't wake him up. He needs his sleep."

"You're telling _them _not to wake me up?" Helm's slightly groggy voice came from the other side of the partition.

"I woke you up? Sorry, Vic..." Stratski spoke.

"It can't be helped. I wasn't really asleep, anyway."

"Renk, could you roll the partition away?" Stratski asked, and Renk did so.

Helmholz was covered in various bandages, including one wrapped around his head. Without his glasses, his face looked strange. Renk had never seen him without them before.

"Are you in bed too, Knute? What have you done to yourself now?"

"Um..." Stratski replied. "Someone pushed me down and I fell wrong on my ankle and sprained it."

Helm sighed in time with Finn's interjection. "Hey, that's not how it happened! Vehra said you tripped over your own feet an' fell down!"

"Who's Vehra?" Knute asked.

"The girl who 'knocked you down'," Vance spoke dryly.

"Hey, hey, hey..."

"Let me guess," Helm spoke. "You were flirting with this Vehra girl and she turned you down. Then as you were gracefully trying to escape with your pride intact, you tripped over your own feet and fell."

"...I hate you, Vic."

Helmholz, Renk and Vance laughed.

"It was really stupid, you know. Just as Vic's feeling better, I go and hurt myself. How dumb."

"Ah, it happens, Stratski. 'Sides, Vehra's not one for that kinda stuff. She's sorta scary that way. Always has been."

"Yeah, well...I didn't realize just how tall and large she was until I got close, then I couldn't back out since I was there..." Stratski stopped himself. "Wait...you know that woman, Finn?"

Finn smiled and nodded. "She's my big sister!"

Stratski's eyes went wide a moment, but quickly narrowed. "Why does that not really surprise me?"

Renk looked at his men silently as they laughed together. So they were all alive, and for the moment, happy. Something about it eased Renk's heart a little. At least they would be all right for awhile longer, anyway.

"Say, Renk," Stratski spoke, pulling him back into the conversation. "Um...listen, I'm... sorry about your wife and daughter. I know what they meant to you, and, well... I'm just so sorry."

The others said nothing. They merely stared sympathetically. It was the last thing he wanted. For them to pity him or treat him differently. But here they all were - awkward expressions, unable to speak. Finn looked visibly upset, but he and Ayra had been relatively close, as Ayra had taught Finn how to cook. The only one with a stone cold expression was Helm, but that wasn't unusual.

The way they looked at him...he couldn't stand it. He felt the tightness form in his chest, but he held it back. He didn't want them to see him like this.

"Thanks, Stratski," he spoke. "But it's okay. It's going to be okay."

He said the words, but he didn't really believe them for a moment. No, he wasn't going to be okay. He could say otherwise a million times, but it would never make it true.

"Okay, Renk. But...if ya need anythin' you let me know, okay? I'm here for ya," Finn spoke earnestly, as always.

"Yeah, we all are," Vance said.

"Perhaps we should change the subject," Helmholz spoke bluntly. He probably sensed Renk's uneasiness. Regardless, he was happy for the diversion.

"Look, my mom's gonna be so happy ta see me that she'll make a huge dinner. And she'll make enough for the whole city. She does that sorta stuff sometimes. The doctor said he was gonna release ya both soon. Soon as that happens, we should go back to my house."

"Actually, now that Mr. Helmholz is awake, I should be able to arrange his discharge," Dr. Strop said, stepping up to Helm's bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better. Thank you."

"Feeling dizzy or light-headed?"

"No. I'm fine."

"Then I'll get you some crutches and you're free to go. Oh, and for Mr. Stratski, too."

"Great!" Stratski spoke.

"Will you need instructions on how to use them?"

"Him? Nah," Helm spoke. "Knute has plenty of experience with crutches. Trust me on that one."

"Ooh, I hate you, Vic."

Helm laughed lightly, but quickly became stoic again. "I will need to be shown, though. I don't remember ever needing them."

"You'll have to be careful not to hurt your injured arms more, Vic."

"I'll be fine. I trust Dr. Strop will show me how to use them without hurting myself."

A short while later, the group gathered outside the doctor's office where Finn's sister waited. Renk saw she and Stratski exchange a look of scorn before he finally smiled sheepishly.

"Hey, thanks. Most girls would have just left me lying there in the dirt."

Vehra's face slowly cracked into a smile, as well. "Eh, no problem. I've got to admit, you're sort of cute for a pipsqueak. And if you're a friend of Finn's, you can't be all bad."

Renk saw Stratski flinch at the word 'pipsqueak', but otherwise he continued to smile.

"Don't get the wrong impression from this, but I'm Knute Stratski."

Finn's sister put a hand on her hip. "Knute Stratski, huh? Nortunan, are you? You don't look it with the pale hair and skin. The closest I'd guessed you were from Noln, but those people are gorgeously tanned. Guess you're not."

"I - uh... look like my mother. I...you know, I don't really know where she's from."

Renk couldn't help but smile. There was something about Stratski that could charm the most hardened hearts.

Renk's attention was drawn to a store before them.

"This is it," Finn said. "I remember. Hasn't changed a bit."

Renk nodded. So this was Finn's surface home. He wondered for a moment what Finn's family would be like. Only a short while would tell.

* * *

Finn's heart beat a little fast as they approached the doorway to the house, to the left of the door leading to the town's general store.

"Your parents owned a store? You're kidding, right?" Stratski asked.

"Why is that a surprise?" Vehra asked.

"We just don't see Finn the salesman type."

"Are you kidding? Finn was our best salesman. He had this way of talking people into buying things they didn't really need or want...and even made the people not regret their purchases."

"Are we talking about the same Finn Broyer?"

"I know he seems kinda dumb, but there's a brilliant salesman in there somewhere. I think it's his honest face."

"Vehra, you're embarrassing me now..."

"So? When you've got a talent, you shouldn't hide it. You should flaunt it, right?"

"Yeah...I guess so..."

Vehra led them all into a small house behind the store.

"Who's the grunt outside?"

"Griv? He's just a guy we hired to replace you. He's good, but not as good as you were."

More memories swelled over Finn as he entered and looked around. The house had changed little. It was incredibly neat with fragrant imported flowers in a vase on the table - one of the few indulgences his modest mother allowed herself.

"Sit down, you guys. It's small, but it's comfortable."

"It's immaculate..." Stratski whispered to Helm in Solarian.

"So that's where he gets it from..." Helm said.

Finn wasn't quite sure what the word 'immaculate' meant in Solarian language, but he sensed it wasn't an insult, so he chose to leave it alone.

"Mom! Dad! Come out here! I've got a surprise for you!"

They heard the loud voices of two people in the hallway off shooting the living room.

"Vehra, what is it? We're sorta busy back here!"

"No, really. Come out here. You won't regret it!"

The shadows fell on the wall before Finn's parents entered the room.

"Okay, Vehra...what is it?" her father put a large hand on his hip as he spoke. He looked identical to Finn, though older.

His mother, a much smaller woman but by no means frail, stopped in her tracks and stared at Finn, shock all too evident in her expression.

"Finny?" she asked.

"Finn?" his father said, also seeing him.

"Yeah, mom, dad. It's me. I'm home."

"Ohoohhhh!" his mother said, running up to him and flinging her arms around him. She slathered him with wet kisses.

"Ma...ma...that's kinda gross...ma...please..."

She held him at arms length, looking him up and down.

"Are you alright? Have you been eating properly? Have you been well? Oh, my little boy is a man now! I can't believe I missed you growing up!"

"Well, Finn..." his father said, approaching him much more slowly and patting him roughly on the back. "Perhaps you'd like to explain where you've been all these years, huh?"

"Oh, Ven..." his mother said, hitting her husband on the arm. "At least let the boy come in and relax first. Do you want some tea, dear? Oh...who are all these people?" she asked, noticing all the others.

"These are my friends, ma. This is Stratski and Helm...Vance and Renk."

"It's nice to meet all you fine gentleman. Please sit down and make yourselves comfortable. Would you all like some tea?"

"Yes, that would be very nice," Helm spoke.

"Well, then...I'll put some on."

His mother hustled off to the small kitchen in a corner of the room, which allowed her in on the conversation.

"Vehra, could you get everyone a coaster?" she asked her daughter as she poured water into the kettle.

Vehra rolled her eyes. "Okay, mom." She reached over for the many sets of coasters which were left all over the house in strategic places, and set them up so everyone had one.

"These are vital in the Broyer home. Can't scrape the table all up now, can we? Makes me sick sometimes," Vehra said with distaste.

"Vehra, coasters just keep the table from bein' destroyed," Finn said. "And that way they need less polishing."

"Yeah, whatever," his sister spoke dryly. "I've gotta find a man and get out of this house so I can be a slob all day if I want to."

"I've gotta tell Griv to take over while we have guests. I'll be right back."

Finn noticed his father's walk was slow, hunched over and stiff. He had always remembered him as a strong, healthy man who would take on the world if he was so inclined. His father looked so much older now.

"What happened to dad?" he whispered to Vehra softly.

"He was trying to lift a heavy load of boxes by himself, and his back hasn't been the same since," Vehra whispered. "He tried to do a lot of things by himself after you went away that he really shouldn't have been doing at his age, but you know, dad's stubborn. Wouldn't listen to us."

Everyone settled in and Ven Broyer returned to the living area. He sat slowly in the easy chair that had been designated as his many years ago.

"So, Finn...would you mind explaining where you've been for all these years, hm? Your mother and Vehra were worried sick about you. And you left a lot of work at the store undone."

"Yeah, dad. I know. I'm sorry."

"Well...no use complaining about it now. It's been done for ya. But I expect you're gonna make it up to me, right?"

"Well...I guess so."

"Good. Well, tell me, boy. I send you off on a buying trip to Bledavik, and you never even get there and disappear off the face of the earth. Why the dissapearin' act?"

"It's sort of a long story, and I'm not even sure I can tell the whole story, 'cause I still don't remember or understand everythin' but...I'll try my best. Let me just start by saying I didn't want to go away. I was kidnapped."

"Kidnapped?" his father questioned with slight doubt in his tone.

"Yeah. I don't remember that completely clear, but I remember I was on my way to Bledavik. I only had about a couple hours longer to go, but night was fallin', and I was tired, so I decided to camp. I was sittin' alone when all of a sudden this light from above me blinded me and I couldn't see. I don't remember much after that. The next thing I remember, I was in some weird room. I couldn't remember how I got there or where I was from. I learned the place I was now in was called Solaris, and the floatin' city I was in was the capital, Etrenank. It was a lot different than I was used to, even though I couldn't really remember what it was I was used to, even though now I remember. Things were more advanced technically there than they are here. A lot of the citizens are kidnapped from the surface and brought to be in labour and stuff."

"Um...you mean to be used in the labour force, Finn..." Helm corrected.

"Yeah, okay. And things were a lot more kinda... what's the word I'm lookin' for...well, um...the government didn't like us to say bad stuff about them and stuff."

"I think the word you're looking for is 'restrictive'," Helm spoke.

"Yeah, yeah. That's it, I think. If that's what that 'restrivitive' word means, then yeah. I mean, people got in a lotta trouble sayin' stuff they didn't like about the way things were, so you just didn't say it. But I never really thought those guys were really all that right, anyway. I kinda liked the place for some reason. The place I was livin' was kinda small, not much more 'n one room, but I don't know but I didn't really care. It was like they put somethin' in my head that made me like the place. I was only happy I hadda place to live. I was given a job doin' some junk in a gear factory. I worked there for a year. Then one day we were workin' on this gear with an old, broken circuit that those Ethos guys couldn't fix - and we knew it coulda gone outta control at any minute. I was workin' in the cockpit, tuning up some of the gauges when one of my co-workers accidentally turned it on. The gear crashed through the factory, and almost stomped on some people. I didn't really know what I was doin', but some instinct in me made me step into pilot mode and attempt to tame the gear. I'd never really ridden a gear before, but it was kinda like I'd done it all my life, ya know? I managed to tame it before it completely destroyed the place and killed everyone. Two days later, I was given a job in the Solaris Military, called Gebler, in the gear combat division."

"I remember hearing about that incident. That was you, Finn?" Helm spoke up.

"I'm impressed," Stratski said. "But I know you're good with your gear, so I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised."

"Yeah, well, I was in the military for awhile, but I was still what they called a third class citizen, or 'Worker Bee'. But I was so good at gear combat, I was so much better then all the guys in my battalion, I got promoted to the new battalion of elite gear troops, known as the Special Forces. These guys are them. I introduced 'em already. Because of that I got promoted to second class citizen, and I was given a bigger apartment to live in, and they began to pay me a small salary."

"Here, being a second class citizen is a bad thing," Vehra spoke.

"Ah, it wasn't so bad. I was most excited about the apartment. I could actually have a couple rooms instead of just one. Anyway, I just guess my life in Solaris wasn't as bad as it was for other people. It'd been a lot worse if I hadda remembered you guys. But Solaris does some kinda thing with your mind that makes you forget your life on the surface and makes you love Solaris. They teach you there that people who live here on the surface are animals. 'Purge the Lambs', they always said, whatever that's supposed to mean."

"Um...Finn, it means we had the right to kill Lambs at will for no reason, just because we felt like it," Helm spoke.

"Oh. Well, then, I guess that's pretty bad, then."

"Uh, yeah, I guess..." Stratski said mockingly.

"It's like something out of a book," Vehra said. "Really, really weird."

"Yeah, well, it's true. Scary, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So, yeah, it wasn't all good. But...Etrenank was attacked a couple days ago, and it crashed into the ground. But Gebler's big battleship survived, and we were waitin' at the rendezvous when Vance said he was gonna leave Solaris. We thought Knute and Helm were dead but they were with Dr. Strop and Renk was gonna go back but then came back just as we got here ta Dazil. And if I'd stayed, I'd..." Finn stopped himself, then looked at his mother. He wasn't finished with his story and he didn't want to be drilled about Sera just yet, so he chose to leave that tidbit of information for later. "It wasn't until I saw Vehra that I even remembered where I was from. I still don't remember everything. Like, I have no idea who those people in that picture are," Finn pointed to a photograph propped up on the side table beside him. He stared at it.

"Um...Aunt...M - Mi...Mil - something. And I don't remember the guy at all."

"That's your aunt Milda and uncle Tev. From Bledavik. You were gonna stay with them when you were on the trip."

"I don't remember 'em at all. Well, I remember there was somethin' kinda irritating about that guy."

"You probably remember the wrist burns. Uncle Tev always insisted on torturing you and me with 'em when he visited," Vehra said. "And aunt Milda, well...she always insisted you were younger than you were, and my little sister, so she always bought you the cutest little dresses to wear."

"Dresses?" Stratski asked with a chuckle.

"Vehra...don't tell these jerks that!"

"Don't worry, mom and dad never actually made him wear them. Come on, that's just a little TOO weird, ya know? We'd sell 'em in the store or if they weren't too frilly or too small, I'd get 'em."

"You'd sell someone's gift?" Stratski exclaimed.

"Well, what the heck were we gonna do with it? I wasn't wearing lace! No way, uh uh!" Vehra exclaimed.

"What's funny? Something about dresses?" Vance asked, looking confused, as if he didn't fully understand what was going on.

"Don't worry, Vance. We WILL be telling you in Solarian later if you don't fully get it," Stratski said.

"Awww maaaannn..." Finn replied, putting his face in his hands.

"There's that weird language again," Vehra said. "I'm guessing that's what you spoke up there in the sky city?"

"Yeah. Vance is probably having a bit of a hard time following what I'm sayin' 'cause he doesn't speak Lamb language much."

"I know a little," Vance replied hesitantly. "Your accent makes it hard to follow. I spoke it at home, but it's been a long time since I really used it much. I was still a kid."

"You have a Bledavik accent," Vehra said. "Are you from there?"

Vance looked a bit surprised. "Yeah. Originally."

"Heh. I knew it."

"Anyway," Finn said "Do aunt Milda and uncle Tev still visit much?"

"Oh, they died," Vehra said. "They were out travelling in the desert when a sandstorm hit their buggy. Uncle Tev always insisted he could get through a sandstorm and end up no more than a quarter mile off his trail."

"My brother always had more mouth than he did brains. He'd cut off his own head on a dare to prove he was a man. Stupid idiot," Ven said.

"So he and aunt Milda got killed?"

"Took three weeks to find 'em. They got so hopelessly lost, there's no way they'd have found either Bledavik or Dazil. The heat stroke got 'em."

"Dad...tell Finn about what happened after he left," Vehra said.

"Well, after a week, Milda sent us a letter, asking if you were still coming. This got us worried, because we knew you had left in plenty of time, and there hadn't been any sandstorms reported. We sent out a search party to look for you. We eventually found the sand buggy and all your gear, but...you were gone. We knew you wouldn't have wandered out of the camp, we taught you better 'n that. We thought you might've been eaten by a wyrm. But there were no signs of a struggle, so we didn't rule out the possibility you were alive."

"I wouldn't have left the camp, dad. You taught me good."

Ven Broyer stared at his son a long time, saying nothing. He slowly rose and walked over to Finn, who stood up to meet him eye to eye.

"Dad, what is it?"

Wordlessly, Ven wrapped his arms around Finn and held him.

"Good to have you back, son..." he whispered in Finn's ear.

"Dad..."

"I missed you...I was so worried..."

"I'm sorry..."

"Oh, don't start. You couldn't help it."

"So you believe me?"

"Of course I do. You're too dumb to lie and come up with a whopper of a story like that. You never were much good at it."

"Dad..."

His mother came out with the teapot.

"Tea time, everyone!" she said, carefully placing the pot on a mat. "Does everyone have a coaster?"

"Yeah, everyone's got a coaster, mom."

"Good, good," she said, pouring the tea. "It's so good to see you with so many friends, Finny," his mother spoke. "You were usually so lonely, we worried about you."

"Yeah, nobody wanted to play with him because he was a cry baby and a wuss," Vehra said.

"A cry baby?" Stratski asked.

"A wuss?" Helm asked.

"Vehra! Stop it!"

"I taught him how to fight and stick up for himself, but it didn't do much good. He didn't like getting dirty."

"Same old Finn," Stratski spoke.

"Yup."

"I'll bet his room in that Solaris place was so clean you could eat off the floor, right?" Vehra spoke.

"Oh, yeah," Stratski spoke.

"Well, some things never change..." she said.

"Hey, there's nothin' wrong with wantin' yourself and your surroundings to be clean," Finn defended. "That's what mom always says, right?"

"Right. You're a good boy, Finny," his mom said.

"I used to call him 'Immaculate Boy'," Vehra said.

"Hey! Don't call me that!"

"Do you even know what 'immaculate' means, Finn?" Vehra spoke.

"Of course I do! I was called it enough!"

"Then what does it mean?"

"Uh...er...um...something about...virgins and..."

"In that case, it means you're anal-retentively neat," Helm spoke.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I knew that," Finn said sheepishly. Even in Lamb, he didn't know what all the big words meant.

"Yep. Finn, still thick as ever. But...I love him anyway." Vehra hugged him from behind.

"So...would any of you kids like a tour of the store?" Ven asked.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" Helm spoke up. "What about you, Knute?"

"Okay."

"Yeah," Vance agreed.

Ven looked at Renk, who sat quietly on the couch, staring at his feet.

"Something bugging him?" Ven asked.

Finn nodded, and whispered what happened to his father.

"I see..." Ven Broyer said quietly.

Dad...just show the others around, okay? I'll catch up."

"Okay, whatever. Come on, kids. Follow me. Oh! You two...are you sure you should be hobbling about?"

"I'll be fine," Stratski said. "I'll just hobble along in the back. Just go slowly."

Helm nodded in agreement.

"Well...okay. We'll go slowly. This way, gentlemen."

Finn sat next to Renk on the couch.

"Renk, you okay?"

He shook his head. He looked much older than thirty-five, the lines in his face growing deeper.

"I - still can't believe it..."

Finn didn't know what to say. "I guess I can't believe it, either. Everything and everyone's gone. My neighbour was going to lend me his spring shoes...now even he's gone...it's just kinda weird. And Ayra was a great cook. I'll miss her and Danie."

Renk sighed. "I promised them I'd always protect them, and..."

"There wasn't nothin' you coulda done. That red gear was much too strong. Every elite gear pilot in Solaris fought against that guy and we got creamed. Even the Commander."

"I know...but...I still can't help thinking...I failed them..."

Finn sighed, and watched after the others, who hobbled away with his father. "Those guys don't seem ta have a care in the world, ya know? I wish I could feel that kinda comfort. I mean, it's great ta be home but..."

"You're worried about the Lieutenant?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sure she's okay."

"I wish I could think so. I can't help thinkin' the Commander and all of 'em got blown away or caught up in the crash or somethin' really horrible. Ida know."

"You have to have faith in her. She's strong. You said you saw that other gear fly off with her. They've probably got her safe somewhere."

"Yeah. You're right. I guess I shouldn't worry so much, huh?"

"Don't think the worst until you know it's the worst."

Finn was silent, staring at his teacup.

"Here you are so sad and you're helpin' me..."

"I can't help it. It's just me. And...you're right, Finn. I couldn't have saved them. Despite my promise to Ayra...I realize that now. But... I wish...I had a really good chance to say goodbye..."

Finn nodded. "I'm glad ya see that."

Renk sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"You wanna go somewhere quiet?"

Renk nodded lightly.

"Come on. You can lie down in my room. It's sorta small, but it's clean an' cool, and not noisy like it is out here in the front."

Finn led Renk out of the sitting room, and into a small bedroom at the end of the hall. Renk walked in and Finn whistled.

"Wow! Mom's been dustin' the place every day, I bet. It's exactly as I remember leaving it."

"It's - very clean."

"Yeah, well, I like it that way."

Finn bounced on the bed a few times, like a child who had eaten too much chocolate. "Yeah, this old, familiar bed. Nothing like a familiar bed, eh, Renk?"

The eldest of the Special Forces was looking out the window at the far wall, not saying anything at all.

"A familiar bed...there's not going to be such a thing for me now. Not if Ayra's not there beside me."

Finn wasn't sure what to say.

"Sorry, Renk. I wasn't thinkin'."

"It's alright. I'd just like to be alone for awhile."

"Sure. I'll catch up with the guys. You get some rest, okay?"

Renk just continued to look out the window. Finn decided it would be best to leave him be.

_Hmm...I wonder if the store has changed any. I guess I'd better go catch up an' find out..._

* * *

Renk walked around Finn's room slowly, seeing the young man Finn had been years ago, before Solaris had come and changed his life. Of course everything was neat and had its place. There was a poster of some female singer on the wall, very tastefully done. She was very cute and cherub-like. Very much Finn's type, Renk could see it. Finn also appeared to have something for comic books, which was obvious from his bookcase. But most shocking of all to Renk, there was a book of scriptures from the Nisan Church on the bedside table. It looked like it had been read often.

"I had no idea Finn was religious," Renk whispered to himself. "He probably had no idea he was religious."

A teddy bear sat upon his pillow. It was also worn, but still impeccably taken care of, as if it had been one of Finn's first toys.

"Finn had a teddy bear...at his age? He mentioned it was eight years ago. So he was sixteen when he was stolen from his family. Probably out on his first trip alone. Damn Solaris. They ruin the lives of everyone. Rip families from one another. Husbands from wives, fathers from daughters."

His eyes welled with tears again as he thought of his loved ones. The bear reminded him of Danie.

_Oh, Ayra, Danie...if only I'd known, I would have brought you with me. I would have protected you. I'd have found out who I was here, and we could have lived happily. Now...I'll never see your shining eyes again, Ayra, or hear your merry laugh, Danie. I'll never know what kind of a woman you'd have been. But...I imagine you'd have been beautiful, graceful, full of happiness, like your mother. You'd have been loved very much._

_Damn you both for leaving me. Damn that red gear. Damn Solaris. Damn it all!_

Renk resisted the urge to hit or kick something, instead banging his fist on the wall and sinking to his knees. He wiped his eyes again, but wasn't sure why - nobody was looking at him.

_Strong men don't cry. They suck it up and move on_.

That's what they were always told. Military men didn't get upset. They didn't cry. They remained stoic and heartless. After all, their job was fighting, purging, protecting the land. There was no room for weakness.

_Bullshit. How do they expect me to move on and be strong when I've lost so much?_

_"We can't be strong all the time, Renk..." _At first the words belonged to a voice he couldn't remember, but were then overlaid by Ayra's. She had often told him that when he was bothered or upset by something.

_"You're a soft-hearted man. No matter what they say you have to be, or how you have to feel, it can't be stomped out of you. It's just who you are. Don't change for them."_

Again, Ayra's words. There had always been something when his wife had said those kinds of things - something that stirred his heart. He knew there had been someone else in his life who had made him feel warm and loved, but he had never been able to remember who. But he had Ayra, and so the mystery voice had never mattered.

Now he didn't have either one.

_I can't see the path ahead. For me, there is only blackness. I don't know which path to take so I'll merely follow, and hope one day I will be led back into the light._

_I said you'd have been much loved, Danie. That's not entirely true. Rather, it's that you are__ loved, and you will always be loved. And never, ever forgotten._

* * *

The day passed into night as Finn led them all around the sights in Dazil, as he best as he recalled them. The small city had changed little, and almost everyone Finn ran into remembered him.

Finn's mother had prepared a grandiose dinner for the group of men, which they heartily ate. It was the best thing they had eaten in days.

Renk had woken up feeling nominally better, and joined in early enough to get something to eat. He still said very little, and his eyes still occasionally misted up, but the fact he was interested in food gave Finn hope.

After dinner, the five men remained at the dining room table to discuss their plans for the future.

Finn's mother remained in the kitchen, while Ven Broyer went to sit in his chair and read.

"You don't mind if we speak in the Solaris language, do ya? It's more comfortable for Vance 'an stuff," Finn asked his parents.

"No, no, Finny. You talk whatever way makes you the most comfortable. Your friend Vance shouldn't feel left out just so we can eavesdrop. I'm sure you all have some important stuff to talk about that really isn't any of our business."

"Yeah, guys...I'm gonna get the hell out of your way, too," Vehra spoke. "I've got a good book I'm in the middle of I want to get back to."

"G'night, Vehra!" Finn said with a wave.

"Well, I guess this is as close to privacy as we're going to get in a place this small."

"Don't worry, Renk. There's no way my parents will know what we're sayin'. They've never even heard Solarian before today. Besides, I don't think we're gonna talk about anything super-duper secret or anything."

"I don't believe your sister knew I was from Bledavik just from my accent. I don't even speak Lamb that well," Vance said.

Finn replied, "Vehra's good with that kind of thing. I don't know if you understood it, but she knew just from Stratski's name that he's Nortunan." Finn turned to his colleague. "Say, Stratski... _a__re_ you from Nortune?"

"Yeah. Vic and I both are."

"You're from Nortune too, Helm?"

Helm nodded. "Your sister is impressive. I didn't even realize people from Bledavik had accents."

"Well, we get a lot of foreigners comin' through here from all over the world. She's always hangin' around with other salvagers. They all act like they hate each other, but they totally don't. It's kinda like a friendly rivalry between all of them. The ones who've been at it a long time, anyway. A lot of guys come expectin' ta strike it rich, then realize it's hard work and no guarantee of good money and then leave. But there's a handful of 'em who've been around forever."

"Ahh, I get it now," Vance said. "That's how you know so much about salvaging. That's what Vehra does for a living."

"Oh, yeah. And she's really good at it, too. She can take a gear engine clear apart in five minutes and have the whole thing near stripped in an hour. By herself. She's the one who showed me how to do it, even though I'm not even close ta as fast as she is. I guess that's how I learned so much about gears an' why they put me ta work at the factory in Etrenank. Even though I kinda think I prefer gear combat."

"Really? I prefer taking gears apart," Vance said.

"Considerin' how much fun you were havin' takin' Clawknight apart, I'm kinda not surprised."

"Yeah, but I'm looking forward to turning the parts into other things more."

"Vance took Clawnight apart?" Stratski asked.

"Heh! Oh, yeah! I thought he was fixin' her at first, but when I saw him yankin' out a tracking controller and shovin' it in his bag, I knew he was takin' her apart instead. You shoulda seen the look on his face! Like a kid with a bag of candy!"

"Finn...stop. Please..."

"Sorry, Vance. I was just tellin' em how much you liked doin' it. You kept pulling out the boards and playin' with 'em ta try and figure out what they did or somethin'. You looked like one of those hacks."

"Hacks?" Stratski questioned.

"You know...those people who goof around with computers 'n stuff."

"A hacker?" Vance spoke. "You got it. That's what I did before I was in Gebler."

"Really?" Helm spoke.

"Yeah. I was a computer ace. Built my first computer when I was eleven using scraps my dad brought home from the factory. I know the innards of gears and computers like my own hand. And we won't start on the interesting things I can do with software..."

"That's strange," Helm spoke.

"What is?"

"That kind of talent Solaris wouldn't waste in Gebler. What happened?"

Vance looked at his colleague, brushing him off with his glance. "Never mind. None of your business." His words had never been so cold off Drive.

Helm backed off. "Okay, sorry I asked, then."

"So, uh...when did youse guys remember you were from Nortune?" Finn asked to change the subject.

Helm began, "When we were stationed on the surface in Bledavik, Knute and I went out one night to see a festival. When I was there...I began to get visions, flashes...of my life before I came to Solaris. I ignored them at the time, but then I started having dreams. I remembered Knute and I growing up together in Nortune. I knew we had always been friends, but I could never remember how we met. When I told Knute about it, he told me he was having the same dreams. We felt it was too big a co-incidence to ignore, so we tried to figure it out together."

"That was right after we bombed Nortune, just before we got sent back to Etrenank. That's when we remembered it all. How we had been kidnapped, and sent to the facility in Etrenank for assessment and reprogramming. It might have been the contact with Nortune that shook everything loose, but who knows? Anyway, Vic remembers far more than I do."

"The memories will come back to you when they're meant to," Helm said.

"Yeah, yeah. It'd be a lot better if you'd help with the gaping holes."

"You'll get them back when you're mentally ready to get them back."

"Hmph. Whatever, Vic. I just think you're trying to hide something from me."

Helm's stoic expression changed ever so slightly. "Why would I have anything to hide?"

"Well, I don't know. If it's what I think, then I already know. Even though I'm pretty sure you haven't remembered it yet. But...I'm not getting into it here."

"Then enlighten me later, Knute. I'm curious."

"Nope. You'll remember it when you're mentally prepared to remember it. See? Now you know how it feels."

"Well, if you're going to put it that way then you're right - I don't need to know yet."

"You're no fun."

"Oh, I know. I'm not known for my glowing sense of humour," Helmholz said in a complete deadpan.

"Bullshit!" Stratski said. "It's a ruse. You've always been the mastermind in our pranks. All throughout school. Even in Jugend. I'm surprised we weren't expelled and sent to the Soylent some of those times."

"I don't know what you mean. I've always been a perfectly well-behaved gentleman."

"You guys went to school together here on the surface?" Vance asked.

"Yes," Helm said. "Miller Gordon's School for Boys on the outskirts of lovely Asimila, Kislev. Private rich kids boarding school. You know - 'Send your kids away and don't think about 'em' type of school. Knute and I roomed together there. That's where we met when we were kids."

"I was twelve, he was fourteen. And we were hell raisers. If a prank was pulled, it was almost always us, or we had a hand in it somehow."

Helm rolled his eyes. "YOU were a hell raiser. I merely went along with your schemes. I don't know what sort of picture you're trying to paint of me, Knute."

"Oh, right, Vic. I could not have thought up the great 'cheese' incident myself. It was too damn brilliant."

"Well, okay. Maybe I thought of some things. But not even close to as often as you."

"It was _always_ you, asshole!" Stratski said.

Your memory must still be faulty. But never mind."

Stratski shoved Helm hard in his chair. Helm laughed a moment, then went back to his stoic expression.

"So were you thinking of going back to Bledavik, Vance?" Stratski asked.

"No," Vance said with a sigh. "I've got no reason to go back there. All I want to do is go somewhere I'll have room to tinker with these parts. I can do that anywhere."

"You could come to Nortune. That's where Vic and I are going."

"You want to see your families again?"

"Hell, no. I honestly couldn't care less," Helm said.

"There's a Battling Arena there," Stratski said. "We were thinking we could arrange a few gigs there. After all, we're Gebler elite. We could probably kick the asses of most of those hacks and prove ourselves. We could even become so good and popular, we'll be the heroes of young future gear pilots all over Kislev. Just like how we admired them when we were kids, right, Vic?"

"Yes," Helm replied.

"Interested, Vance?"

"I think I want to get away from gear combat. However, I wouldn't mind seeing Nortune from the ground. In the end, though - I think I'll go where Renk goes for the time being. If he decides to come with you guys, then I'm in. As long as I have a table to use, that's all I need."

"I'm sure a table is pretty standard for accommodations anywhere in the city."

"So what about it, Renk? What were you thinking of doing now?"

He sighed. "The only thing I have left is you guys. So...I guess... all that's left is to follow you. Maybe I'll even find out if I was taken, too."

"Do you have memories from your childhood at all?" Vance asked.

Renk shook his head. "First thing I really remember is training camp. There's been the odd flicker of...something...here and there, but nothing solid."

"So then you have to be from down here somewhere, too."

"I'll bet you're from Aveh," Stratski spoke. "Somewhere here in the desert. Bledavik or one of the outlying towns closer to the coast. You're kinda dark like most people from Aveh."

"Yes, I'd say that's a good guess," Helm stated.

"Who knows? Maybe you have family who are missin' ya, just like my family missed me!" Finn spoke. "Maybe you do have somethin' down here 'sides us!"

Renk smiled lightly. "Maybe. Who knows? But...I suppose for now, I'll follow you all to Nortune."

"Then that's where I'm going, too," Vance said.

"I think we should go as soon as possible," Helm said. "By the time we get there, we should both be up to riding gears again, right Knute?"

Stratski nodded. "So let's go tomorrow. I'm really anxious to get there."

"Tomorrow is perfect. I admit, this place is a little too hot for my tastes," Helm said.

"Besides, we shouldn't impose on Finn's parents any longer than we have to," Renk said. "And with Gebler possibly looking for me, I don't want to put them in danger by staying an extended period of time."

Ven Broyer stood and came to the table. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but it sounds like you guys are making plans of where to head off to now. Am I right?"

"Yes," Helm said. "The four of us have decided we're going to Nortune. We'll be leaving tomorrow."

"Nortune, huh?" Ven asked. "It's gonna be a week by long-distance sand buggy to get there. You'll need a smooth-sailing one, so Mr. Helmholz and Mr. Stratski won't aggravate their injuries. And Nortune's an expensive town. Why don't you all just stay here? There's plenty to do here around the store, and you're all perfectly welcome to call our home yours."

"Dad..."

"Finny, I'd love to have your friends as guests. You've all been through a lot, and if it's a home they need..."

"But dad...Helm and Stratski's home is Nortune. And Renk wants to find his. I've found you guys, so these guys should go find the people who make them happy."

"I see..." Ven said. "I guess it is important to you. But don't you think you should stay a few days more? Because of Mr. Stratski and Mr. Helmholz's injuries. I mean, a long-distance sand buggy should go slow enough you shouldn't have any issues, but travel can take it out of a person."

"It's really nice of you to offer, but we want to be on our way. We're anxious to get home, now that we're able to," Stratski added. "I have a lot of unanswered questions I hope to have come back to me when I get there."

"Oh, is that your true motivation?"

"Oh, and it's not partly yours, Vic?"

"Of course it is."

Ven smiled, and it mirrored Finn's. "Well, okay. If you all want to head home, I suppose I shouldn't try to stop you. But what I can do is talk to my friend at the sand buggy depot. He owes me a few favours. I'll see what I can arrange as transport for you. I'm assuming if you can drive gears, driving a sand buggy shouldn't pose any difficulty at all. And you'll need supplies for your journey. We _are_ the supply store, so I guess you're in the right place. And you'll need some money to get you started in Nortune. Consider it all a gift from the Broyer family to the men who looked after my son and finally helped bring him back to us."

"That's very generous of you," Stratski said.

"Yes," Helm agreed. "Thank you very much."

"It's the least we can do! Now you gentlemen should all think about getting some sleep before your journey. I'll see what Edda can whip up for blankets and mattresses."

Finn's father departed, leaving the five alone.

"So what are you going to do now, Finn?" Vance asked.

The large man sighed. "Y'know...I don't know. I mean, I wanna stay here 'cause it's where I belong. And dad needs my help. But...I wanna keep looking for Sera, too... I dunno. I'm kinda torn."

"I noticed you haven't brought her up."

"Are you kiddin' me?" Finn exclaimed. "I don't want my mom grillin' me all about it! If I told her I had a girlfriend, she wouldn't leave me alone and it's all she'd wanna talk about for days. And I kinda don't want to dwell on the fact Sera's missin' and could be really badly hurt, or...well. Yeah."

"Even if she is okay, do you think she'd really want to still see you after how you talked to her?" Helm said.

"Huh? I don't get what you mean."

"Hey, he doesn't remember that," Vance said.

"You don't remember how much of a jerk you were to her during the battle?" Stratski said.

"Guys...now's not the right time..." Vance said.

"I think he should know," Helm said. "You know how Drive makes you, Finn?"

"Well...kinda. I know what youse guys have told me."

Stratski stepped in. "Well, you were particularly idiotic in the battle, and you called her a stupid wench. Over the open channel, so everyone heard you."

"Twice," Helm added.

"I did not!" Finn exclaimed.

"Um, yeah. You did," Stratski confirmed.

Finn looked upset. "Vance? Is it true? Did I really...did I really..."

"Well, um...actually...yeah."

Finn looked like he was going to cry. "Oh, no. I didn't...tell me I didn't... Tell me that's not the last thing I said ta her! I didn't mean it! I don't really feel that way!"

"It was the Drive talking, Finn. Don't worry about it..."

"Of course I'm gonna worry about it! What if she hates me? What if she's dead and that's the last thing I ever said ta her?"

"Don't worry, Finn. It's going to be okay. She knows it's not like you to say stuff like that."

"No she doesn't! We've only known each other a few days! She probably thinks I'm the biggest jerk EVER!"

"Then you'll have to prove her wrong," Vance said. "When we find her. She doesn't strike me as a person who holds grudges forever. You'll have to find her so you can apologize and prove it to her. The Finn on Drive isn't the real Finn. And none of us are ever going to need that stuff again, right?"

"R-right..."

"That's oddly sentimental coming from you, Vance," Stratski said.

"Yeah, and so? Did they give you guys de-sensitivity training at Jugend? Because the lack of tact _isn't_ odd out of either of you," Vance replied.

"Hey...we thought he should know," Stratski shrugged. "Better than a rude wake-up call when they meet again."

"Yeah...Helm and Stratski are right," Finn said, wiping his eyes. "I'm glad youse guys told me. And now... I know I've gotta find her. I've just gotta some day. 'Cause I've gotta apologize and tell her I don't think she's a wench. 'Cause I really think she's the most wonderful girl in the world." Finn stood. "I'm gonna get some air, youse guys. You and Helm can fight over the couch. Vance, you can go sleep on my bedroom floor. I think Renk might want the bed back, right?"

Renk nodded lightly. "As long as you don't mind, Finn."

"Nah. I'll be fine. Don't worry 'bout it, Renk."

"Are you all going to sleep now?" Finn's mother said, coming into the room.

"Yeah, ma. Dad's right. We're really tired. It's been a long couple of days."

"Well, then...I'll set up the air mattresses I got from the storeroom. I couldn't possibly expect your friends to sleep on the hard floor. Mr. Stratski will probably be fine on the couch - he's short enough. But Mr. Helmholz's injuries mean he should be as comfortable as possible. I'll be right back, dears!"

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have Finn's bed?"

"The air mattress should be just as comfortable," Helm said.

Renk shrugged. "Well, if you insist."

"Like I said youse guys...I'm goin' out for some air. Get some sleep, 'kay?"

Finn wandered outside, the banter of his friends as they organized the sleeping arrangements fading in the background.

Finn breathed in the crisp, clean air over the desert night. The stars lit up the sky in a spectacular light show.

"They're really bright, aren't they?" Vehra asked. Finn swung around to see she had come up behind him.

"Yeah. Didn't see them like this in Solaris. Something about having too many lights around. Oh, and yeah. I guess we were kinda upside-down..."

Vehra looked at him, confused. "Upside-down?"

"Yeah. Etrenank was upside-down, even though when we were there you couldn't tell. I don't get how or why, either. Lots of stuff like that I still didn't understand. It just kinda was. Anyway, I've missed the stars lots."

"Yeah, you've missed out on a lot of things. Do you remember when we used to sneak out here in the middle of the night and watch the stars together?"

Finn thought back. "Kinda. We had to sneak out?"

"Yep, we did. One night dad caught us still up here really late, and was he ever hopping mad. We got in such trouble."

"I remembered something about him being mad. But I couldn't remember why he was."

"Well, it was three in the morning. I guess I can understand why he was mad." Vehra sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Huh? Why?"

"For doubting you. For doubting you'd be back."

"You really didn't think I'd be back?"

"Well...not really. I was sure you'd become a wyrm's breakfast."

"Hey, it's okay. It was kinda a fluke I ended up back here, anyway."

"I like to think it was fate."

"Fate?"

"Yeah. Your rendezvous was close to Dazil. I happened to be walking down the street in just the right place to see you. If I'd decided to go the other way, I'd have never run into you, and I probably would have never seen you. Something made me take the long way today. I can't explain it."

"That's weird."

"Yeah, it sure is. But...it made me run into you, and it's great to see you again."

"Yeah, I'm happy, too."

Vehra brushed the hair out of her eyes. "I like your friends, too."

"Yeah, well, they're good guys."

"Your friend Renk is kind of quiet. Like he has a lot on his mind."

"He lost his wife and kid when Etrenank fell, and he's really broken up about it."

"Oh...I see."

"We're givin' him some space to be alone and stuff if he wants to. We're all just hopin' he'll be okay."

"These things take time, Finn. It's only been a couple days, right? It's still fresh. Give him time. He'll be alright, with any luck," Vehra said.

"Yeah, I guess. Say...you knew Vance was from Bledavik, and Stratski was from Nortune."

"Helmholz, too. 'Helmholz', very Nortunan."

"Well, yeah. He is, too. But do you have any idea where Renk might be from?"

Vehra shook her head. "Can't pinpoint it. 'Renk' is a popular name here in Aveh, but it's not uncommon up north, either. I've met three of them in the last couple years, and all three were from some place completely different."

"His last name's 'Elcide'."

"Hmm...never heard it before. It doesn't have anything distinct in in that can help me. Not like the 'ski' on Stratski or the 'holz' in Helmholz. And he's barely spoken since I met him - not in our language, anyway. Not enough for me to know where he could be from. I guess he's on his own."

"Hmm...that's too bad. At least if he had a clue or somewhere to start, he might be able to find his family down here and start feelin' better.*sigh* Maybe he was just born in Solaris like Ayra was. That kinda makes it even sadder."

"Something's bugging you, too. Is there something on your mind, Finn?"

"Nah. Not really."

"Finn Broyer, don't lie to me. I can always tell."

"It's nothin'. Forget it."

"It's a girl, isn't it?"

"Well...yeah, it is."

"A girlfriend?"

"Well, yeah. I guess so. She's...she's just great."

"You're worried about her, right?"

"Yeah. I don't know whether she's dead or alive or whatever. I just wish I knew. And I just found out I was a huge jerk and I said some bad stuff to her I don't remember sayin' at all! And I'm so worried that even if I find her again, she won't forgive me."

"Oh, Finn...you don't have even an inkling of a malicious streak in you. I'm sure she knows that. We all say stupid stuff to people sometimes."

"Yeah, but...we haven't known each other long and she might not know that."

"Then you'll have to prove it to her when you see her again."

"Heh...Vance said the same thing."

"Well, he's right. So, Finn. Tell me more about her. What's her name?"

"A couple things. Lieutenant Owens. Lieutenant Seraphita. Her friends call her Sera. Me too. She thought of me as a friend, obviously. More...I think. I know I did."

"Did you kiss her?" Vehra asked.

"Yeah. More than once."

"Then she's more than a friend, then."

"Yeah, I guess."

"I imagine this girl is cute. Cherub-like. Sweet smile."

"Hey, yeah! How did you know?"

"I know your type, Finn. The girls you always had a crush on were always like that. Like Excella Bright."

"Excella Bright?"

"That singer you had a wicked crush on. She stopped singing a few years ago, but she was really popular here in Aveh when we were kids. I don't believe you don't remember her."

"I'm sure I'll remember her eventually. Still...no matter how cute she was, I bet my Sera is ten...no, twenty times cuter!"

Vehra laughed. "Finn, you're blushing redder than an ariberry, you know? You have got it really, really bad."

"Aw, come on! Don't tease me!"

"But you _are_ red. Don't worry. It's not a bad thing to be a little smitten with someone," Vehra smiled and her eyes grew distant for a moment. "It happens to the best and worst of us. Believe me."

Finn sighed. "Yeah. I guess. I just hope I can see her again. I feel so bad I was a jerk. "

"Well, the place you're from is a bit of a shambles right now, I guess. So maybe if you wait a bit, the dust will settle. And then you'll be able to find her and apologize. I'm sure if she's as cute as you say, she'll forgive you with no problem. If she knows the real Finn Broyer, that is. I don't ever think I've seen you cruel or nasty in my entire life. It's just not in you, Finn."

"But the guys told me I did say bad things. I don't remember it at all, but then again, the Drive makes me kinda..."

"Drive?"

"Oh. It's a drug they used to make us take when we battled. I took some when we were all tryin' to defend Etrenank. Don't worry - it's not addictive or anythin', so I'll be okay back down here. The guys have told me it made me kinda mean sometimes. But I don't ever remember anything I say when I'm like that. I know it doesn't sound like me, but ya know...I don't see why they'd lie. But I dunno. I wonder - does that stuff make a person who isn't nasty nasty, or is it just bringin' out somethin' deep inside people they don't normally show?"

"That's pretty insightful for someone like you."

"Really? It's really kinda obvious ta me."

"Regardless...I know you, Finn. You're sweet and kind. And completely harmless. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a breaking point where they just have the potential to lose it. Even you. It's just...it takes a hell of a lot of pushing to get you there. I've only seen you there once, and even then...it wasn't a frightening thing. You just got pushed to tears and frustration and kind of withered up into a little ball. It was kind of funny to watch, actually."

"I don't think it's funny, ya know."

"Of course you wouldn't! But you didn't see it like I did. Besides, as your sister, it's my job to laugh when you look stupid, right? Anyway...don't worry, Finn. That drug is not who you are. It's not who you're ever going to be. Even on your worst day, you're a pussycat."

"Uh...okay. Thanks...I guess?"

"Finn... Just so you know...I love you. And I missed you like hell. If you're ever going to leave again, at least say goodbye and write us sometimes."

"I'm sorry, Vehra. I woulda if I coulda."

"I know. I know, Finn. You really weren't in a position to, thanks to that country that kidnapped you. But now that you remember, don't ever forget us again, okay?"

"Okay."

Vehra rocked on her feet a moment.

"Dad...was talking about you staying here in Dazil and working for the store again. But I don't know what you want to do. I know you've probably got to find your girl. But...dad's not a young man anymore, and nobody's ever been able to replace you as a salesman. It'd be wonderful to have you here again. But...I don't think it's fair for us to even ask you. You've been through so much, and you have such wonderful friends. You don't even remember everything about us anymore."

Finn stared off into the night. "Yeah, I know. But...it doesn't mean I don't love you guys."

"But you love Sera, too, right?"

"Yeah. I do. Even though she's a slob, I love her."

"Wow...it _is_ love, then."

"Yeah...but...I don't know if I'd only be searchin' to find out the worst. And if I'll find out the last stuff I ever said to her was really bad. It's better to be able to hope we'll be able to see one another again so I have a chance to apologize and try again with her, then to find out she's dead. I know dad and mom really need help with the store, and even though I couldn't help it, I can't help feelin' a little guilty for not bein' here and helping out. I think I wanna stay here with you guys for awhile, and remember who you guys are. Then, when I know things are fine and the time's sorta right, I'll look for my buddies and Sera. And make things right."

"They're going to move on to Nortune, aren't they?"

"Yeah. Dad gave 'em some money and he's arrangin' a sand buggy. They're gonna go tomorrow. Stratski's kinda gung-ho about going."

"How dangerous is it for them to stay here?"

"Well, I dunno. Depends on whether Solaris is looking for us or not. Renk said they aren't. But to be safe, it's better they get outta here before they can track 'em. It'll be easier for one person to hide than five."

"Yes, I see. You don't have any money?"

"Well, we've got money, but it's Solaris money, and you can't use it here. They took surface money in Solaris, but I don't think it works the other way around, since Solaris was kinda secret and stuff. But don't worry - dad's already offered them supplies and some money."

"Well, I got a bit of a windfall over the last couple days, too... I was going to buy a new excavator gear with it, but I suppose under the circumstances, I should really pass it on to them for their journey. Considering it's possible that...hm. Anyway, Nortune's an expensive place, and they'll need all the help they can get."

"You'd do that for them? Oh, Vehra, that's so nice!"

"Yeah, yeah. Your friends mean a lot to you. And it is nice to see you with real friends. So we'll help them because they were so good to you. Here. I got it ready. Give it to them before they leave."

She gave him a small bag of money and closed his fingers over it.

"Thanks, Vehra."

"Don't mention it. Say, do those guys have somewhere to go when they get there? To Nortune, I mean?"

"Well...I dunno. I didn't think about that. You think they'll be okay?"

"Hmm...it depends on whether they have people they know there, like a family."

"I know Helm said he's not interested in seein' his family. Stratski didn't say anythin' at all, so I don't know. Vance is from Bledavik, but he doesn't want to go there. He wants to stay with Renk. An' like I said, Renk hasn't talked about where he's from. I don't think he remembers. But he's too sad now to think about all that."

"Well, I'm sure either Helm or Stratski will have family who can help them out if they get desperate enough. You've just gotta cross your fingers and hope."

"Yeah."

"So, are you coming inside?"

Finn nodded. "In a couple minutes. I kinda wanted to just stay out here for a bit and stuff, like I used to."

"Okay." Vehra pecked him on the cheek affectionately. "Good night, Finn."

She left him alone to look out over the Dazil night.

_Who woulda ever thought Solaris would crash down and I'd end up here, back where I belong? That I would even remember I had another place ta belong? If anyone'd told me that last week, Ida laughed my ass off. But - it's here, it's happened. A lot of stuff's still foggy, but I remember a lot of things and people I didn't even know were missin'. Now I kinda understand why I'm like the way I am. I'm a little of mom and a little of dad... I know who the Broyers are. Instead 'a one, I'm four. Even though...there's still one missin'._

_The woman who might one day become a Broyer. Maybe._

_Perhaps I always kinda knew it. Sounds kinda dumb. I've only known her for three days. But Sera means so much ta me...I never believed in love at first sight before I met her. But I guess I'm kinda livin' proof. We are, I mean. 'Cause I know she loves me, too. Or she did. Before I called her a stupid wench._

_I've gotta have faith that she'll forgive me. I've gotta, or it'll hurt too much. _

* * *

A young girl screamed and it was followed by his own. He tried to turn away from the horrible images, but they wouldn't allow him to. They held his head tight on the scene...the horror of what he had done to them burning into his mind.

"No...no...let me look away...don't make me watch anymore!" he pleaded.

"When one commits a crime, they must suffer the consequences. It is because of what you did they must suffer like this!" a harsh man's voice barked.

Vance choked back bitter tears, closing his eyes, the only thing he could do. But he still saw the whole thing through his eyelids, he didn't need to see to imagine.

His eyes snapped opened, and the only scream left was his own.

It took a moment for Vance to realize where he was. Finn's house in Dazil. Far away from the time his dreams wouldn't allow him to forget.

"Hey...Vance..." came Renk's voice softly in the darkness.

"Um...did I wake you up? Sorry..." Vance apologized.

"Never mind. I wasn't sleeping well anyway."

Vance nodded.

"What's up, kid?"

"Nothing. I'm okay."

"Doesn't sound like it."

"Renk, do you have any Drive left?"

"No. Why?" Renk asked quizzically.

Vance rose in a daze. "Maybe one of the other guys has some left. I have to have it. I have to have it..."

"Hey, hey, now wait a minute!" Renk said, grabbing Vance's arm. "You don't need that stuff anymore. What's going on? Have you been sleeping? You've got these dark circles under your eyes."

Vance said nothing. He had thought escaping from Solaris would take away the horrible dreams, but this had proven his problem was far from over.

He kept shaking his head, as the quaking in his body came over him. He couldn't help making himself as small as he could, hunched against the bed.

"I'm so tired...why can't I sleep...why can't they just let me sleep?"

"What? What won't let you sleep?"

"The nightmares! Those damn nightmares!"

"Nightmares?" Renk questions.

Vance shook his head more vigorously, but said nothing.

"Vance? Are you gonna be okay?"

"I don't know...I don't know...I thought when Solaris fell they would go away..."

"I don't understand...what nightmares?"

Vance opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it. It had weighed so heavily on his mind, but he still couldn't talk about it. Not even with Renk.

"Never mind. Never mind, okay? I'll be alright. Just let me sit here quietly. I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's happened before. I'll be okay."

Renk nodded. "If you insist. But...feel free to wake me if you change your mind."

"Worry about yourself, Renk. You've got a lot on your mind without taking on my problems."

"Hey, isn't it my duty? We've got no gears anymore and my rank has technically been stripped from me, but it doesn't mean I don't stand by you guys anymore."

"Yeah, I guess. But...I'll be fine. I'll have to be fine."

"Okay. But I'm here. Now I'm going back to sleep."

Vance nodded as Renk crawled back in bed.

The young man stared into the darkness, thinking.

_It's all my fault, you know. The reason I'm being punished with these bad dreams is to make up for the sin I committed that gave me them. If only I hadn't been so desperate, maybe they would all be here with me now._

_No, I'd be dead. I'd be dead with Etrenank and all the Solarians. Had I not done it, I would have never entered Gebler, and I'd have been a sitting duck. I wouldn't have even known what hit me, the red gear was so fast._

_But why do those thoughts make me feel so guilty? Because I know they're selfish, horrible and so typically - me. Why do I always think only for myself without considering the consequences? That's what got me into this._

_I'm free now, but I'll never gain true freedom until I end the war within my mind. If only someone or something could help me end it. Something more permanent and less harmful than Drive._

* * *

Throbbing.

_Crap...not again. The pain killers here just aren't as good as they are in Solaris. Damn..._

Knute sat up on the couch and held his ankle. It had fallen off the side of the couch, and the blood flowing into his foot made the pain worse.

_This damn couch is too narrow for this. I'm supposed to keep my ankle elevated, but it keeps falling off and over the edge. But I couldn't possibly expect Vic to sleep on this couch with his injuries. They're far worse than my ankle. But ohhh, how I covet the air bed Finn's mom found for him. I covet it like mad._

_I really, really need a bed. But what am I going to do? Kick Renk out of Finn's bed and tell him to get the hell out? Even I'm not that much of an asshole._

Knute rose to his feet, grabbing the crutch to balance himself. Maybe he would go outside to get some air and then try the sleep thing again.

_Hmm...desert nights are kind of chilly...never would have thought..._

"Can't sleep?"

He jumped a moment, but quickly located the source of the voice. Vehra was on the roof of the flat-topped house, lying on her back. She rolled quickly up on her haunches and rose, coming quickly down to stand beside him at the front of the house.

"So...ankle bothering you too much?"

"Well, it is a bit sore. But I'm sort of used to this."

"Accident prone? I knew a guy like that once. Always hurting himself. He was quite the character. He eventually hurt himself so badly he had to quit salvaging and go back home. You know, people like you just shouldn't have dangerous jobs. Too risky."

"I agree with you there. But...I am good at what I do. Strangely, I'm not accident prone when I'm piloting. Only when I'm trying to walk. Or stand up straight. Or when I'm climbing stairs. That's pretty common, actually."

Vehra laughed a moment. "I'm not the kind of girl who normally uses 'cute' as a description, but I admit, I find it cute."

"Really, now?"

She nodded. "But if anyone asks, I never said that."

"Okay."

"Say... were you looking for a comfortable bed to sleep in? I know the couch is sort of narrow and lumpy."

"Well, if there's one you can think of, it would be great."

"Well...there is my bed."

Stratski stood in stunned silence for a moment, then smiled wryly.

"Pervert!" she said, hitting him on the arm. "Not with me in it, of course! Geez... Men..."

"Oh. Er... so you'd offer your bed to me?"

"Not that I would. That I am. Come on. It's getting cold out here, and you're going to need your rest tomorrow. I've heard travelling takes it out of a person."

Knute followed Vehra back into the Broyer house and down a small hallway he hadn't seen before when he had been on the grand tour.

"This little nook is the closest thing I have to my own place. It used to be a storeroom, but we moved it into what used to be my bedroom and they put me in here. Yeah, I'm sure you really care. Wow, I'm a barrel of laughs, tonight. Sorry."

"I don't mind."

"Yeah, you do. You don't have to pretend. I bet a Nortunan like yourself isn't at all impressed with a tiny little hellhole like Dazil, huh?"

"Actually, I think it's quite nice."

"Hmmph...nice. Nah, no. Nisan is nice. Dazil is a rock ball in the middle of frickin' nowhere."

"I've never been to Nisan. That I remember, anyway."

"Remember? Are you having the same problem as Finn? With the memory wipe and all that?"

"Well, yeah. Only it's taking its time coming back to me. I wish I was more like Finn in that way, just remembering so much at once like that. If it wasn't for Vic, I'd probably still be hopeless."

"Your friend, Helmholz? His name is Vic?"

"Well...technically it's 'Victor'. But...the only one who ever calls him that is his father, and he doesn't get along with his father, so... And the others, well...they just prefer Helm or Helmholz. Vic's never invited them to call him anything else, And, well...while some people you just get to a point where you know it's okay to be on a first name basis, most people would tell you Vic's not one to be comfortable with it. Mind you, the others still call me Stratski, which is okay. I figure they'll just know when it's okay to start calling me Knute. You know."

"But it's fine if I call you Knute, right?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, why not?"

"Then I'll call you Knute. Stratski is far too formal for my tastes."

"Fine."

"Is it short for 'Kanute'?" she asked.

Knute's face shrivelled up in disgust. "No! Why do people always assume that? I hate that name! Well, I'm not terribly fond of 'Knute', either...but it's better than 'Kanute'..."

Vehra shrugged. "Sorry. It's just - normally it's short for 'Kanute'. I've met two other Knutes that were short for 'Kanute', and not one where it was otherwise."

"Eh, don't worry about it. That's why I get it so much." He sat down on the bed when she motioned to it. She took a seat in the desk chair.

"So...is it so obvious from my name I'm Nortunan?"

"Oh, yeah. With the 'ski' and all. I've met lots of travellers. We get lots of foreigners here all the time, coming here and expecting to make a fortune doing excavating. Some of 'em are lucky, others aren't. They come, they go. Lots of people from Nortune, or there was before the war flared up and they closed the border. I imagine we'll get a bunch more again now that there are peace talks between Kislev and Aveh again."

"You keep yourself informed about what's happening in the world, huh?"

"There's nothing else of interest to do in this town except look beyond it. Some day, I swear I'm going to get out of this rock ball."

"Any idea of where you want to go?"

"Oh, I don't know. I was thinking Bledavik might be nice. Nortune would be exciting and everything, but it's cold there half the year, and my desert-born ass would probably suffer greatly up there."

"Just like I find this desert heat pretty unbearable."

"The nights aren't so bad."

"Nah, I know. Actually, they're a little chilly."

Vehra reached for something beside her on the floor.

"Then take this blanket!" She threw it at him unceremoniously, and it landed on his head.

"Thanks," he spoke dryly, but wrapped it around his shoulders.

Vehra laughed a moment.

"What's funny?"

"Mmm...hmmm...oh, nothing."

"No, really. What?" "You look like a little kid, all wrapped up like that."

He stared at her, closed his eyes and frowned. "I do not."

"Hmph! You look even more like one when you pout like that."

He picked up the pillow and threw it at her. "Heh! I do not!"

Vehra blocked the toss. "Jerk!" she said with a laugh, the tossed the pillow back towards him, yet it missed the target.

The pair laughed.

"One-one. We're even," Knute said.

"Yeah," she said, clearing her throat. "So what was the weather like in that Solaris place?"

"Always sunny and temperate. They'd occasionally simulate rain if we needed it for some reason, but the weather was pretty much artificial. I bet the sunlight was fake and altered, too...considering the fact the whole place had upside-down gravity and the sun hardly strikes below a shadow."

"Yeah, Finn was mentioning something about that. I don't think I'd like everything fake. Even though...the upside-down gravity makes no sense to me. How the hell is that even possible?"

Knute shrugged. "Technology. I suppose. I don't know why they did it that way. But it makes the first few hours back down here or back up there a bit uncomfortable until you adjust to it."

"Are you adjusted to it now?"

"Yeah, now. But I'm willing to bet part of the reason why I tripped and fell over so ungracefully might have been because I was still a bit off-balance."

It probably wasn't true, but if it gave him an excuse for his klutziness, then he decided to run with it.

"That place was really weird, then. Then again, weather-wise it sounds a lot like here, except instead of temperate, we're fucking hot scorch death and nothing else. Or so the travellers tell me. I'm used to it, growing up here and everything. Doesn't mean I don't roast some days. That's why we take two hours off at the hottest part of the day. It makes the day more bearable. Some of the foreigners don't take our advice and get their asses in trouble. Marcus almost always has one or two newbies in his office at midday, down with heat stroke."

"I saw a couple guys come in while Vic was resting."

"Yeah. Guys from up north who don't know any better, most likely."

"Dr. Strop said Vic and I were lucky to have crashed not too far from here. If we'd tried to travel too far at midday, especially Vic in his condition, we'd have been in trouble."

"Well, lucky you did. Then I wouldn't have met you."

"And what would the world do without wonderful me?" Knute spoke with a laugh.

"Oh, Mr. Suave. Sorry, not impressed." Vehra laughed, but not mockingly. Knute laughed as well.

"You know, it's not so bad to have a dream of leaving your world behind. Hell, Vic and I did. I don't remember everything, but I do remember we were rich kids. And our parents didn't want to let us be who we wanted to be. So we ran away from home to do as we pleased. Maybe it was stupid doing so young. I was 17, Vic was 19. But it worked out fine until the Solaris part, and even that wasn't so bad, I guess. How old are you, Vehra?"

"Twenty-six."

"Heh. Me, too. I think. Neither Vic or I can remember what my birthday was, so we aren't exactly sure. But I'm in that age range. Anyway, if you hate Dazil so much, why don't you just go?"

"I..." She paused a moment, her mouth hanging open.

"Heh! That's a silly expression, there. You look like a fish gasping for air."

She shook her head. "Never seen a fish in real life, but if they're as ugly as in pictures, you, KNUTE Stratski, are dead."

"Oh, they're ugly, all right. Well, not all of them. Some salt water fish are beautiful."

"So which am I?"

"Which one will keep me alive?"

Vehra laughed wickedly. "If you have to ask, you die."

"Oh, geez. Then definitely the first kind."

"Ooh! You die!"

"Then kill me."

Vehra jumped to tackle him to the bed.

"Ugly, am I? Heh...maybe so. But I'm strong. Much stronger than your scrawny ass."

"That's true...can't -urf- debate that..." He struggled to get up, but he couldn't.

"Heh..." she let him up and sat beside him at the edge of the bed.

"Nah," Knute said, looking right into her face. "You're not ugly, Vehra. In fact...I think you're quite pretty."

"Really? Not just trying to flatter me?"

"Nah. Would I have approached you this morning in the first place if I didn't think so? There are a lot of women in Dazil. I could have approached any of them. But I didn't." He looked at the ceiling a moment. "Anyway, you never answered my question."

"Mmmmhmm...that's because you started comparing me to a fish."

"Yeah. I did, didn't I?" Knute laughed. "So why don't you just leave, then?"

She was a bit quicker coming up with an answer. "Because I have a job here."

"Oh, yeah. Finn told us you're a salvager. A damn good one, apparently."

"Is that idiot embarrassing me again? Well...yeah. I guess I _am _pretty good..."

"Not interested in helping run the store?"

Vehra laughed. "Yeah, sure! My parents gave up on my sorry ass the minute Finn was old enough to sell stuff. I'm just not charming enough, you see? I tend to piss customers off."

"You know, I can see that. But I guess that kind of work isn't for everybody."

"Hell no. Amazes me sometimes how dad and Finn can keep it together when customers are assholes. I just tend to tell them what I think of 'em. Hmph...at least dad has one child he can pass his legacy onto. You should have seen how despondent they were when Finn disappeared. Oh, yeah, they were sad he was gone, too...but it was a double whammy. Hmph...they probably would hardly miss me if I went missing."

"Ah, I don't believe it. Your parents seem to care about you."

"Yeah, they do. But I'm not as valuable to the legacy as Finn is. The store has been in the Broyer family for five generations. I mean, it would have been okay if I'd been good with the store, but I'm not and I couldn't care less about running it. Eh...it's too bad, but that's the way it is. Besides, excavating pays the bills when the pickings are good. So, anyway...what about you? What are you going to do now?"

"Vic and I were going to move on to Nortune. There's a gear battling arena there, and since that's what we're good at, we thought we'd look into becoming Battlers. Who knows? We could be famous one day."

"Hey, sounds like a good plan."

"Yep. Say, Vehra...have you ever tried driving a gear instead of just salvaging parts for them?"

"Well, we use excavator gears sometimes, but that's a far cry from the sort of piloting you do. There's no real skill to it. It's the difference between walking and dancing, really."

"Well...since you put it like that... Interested in learning how to dance?"

"Me, a gear pilot? Instead of just a driver?"

"Hey, you like fighting, don't you? It's sort of like that except you've got several karns of armour around you. You don't even have to be particularly graceful in real life. I mean, look at me, and I'm the best of all of us. Considering Finn's abilities, chances are good you wouldn't be half bad, either."

"And how around here would I ever learn or have a need for it?"

"Well...I could teach you. And nah, there's no real use for it here in Dazil, but you could come to Nortune with Vic and I and become a Battler, too."

"Nah. I don't think so. I mean, it sounds intriguing and all, but...I have to stay in Dazil. But...thanks for the offer."

"Well...if you change your mind, just look me up in Nortune."

"Sure."

"Personally, though...I think you should just try taking a risk on this one. I mean, it's your opportunity to get out of Dazil."

Vehra fell silent, staring at the wall behind Knute a moment before she broke out of it and asked, "So why such a drive to be famous?"

Knute laughed. "Simple. Short answer is - I'd finally be able to prove my father wrong. He thought gears were a waste of time - that I'd never be able to do anything good from learning how to pilot them except get myself killed. If I get some sort of notoriety from being a Battler, then it would be the perfect point made. That's what I want. All the other benefits are great, but that's the main reason I'm doing this."

"And the love and admiration of your fans would be nice."

"Oh, yeah. VERY nice. I couldn't complain about the attention."

"I'm sure you and your friend will do well. You're elite pilots, after all."

"I only hope they have nice gears to choose from there. Not like those snails Finn showed us in the Ethos shop."

"Well, those weren't battle class. Those were worker gears. For civvies, like me. Don't want us all passing out from the Gs do you? The really good stuff gets shipped to the front as soon as its finished being refurbished. The Ethos keeps a pretty tight network. Mind you, I'm sure your gears are still far better than anything we have down here. Especially if those two I found yesterday were yours. I've never seen such nice gears in my life. And mostly intact on the inside, too. Normally we're picking parts out of the sand, not full gears."

Knute perked up slightly. "Like I said, we didn't crash far from here."

"I found them only about a kilometre out to the north-west. One of them looked like it had been ripped in half, and the other was scattered in pieces for a bit, but the cockpit was still intact in both of them. I was really happy not to find anyone dead in there. I really hate that. It's gross. Some of them have been there longer than you'd want to know."

"Those probably were ours, then."

"Yeah. Actually, that guy who was going to beat me to 'em actually stopped suddenly and turned back to town. Which paved the way for me to get free reign on the parts."

"Hey, that must have been the guy who picked us up and got us to Dr. Strop. I don't think I could have gotten Vic to town by myself on foot. I owe him one."

"Oh, really? Is that what happened? Damn. It's no fun now that I know he turned back for altruistic reasons... Maybe I should give him a bit of my profit...I feel kinda bad." Vehra shrugged, then rose and went to her shelf. "When we make a find like that, some of us take a trophy of some sort. I'm not quite sure what this is, but it looked neat, so I claimed it. Recognize it?"

Knute wasn't sure what it was, but it was clearly a piece of Swordknight's armour. The colour gave it away.

"Ohh, Swordknight..." Knute took the piece and held it. "My baby. Poor thing. Did the cruel salvager strip you? Meanie! I'll teach her..."

Vehra laughed. "So it's true. Men really do get more attached to their gears than their women."

"Well, yes and no. It's not like I could have fixed her, anyway. And I did abandon her, so it's my own fault. At the time, helping Vic was far more important to me than anything."

"You and he are really close, huh?"

Knute nodded. "We've been friends since I was twelve. He's just always been there. He's actually more like a big brother to me. He's always looking after me, even when he doesn't have to. I look after him, too. Of course, it's not needed often - everyone knows he's the responsible one "

"It must be nice to have a friend like that. I sure don't. But anyway...I admit I'm slightly amused."

"Of what?"

Vehra laughed. "Your gear was PINK!"

"Hey, she wasn't pink. She was purple."

"Heh heh...your gear was purple. Purply-pink..."

"She was my baby."

"Just how good was she?"

"You mean stats-wise?"

"Yeah."

"Uh...you'll have to ask Vic. It's more his thing. But she was fast."

"I got a lot for her generator. Actually, I made a shit-ton of money off of her yesterday."

"Oooh...putting a monetary value on my Swordknight..."

"Oh, and that big-ass gun on your friend's gear. The barrel was broken, but they said they'd still be able to use it for something. It's pretty amazing what those Ethos guys can do, really."

"I can imagine they do...sharks..."

"Aww, don't be too mad. It's our job, after all. What the hell else is there to do in a place like this?"

"Eh, I'm not really mad. Like I said, it's not like I could have saved her myself. She was in pretty bad shape."

"Even so, it's been a rumour the Ethos double-dips. Goes where the money is, and supports neither side in the war. Chances are good parts from your beloved might end up in your new beloved in Nortune. They reserve parts like that for special gears. And I'm willing to bet Nortune battle gears are probably better than standard issue."

"Hmm...good point." He passed the piece of armour back to Vehra, who placed it in its spot on the shelf. She sat back down beside him and slapped her knees lightly. The silence was obviously tense.

"Hmm...anyway... Maybe it's about time we get some rest."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said, though he admitted to being a bit disappointed. He'd really enjoyed talking to Vehra. She was funny and interesting, and he didn't want it to end yet.

"But...I'm reclaiming my bed," she spoke suddenly.

Buh? What the-?

"I thought you said I could sleep in it."

"Oh, you can. In fact, I'd very much like you to."

For a moment he stared at her, her mouth breaking into a smile.

"Oh, you look so clueless. That's adorable..."

"You don't mean you want to..."

His sentence was stopped by her kiss. For a moment his body tensed until he realized what was happening. His body slowly relaxed as he realized he wanted it. Wanted her next to him.

"I'm going to be leaving Dazil tomorrow. I'll probably never be back here..." he spoke.

"I don't care," she replied.

He shrugged inwardly. If she was okay with that, then fine.

And so for the next part of time, he had Vehra to keep him warm in the chilly desert air.

* * *

The next morning, the sun streamed through the window and woke Knute from his peaceful sleep. The cold chill in the air was already being overtaken by the dry, desert heat and wasn't helped by the fact Vehra's body was close to his, as she held him tightly like a beloved stuffed animal.

There were noises outside the house. Someone - no, several people - were awake in the Broyer household. Probably the others were up and getting ready to go.

"Vehra..." he whispered lightly.

"Mrmph...what?"

"I have to get up..."

"Oh, yeah," she muttered, but only held him tighter.

He struggled for a moment and tried to break free. "I have to go."

Vehra opened her eyes and stared right into his face.

"Morning," she said with a smile.

For a second, Knute considered staying in Dazil, at least for awhile longer, but then what would Victor do? And what would he do without Victor?

"I guess you've got to go, right?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She didn't sigh or show any sense of sadness. "Then I guess you'd best get going, then. Sounds like your friends are getting ready."

"Are you going to see us off?"

"Oh, nah. This is good enough. I don't really know any of you all that well, so... I'll just get a bit more sleep before I go out for the day."

"Well...okay."

She ran her fingers through her hair. "Have a safe trip."

"Hopefully I will."

She nodded. "And no more tripping over your own feet."

Knute laughed. "I can't guarantee that."

Something about her goodbye made him feel cold. Did she care about what had happened at all?

Not that he should care. It's not like he was looking for anything more, either. It was just one night with a charming young woman. It was hardly his first or last.

He turned and pulled on his pants, easing himself onto his feet with the crutch lying unceremoniously at the side of the bed. When they were on, he eased himself back down into a seated position.

"I'm afraid..." Vehra spoke suddenly, punctuating the silence.

"Afraid?" he asked, turning towards her. She sat up in the bed behind him, the covers over herself.

She nodded. "Afraid of the unknown... Afraid of leaving Dazil and realizing I've made a mistake. Afraid of...oh, I don't know..."

"Vehra..."

Her tears were obvious in her voice, which seemed odd for a girl like her. He swung his legs back over the bed and embraced her a moment. He felt she needed it.

She pulled away from him, the sadness in here eyes gone, or, Knute suspected, hidden.

"That...that's why I've got to stay in Dazil. At least here, I know what I have. But don't think I don't appreciate your offer. I do. I really do. It's the best I've ever been given." Vehra laughed lightly, then forced herself to smile. "Well...be off with you. And thank you for a wonderful evening."

He felt his ears grow hot and the smile on his face he couldn't wipe off if he wanted to. She wasn't so cold after all. It wasn't that he wished she would change her mind, but maybe she just needed some time.

"Like I said...if you ever change your mind, you're welcome to come and see me in Nortune."

She smiled. "Thanks."

She laid back down in bed. "Mrgh...nnn...good night," Vehra said, then covered her head with her blanket.

He stood in the doorway for a moment, looking back at her as she cocooned herself in her bedding.

"Good night, Vehra," he said, again wishing he didn't have to go.

Knute quietly left the room and entered the hallway where Victor stood, looking slightly bewildered.

"Ah, there you are. Where were you? What's that room?"

Knute merely beamed, not saying a word to his friend.

"That's Vehra's room, isn't it?"

Knute nodded, still smiling.

"Oh, no. You didn't..."

"Yeah, I did."

"Yeah, I can tell by your face. But what were you thinking? She's Finn's sister!"

"So?" Knute shrugged, not seeing why it was such a big deal.

Victor sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Hey, I'm free to do what I want, Vic."

Victor covered his face with his hand. "You're impossible."

"I know, I know. I'm also a drop-dead sexy woman magnet."

"Oh, man..."

"Vehra's a really nice girl."

"You should have far more criteria before you, _you know_, with anyone."

"She wanted me."

"That is definitely not a good reason. That one is worse than 'she's a nice girl'."

Knute shrugged. "I didn't plan on it. One minute we were talking, the next, well..."

Victor sighed. "Whatever. It's your life."

"It sure is."

"I just hope Finn doesn't find out about it."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know if he's one of those 'protective brother' types or not. Considering your size and his, it's really a no-brainer who would win that fight."

"Um..." Knute admitted he hadn't thought of it. And perhaps it was worth thinking about.

The shadow fell in the doorway - a large figure was coming. Knute cowered a moment. Vehra's room was the only one down this hall. What other reason would he have for being there?

"Hey, Helm..." Finn said as he stepped around the corner. "Didja find...oh, yeah. I see ya did."

"Good morning, Finn," Knute spoke nervously.

"Mornin', Stratski! Ankle feelin' any better?"

"Uhhh...yeah," he spoke, but admittedly wasn't paying much attention. He didn't see any wrath in Finn's eyes. But...Finn wasn't the brightest star, and maybe he hadn't connected the reason Knute had been here was because he had slept there.

"That's good! I'm glad it is. Well, now that you've found him, I'm gonna make sure my mom and dad have got everythin' all ready for your trip. See youse guys soon. I'm not letting youse all go before I can say goodbye. Uh uh."

Finn turned in a neat half-circle and went back around the corner.

"Ready to go?" Victor asked, as if he knew his friend was looking for an opening.

"Yes!" Knute spoke enthusiastically. Besides, all he had were the clothes on his back and his emergency pack. It wasn't as if he would need to take forever to get ready.

"You mean you're not going to spend a half-hour in the washroom, like normal?"

Yes, he normally did take his sweet time primping himself, but given the circumstances, Knute felt it would be best to get out of Dazil before it all clicked with Finn.

"Nah. But I have to adjust my bandage. It got a bit messy and loose."

"Rolling around thus will do that."

"It does it when you're sleeping regardless, Vic. Which reminds me...I should redo yours, too. Some of them look a little off themselves."

"Oh, they do?"

Knute nodded. "Yep. Now let's see about getting you fixed up. Won't take long. You know I'm a bit of an expert on this stuff."

"You hurt yourself so often, of course."

Knute put the notion of Finn beating him up aside. Maybe he would never make the connection. Until he did, there was no point in worrying about it.

* * *

Finn sighed. So this was where he and his friends would part ways, at least for awhile. He had shed his Gebler uniform in exchange for light cotton robes. There was no way Solaris would find him if he was dressed like everyone else in Dazil. Besides, the lighter clothes were far more comfortable in the desert.

"I think you should be all set," Ven Broyer said. "It should only take ya a few days to get to the edge of the desert, and another day or two on foot once you reach the Kislev border. I hear it's opened now that the war's finally over. You should have no trouble crossing. And don't worry about comfort. This model of sand buggy is pretty roomy. It's meant for long distance travel, and it's got a rest place for Mr. Helmholz and Mr. Stratski to recuperate while on the journey. Just drop it off at the depot office at the border. They're all part of the same travel network. The owner's a good friend of mine and he gave me a great deal on the rental fee."

"That's good to hear," Helm spoke.

"But if I can offer you guys any advice - if a sandstorm hits, just stop the buggy and wait it out. Don't be like my stupid brother and insist on moving forward when you can't see a metre in front of ya. Usually they pass in a few hours."

Vance spoke, "I guess you're not coming with us, Finn?"

"Sorry, guys. I gave it a lot of thought, and I'm gonna have ta follow my path, and right now it leads me here, to my folks' shop. I've been gone almost eight years, and I've gotta lotta catchin' up to do. I wanna find out who I am, ya know? When the time's right, I'm gonna come to Nortune and see how youse guys are doing, but right now I'm gonna stay right here."

Stratski nodded. "We understand, Finn. I'm just glad everything worked out for you. You have to follow your path, just like Vic and I are following ours."

Finn nodded. "Okay. I'm glad you guys get what I'm sayin'."

"If we're ever passing by, we'll pop in. And we know the address of this place, so we can write if anything exciting happens to us," Stratski said. "You'll be the first to know when we get famous."

"Yeah, I'll write you, too. Once ya know where you're gonna be livin' an' all."

For a long time, all was silent between them.

Finn grabbed Vance, Stratski and Helm in a strong bear hug.

"I'm gonna miss youse guys!"

"Ugh! AGH! Let go, Finn! Ow, that hurts!" Vance exclaimed.

"Oh, my pretty hair...he's wrecking my hair!" Stratski cried.

"You are so vain, Knute..." Helm mumbled. "Ouch...my arms..."

"Can you put us down...?" Vance said.

"Oh, uh...Sorry, guys." Finn released them.

Stratski pulled out his comb and quickly fixed his dishevelled hair.

"Can I borrow that?" Vance asked.

"EEW! No. I don't know if you've got sand lice or something."

Vance sighed, and tried to fix his hair with his fingers.

"Thank you for the supplies, Mr. and Mrs. Broyer," Renk said. "Oh, and thank Vehra, too. I heard she pitched in some money, too."

"It was no hassle. Just go, go. Find your paths, kids. My son's gonna do just fine here, I know it."

Vance, Helm and Stratski walked off, but Renk stayed a little longer. He approached Finn quietly.

"Renk...?" Finn said questioningly.

"Good luck. Your sister and parents are great people," Renk said quietly.

"Yeah, thanks, Renk. I hope you feel better, too. You've been like a dad to me, when I didn't remember my dad. And I still don't know if my real dad is as good to go to with problems and stuff as you were. I'll always remember that."

Renk looked genuinely touched. "Thanks, Finn."

Finn gave him a more gentle hug. "See ya someday soon."

"Count on it."

"Good."

"Well, I'd best follow the others."

Finn nodded. "Yeah."

He didn't want to watch them go, but he couldn't help it. He had spent over a year with the Special Forces, and he had grown so attached to them all. He looked upon them like brothers. Even Stratski, who could be a real jerk.

"Bye, guys...may God be with ya..." he whispered just as he stepped back into the Broyer household.

* * *

Just looking at it gave Finn the shakes.

"Wow! This place is such a mess!" Finn said, standing in the doorway to the store's stock room. It appeared as if someone had tried to keep it organized, but the attempt had fallen clearly short.

"I'm afraid Griv wasn't quite the organizer you were. And I'd have been able to put more input into it if my back would let me do it. Once I'm back up to pace, I'll be whipping this place back into shape. I'll do what I can, but you'll have to do the heavy work."

"Don't worry, dad. I'll help you! Of course I will! But...it's so messy. I don't even know where to start."

"One step, then the next," Ven Broyer said. "Plug along, chin forward. When it gets too big, don't waffle on it - just jump in and start. Nothing happens if you just sit and fret about how you're ever gonna get it all finished."

"Yeah, I know, dad. I know."

"Then where do we start on this mess, then?"

"'From the top,' right?"

Ven put a warm shoulder on his son's back. "See? You didn't forget as much as you thought."

"How could I forget such smart stuff, dad?"

Ven nodded. "That's my son. Now let's just get this storeroom organized."

"Uh huh!"

Finn smiled. It was really good to be home.

~ End of Chapter 3 ~

* * *

A/N: _Well, what can I say? This has been sitting around mostly finished for far too long. I decided to just sit down and finish it! Chapter 4 is obviously next, but I don't think there are going to be a ton of changes. Considering that's a Knute/Victor chapter, though...I might add or change a couple scenes. I admit, I haven't even really looked at it yet. Not to mention, I've recently read chapter 5 and I HATE IT. But I'll probably just leave it as is with one or two small things added since honestly? I just really want to get back to the new stuff and to finishing this epic that has taken me far too long to write as it is. Every year Xenogears shows it's age even more, so I feel there are fewer and fewer fans still around. This does make me sad ;_; since it's a great game!_


	4. Nortune, City of Fortune

**Gebler Special Forces: Chapter 4  
Nortune, City of Fortune**

Days passed as they traveled through the desert.

Vance alternated the odd catnap and tinkering with Clawknight's components, because naps were all he could allow himself before the bad dreams overcame him. His body seemed drained, and everyone noticed he was on edge. When Victor or Knute tried to jibe him, Renk tersely told them to leave him alone. Otherwise, Renk was also quiet, still engulfed in his own grief, and sleeping almost as little as Vance.

The remaining Special Forces members reached the edge of the desert and left the sand buggy with the Kislev border guards. The rumour was true - free passage between Kislev and Aveh was again possible. It would only be another day or two until they were back in Nortune.

Helm and Stratski's injuries improved every day. Once on Kislev soil, they took a short walk to stretch their legs and see how well they had healed. Knute still had a tiny bit of a limp, but he knew by the time they reached Nortune, he would be walking as if it had never happened. Helm's cuts had also almost healed and save for a couple on his arms and chest. Unless someone was paying too much attention, he would not even know the extent of the accident he had been through.

"So I bet you're not gonna run into your old man's arms when we get back to Nortune, eh?" Knute asked his friend.

"I don't even want to see that old fool," Victor responded. "Never gave a damn about me, feeling's mutual."

Knute nodded. "Nah, I don't really want to see my parents, either. You know they'd chide me about taking off like that. Tell me how I'd wrecked my life. I'll show them. I'll make something of myself one day."

"That being said..." Victor added. "What do you suppose we do when we get to Nortune?"

"I thought we'd decided on becoming Battlers," Knute spoke.

"Yes, I know we did. And chances are good we'll find our way in. But I've been wondering...what we should do if that doesn't work out."

Knute smiled with a smile. "Vic Helmholz, always worrying about the future. Don't worry. We're going to be Battlers. We're elite Gebler pilots. How could we _not _make it?"

"You know me. I prefer having a plan B. Just in case."

Knute closed his eyes for a second, trying to come up with a quick answer. But he found none except the truth. "Hmmm...Well, do you think the Kislev military needs gear pilots?"

"I think the Kislev Military's currently on standby, now that Shakhan's been overthrown and the new king of Aveh wants peace. They're probably sending guys home rather than drafting them. Besides, their gears are old and all beaten up, and they'd be hell to ride. We've ridden older, but still, Gebler gears can spoil a person."

"When was that? What beat-up gears did we ride?" Knute asked. He couldn't remember doing that at all. The ones they'd ridden the brief time they were in Kislev's military had actually been pretty decent, for surface gears. Then again, there were huge chunks of time he couldn't remember just yet.

Victor fell silent for an awkward moment. "Did I say that? Forget it."

Knute shrugged, choosing to ignore it. "Hmm...well, I'm not becoming a city guard."

"What's wrong with city guard?"

"City guard is WAY beyond me!" Knute said. "I'm an elite pilot. General patrol isn't my thing. Don't tell me you don't feel the same way."

Victor took off his glasses, then rubbed them clean with his shirt. "Yeah. I see where you're coming from," he said. "But what else do we know how to do?"

Knute thought about it again. "I know we know how to do lots of stuff, but...none of it's really useful. Not here on the surface, anyway."

"Yeah, I've been thinking that, too. And there's not just us to think about. What about Vance and Renk?"

"I wouldn't worry about Vance. See him tinkering with those parts he took out of Clawknight? He'll find a good job doing something technical. And Renk...well, just because city guard is beyond us, doesn't mean it's beyond him. Besides, I don't think he's ready yet. Give him a couple months, and maybe he'll feel up to working. We can look after him until then. After all he's done for us in the last couple years, it's the least we can do for him."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Besides... I know we won't need a Plan B. Plan A is going to work out just fine."

Victor sighed. "I guess you're right. At the least, I can't fault you for being optimistic. I really need that to start rubbing off on me some time."

"You're right about that!" Knute said. "But you know, I think it would be weird - you being hopelessly optimistic."

"Oh, thanks," Victor said dryly.

Knute laughed, then shook his head. "This is too much to think about tonight. Let's get back to the fire and get some sleep. We'll worry about it when we get there."

* * *

Steam rose from the Kislev capital of Nortune, coating everything around it, especially in the lower ranked blocks, C, B and D. Ninety percent of the population lived in the Residential C block, while five percent were criminals who lived in the D Block Prison. B block was dedicated to industrial use. The other five percent lived in the prestigious A Block. This was where Knute and Victor had both been born. Tucked far on the outskirts of Nortune, as far from the prison as possible, the area also managed to be absolved of most of the steam, which was a by-product of power generation. The people lived well in large homes - the celebrities, the CEOs, and the rest of the affluent. The only person of wealth in the town who hadn't taken residence in A block was Kislev's own Kaiser Sigmund, who chose to live in the same building as his office for convenience and security reasons.

Victor looked around. It had been almost nine years, but everything seemed exactly the same as the day they had left.

"This place hasn't changed at all," Knute said, echoing his sentiment.

"Yes. Still steamy. Except up in A block, I'm sure."

"Yeah. Those guys take the hard-made energy from B block and don't have to suffer like everyone else. Always thinking too much of themselves."

"I know."

Vance walked a bit farther ahead of the group. "So this is what this place looks like from the ground."

"It's the world's largest city. Ta da. Nortune. Home of the Helmholzs and Stratskis."

"You said you guys aren't going home, though," Vance said.

"Well no, we aren't. But Nortune is still ours even if we're not with our families. We still did grow up here. And there were some friends I wouldn't mind looking up. It's nostalgia too, I guess," Victor said.

"Well, technically, we spent way more time in Asimila, which is north of here. But I guess I'm being technical," Knute spoke.

"Being technical is usually something you accuse me of," Victor said.

Knute shrugged. "Well, we did. Me more than you, since you didn't come to the school until you were fourteen and I was stuck there in the early grades. But I guess if we're talking our actual family estates, then yeah...it's here in Nortune. Besides, if you're going to get a job anywhere on this world, it'll be here. You'll like it here, Vance. A high-tech haven. It's still not Solaris, but it's as close as you'll come on the surface," Knute spoke.

The boy nodded. Victor could tell it was a genuine sentiment from Vance, so he let it be. "I guess for now we can get ourselves a room at the inn until we're settled in, and then we can find places of our own once we've saved up a bit. How's that sound, Knute?"

"Good, good. that'll work."

"Uh huh. But let's still take a step at a time. It's late, it's been a long walk, and I could really stand for some rest. I'm still not completely healed, either. Let's get a room and head for the Arena in the morning."

* * *

The next morning when Knute rose, he realized Vance was already awake - either already awake, or hadn't gone to sleep yet. The boy had turned the small desk in the far corner of the room into a workbench, already covered in a menagerie of spare gear and computer parts. At first Knute didn't dare approach him. Besides, he had to look perfect for the trip to the Arena. He and Victor had gone out for some local clothing after checking into the inn the night before, so they wouldn't stand out or be spotted by Solarian spies.

When Knute got out of the bathroom after about an hour of preening himself, he realized Vance was still busy working. He'd never seen him into anything quite that much before, so he became curious.

"Working on anything interesting?" Knute asked.

"Don't know yet," Vance responded, not even looking up from his work. Knute noticed Vance's hands were a little bit shaky, and something inside Knute told him to mention it.

"You should get some sleep, Vance. Look, you're not doing so hot."

"What the hell would you know?" he replied again, and his hands became even more shaky. "Leave me alone, Stratski."

"Hey, I was just worried about you. You're shaking."

"My hands are fine. Go away."

"Whaaatever..." Knute responded, shaking his head. _If I knew we hadn't thrown away all our Drive with the gears, I'd swear the squirt was on it again._

"You ready to go, Knute?" Victor asked him. His friend was fully awake and already dressed and ready.

"Yeah."

"Finally. Man, you're as bad as a woman sometimes."

Knute stuck out his tongue. "Pppth."

Victor rolled his eyes at the sentiment as he usually did, and turned to go.

"Hey, you guys..." Vance called out, still not looking up from his work.

"What?" Victor asked.

"When Renk woke up for a few minutes, he told me to tell you both good luck."

Victor nodded. "Tell him thanks. We'd better go. See ya, Vance."

Vance acknowledged them with a small wave - more a token gesture than anything else. Knute shrugged it off, and turned back to the task at hand.

The Battle Arena was a pretty fair walk away, and Knute hated the butterflies of excitement taking over his stomach.

"Say, all the best battlers have nicknames. I was thinking - how does 'The Charming Avenger' sound to you?"

Victor's nose crinkled. "'The Charming Avenger'? Seriously?"

Knute's shoulders slumped. "You don't like it." "I see where you got the first part, but 'Avenger'? Who are you avenging?"

"Well, it'll all be part of my back story. You know all the best Battlers have a killer back story."

"Whatever."

"I think yours should be "The Wet Blanket," Knute spoke.

"Or "The Battler Without a Stupid Name'?"

"Seriously, Vic? You're going to be the most un-fun battler in the arena."

"I'll just have to make up for it with amazing moves, then."

"Well...you _will_ have that..."

The two approached the Arena gates, but were stopped by two guards by the entrance.

"No entry. There are no battles today."

"You misunderstand," Knute said. "Actually, my friend and I would like to become Battlers."

The guard laughed. "Yeah, you and everyone else. The only way to become a Battler in this arena is to fork over the money for your own gear. Even then, it's got to conform to the standards of competition, and that means it can't be just any old gear. Besides, a gear isn't enough. You have to show potential as a pilot, too. We can't just let any yahoo in here who has a bit of cash."

"That won't be a problem. My friend and I are elite pilots."

"Oh, really? Then bring your gears here and show us how good you really are."

Knute balked a moment. "Well, um...they got wrecked. We don't have them anymore." "Well, then...you're shit out of luck. Well, unless you get yourself admitted to the D Block prison, and quite frankly, I'd suggest opting out of that. Not a pretty place. Even then, there's no guarantee you'd even get noticed."

Victor turned to him. "Well, I guess somehow we're going to have to get the money to buy ourselves gears."

The guard scoffed. "Heh. Good luck. You're looking at almost two million G to start for something borderline up to standard."

"So really...there's no other way?"

The guard shook his head. "Nope. Don't feel too bad, though - you're two of about a half dozen hopefuls we get every day. We've never accepted anyone else on the spot, either. Gears are a rich man's game, unfortunately."

_But we _are_ rich... well... _were_ rich... _Knute thought. _I'd rather choke than ask my parents for money. Not even to do this. Besides, dad probably still thinks gears are a waste of time._

"Well, we're just going to have to delay our plans a bit," Victor said, then pulled Knute on the arm. He supposed his friend was right. It wasn't over - it would just take a bit of time.

"I guess there's no point in arguing with this guy. Let's go, Vic," he said with a sigh. He walked away from the Battle Arena quickly, trying to keep hold of as much of his pride as he could.

"You did say something about a Plan B, right?" Knute asked quietly, not looking at his friend, who matched him stride for stride.

"Plan B is easy now. It's looking for a job and trying to get ourselves enough money to get ourselves a gear or two. That's pretty obvious."

"I guess we should start now, then. It's still early in the day. Where do you think we should start?" Knute asked.

"Hmm...perhaps the factory district?"

"Factory? I suppose I could do it for awhile. I haven't done it yet. And with the war ending, they'll start to put their money in commerce again. My dad must be ecstatic."

"Yeah, mine too. They hated it when the war flared up because it was bad for business."

"Can't make money selling anything if everyone's money is going into buying armour and weapons. Wonder if the business is even around anymore."

"Your dad probably wrangled it and got into the armour and weapons business."

"Yeah. Your dad, too. Anyway, let's just look and see what's available."

* * *

A whole day had gone by, and Victor and Knute had pretty much exhausted all their options in the factories in the west end of B block.

"Let's just try this one last place. You never know," Knute said.

"Yeah, okay. What is this place? Another weapons factory? You know all the other ones before have been in the process of shutting down."

"I know. But you never know. Asking won't hurt."

Victor shrugged then stretched. "I can't believe we've been at this all day. I almost forgot how nerve-wracking looking for a job can be. At least Solaris places you. You don't have to go through this agony."

"Well, if they place you in a job you hate, then I'd rather look," Knute said.

"Hey, did you have a problem with being a soldier in Gebler?"

"Not me. You know I love piloting. But I knew people who hated what they were doing. Sure, if they saw you had talent in something else, they'd move you up, but..."

"Yeah, well...looking back it sort of worked sometimes."

"Sometimes, I guess. I wonder how that chick who owned the import store ever got to start her own business. Wonder if she had to apply for it specially."

"Probably had to sleep with someone or something. I'd rather keep my pride intact and get by on my own merit."

"Yeah, tell me about it. that's just what's so frustrating about us having to do this at all! We're good, Vic. We really are! We should have been let in as Battlers just based on our skills, but they didn't even give us a chance to show them off. Screw needing our own gears! I'm sure they've got spares!"

Victor sighed. "It can't be helped, Knute. You know money gets you everywhere in Nortune. Unfortunately, it's just the way it is. Now let's just head inside and try our luck."

The pair stepped into the main office where a lone receptionist sat. She still appeared to be somewhat busy, though the two noted there was not much noise coming from the direction of the factory.

"Uh huh. No, we're not going to be slowing down production until the peace agreement with Aveh is officially signed. But I'm still not sure it means we're hiring. I suppose it couldn't hurt to ask the boss, though. I'll call him out. Please, gentlemen. Have a seat."

Another office, another boss. Victor really hated it. He had never been passed over so much before. It had always been so easy - walk in, get the job. His training for the Special Forces had been hard, but he never thought at any point he wouldn't make the cut. And here he and Knute had been told 'sorry' so many times just that day alone. What if it would be like this for a long time?

Eventually a man entered the lobby. He was tall, svelte in form, grey-haired, and, by the way he carried himself, important.

Victor's eyes went wide as he beheld the man who he hadn't seen in years. His father, Kroner Helmholz, was a powerful man in the business world of Nortune. But greater still was the power he had over his son.

"Oh, great. What's HE doing here?" he whispered quietly to Knute.

"What? Who?" Knute said, also looking up. "Ah...oh, no. But I thought your dad owned a sand buggy company. This is a weapons factory. And what the heck would the CEO be doing down here with the riffraff?"

"He probably bought this factory when the war heated up again. And my dad was always a 'hands-on' sort of guy. But no time to ponder it. Let's get out of here before he sees me..."

"I'm with you," Knute said, already standing and walking towards the door.

"Oh, gentlemen! Please don't leave! Mr. Helmholz said he would speak with you since the foreman is busy."

"Yes, gentlemen," Victor's dad spoke. "Please come in."

The commanding voice ripped into Victor's head. An old feeling came over him - the one that froze at the sound of his father's voice. He had never been able to ignore him or disobey him in his presence. Not with his booming, imperative voice.

"Hey, Vic? Let's go," Knute said, shaking on the arm.

Victor shook his head silently. "I - I..."

"Wait a moment," Victor's father said. "Don't I know you from somewhere, gentlemen?"

Knute tugged at his arm, but instead Victor chose to turn back towards the receptionist's desk, staring at the older man, but not saying a word.

They looked very much alike, even more now that his father's hair was completely grey, and they stood at close to the same height. The main differences were the lines in the older man's face and his air of confidence that the younger Helmholz had a hard time finding him himself. Whatever little he had was lost in the elder's presence.

"Victor," the man's voice bellowed. It was hard to tell exactly what was meant by his tone, but it was enough to completely draw Victor in. It had been so long since his father had spoken to him, but the effect was still there.

"Father," he spoke for lack of a better response.

"Why, Victor, it really IS you. I wasn't sure. You were just a boy when you ran away."

"Yeah. I - I came back."

"What brings you back to Nortune?"

His father's voice was cold, emotionless. Victor would have preferred it for his father to be mad. For once would the man show some sort of sign he cared?

"Just came back. We're looking for a job."

"Hmm...a job? Aren't many of those, I'm afraid."

"Doesn't seem to be, no."

"And that's originally why you were here, I'm supposing. You didn't know I own this factory now. Weaponry was a good business, but if this treaty gets signed, there's not much potential for profit in the future. I've had to lay off 75% of the workers in this factory as it is. Of course, I do still have the parts factory, and it's going well, but my days in weaponry are over. At least until the next war."

Victor knew what his father was basically saying, "Forget it. I'm not giving you a job." and something about the notion really pained him. But he couldn't let his father see his disappointment. He remembered once hearing his father whisper, "My son is weak-willed. He's too dependent on me. I'll have to send him away to teach him about self reliance. The Academy helped me. It will also help him."

The Academy. Miller Gordon's School for Boys. A business preparatory academy with rigid discipline and teachings. It had probably prepped Victor for his time in Jugend, which had been equally strict. As many bad memories as Victor had of his childhood, his times at school had been fond. Mainly because of the one true friend he had met there who had changed his life. As much as he wanted to hate his father for sending him away, without his best friend, his life wouldn't have much meaning.

.*.*.*.

"You'll be sharing a room with Knute Stratski. He's two years younger than you, but he takes some advanced classes, so you might occasionally be in the same class. Be nice. He's had his own room for awhile and might be a bit territorial."

Oh, _great_... Victor thought.

The Headmistress opened the nondescript door to the dorm room and Victor looked inside.

The first thing he saw was a small boy sitting on a bed across the room. His hair was a very pale blond - almost white - and appeared to have been cut using a bowl. He was reading a book and didn't even look up at him as he and the Headmistress entered.

_They said he's two years younger than me. But he doesn't LOOK 12. More like 8. Maybe._

The Headmistress cleared her throat. "Mr. Stratski, he's here."

"Uh huh..." the boy responded, an icy tone in his voice. He still didn't look up from his book.

"Now don't be rude! Say hello!" the Headmistress hissed. "If you'd rather bunk with someone else, I'm sure I could find you someone worse!"

With her threat, the boy seemed to respond. He put the book beside him, looking at Victor for the first time, but even then it was as if he wasn't really paying attention. "Hi," he uttered, about as enthusiastic as someone going to the dentist.

"That's better. Now, this is Victor Helmholz. He'll be your roommate for the rest of the year."

"Yeah. Hi," he said, a bit more absently. Victor watched his expression change from true apathy to a certain level of distaste. He pouted, "He's so OLD!"

Victor had been told he was tall for his age, but nobody had ever said he looked old before.

"That's not very nice!" the Headmistress scolded.

"But he's old!"

"He's only 14. Don't be ridiculous. Now...this will be your bed, Victor. As your father requested, away from the window because of the drafts and your allergies. This is your personal wardrobe and desk. I believe that's everything. I'll leave you boys to become better acquainted now. Dinner is at 6 o'clock _sharp_ or you don't eat."

The Headmistress left quickly and Victor sat down at his bed next to his suitcase, not acknowledging the other boy's presence.

"Look, if you're going to be staying in this room, these are the rules," the younger boy said, rising to his feet quickly and standing to his full height, which was shorter than Victor had even suspected. He approached the edge of Victor's bed quickly, and found they were almost eye level, even though he was sitting down. The boy looked particularly indignant.

"First, this is my mirror," the boy said, rushing over to a far wall and pointing at the object he was speaking of. "Don't touch my mirror."

Victor did his best not to laugh at the tiny child with his tiny kid voice giving him orders, of all things.

"Second, this is MY bed. Don't sleep in my bed. Don't even sit on my bed. Third... NO SNORING. Four, this is MY side of the room. The only reason you can come on my side of the room is to go to the bathroom. Five, no stinking up the bathroom..."

The boy went on and on, listing many rules. Victor tuned him out and pulled out a book from his bag on gears. He drowned out the boy's words, but the buzzing remained in Victor's conscious. Eventually it stopped. Thankfully.

Victor peeked over the top of his book, pushed his glasses up his nose and said lowly, "Are you through?"

He waited for the boy to react, but he stood in the middle of the room, stunned for a moment. Eventually his eyebrows crinkled, and his dark eyes flashed with a desperation, as if he knew it wasn't going to be as easy to push his new roommate around as he thought.

"You'd better obey the rules, okay!"

"Whatever," Victor spoke, then went back to his book. He didn't feel like protesting, and he felt the threats would probably end up being either empty or unenforceable. After all - even though Victor wasn't strong, the height difference alone meant he could probably take him.

There was blessed silence for almost a full minute. He had fully expected his new roommate to have a spaz attack, but there was none. Instead, the boy put his hands to his sides, and his shoulders slumped. He skulked back to his side of the room.

"So... What was your name again?" Victor asked, because he honestly couldn't remember what the Headmistress had said.

"Knute Stratski," the boy replied.

"Is that short for 'Kanute'?"

"Why do people always say that? No! It's just Knute!"

"Oh, okay. Got it."

"S'bad enough my name sounds like a lizard, then people keep thinking it's something else..."

"Your name sounds like a lizard? Oh! Yeah, I guess it does. I wasn't even thinking of that."

"Seriously?"

"Not at all."

The boy flopped down on his own bed. More silence. Victor went back to his book, but still watched Knute out of the corner of his eye. The boy acted as if he was a bit nervous.

"My name is Victor, by the way. Victor Helmholz."

"Oh, okay. So, uh, you like gears, huh?"

Did he like gears? Did the sun set every day?

"Yep. I know a ton about them. Just try to stump me. I've memorized the stats of every gear ever made in the last hundred years."

"Uh...I don't know that much about 'em. All I know is they're really cool and I want to pilot one some day."

"Oh, yeah. Me too."

"Some day I'm going to join to military and become a gear pilot and kick some Aveh butt!"

"It's nice you have that choice."

"You don't?"

Victor shook his head. "My father's got his heart set on me following in his footsteps. None of that includes me 'getting myself killed'. Or so he says. Even though joining the military is the only way I'll be able to get to ride one."

"Well, it's not like my dad wants me to, but I'm going to do it anyway! I think my mom is okay with it, and mom will talk dad into it. But it stinks your dad says no."

"Yeah, sure does."

"What about you mom? Can you get her to get you what you want?"

Victor did his best to not stir the pain that arose from being reminded of her.

"My mom... She died. A few months ago."

"Oh..." the young boy said, and his face filled with genuine sadness. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad."

"You didn't know. Never mind."

More silence. But it was clear Knute was fishing for something to say.

"Maybe one day you'll have so much money that you'll be able to buy your own gear," he spoke. "Then you could ride it whenever you wanted and nobody could say anything about it 'cause you bought it yourself!"

That was a good idea. Victor hadn't thought of that. He laughed. "Maybe I will."

Knute smiled, as if happy he had cracked Victor's icy exterior. It was weird for Victor to let someone in. But somehow the boy had done it.

"You know... It's okay if you come on my side sometimes. But...still no using my mirror, okay?"

"I'll try and remember."

Victor didn't feel as terrible about his situation as Knute beamed. For some reason he couldn't explain, the towheaded boy had already found a place into his heart, and they'd only just met. Little did he know then just how much Knute would mean to him in the future.

.*.*.*.*.

After that, Knute became Victor's family. Even though their parents had known each other, the boys had never met until they both attended school together. They quickly became inseparable. Victor became like a big brother for Knute, while Stratski vitalized the serious Helmholz.

"So there are no jobs for us," Knute asked to clarify what Victor already knew. Yes, he knew his father wouldn't be as generous as a father perhaps should be. Not that he wanted a damn thing from the old fool. It was probably just as well.

"No, I'm afraid not. Not in my company."

"Well, I'm sorry we wasted your precious time," Knute said with a slightly sarcastic tone Victor would never dare use with his father. Then again, he wasn't trying to stop Knute from saying the things. After all, Victor would say them if he has the ability to stand up against the man. But his father only nodded, not even seeming phased.

"However, if you both made some contacts, you might find your task easier. I'm having a party at my mansion tonight, and a lot of important people are going to be in attendance. You're both invited, if you wish."

A party. Victor remembered them - noisy, but somewhat dignified. The faces had all been strangers when he was much younger. Now some of them might be people he knew and went to school with, but... did he really care?

"We'll think about it," Knute said as if reading Victor's mind. "Let's go, Vic."

Outside the door, Victor stopped a minute, resisting the temptation to go back inside.

"Ugh... I hate the way he's got control over me. Let's just keep walking, Knute."

Knute nodded and led them away.

Victor could only look at his feet as he and Knute headed back to the inn.

* * *

As the two walked back to the inn in central C Block, Knute could tell Victor's mind was on the past - on all the words spoken by his father that had settled deep within his friend, cutting and painful. Knute could understand the disappointment in his friend's expression. Kroner Helmholz was not a man one wanted to make angry. The couple times in Victor's life he had tried to disobey him, he was punished severely, usually with a humiliation so great it had beaten him into submission just as he had found a bit of strength and free will. Knute hated the effect the powerful man had on his best friend. He just wanted to punch Kroner Helmholz for all the coldness he had shown towards his own son.

"Your dad snaps his fingers and you beg. It's always been like that, Vic," Knute said, not intending to sound like he was lecturing, but it's how Victor probably took it.

"I can't help it. He's a very commanding person. I just hear his voice and I freeze. It's been that way since I was little."

Knute sighed. "Ever since I've known you, at least. I wouldn't have a problem telling him off. It's only out of respect for you I don't really haul off on the asshole."

"Don't get in trouble because of me. It's not important."

"Hey, what are buds for, right? And like hell it's not important. That man's treated you like crap your whole life. One of these days, I'm probably gonna just hit him, honest. Out of respect for you or not."

Victor remained silent, so Knute decided to change the subject. "So...are you going to go?"

"I think so. You?"

"No way. Spending the evening with a bunch of stuck-up fools?"

Victor cleared his throat, as if he almost said something he didn't want to. "It's not really my scene either, Knute. But I'm a little curious to see where some of the people from school have ended up."

When he and Victor had left Nortune, they had left behind that life. The first night, over a crackling fire, the two of them made a pact never to return to that world. It was a memory so vivid to Knute, more vivid than most of them had been. It was that promise, that memory, he held on to so closely when things had looked down on their short journey here on the surface. It was one of the memories they had both gotten back, and so they held onto it.

"One night. Just to see some of the old gang, see what they've made of their lives. But that'll be the end for me," Knute said. "I vowed never to go back to that life. I'm going to keep that promise."

"I know. Me too. It's sheer curiosity with me. But I wonder..."

"Wonder what?"

Victor shook his head. "Nothing. Never mind. If it's meant to come back to you, it will. I'll just have to count my blessings it won't happen."

"You're holding something back? Hey, that's not fair, Vic. You know I still have a lot of missing pieces."

"Yeah, well...it's one piece I hope you go on missing."

"Is it really that bad?"

"I thought so. You'd likely disagree."

"Then you should tell me."

"In due time, it'll come back. I'm not telling you, Knute."

"I hate you, Vic."

"Yeah, well...it's for your own good."

"Well, okay. But it had better be." Knute looked at his feet. He hated the holes in his memory almost as much as he hated it that his friend was keeping things from him. He would probably get the memories back eventually, but why would Victor be so adamant about keeping them a secret? Certainly they couldn't be that bad?

But he'd tried to wedge them out of his friend before with little success. Besides, he had no energy to fight at that moment.

"Say...I don't have a suit," Knute said, after looking at his arms.

"I was thinking it would probably be good enough if we wear our uniforms. They wouldn't be as recognizable if we took off the robe portion. Still looks sort of military, but it doesn't look too funny. Or obvious."

"I hate that stupid robe part, anyway."

"Yeah. Whoever designed Gebler's uniforms had no taste."

"Hmmm. True."

"So should we invite Vance and Renk?"

"Nah. They'd be bored to death. Besides, I don't think Renk would be in the mood and Vance might make an ass of himself."

"Off Drive, he's a completely different person. Even though he has been a little snarky lately."

"Still...why torture him with a boring party where he doesn't know anybody?"

"Yeah, good point. Never mind, then."

Knute and Victor stepped up to the inn silently.

"Say..." Knute said, almost like an afterthought. "I just wondered...do you think my parents will be there?"

"Probably."

"I don't know if I can face them, Vic."

"Ah, come on. You're curious to find out what happened to people, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Alright. Let's hurry back and get ready. I bet my hair looks like shit from all the steam."

Victor rolled his eyes. "You and your hair...Gazel-head."

"'Gazel head'? Excuse me?"

It was the term used for third class Worker Bees who had pale blond hair, like Solaris' first class, pure blooded Gazel. Generally it was considered in insult among lower ranks, but between he and Victor, it had become affectionate teasing over the years.

"Yeah, and what about you, Mr. Periwinkle? What person has hair the colour of light purple pencil crayon?"

"Someone who was almost entirely grey by the age of 19," Victor responded.

"Someone who screwed up the dye the first time he tried it, you mean."

"And ended up liking the effect. It's unique, at any rate. Besides...any darker, and I'd probably look even more like my father."

"Gah! And you don't want that."

"Hell no! Anyway, I'm sure your precious mirror is free so you can spend an hour preening before being seen in public again. Unless Vance has commandeered it already."

"I can take him," Knute spoke with a smile. Indeed - Vance was probably the only other member of the Special Forces that he could.

* * *

The party was rather extravagant, held in a large ballroom of the mansion that had been Victor's childhood home. He approached it with a bit of apprehension, but then gained his nerve when he realized he was not a stranger here.

"Ah, hello!" came the voice from an older man who approached Victor and Knute quickly. He was a family friend of the Helmholzs, but Victor had never liked him. However, it didn't mean he could pretend.

"Mr. Tenek," Victor said, hiding his true feelings behind a smile. "How are you?"

"Oh, things have been just great, just great! I never knew the war flaring up would be so beneficial to my business. We decided to expand and blah blah blah..."

Victor looked desperately for an exit, but there was none in sight. Knute was also looking around. After a minute, Knute nudged him. "It's Porland."

Victor looked off in the direction Knute was motioning to. It was Porland Devera. Back at the Academy, Porland had often been a third member of Victor and Knute's partnership in crime. He was a little bigger than when they had all been in school together - okay, a lot bigger - but he still appeared to be the same Porland with the boisterous laugh. Victor's eyes met with that of his old friend, and he waved.

"A friend of yours?" Mr. Tenek observed. "Ah, yes, yes. Gentlemen, I completely understand! You want to see your friends - not yammer on with an old crow like me. You know, this reminds me of a time when..."

Victor and Knute ducked away before the man could go any farther.

"Why if it isn't Vic Helmholz and Knute Stratski!" Porland said, approaching them.

"Hey hey!" Victor held out his hand for a high five but it was ignored.

"So what have you pair been up to?" Porland asked.

"Not much," Knute replied.

"Aaah, I thought so. As my father and I both theorized, we knew you'd come crawling back when you grew tired of your game - whatever it was. Now maybe you can do something respectable with your lives..."

Victor felt a distinct urge to hit his old friend, but held himself back skilfully. Porland went on, ripping in to how much of a mistake it had been to leave, his completely facetious tone only grating on Victor's nerves.

"Well, what would you know?" Knute asked with a completely straight face. If Victor hadn't been so peeved himself, he might have actually tried to stop him. "You wanted to go with us, but you chickened out at the last minute. And until you've been through what Vic and I have been through, don't you DARE trash us. Have a NICE day, Porland, you overstuffed coward."

Knute walked away, his back straight with pride. Victor couldn't think of many moments where he had been as proud of his pal.

How could people change so much? To think Porland had once been one of his very best friends so long ago.

The others they ran into weren't much better. They met up with several more whom they had chummed around with in a younger day, when they all vowed not to become their parents. They all had. Shallow, arrogant, with money being the most important thing in their lives. Was it fate? Would he and Knute eventually end up the same way?

"Well, that was yet another simply depressing scene, don't you think, Vic?" Knute said after the latest friend had chastised them for their foolishness. Despite the calm, almost deadpan way it had been said, Victor knew it was Knute's way of trying to cheer himself up.

"Yeah," Victor replied. "You know, I've had it with this crummy party. What say we split?"

"Hey, sounds great. But didn't you want to look around a bit before you go? You said you wanted to, and you haven't been in this house in a loooong time."

"And probably not ever again."

"Yeah, well...you know you want to see how it's changed."

"Well, yeah. Wanna come?"

"Nah. It's just a big house. I'll stay down here. I'll just hide in the corner where nobody will bug me. You go on."

"Okay, then. Won't be long."

Victor decided he would make it quick. He just wanted to see his old room, and then leave this too-big house forever.

* * *

Knute watched as Victor walked off, then he retreated to a corner where he thought people might leave him alone. But there was one person who noticed him.

"Wow! It's been a long time since we've seen your face around here, sir! Knute Stratski, how are you?"

The voice was familiar, but despite all of Knute's efforts, he couldn't place the face. But what was instantly clear was this man was not like the other partygoers. He held a tray of cocktails in his hand, so he was obviously a servant.

"Um...sorry...it's been a long time, so I don't remember."

"It's me, James. I used to work for your parents. I suppose you might not remember me. You spent a good portion of your life away at boarding school."

"Ugh! Tell me about it. I'm sorry I don't remember you - James, was it?"

The man nodded. "It's not a problem, sir. I'm sort of used to being forgettable. After all, I'm only the help. Um... were you looking for your mother? She's over there by the punch bowl."

Knute looked over and saw James was right. For a moment he hesitated. He hadn't planned on ever running into his parents again, and here his mother was. He watched her carefully, and there was something wrong with the entire image. Knute couldn't put his finger on it at first. But when he did, it was clear.

_Where's dad? He and mom were always inseparable at these things. Weird they wouldn't be together, and weird that it looks like she's keeping to herself. She hates the quiet..._

"Well, I suppose I should get back to my work now. Please take care of yourself," James said. With little more, he dismissed himself. Knute wasn't paying much attention. He was still staring at his mother.

"Well," Knute breathed, "here goes..."

The very fact she was not surrounded in friends was certainly strange. But despite the bad feeling it gave Knute, he still approached her.

"Hello... Mother..." he said politely.

It was another few seconds before the woman turned to face him. Her icy eyes chilled him with their very glance. Yes, he knew she could be cold, but never quite like this.

"That uniform. It's... Oh. You," she spoke lowly, her tone remaining suspiciously unemotional.

"Mom..."

She turned away from him. "Don't call me that."

Her words struck him, but he didn't know what to say at first. "Um... mother, it's Knute... Your son..."

"I am aware of who you were. I couldn't ever forget the way my son looked. Just as I will never forget the devastated look on your father's face when he realized you'd abandoned him. Because of you, I lost the most important thing in my life."

The most important thing? Knute knew what it was, or rather, who. But how could he believe it? It would explain why his dad wasn't there at the party, but it couldn't be true he was dead... It just...

"Mom...where is dad? He's not..."

"He is!" she hissed. "And you killed him. So now I am alone. And the last thing I need is you. You are not my son anymore. Leave me be..."

How could it be? What was his mom talking about? This didn't make any sense...

"Mom..." he said again, almost a whisper, but she didn't hear it. Or didn't acknowledge it. Not hearing it he could take, but ignoring...

"You'd best do as she says, sir," James said. Knute hadn't even seen the servant approach. But he was welcome if only to break a bit of the tension.

"But..."

"She doesn't want you around anymore, and you know she's a stubborn woman. Come on. I'll tell you what happened."

Knute nodded while taking one more look at his mother's turned back. James led him to a quiet corner of the party.

"Tell me...what happened?" Knute asked.

"Not long after you left, your father died. It was a massive heart attack. He was dead before he even hit the floor. Your mom, though...she couldn't accept it. She's gone a little bit... off. I guess that's the nice way to put it. She pushed away everyone - even her closest friends. She became impossible to work for, which is the main reason I'm working for Kroner Helmholz now. She was always looking for someone to blame, so she chose you, convincing herself your father died of heartbreak over losing you. Your father was her world, and when he died, so did she on the inside. Nobody can reach her. So... it's best to leave her to her misery."

Knute heard the story, but didn't want to believe it. How could things have changed so much? It wasn't like he had expected a magical reunion or anything, but this was still so... wrong.

"Are you okay, Mr. Stratski?"

"Uh... Yeah...I'll be...I'll be fine. Just let me stand here and be alone for awhile."

"Alright. You're sure you don't need anything?"

"Actually, there is something you can get me."

"Yes, sir?"

"I'll have a... Heck, just get me something hard from the bar. Surprise me."

James nodded, then walked away. Knute was happy for the silence and time to reflect.

* * *

The Helmholz mansion had changed very little. It was like Victor stepped back in time, to a day when he was much younger, much greener, and a lot more optimistic, though Knute would be likely to say he'd never been optimistic in his life. Of course, Knute didn't remember everything.

Victor wandered the second floor in near silence, the only sounds coming from the far-off party.

_It's been a lot of years. I hardly remember how many. As much as this place is the same in most ways, it's almost like this isn't my house..._

_Nonsense. This is your home. You aren't a stranger here._

_Then why do I feel like one?_

_This has never been the place I remember most fondly. I remember my dorm room, the one I shared with my best friend... my little brother. That's where any memories resembling fond in my mind rest..._

_This is just a big house. Just...a big house that reminds me of far too much of the sadness I felt back then. When dad would berate me, when mom would cry..._

_Why did I decide to come back here? What did I expect to find? Acceptance? Old friends? Perhaps, but I came here only to find everyone but myself and Knute I have become one of - _them_. I should have expected it. They care about nothing but money. I suppose when it was the only pleasure in your childhood, it sticks. At least I had my best friend. Knute's been by my side the whole time. Everyone else is just an old smile. Many of my memories haven't returned yet. Or maybe I just...didn't have many worthy of remembering..._

Victor stopped when he reached the doorway of a familiar room. He hadn't been in his bedroom in many years, not since the final summer he had been home from school.

He pushed the door open slowly and was a little shocked by what he saw. But not in any way surprised. His bedroom had been turned into an office, his things long gone to who knew where. His only place in the entire house was no longer his.

_Figures. This proves I was never anything but in the way for him. He doesn't even keep any tiny piece of this huge house I can call my own. I truly am a stranger here._

"I didn't expect you'd ever return," came the commanding voice from behind him - his father. Though the anger over his bedroom disappearing rose inside of Victor, he could never release it. Not before this dignified figure who had such power over him.

_I hate him. Why can't I stick up for myself? Why do I always let him push me around?_

"Well, I did return," Victor said because it was all he was able to. He glanced at his father and once again saw no emotion in his eyes. He had always been such a cold man.

"I see that, yes. It appears as if you've been in the military."

"Well, yes. That's true, but I'm certain you wouldn't know the country."

"I don't recognize the uniform, but I'm sure you aren't lying to me."

_I never have been able to lie to your face, father. I've never been able to do anything but cower at your words. And in return I have been given nothing but this kick in the teeth. Can't you for once just tell me if I mean anything to you at all?_

"Listen, I've been thinking about earlier today," his father said. "And I don't think it's necessary for you to waste your time looking for a job in a factory. It's well beneath people of our class. It so happens I do have a position open for you in the accounting department. Of course you aren't certified yet, but you could work up to it. You were always quite sharp with math - I'm certain it would be an excellent fit for you."

Victor stared at his father. He would have been touched by the gesture if only it had been anything different than the grand plan his father had always had for him. Since Victor was a child, his father always had this fixed idea of his son becoming an accountant, then working his way up in the business to take over for him. And here he was with this 'great' offer which would just prove how right Victor's father was about him. Weak-willed. Not a son but clay to be moulded into whatever shape was desired. Was he going to allow himself to be bent yet again?

No. Not this time.

"I don't think that would be in my best interests right now."

His father cast a glance at him carefully, but Victor couldn't figure out his expression. "Are you certain, Victor?" he replied, his voice somehow...different.

"I'm certain."

"Well, if you ever change your mind, the offer will stand. I suppose I should return to the party now. You should, too. There's nothing up here of interest anymore. And I suspect you should get back downstairs. When your friend Mr. Stratski finds out about his father's death, then he's probably going to need you."

Victor watched his father leave silently. Nothing of interest, indeed. His father had destroyed whatever comfort Victor might have had in this large house.

Victor's thoughts moved to his father's last statement, which was the one that concerned him most.

_Knute's father? Dead? I have to get back down there._

* * *

Knute still watched the party, sipping his drink slowly. He wanted to get drunk, completely blasted, but something inside him stopped him from losing control. He just wanted to leave, never come back to this stupid high-class world. Hell, he didn't even want to be in Nortune anymore. Dammit! Why had he even come back here in the first place? There was nothing but pain and rejection here! How absurd was it to think he would prefer Solaris over this?

Like a light through his darkness, he caught sight of her sunny ringlets bouncing in the distance. At first her face was merely familiar, but when he finally had a chance to get a better look at her, a flash of memory overcame him. He remembered her name, her soft skin, her gentle kisses... and the look on her face the last night he had laid eyes on her.

.*.*.*.*.

"We're going to run away. The three of us - Victor, Porland and I."

"Run...away?" Lolessa spoke, shocked.

"Get away from all this. Find out who we are! It will be great... out on the open road. Seeing the world..."

"Really...?"

Knute nodded. "I want you to come with us."

"Me?"

"Lolessa, I love you and I want to be by your side forever. You've always talked about getting out, too. Now's your chance! Come with us!"

"Well...I don't know..." she said. "It's so sudden."

"We aren't going until tomorrow night. That gives you a day to think about it."

She walked a few feet away from him. "I don't think I can do it. There's... well... I have school and my friends, and... but... oh, Knute, I just don't want to lose you!"

"I'll come back for you. Once I discover who I am, I'll come back for you. Don't forget that."

.*.*.*.*.

It had been his promise, but one he had not been able to keep...until now. Why had Victor not told him about his first and only love?

No matter. Now she was here before him, her golden curls bouncing as she ran up to him. She was still as beautiful as she had always been, like an angel.

"Ohhhh, Knute...it's been so long," she spoke, her voice a sweet song. After looking him over a couple seconds, she took him in an embrace. He didn't know what to say. What could he? This was like he had never left.

"Lolessa...it's been...forever..." he whispered in her ear. He had missed this so much without even knowing it.

"Oh, Knutie, Knutie, Knutie...has it been nine years already?"

"Yeah...nine long years..."

"A lot's happened since then," she said.

"Oh, that's for sure...but for now...just keep holding me, alright?"

Lolessa squeezed him tighter, and all the coldness and sadness in his heart melted. This endless moment filled him with a deep sense of security and love. What did it matter that his father was dead and he had been disowned by his own mother? Lolessa, the woman of his dreams, was here.

"Hey YOU!" said a weasel-like man Knute hadn't even seen until he opened his mouth. He opened his eyes to see a familiar face. Neddy "Nedward" Schlumberger had been a year younger than Knute when they both attended the Academy. Neddy had been the butt of many jokes, not just from Knute and Victor, but all the boys. He was a spindly boy, as spindly as he was now, as a man. His voice had an adenoidal quality and his disposition had always left something to be desired. He had been the most spoiled boy at school because of his coddling mother, and he knew it. He loved to rub it in the faces of the other boys. Even with so many missing pieces in his memories, Knute could never forget Neddy. Permanently, anyway. Not that he didn't want to or anything...

"Hey, HEY! Neddy! You're here, too?"

The short man approached them. "Of course I am, self absorbed preppy-boy! And get your mitts off my wife!"

The words struck Knute like a kick in the teeth. 'My wife'... Neddy hadn't really said that, had he?

"Oh, Neddy-poo, don't be so silly. Knutie is an old friend of mine," Lolessa said casually.

"Old friend?" Knute exclaimed. "Lolessa, this isn't true! You're not really married to... HIM... are you?"

"Well, yes. Of course. He's my snuggie-poo." Lolessa put her arm around Neddy and pulled him closer.

"Lolessa... weren't we going to get married? I gave you a ring and everything!"

"Oh, yeah. That. I sold it."

"You...sold..." Knute felt chills fill him. "But...I...you...we...I wasn't... I love you, Lolessa. We were going to get married when I got back."

"Oh. You took too long. I mean, I thought you'd be back in a day or two, but six whole long days went by and I just couldn't wait anymore. So when Neddy comforted me, we fell in love and, well...tee hee!"

"Yeah," Neddy interrupted. "I mean, what kind of jerk would abandon his fiancée like that?"

"You stay out of this, you little weasel!" Knute said, lunging for him.

"NO!" Lolessa intervened. "Knutie, don't! Don't hit him! It's not going to change my mind! Neddy is my snookums. We had a great thing once, but it's over. I don't love you anymore. But if you want, we can still be friends."

_FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS_... Her words echoed in Knute's mind mockingly. He felt his heart fill with anger, betrayal and utter sadness. Before he could control himself, he exploded.

"NEVER MIND! I don't want to be your fiancé, friend or anything else! I don't want to have anything to do with you ever again! Just leave me the hell alone! I hate you! I hate you and this entire damn city!" He was shaking all over as he said it, even though he didn't truly know why he was ranting. In reality, he just wanted to wish Lolessa away to some place safe and quiet where they both could live together in peace and happiness, far from Nortune, Solaris and the whole damn war. But...she didn't love him anymore. This was truly over. The girl who he had subconsciously wanted for all those years in Solaris...was gone. And he really didn't have anyone to blame but himself for going away in the first place. If only he had never left.

He felt a familiar hand on his shoulder, and Victor's voice speaking in a comforting tone. "Hey, Knute...let's get out of here, okay? Lolessa isn't important."

Knute took one last glance at Lolessa, who seemed unfazed by anything he had said. She tipped her head and spoke to Neddy in a bubbly tone, "Gee...do you think I hurt his feelings?"

Knute merely shook his head in disgust and walked away, Victor following him closely.

"What happened?" Victor asked.

"She's married..." Knute said lowly.

"Married?"

"She married...HIM!"

Victor stifled a laugh. "Neddy? You're kidding, right?"

"Hey, don't laugh!"

"Oh - I'm sorry... I'm not laughing at you, it's just... Oh, man... Isn't _that _typical..."

Knute ignored Victor's laughter and stared at his feet again. Victor stopped laughing and asked, "Are you okay, Knute?"

"Yeah, well... I'll be fine, I guess..." he spoke, his tone very unsure.

"I never liked her, anyway," Victor added.

"I know." Knute looked up at Victor, who looked awkward. "Why did you keep her a secret from me? That was the secret, right?"

"Yes. And as for why...she's a dink. I mean, I've seen rodents with bigger IQs than her. Knute, you're a smart guy, and you deserve better than her. Believe me. And I've been proven right. She's broken your heart, as I always suspected she would. The way I look at it, she's not worth it if she'd marry a jerk like him."

"I guess, but...I loved her..."

"I just thought it would be less painful for you if you never remembered her at all. But I knew I couldn't hide it from you forever. I knew she'd be here. She's always at these big parties. And I knew she never would have waited for you. I know her type."

Knute didn't respond. He only kept glancing at his feet.

"You want to ditch this party?" Victor asked.

Knute nodded. "Definitely."

"Yeah, me too. Let's get out of here."

Soon the pair were far out of A block, and on their way back to the residential district. Knute was still silent, lost in his own thoughts.

_Lolessa...how could she do this to me? I loved her so much... And dad...you were so charismatic and strong...I looked up to you. I just... didn't want your life. Maybe you did die because you were sad I went away._

_Nonsense. You packed me up and sent me to school because you were too busy to deal with me on a daily basis. If you cared about my presence, you wouldn't have sent me away. Maybe you were always ashamed of me? Well, I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm going to make something of my life. I'm going to make that money and buy that gear and be a famous Battler. I'll show you all that you pushed away someone great. As long as Vic's by my side, I can do anything I want._

"My father and I had a talk," Victor spoke suddenly.

"Huh? What about?"

"He asked me to come work for him. He has a position for me in the accounting department. I'd have to work up to being certified, though."

"Accounting? How dull."

"Yeah, I know."

"Wasn't that your dad's grand plan for you all along?"

"Yeah. That's how he got started. He always thought it would be a viable career, to teach me the way the business works."

"Well, you're not going to take it, are you?"

"No. I don't think so. If tonight taught me one thing, it's that I was right for leaving that life. I don't fit in to that crowd. Besides, an accountant? How dull."

"Good. That's a relief."

Victor nodded.

"So...what are we going to do, then?" Knute asked.

Victor shook his head. "I don't know. Just plug along. There's bound to be something out there we can do. We've only been out there a day. We only covered the west end of B Block. Just because one area has no work, doesn't mean there aren't other areas that do."

When they got back to their room at the inn Renk was asleep, and Vance was still working on something under the desk lamp.

"Hey, Vance..." Victor greeted.

"Hi," he said in an aggravated tone, not looking up.

"That was a waste of an evening," Victor spoke.

"Ssssh! I'm on to something here!" Vance snapped.

"Ooooh...touchy..." Victor responded, walking over and glancing over Vance's shoulder. "What is it?"

"Give me a second... Just back off!"

Victor raised his hands and did so. Vance had been so on-edge lately. He decided to leave him alone.

Knute sighed and sat down, pulling off his jacket. Victor sat beside him.

"You sure you're alright?"

Knute nodded. "Yeah. Just leave me alone for a bit, okay?"

Victor nodded and rose again to get ready for sleep. Knute also rose and went into the bathroom. He shut the door quickly, and Victor knew why. Knute had too much pride to cry in front of anyone, not even him, his best friend.

"Okay, I'm done. Wanna see?" Vance announced.

Victor nodded and went over.

Sitting on the desk was a wild assortment of parts. Victor noticed his GPS had become a part of it.

"Um, did you ask me if you could use that?"

"You weren't here to ask," Vance replied.

Victor shrugged. "Oh, well. It didn't work, anyway."

"Actually, the GPS itself wasn't broken. The command centre it gets its signals from got busted, or rather, got destroyed when Etrenank blew up. So I decided to take the components and utilize them to adapt your current GPS into a device which taps into electromagnetic fields in the earth, hence why this big magnet I pulled out of Clawknight is here. It will guide the..."

"Vance...VANCE!" Vic interrupted. "Can you speak a plain language? Lamb or Solarian, I don't care, but not what you're speaking."

"I am speaking Solarian if you'd just listen."

"No, you're speaking techie! Make it simple. I'm a technical idiot where anything other than gear stats are concerned."

Vance sighed. "It's a GPS. It just works now. Simple enough for you? I made it so we don't need the control center that used to be in Etrenank."

"And it works?"

"It should. I built it."

"Yeah, well, we should test it out, anyway."

Vance looked deflated. "Whatever," he said coldly, then went back to it. He punched some numbers into the GPS' control pad.

"I told it to look for Dazil. It's thinking about it..."

The machine beeped, and Vance looked at it. "It says it's at co-ordinates 20 north and 151 east. We're at 39 north and 122 east. It's not to the exact degree, but close enough."

"Wow, I remember that - that's right! Hey, kid, you're pretty good at this stuff."

Vance beamed proudly. "Of course. I'm a ace."

"I'll believe you from now on."

"You'd better."

"But I do have one humble question."

"What?"

"Why do we need a GPS now that we're here in Nortune?"

Vance looked at his invention, then back up at Victor. "I don't know. I just wanted to do it. Maybe it will help someone else someday."

Victor saw a strange change in his friend's expression. Vance thinking of someone other than himself? Impossible, was he hearing things right?

"Helping others...didn't know you had it in you."

Vance looked insulted. "Yeah, well, proves what you know! Forget it. Just leave me alone. I need to do some finishing touches. Tomorrow I'm going to work on a communicator so we can monitor transmissions from the control ship. You'll _like_ that invention."

Victor knew he had made a mistake. "I didn't mean I hated it. I just don't think we're going to have a use for it. I didn't mean to get your back up, kid."

"Yeah, whatever. Just let me work, okay?"

"Okay, um... Good night, Vance."

"Huh! Good night. Say, is Knute coming out of there? I've gotta go."

How could Victor respond to that without giving Knute away?

"I think he's taking a shower. You know how he is about cleanliness, and this place is so steamy."

"He'd better hurry up and do it then, because I'm gonna pee myself if he doesn't finish in five minutes!"

Victor went over to the door and knocked. "Hear that, Knute? You've got five minutes, or Vance is gonna pee himself!"

"I'll be out in a minute! Dammit, just leave me alone, already!" Knute called.

Victor thought, _Well, it's time for Victor to escape Crabbyville and go to bed. He's gonna wake up in the morning and hope everyone's much happier and less willing to bite his head off._

"You two work it out. I'm getting some sleep."

Knute was a strong man. His friend would probably feel better in the morning.

* * *

_Damn it... I just... can't stop... _Knute thought, trying everything to keep the tears from flowing.

Everything went through his head - his father's death, the rejection from his mother and Lolessa... He had been gone so long, he hadn't prepared himself to deal with nine years of bad things all at once.

"Stratski! I've got to GO!" Vance protested from outside the door.

"Find another damn bathroom, Vance!"

"Don't be an ass! Just get the hell out for two seconds!"

Knute knew Vance would continue to persist, but he just couldn't risk the chance of Vance seeing his red eyes. Maybe he could hide them some way.

He looked around. Ah! Towels. He could wrap up his hair as if he'd just washed it, and then cover his face with the towel, as if he was clearing his eyes of soap.

"Come ON, Stratski!"

Knute didn't respond. He leaned forward and wrapped his hair in the towel. Good. That would work.

He checked how he looked in the mirror. When he saw how red his eyes were, he felt the tears well up again.

_Just keep it together for five more seconds, _he told himself. He covered his face, pretending to wipe his eyes, then opened the door.

Vance pushed past him without even a glance. He probably hadn't even needed to pretend.

"Hurry up, Vance. I'm not finished in there yet," he muttered.

Indeed. He could only hold it together for a moment longer.

"I'll be right out. Geez..." Vance said curtly through the door.

Knute walked over to the bed Victor was lying in, already fast asleep, and sat by his feet.

_It's nice someone isn't burdened by all this, _Knute thought. _Then again, I can't blame you, Vic. You didn't have such a bad night compared to me._

Light filtered into the room again as Vance opened the door.

"Thanks, Stratski," Vance said, his voice sounding oddly soft.

Knute stood and went toward the bathroom again, trying not to let Vance see his face.

"Are you okay?" Vance asked suddenly. The words made Knute stop in the doorway.

"Yeah. I'm fine," he replied. He was still facing inwards, not daring to turn and risk the chance of Vance seeing his face.

"Are you sure? Come on, Knute. I can tell you're upset about something."

Vance actually cared about something other than himself? That wasn't Vance. Knute didn't like it when his friends acted out of character. Though he'd have been dumb to not notice how much softer Vance seemed since they had left Solaris. Unlike the narcissistic, insensitive little jerk he had been, there was a softness to him, though he had become very jumpy and snippy. Regardless, Knute still thought it was weird.

Not to mention, Vance had called him by his first name for the first time. In his memory, he'd always been Stratski to anyone other than Victor. Not that he minded - but it was different.

"I'm fine, Vance. I'll be just fine."

"Well, okay."

Knute saw Vance go back to his worktable.

"Uh, Vance?" he found himself saying suddenly.

"Yeah, what?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" Vance asked, not even looking up at him.

_For caring enough to ask. Even though it's not like you to give a shit about anyone. Other than yourself and Renk, that is, and the latter could be misconstrued as kissing ass. Maybe that's why...I'm actually kind of touched._

"Nothing," Knute said, finding it in himself to smile slightly. "Never mind. I'm going back in. You done?"

"Yeah," Vance said, waving towards him, already engrossed in his project.

_I guess we're all part of the same team. At least until we all find a reason to part ways. Never mind Gebler's toast. We're still comrades, I guess._

_I left a ton of bullshit behind here when I left. But I guess the past doesn't matter. I've got to plug along and find a new path. I don't know what the hell mine is supposed to be. But I guess the most important thing is doing whatever it is with my best friend at my side._

Knute turned in the doorway, finding keeping his eyes clear far easier. He smiled as his eyes fell on Victor. It was a small thing, and people would think it odd and strongly misconstrue things if they knew just how deep his affection for his friend was, but he really couldn't imagine ever being apart from him. Life just wouldn't be the same if they weren't together. And neither, he hated to admit, would his heart.

* * *

The next three days proved just as hopeless as the first one had been. Knute's mood was still mopey, though Victor could tell he was trying to keep his spirits up. The constant rejection was really beginning to bother his friend - Victor could tell by the way Knute's normally proud, deliberate strides were more like a hesitant shuffling of feet.

"Say, Knute...maybe we should stop by a bar and have a drink before we go back?" Victor had to admit he could use one, too.

"Yeah, okay," Knute responded half-heartedly, but then perked up. "But I've gotta keep an eye on you, welterweight. You know how quickly alcohol floors you, and you're too heavy to drag back to the inn."

Victor found it hard not to laugh. It was true - despite his attempts, he had never truly built up much of a tolerance for alcohol. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't remind me. I'll be careful. Let's just go," Victor said, entering the closest bar, Knute trailing behind him.

"What can I do ya fer, gentlemen?" the barkeep asked.

"I'll have a beer," Knute said simply.

Victor nodded. "Yeah, me too."

Within seconds, the two had their drinks.

"Aaaah...This is going to hit the spot, I tell ya..." Knute said.

"Hey, Knute..." Victor said with less wistfulness than he had all day. "Let's toast. I mean, my dad's a jerk, you've been dumped and disowned, and we can't find a job, meaning we're no closer to buying ourselves gears, much less even having a decent living in this place. So we'll toast to looking ahead, and not letting all this crap ruin us."

"Hey, now you're talking! Toast to our buddydom forever, my bro."

A grizzled old man who was sitting next to Knute looked up at the two men, puzzled for a moment.

"You! It's you..." he spoke, loud enough to make Victor and Knute put down their drinks and stop toasting.

"What are you talking about, old man?" Knute asked.

"You're Knute Stratski...and you're Victor Helmholz."

"Eeeeeyeah..." Knute said.

"The Hopes..." the old man whispered.

Victor tried not to gasp when the man said it, but it was apparent the title meant nothing to Knute. But it meant entirely too much to Victor. He knew who the old man was - what he had meant to them, long ago.

"I don't know what you're talking about, old..."

"No, Knute...hold on," Victor said. "You just don't remember him yet. Manarin...it is you, isn't it?"

Manarin Oliveret. Victor remembered when the name had meant power and strength - a great dream he shared with others. Single-handedly, Oliveret had organized a rebellion, gathered men from all over Kislev... all with the dream of overthrowing Kaiser Sigmund and his monarchist government in favour of a new democracy, free of war and strife.

However, what Manarin had in power, strength and respect, he lacked in youth and charisma. For that, he enlisted the help of his two protégés - two rich boys who had left their aristocratic life behind to fight for a greater good in Kislev.

Victor and Knute were the leaders of the Kislev Liberation Army, at least in face. The fact Oliveret was more of a fighter and wasn't really interested in leading a nation made him pass on the honour to the young boys. It was waiting for them when they finally won.

Of course, a Kislev democracy wasn't what Solaris wanted. And what Solaris didn't want, Solaris quashed - by whatever means necessary.

.*.*.*.*.

"Yeah! Yahoo!" Victor called out as the gear he was fighting fell backwards with a crash. Ah, the feeling of being in a gear was like nothing else.

The first time he had stepped inside one of the huge mechas, it was like he had found a lost friend. The members of the Liberation Army were amazed at how quickly Victor had learned the basics. Knute's abilities were on-par, though. This was what made Manarin pay attention to two boys from Nortune's A Block. As their skills with the gears continued to rapidly grow, so did the respect they received from the Kislev Liberation Army. Manarin dubbed them the "Hopes" and promised them a leadership position in the new order.

But they had really just been kids back then...so many mistakes...now hidden with Victor's silence.

"You bastard. That was a cheap move..." said Knute's voice through Victor's communicator, sounding very perturbed. But Victor remembered what had happened the previous day.

"Oh, and like your cheap shot yesterday was COMPLETELY fair..." Victor responded.

"That was different," Knute said as his gear tried unsuccessfully to rise to its feet. "My cheap move was at least somewhat honourable. Yours was just cheap."

Victor rolled his eyes. "Whaaaaatever." He held out his gear's hand to Knute's and helped pull it up.

"I'm hungry," Knute stated.

"Well, Manarin said Della prepared a mini feast for us so we'd have luck tomorrow when we storm Nortune."

"Then let's go get some grub, man," Knute said, opening his cockpit and descending his ladder.

Two other men came up to the pair as they turned to leave. Brilland, the taller of the two older men, was the commander of the Resistance's gear battalion. "Hey, Knute, Victor...if you want any of our gears to be left for the battle tomorrow, you'll ease up on us, 'kay?"

"Brilland, it's not our fault you suck," Knute replied.

Brilland hit him lightly on the arm. "Yeah, I know I suck at gear combat compared to _you_ two - we all do - but that doesn't mean squat when Lockner's shouting in my ear about needing special parts or spending all night fixing the gear I just wrecked because you guys chewed it up."

Lockner replied, "I spend more time fixing 'em then you all do battling in 'em. You think I LIKE slaving in a hot workshop because some stupid gear pilot doesn't know how to freakin' duck? This one's gonna be a week-long job, and the war'll be all over by then. Thanks a lot, Brilland. You're all gonna have to be a lot better than _that _tomorrow to get anywhere. Which is why we should let the REAL gear pilots go off and get something to eat. YOU!" Lockner said, pointing at Brilland. "Bring me my tools!"

Brilland sighed. "See you two tomorrow, fellows. Big day, right?"

Storming Nortune...it was planned for tomorrow, wasn't it? The excitement in the base was obvious as people, both tense but hopeful, wandered the halls of the large house and underground caverns that had been turned into the Army's stronghold. Everyone waved to the two as they walked towards the small dining hall. Most of these people had become Victor's good friends.

The cook's merry smile filled Victor with warmth, just as much as her hearty homemade soup. Della was like the mother Victor had lost so many years before.

"You boys off playing with those gears again?" she asked.

"I whipped him," Victor spoke with a smile.

"You were being cheap!" Knute retorted.

Della laughed. "I swear, those things are like an extension of your limbs. Most men twice your age who have spent years in gears aren't so good."

"I guess we both have a knack," Victor said.

"You sure do. Which is why you two are the Hopes. You're going to lead us into battle and help rebuild Kislev into a strong, democratic nation. Now you both eat up. Want you two to stay strong for tomorrow."

The next day would be the first strike against Kaiser Sigmund and his monarchy. Of course Victor remembered it now. He remembered this place fondly - the base for the Kislev Liberation Army - The Resistance to most.

"Hey, if you're doing the cooking, then that won't be a problem at all," Knute said in a flirting tone. "Not like it matters. Your smiling face is all the food I need."

Della began blushing and walked back towards the kitchen singing.

"You're sickening," Victor said.

"You'd make more women blush if you bothered to play the game."

"Hey, aren't you in love with Lolessa?"

Knute scoffed. "Hell, yeah! But who says a little flirting is harmful?"

Victor put his face in his hand and shook it. "You're impossible."

"Mmmpg...nuffing m'possible 'bout me," Knute said with a full mouth of food. "You jus' don' understand me *munch*"

"I understand you too well. That's the problem."

Knute feigned a hurt expression and swallowed. "Come on. You know I'd never cheat on Lolessa. Why would I? She's the most gorgeous thing around."

Victor tried to keep his face even and hide his contempt for Knute's fiancée. "Yeah, if you say so."

"Hey, I know she's not your type," Knute said, then took a long sip of soup right from the bowl. When he swallowed, he continued. "I wouldn't cheat on her, just like she'd never cheat on me. We're completely devoted to each other, man."

"Yep...guess so."

Victor tried to hide his doubts through a mouthful of food.

Manarin approached the table and leaned on it with most of his weight.

"Hey, Manarin," Victor replied after he finished chewing.

Manarin nodded, but then gave Knute a wicked glare. "Hey, Knute..." he said, sitting down in a chair and moving as close to Knute as possible. He put a large arm on Knute's shoulder. "Knute, my boy... I hear you're flirting with my wife again."

Knute didn't look at him. He only nodded, chewing on his food, but looking nervous.

Manarin continued. "Heh heh! If you weren't going to be one of the future leaders of Kislev, I'd be kicking your ass right now."

Knute looked ready to spit out his food on the table. Manarin stood quickly and hit him affectionately on the back. "Heheheh! Easy, boy. You know I'm kiddin', right? Like Della would even LOOK at a runt like you when she can have good ol' perfect me!"

Knute swallowed his food quickly, but grimaced as if he hadn't chewed it enough. "Perfect my ass," he responded.

Manarin just laughed. "Well, you two keep eating. You're gonna need to look your best when you're going before the city as their new leaders, right?"

"Hell, yeah. Won't my dad be surprised!" Knute said. "Surprised to see I made something of my 'worthless hide', eh, Vic?"

"Well, we shouldn't celebrate yet. We've got the drive, but this fight might go on a lot longer then we think it might," Victor said. "Hate to put a damper on things, but we do have to be a bit realistic."

"Pessimistic is more like it," Knute said. "Ignore him. He always sees the bad side of things."

Manarin nodded. "But I'm afraid he's right. War isn't easy, boy. And it is possible we might be fighting longer than we think. But what matters is that we win, right?"

The two nodded and finished off the last couple bites of their meals.

"Don't you two worry about a thing," Manarin said. "My guys have got it under control. I've just got out of a meeting with Hamel and he's got our strategy down. Tell ya, it's a damn good plan, too. But like I said, don't worry about it. I'll brief everyone in the morning. Now don't you kids stay up too late now."

"We won't, Manarin," Victor spoke. "I'm sort of tired, anyway."

Manarin lightly patted both of them on the back. "Then good night, boys! Kislev's destiny awaits!"

Full and tired, Victor and Knute walked back to their bedroom in the safe house just outside the destroyed town of Asimila, to the north-east of Nortune.

"I am so ready for bed," Victor said, then yawned. "Big day tomorrow. You excited?"

Knute nodded. "Yep. Who knows what will be different this time tomorrow."

"Uh huh."

"I'm ready for some shut eye, too, but there's just one more thing I've gotta do first."

"What?" Victor wondered.

Knute didn't respond at first. He went inside and took his boots off wordlessly instead.

"What do you have to do?" Victor asked again.

"Just something. Don't worry about it."

Victor's curiosity had been piqued. "What?"

"Leave me alone, Vic."

Victor noticed something in Knute's hands and grabbed for it. Knute tried to keep it but Victor was faster. He looked at it and saw it was a letter. It was addressed to Lolessa, in Nortune. Victor decided not to read the letter inside. He didn't want to destroy such a fine meal.

"Knute, you know you can't mail this."

"Aw, come on, Vic. I just want her to know I'm okay and that I'm coming home soon."

"No! You know we can't mail anything to Nortune from the base. Knute, you know that."

"Aw, come on! They aren't going to notice one little letter."

"And if they do? Knute, we can't take that chance."

Knute's expression was truly pitiful, but Victor had learned how to ignore it long ago.

"Knute, I'm sorry. I know what Lolessa means to you, and I know she deserves to know you're okay. But what will it matter if it's going to be all over tomorrow?"

"Don't be stupid, Vic! You said yourself this might not be over tomorrow. And then what? Huh? Lolessa goes on wondering if I'm alive or dead? How long should I expect her to wait and wonder? And what if I don't make it, huh? I want her to at least know I died doing something worthwhile!"

Victor was appalled. "You tell her what we're doing here in this letter? Are you stupid?"

Knute grabbed for the letter, but Victor's considerably taller frame kept it well out of his reach.

"Vic, don't make me hit you, man..." Knute said with venom. Victor quickly backed away, completely believing his friend's threats. He'd never seen Knute so furious before. Especially not at him. But he wouldn't give Knute back the letter. That would be sacrificing the cause they had been fighting for and believing in for months. And he could hardly believe Knute would be willing to risk it all so easily for a girl who didn't deserve him, anyway.

"You've always hated Lolessa! You're doing this to hurt her!"

"No!" Victor said. "I'm doing this for the Resistance! For Kislev! I can't let anyone, not even you, compromise our cause!" Victor ripped the letter into pieces quickly, then threw them back at Knute.

For a moment the room was silent, but the tension in the air was heavy. Knute's expression turned from anger to hatred, his brown eyes flashing. "You fucking BASTARD!" he retorted and swung at Victor before he could even comprehend what had happened. Victor fell to the ground, clutching his jaw. He should have expected Knute to react like this. Lolessa was one topic he could get quite rabid about. But regardless, Victor stood his ground.

"You know I'm right, Knute," he said, not even trying to get up. It seemed Knute had backed off and was staring at his feet, not daring to look at him.

"Don't talk to me," Knute said quietly, his tone still hateful and very serious. "Don't ever talk to me again..." With that, Knute left the room quickly.

Victor thought for a moment that Knute might try to re-write the letter and send it, but he knew Knute's pain was partly due to the fact he had realized he couldn't. Love could be such a difficult thing, especially being apart. He knew how much it had hurt Knute to leave Lolessa in the first place. But still... His serious, hateful tone...

Victor felt his throbbing chin, but it didn't hurt as much as the pain in his heart. Victor wondered whether Knute would ever talk to him again. If he knew Knute, he'd probably never forgive him if something happened and Lolessa went on never knowing...

To win Kislev only to lose his best friend in the world would be pointless. All the years they'd been together, all the fun times they'd had. No, they couldn't be over in an instant.

Victor slowly stood and looked at the torn up letter, scattered over the floor. He closed his eyes, fighting the temptation for awhile, but then he scooped them up. Victor couldn't let it end like this. Not with he and Knute never speaking ever again.

He didn't read the letter, even when he had pieced it together. It was a private thing. He only taped it together on the back with the crude, thick tape they made in Nortune, then addressed another envelope to Lolessa Guin in Nortune.

As he called the pigeon and tied the letter to its leg, he felt a strange numbness. He crossed his fingers as he sent it on its way, and prayed quickly for the safety of the Resistance. His only comfort was in remembering Knute's words, "I just want to tell her I'll be home soon. And if I don't make it, I want her to at least know I died doing something worthwhile."

Doing something worthwhile... Victor had never done anything more worthwhile in his life then fighting with the Resistance. Whether his life was to go on, or end the next day, he wanted to be by Knute's side. His best friend, his soul brother...forever.

The light outside the window of his room glowed brightly, almost blinding him. And then...

The next thing he remembered was being spoken to in a strange tongue. But worst of all...

_Who am I? Who...? Why can't I remember my name?_

The young man who was standing next to him had long, pale hair and was familiar... But he'd be darned if he could remember his name, either.

The other two men in the room were the ones yattering on in the gibberish, making Victor nervous.

"What's going on? Who are you?"

"It's pointless. They won't talk to you," the man with the pale hair said.

"You - you understand me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. But I don't have a damn clue what's going on, either."

Victor fought for a piece of memory, but the only thing he was sure of was that he had seen the pale-haired man before.

"Do I - know you?" Victor asked.

"Hell, I'm not even sure if I know myself right about now," the white haired man responded.

"Gentlemen..." one of the gibberish-speaking men said finally in the language Victor could understand. "So good to see you've both made an almost full recovery after your accident. You may not remember who you are, and it's only natural, given the circumstances. So I shall tell you. It's much easier to cope with the memory loss when you know about yourself." He walked over to the white-haired man. "You are Knute Stratski... you are an orphan, single and are from Sector 115 Worker Bee camp. You are a gear pilot in Gebler. Your rank is private, yet you have much talent. You will be working alongside Corporal Jensen of patrol force platoon F."

"Knute...Stratski..." the man said, trying out his name.

_Knute Stratski... The name sounds familiar...but why?_

"And you..." he said, pointing right at him. "You are Victor Helmholz. You are also an orphan, single, and live in Sector 110 Worker Bee camp. You are also a gear pilot in Gebler. You are very talented in gear combat, as well. You will be under the command of Corporal Schazen of patrol force platoon B. Your hard work has not gone unnoticed, gentlemen, yet it would not be proper for us to promote you at this juncture, given your current condition. We have been monitoring your abilities for quite some time. Is that clear, gentlemen?"

Victor Helmholz... Somehow it seemed right, but... the name was all he had.

"You will both be required to re-establish yourselves in the Solarian tongue in order to perform your duties. We will provide you will classes which you will be required to pass, unless you wish to be demoted. After you have been re-acclimatised, we will assess both of you for possible entry into Jugend. Is that clear, gentlemen?"

Victor nodded, for he felt he had little say in the matter.

"Very well, then. That will be all, gentlemen. Allow the guards to show you to your rooms. Remember... Work hard, get promoted!"

The guard led Victor away with a simply wave of his hand. The man in plain brown armour was completely silent the entire way out of the complex, not even daring to look at Victor during their journey. He didn't mind at first - he was too busy seeing Solaris for what he imagined was the first time, and somehow being amazed by all the strange things he was certain he'd never seen before. But as they entered the Worker Bee camp, with its high wall of faceless, characterless abodes, he decided to ask the guard something that had been on his mind the entire time.

"Hey...so what happened to me? What kind of accident was it?" Victor asked the guard as he was led into the camp.

The guard shrugged. "I don't know. We aren't really told about what happens on these levels much."

"And Sector 110?"

"No. Not even there, even though I live there," the guard said.

"Then you must know more about me than what they told me."

"No. I don't know you."

"No? But I live here, don't I?"

"You might. Maybe you didn't before. In-out, in-out...people come in and out of this place so fast. Getting promoted, getting demoted. Maybe you lived somewhere else before the accident. Or maybe you did live here. I don't know everyone."

Victor shrugged. He wasn't satisfied with the answer, but he chose to accept it.

"This is your home."

Victor stepped into the tiny room and didn't recognize a thing. It looked lived-in, but it didn't feel as if he had been the one living in it.

"I'm certain it will all come back to you in time. And if it doesn't, don't worry about it too much. Life is so fulfilling here! There's no point in mulling over the past," the guard said.

"Yeah, uh...I guess."

"Well, I'll leave you now. Tomorrow another guard will show you where to take your classes and where to go for work. You're lucky! I dream for a job in Gebler! Work hard, get promoted!" The guard bowed lightly and left.

Victor looked around. No, there was certainly something wrong about this. But who was he to say or judge? Everything had been so carefully worded as to not arouse suspicion. The Solarians just said he had amnesia... It was the best way to assimilate the kidnapped Lambs. Both brilliant and horrible.

Victor quickly adapted to life in Solaris, deciding it easier to accept his position then worry about if there was more to it than an accident. He caught on to the Solarian language quickly, as did his classmate, Knute. Both of them earned admission to the Jugend school, making them eligible to be high-ranking Gebler officers in the future. As good students as they were, their teachers were probably not sad to see them go. The time he spent fooling around in class with Knute was the most familiar thing about this place, and once again, they became fast friends.

From the moment Victor stepped into a Gebler gear, it was as if he had done it his entire life. Even though in retrospect, he and Knute had only begun learning how to pilot gears when they joined the Kislev Army, very shortly before joining the Resistance, he felt as comfortable in a gear as he did when he chummed around with Knute. His skills improved quickly, and he became so good at piloting, he was promoted to the elite Special Forces under the direct command of Sergeant Renk Elcide, who commanded B Platoon.

Not much after Victor's promotion, Knute was also promoted to the Special Forces. Now both out of the Worker Bee camps, the two moved into apartments across the hall from each other in Etrenank. Victor completely forgot about the strange circumstances that had brought him to the city in the clouds and settled into what he believed was a relatively normal life.

How wrong he had been.

.*.*.*.*.

Victor set his eyes upon Manarin again, who was so sick, thin and pale - a shadow of his former rugged, strongly-built self.

"You two..." he grumbled. His breath reeked of alcohol, and his eyes were glassy and bloodshot. "You... Helmholz and Stratski...how dare you come back here? It's all your fault, you immature fools..."

"W-what?" Victor asked, shocked. He hadn't imagined seeing Manarin again would be like this, that the old man would react such. What had happened while they were gone?

"Because of you, I lost everything. We lost everything. We looked for you two for days, but poof it was like you vanished! Without the Hopes, we lost our will to fight. We...lost hope. Kaiser Sigmund found us and brought his army to slaughter us. I'm one of the only ones left. Even Della died at their hands. I have nothing left. And it's all your fault."

Victor was stricken by their words. All his friends from the Resistance killed... how could things have changed so much just by he and Knute not being there?

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Manarin screeched suddenly and rose from his stool. "Ya both deserve to be dead for what you did! Murderers!"

Knute looked completely bewildered, but Victor chose to back away. "I'm not thirsty anymore. I think we'd both better go."

"Yeah, go! Go, you fools! What were you thinking mailing a letter from the base to Nortune, eh? What were ya, stupid! Well, they found us, thanks to you and this goddamn letter!"

Victor saw Manarin pull out a tattered piece of paper, taped together crudely. No...it couldn't be...?

"I keep this damn letter with me to remind me how goddamn stupid I was trusting a couple of stupid kids to something important! Damn bastards shoved it in my face as the base burned around me..." Manarin walked up to Knute and pushed him. "What were you thinking? Goddammit, what were you thinking! Stupid lovesick fool!"

"We really are going now," Victor said quickly. He threw the money for the drinks on the bar, took Knute's sleeve and quickly departed.

Numbness filled Victor's entire body. He remembered the people he had once shared a cause with. They had all been his friends. He had even hoped to run into some of them down here on the surface. Maybe that had been why his mind had desired to return to Nortune. But because he had actually decided to mail the letter...

Of course. By that time, Lolessa would have been seeing Neddy. Her father was a general in Kaiser Sigmund's army. Why wouldn't she betray them? Even if she didn't, the chances of it getting intercepted were greater than average, given her father's position. Oh, why did he mail that letter? Della, Lockner, Brilland... all his friends... gone because of that letter...

"What's going on, Vic? What was that guy talking about?" Knute asked.

Victor sighed. "The Kislev Liberation Army. You don't remember it, do you?"

Knute was silent as if he were attempting to gather his memories. "The name seems familiar. Is it from that chunk of time I can't remember?"

Victor nodded. "Yeah. But...I suppose with all you've been through this week already, maybe it's good you don't remember it just yet."

"I suppose it will come back. After all, Lolessa did. Much as I wish it hadn't."

"Mmmm..." Victor nodded. He shook his head sadly. "Let's just go back to the inn."

Knute nodded in agreement. "Say, do you think we made a mistake coming back here?"

"You wanted to be a Battler, right?"

"Yeah, and that's working out great, isn't it?"

"Well, you wanted some of your memories back, didn't you?"

"Not if they're only going to depress me."

Victor sighed. "Well, we're here now. There isn't much else we can do about it, right?"

_Knute...if you didn't want to hold on to the dream of being a Battler... And if you didn't want your memories back, I'd pack up and head back to Dazil right now. Finn is so lucky he's surrounded in people who love him. What I wouldn't do for a family like his._

The pair arrived back at the inn and were surprised to see Renk standing outside, looking up at the sky.

"Lot of stars tonight," he replied, his voice hollow.

Victor also looked up. "Yeah. Amazing over the city. Normally the lights squelch out the biggest majority of them."

Renk nodded.

"How are you feeling, Renk?" Knute asked.

The Sergeant nodded. "Okay, I guess. But..."

"But?" Victor asked when Renk paused.

"Nothing. Nothing you two would understand. Just...a feeling I'm getting. That something bad is coming, right? Ah, it's stupid. I just can't seem to put my guard down for a minute."

Knute put his hand on Renk's shoulder. "Hey, it's no problem. But don't worry. Solaris won't find us here. You said they weren't looking for us - I'll bet they've probably lost interest in you, too."

"I know. That makes logical sense, Stratski, but... Nah, forget it. Just a stupid feeling. I'm assuming you two didn't have any luck?"

"Nah..." Victor spoke, his voice distant. He was still thinking about the letter as the guilt threatened to clamp down on his throat.

"You okay, Helm?" Renk asked.

"Yeah, I'm alright, too. I'll be alright."

"Well, okay. I'm going to bed. I'm still really tired," Renk said.

"You sleep well, Renk," Victor replied. _I know I won't..._

"Say, Vic..." Knute said just as he moved to follow Renk inside. "What was he talking about with that letter? What did I do? What happened?"

Victor looked at his friend, and didn't know how to say it. "You didn't do anything. I'm the one who did it. And... well... we'll both deal with it when the time comes that you remember it. I don't think I should tell you until you remember it. You might see it differently than I did."

Knute put his hand on Victor's chest to prevent him from going inside. "Look, I'm tired of you keeping stuff from me. Just tell me, okay? If you think I'm gonna get all mad at you or something, then why don't you just have the balls to deal with it now instead of later? I hate being in the damn dark!"

Victor pushed by him, not daring to make eye contact. How could he tell him what had happened? How close they had come to never speaking again? How could he allow even one small piece of the blame he now felt to be shared by his best friend?

"I don't want to fight with you anymore, Knute. Really. Please, just forget it."

"We're fighting now, aren't we? Goddammit, Vic! Just tell me the truth! Stop hiding stuff from me! What did you do? What did I do? I need to know..."

Victor sighed again. Knute sure was stubborn, and, sure enough, would always end up getting his own way. Just like he did with the letter...

_No, don't think about the stupid letter. Just tell Knute what happened..._

"Okay. I'll tell you.. But please don't be mad with me, Knute."

Victor told the entire story to his friend, who still looked bewildered through most of it. Maybe he never would have remembered it on his own. Whatever Solaris had done, it worked much better and had been much harsher on Knute's brain than his own, for sure. But now that Knute knew the truth about the Resistance and what had happened that night, he felt a bit of tension off his soul.

"What the hell was so horrible about that?" Knute asked. "So I was being an asshole, and you told me so."

"Yeah, but..."

"Hey, man...don't worry about it. It obviously didn't scar me so badly that Solaris couldn't erase it. Hell, I don't know if I'll EVER get all my memories back. Which is probably a good thing, because Nortune sucks, and so do the memories from this place. God, I hate it here," Knute said.

Victor laughed slightly. He guessed Knute wasn't mad. He'd know it if he was. Knute didn't hold things in like that. Not like he did. He kept everything inside.

But...the past was the past. Maybe the destruction of the Resistance had been his fault, or perhaps not. Maybe they already knew where they were...there were too many things he didn't know in order to feel guilty about it. He'd put it away until another time. Bring it out when his mind was much clearer for thinking.

"Yeah, I hate this place, too," Victor agreed. "Still, I wish we hadn't been sent to destroy this place back when."

Knute nodded. "I'm glad the mission failed, too. I guess it's still home, whether I like it or not."

Victor only stared up at the stars, saying nothing more.

"To think I could have stayed in Dazil and helped Finn's dad out in the store. Sure it would be grunt work, but it would be preferable to all this rejection," Knute said.

"And you could have spent a bit more time with Vehra."

Knute smiled, his grin exuding an impish tone. "Oh, yeah. You bet I'd be spending a _lot_ of time with Vehra. But I guess this is the choice we made. Even though the longer I'm here, the more I think coming here was a bad idea. At least not right now, when we don't have the money to become Battlers. Say," Knute said, "do you think this is going to work? Do you think we're really going to find a job?"

Victor shook his head. "Dunno."

"Do you think we need a new strategy?"

"Maybe we do. What do you think we should do?"

Knute looked at his nails a second. "Well, I was thinking...we might do better if we try applying to places separately. I'm not suggesting we should split up for good or anything, but they're more likely to hire one person than two. And that way we can cover more ground faster. What do you think?"

"Well, it's a plan, and right now we really don't have one. So let's give it a shot for a day or two. See how it works out."

Knute nodded. "Of course it'll work. I'm brilliant."

Victor rolled his eyes. "Of COURSE you are..."

* * *

The next morning, Victor had decided to take the north-western end of the city around the arena, while Knute headed off to the north-eastern sections.

Things in the north-western end were quiet as the D Block prison came nearer. Victor had also never been to this end of the city, except once or twice as a child to see the Tournament, and a few days before in a vain attempt to apply as Battlers.

He passed a door along the far end of the arena and noticed a small sign hanging from it, reading "Help Wanted." Victor shrugged, wondering what sort of work would be available, and went inside.

It was as dark inside as Victor had expected, but nothing had prepared him for the stench which predominated the air. It was familiar...but not so familiar he could instantly identify it. That was likely a good thing.

"Be right there," a voice from an off-shooting room said. "Here about the job?"

"Uh..." Victor said, trying not to breathe too much. "Yeah..."

"Okay...one minute. Feel free to have a seat..."

Victor looked around and saw two wooden chairs at a small table. He quickly checked them for splinters, then sat down when he was satisfied.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't the 'GREAT' Victor Helmholz!"

For a moment, Victor couldn't place the face of the short, skinny man who now stood before him with a crooked smile. Someone else from the Resistance? No. Someone from school? No... hmm... Solaris? Definitely not.

"Oh, I'm hurt!" the man said. "I mean, in theory I know I was a nobody, but I'd expect at least you to recognize me, Vic."

Vic... Someone who would call him Vic. Only Knute and his closest friends from school called him that...

"It's me! Shimm!"

Oh, yeah. Crystal clear... "Uh..."

The man pouted. "You really did forget me. Well, I should have figured as much..."

Victor wished he could remember what his status with this Shimm person had been so he'd know how to best fake a good impression. After all, it appeared as if this person might possibly be the boss.

"Uh...sorry... My memories... have been kinda scattered recently. I'm sure it's nothing personal."

The one named Shimm narrowed his eyes, completely unfazed. "Yeah...right."

Victor fought desperately for the identity of this 'Shimm'. There had to be some reason why he couldn't remember, even with a name.

_Probably the forgettable type_, Victor thought to himself.

"Okay, let me give you a few hints, then. Your mansion. Summers. Garbage can."

_Garbage can! Oh YEAH! No wonder... _As Victor suspected, completely forgettable. In fact, he was sure he'd have forgotten Shimm even without Solaris' brain job. This guy Shimm had been like a barnacle while Victor was growing up, always bothering him. As the son of two of the Helmholz servants, he had always been there in the mansion, trailing Victor like a shadow. In the hall, in the family room, in the garden...in the bathroom! Victor could barely stand it! Maybe if Shimm hadn't been so irritating, it might have been bearable having him around so much. But Shimm's constant chatter would grate on any saint's nerves. In that regard, being sent away to boarding school most of the year was an even greater mercy.

The first summer after they met, Knute and Victor joined forces against his shadow. Not that Shimm ever got the hint, even after being dumped into the garbage can almost daily. Dense...annoying...clingy... It was Shimm in a nutshell.

And now he needed a job from him.

Victor hated irony.

_Ah, well_, he thought. _Roll with it and do you best. It's all you can do._

"Ah HAH! Now I remember you, Slim Shimm."

The man shuddered. "Don't call me that..."

Victor fought the urge to say "Call you what, Slim Shimm?" but then he remembered why he was there.

"Okay, I won't."

Shimm looked surprised, staring at Victor with his mouth slightly agape. "Wha-hoh! Very different from the Vic I used to know. I'm surprised you didn't use that to your advantage. You would have before."

"Yeah, well..." Victor said, because it was all he could bring himself to do.

"Sooo..." Shimm spoke, leaning on the wall. "You need a job now, do you?"

"Uh..." Could Victor really swallow his pride and fathom working for...

"Yeah, I need a job," he replied, deciding this was his only choice. He was doing this for all his friends, for his dream of being a Battler, and his pride didn't matter at that moment.

"Hmmmmm...well, you're probably over-qualified, seeing as you went to a hoity-toity school, and all."

"Do you think I'd be here if I was over-qualified?"

Shimm turned away. "It's yucky work."

_Yucky? _For a minute, Victor paused, but then remembered again how badly he needed a job. "I can take it," he said.

Shimm chucked. "Hmmm...the prospect of having _you_ work for _me_ is appealing. Well, okay. You start at eight tomorrow. Right here."

Victor tried to get excited, but found it hard. Then he supposed he could do any job for awhile until he could find something better.

"Thanks, Shimm."

"Oh HOH! Believe me, this will be LOADS of fun..."

Victor turned to leave, but then stopped when a question came into his head.

"Say, Shimm? Your family has worked for the Helmholzs for generations. Why didn't you decide to stay?"

Shimm broke out into an irritating horse laugh. Victor could hardly believe he'd never grown out of it. "I thought about it...and staying would have been an easy way out, but then I realized...I didn't want to work for _you_. Have a good day, Vic."

* * *

"Hey, you got a job? That's good!" Renk said when Victor announced it to the group.

"Hey, great, Vic!" Knute said, even happier than Renk was. "Then maybe my day will come soon."

"Yeah, hope so..." Victor hoped Knute would have better luck than he did. He sighed and sat down on one of the beds.

"Heyyyy, what is it?" Knute asked.

"Do you remember Shimm?"

Knute went distant for only a couple seconds. "Oh, yeah! Slim Shimm, your shadow!"

"Weird you remember him when I barely could."

"Your mind probably didn't WANT to remember him. I didn't until you just mentioned him. So... what about him?"

"Well, ah..." Victor paused, knowing the news would become a source of endless ridicule from Knute. But what were friends for?

"Shimm...is my boss."

There was a pause and a stunned expression from Knute. But it was quickly broken by a loud guffaw.

"You are such a good friend," Victor spoke dryly as Knute continued to laugh.

"I - I know...but Shimm...Your BOSS! What's the little weasel doing now?"

Victor realized he hadn't actually asked what the specifics of the 'yucky work' were.

"Well...something at the Arena."

"Really, now? Doing what?"

"Uh, well...I'm pretty sure he works in the stables...or something. It smelled like it, anyway."

"Stables? You're a stable boy!" Knute laughed again.

"Shut up, Knute," Victor said, dryly again.

"Sorry...sorry...oh, my ribs...Ohhh, hey wait...Why would a gear battle arena have a stable?"

The thought seemed to strike them both at once. Victor's face paled. "The...they have a Rankar... don't they?"

"Uh - well... Been nice knowing ya, Vic," Knute said, and laughed again.

"Shut up, Knute..."

* * *

"Uuugh!"

Victor crinkled his nose as a smell unlike anything he had smelled before assaulted him.

The Rankar, a giant dinosaur-like creature, was used in the tournaments at the arena. But where there was animals there was waste, and it was someone's job to pick up. Namely, him. Victor had seen the huge pile of poop and his eyes almost fell out from the shock.

"...and of course you have to pick that all up and take it to the incinerator," Shimm said, putting a shovel in Victor's hand. "It's gotta be done before the Rankar finishes its battle. You've got about two minutes."

"TWO MINUTES?"

"Uh huh. So you'd better hustle. Good luck, Mr. Helmholz."

For a stunned second, Victor could only stare at his project. But then he remembered "two minutes" and envisioned the Rankar's jaws around him, turning him into lunch. He decided he'd best get to work. Furiously he shovelled the pile, and he got discouraged when he saw he had barely made a dent. He began to dig faster and faster. The crowd rose up in cheers in the background. Victor heard the Rankar's roars from the arena and his heart fluttered into a panic. He didn't think he had ever worked so fast...

"Ah...I see you're almost done...impressive," Shimm said from outside the cage.

"Don't...have time...to talk...the Rankar..."

Shimm began to chuckle softly, and quickly it became roaring laughter. Victor realized Shimm was laughing at him.

"What?"

"You new guys...always...fall for that trick..."

"TRICK?"

Victor was hardly amused. He was covered in dung from head to toe, and already exhausted from shovelling so quickly.

"Don't worry. The Rankar has two stables. He makes such a mess, we clean one stable while he stays in the other one. Besides, the keeper has him under control. You're completely safe." Shimm laughed again, a hearty laugh. "I woulda thought you, the practical joke king, woulda seen way through that trick. Guess you're not as good as they say...but I am impressed with your shovelling. Never seen any scoop up so much shit in so little time. I think this is going to work out great! Well, keep working and get the stall spotless. I'll be back shortly to see how you're doin'."

Shimm left Victor steaming mad. How could the little sneak have gotten the better of him like that? Well...Victor couldn't leave it like that. He would have to get even. But... how? He needed to take some time and think about it. He knew he would have plenty of time as he shovelled away.

Victor continued to work, his mind half on his revenge, and half on how much the job sucked.

_I could not, and would not do this my whole life if I could help it... but for now... until I find something better, this will have to do... no matter how much of a brain-drain it is._

"Say, Vic," Shimm asked later when he sauntered by to check on him.

"What?" Victor half groaned and half snapped.

"I was wondrin'...what a rich kid like you is doing in a job like this? I mean... you have the chance to be anything you want. You can go to the best schools, make connections. Things people of my class just can't do as well, if at all. I was just the son of a servant. I didn't have the opportunities you did. So now I'm stuck shovelling shit my whole life."

Victor thought about all he had been through since leaving the school. Had it been worth it? Would he have just been better off succumbing to his father's will and becoming an accountant? He supposed it wasn't a bad job. Compared to this one, it was a great job - just boring. He could live with boring. At least it was boring and respectable. But could he let his father win? Never. That would be worse than working at the stables.

"I see what you mean, Shimm," Victor said. " I made some mistakes in my life. Big ones. But I'm still young enough to fix them. Do you think I want to shovel shit my whole life?"

"Who wants to?" Shimm asked. "I think the only job worse than this one is probably the guy who scrapes the road kill off the street. I saw a guy doing that once, and it made me feel better about my job."

"Yeah, probably..." Victor said. He had seen war, fought in one. Killed, and almost been killed... But in 'this' world, none of that mattered. He hadn't been a hero in Solaris, and he was far less here. But at least he was a member of Gebler's elite force. Here he was only good at scooping up the dung of mindless beasts.

"Well, keep working. I'll tell you when you can take a lunch."

Victor nodded. Now his mind was filled with many more thoughts. Should he, or shouldn't he? Could he let his father win?

But...just maybe...his father was right...

* * *

The dusk had fallen over Nortune by the time Victor arrived back at the inn. Knute was outside, looking around in the lobby.

"So...how was your first day?" Knute asked right away.

Victor grunted. "Don't ask."

"That bad?"

"You know, that Shimm kid is as much a pain in the ass as he was when we were kids. Now he's prancing all around like he's better than me because he's got seniority over me. I don't really much care HOW long he's been shovelling shit before me. I'm going to SO get back at him tomorrow. Say, maybe you can come work at the stables. I'd have seniority over someone, then."

"Huh! No thanks. I've got a better job lined up."

"Oh you do, huh? Where?"

"The Enchantment Escort Service."

"You must be kidding," Victor spoke.

"No. They accepted me on the spot. Pretty good, huh? I always knew a simply perfect face like mine would be in high demand."

"Are you fully aware of what your tasks are, Knute?"

"Sure. Escorting women. What could be better?"

"Geez, you're awfully naive. I really don't think we're that desperate yet."

"Desperate? I don't know what you mean."

Victor eyed him suspiciously. "You really have no idea, do you?"

"Idea of what?"

"Oh, geez... If you don't know, I think I'll just let you find out for yourself. It's your body and your life. As long as you can live with yourself."

Knute thought about it. "Oh, that! Oh, don't worry about it. The lady said this isn't that kind of escort service."

"Suuuure it's not."

"Hey, she gave me her word."

Victor rolled his eyes. "Whatever. So when do you start?"

"I've got an assignment for tomorrow night. I've gotta show up at the office at five. They'll fit me for a tux, and then I'll go pick up my cutie. Hey, why don't more guys use this to meet women?"

Victor didn't say anything in reply. He was still too stunned that Knute would ever consider something so stupid. "Well, just don't do anything you're going to regret."

"I told you it's not that kind of escort service."

"Okay, okay. Whatever. I'm going inside."

* * *

Victor had planned his day very carefully. He did as he was asked, and even let Shimm continue to boss him around. Nothing Shimm said or did would sway Victor from his plan, however. He had made his decision, and if he was going to go, he'd do so with a good laugh.

"Now make sure this stable is spotless. I know you only just cleaned it, but the Rankar had another good win and was especially frisky today. Uh, and could you kinda pick up the pace? You're working much too slow today."

Victor knew it was a never-ending cycle of shovelling Rankar poop and other such pleasantries. He almost felt bad for poor Shimm. Almost.

Victor looked around a corner. Shimm had gone into his office, and would probably be gone for at least fifteen minutes. Just enough time...

Fifteen minutes passed and just as Victor suspected, Shimm emerged from his office to check on him and see whether he was done. But when he arrived at the stable, his heart stopped.

Torn clothes were strewn all over the ground, covered in blood. The gate at the back of the cage was opened wide, the hinges squeaking slightly. The sound of the Rankar's roars came from the distance.

"OH NO!" Shimm exclaimed, blanching as he saw it. "I know I joked about it, but it's never really happened! Ohmygod VICTOR! H-HELP! THE RANKAR'S LOOSE! IT'S EATEN MY STABLE BOY!"

Victor watched the entire scene from a shadowy corner. This was even better than he expected. Shimm was completely wrecked. Victor saw a dark stain form on Shimm's pants, and he held back laughter. No. This was too good to destroy just yet.

Shimm began to run around in circles, having no idea what to do or how to proceed. He was screaming, "The Rankar's loose! The Rankar's loose!" and a bunch of other things Victor just couldn't make out. Ohhhhh, this was sweet revenge for the joke Shimm had played on him the day before. And Victor always had to have the last laugh. Yeah, maybe that was a bad trait. But who was perfect?

He wanted to hold out for longer, but he couldn't help it. Shimm looked so ridiculous, running around aimlessly and screaming at every shadow.

"Relax, Shimm. The Rankar's secure in the far stables," Victor said, stepping from his hiding spot.

Shimm turned to stare at Victor and jumped. After a couple moments, Shimm screamed like a woman and pointed at Victor like he'd seen a ghost. "V- Victor... you're... you're not..."

"Nah, nah. Just a little joke."

Shimm's expression turned to one of scorn. "That wasn't funny. I nearly had a heart attack."

Victor scoffed, "Too bad. Poor Shimm needs a diaper."

"Shut up!" Shimm said, trying to cover up his mess with his hands. "You are aware I'll have to fire you for this."

"Ah, who cares? I quit. See ya, Slim Shimm."

Victor headed back to the inn quietly. Yes, he had made the right decision. He only hoped Knute would forgive him for it some day.

* * *

Knute looked at the piece of paper the company had given him, then looked at the large house in A Block, not far from his own in childhood. Oh, he remembered who lived here, though he wished it had been one of the things his memory had chosen to blot out. He had hoped this job would be a chance to meet some beautiful, single ladies, but when he had received this assignment, his image had been shattered.

"Oh, please...oh, please...oh, please...don't let her recognize me..." he chimed quietly to himself as he waited on the doorstep. A well-dressed man answered the door.

"Yes?" he asked.

Knute stood dumbfounded a moment, not knowing quite how to respond.

The butler looked perturbed. "Might I ask what your business here is?"

Um...I'm, um...I'm from Enchantment Escort Services. My name is Kn... Karl. I'm here to pick up..."

"Ah, yes. Lady Lavand. One moment, and I will call her."

Knute hoped somehow Lady Lavand had a young niece visiting her who was also named Lady Lavand, though he knew it was too much to hope for. He knew when he saw the old lady coming into the hall all dressed up.

Oh, yes. He remembered Lady Lavand - a crotchety old friend of his mother's who had always lingered at the edge of his life like a bad seed.

Knute could still feel her pinching his cheeks in an act of affection gone horribly wrong. "OOOOH! You're such a cuuute widdle boy! Cheeky cheeky!" He could hardly believe the old woman would still be alive after all these years! She had looked ancient twenty years ago. Thank goodness he had been just a child when he last saw her. Less chance she'd recognize him.

"Well, well, well...aren't you a cute young man? Boy, that service knows my taste by now. They always send me a fresh, polished one. I like polished ones..."

The way she said 'polished' made Knute's skin crawl.

"Uh...I'm Karl," he responded.

"Ah HAH! Karl! What a stud muffin they've sent me tonight. I'm so excited!"

Knute breathed a sigh of relief. At least it seemed the old woman hadn't recognized him. At least that was turning out alright.

But another chill went up his spine when Lady Lavand stealth fully reached behind him and pinched his posterior. He had never seen an old woman move so fast. Or any woman. Or any human, for that matter.

He gulped, trying to ignore what she had just done and keep a strong face. "I guess we should go..." he said quickly, maybe in the hope it would speed up the evening.

"Go? We aren't going anywhere..."

Knute looked at the old woman quizzically, suddenly not liking this situation one bit. "Um...but aren't I your escort?"

The old woman cackled...a familiar cackle from the nightmares of his childhood. Why couldn't his memory have blocked this?

"I love them naive... Come here, sonny. I'll show you a good time!"

She grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. Before he got over being stunned, she was on top of him, trying to rip off his clothes. He remembered the slobbery, wet kisses, the hairy lip...oh the horror!

For someone her age, she was deceptively strong. At first he couldn't push her off him. But then he realized he'd have to throw his entire body weight into it if he was going to break free.

"OOFFF!" he shouted, pushing the old lady off him. This caused her to roll several times before hitting the wall. He jumped to his feet and ran desperately for the door.

"Oooh...a spunky one..." Lady Lavand shouted out as Knute reached the door. But he didn't dare wait around for her to come after him again. Before he dared slow down, he was halfway back to B Block. His pace slowed to a walk, then to a slow shuffle. He didn't want to get back to the inn too quickly. He hadn't yet decided what he was going to say to the guys.

* * *

Victor had been silent most of the evening. He hadn't seen Knute since he had gone off to work. After quitting his job, instead of going back to the inn right away, Victor had decided to go for a long walk around the city and think about things and how they were quickly going to change. He also wondered how he could tell Knute. His friend would be so disappointed in him when he found out.

When he finally got back, Victor had found a place by the window where he could look out on the entrance of the inn. He wanted to catch Knute before he came in and got too comfortable. Knute had been so mad at him a few days ago for keeping things from him. So...he decided for once, he wouldn't wait.

Though Victor's watchful eyes were looking out for Knute, his ears were on what was happening behind him. Vance had taken his last creation, the GPS, and created a new one - this one a tracking device. Still, there was little use for it in Nortune, but Victor decided he wasn't going to say anything. Vance seemed so proud of it, and Renk seemed impressed, so why would he stick his nose in it?

"It's almost finished. Just about another hour or two, and I'll try it out. You're sure you don't mind, Renk?"

"Mind being a guinea pig to one of your new toys? Yeah, I mind."

Vance must have looked a bit disappointed, but Victor wasn't looking at either one of them. He could only judge so by the couple seconds of silence between his friends. It was confirmed when Renk responded, "Hey, kid, you know I'm kiddin'. I don't mind helping you out at all. I need a walk, anyway. I haven't had a good drink in weeks. Maybe I'll head out for a beer and hope it isn't as lousy as the stuff was in Bledavik."

"Well, when I do get it working, just go wherever you want out there. I should be able to find you if all goes well. But hey, I'm confident this one's gonna work great. I'd test it in here, but it's kinda pointless. Now if I'd put the tracking device on Knute, then we'd know exactly where he is right now."

"Probably in that chick's bed," Renk said. "Poor Knute. He's a sucker."

"Sucker?" Vance said. "What if she's pretty?"

Renk laughed. "I doubt it!"

Victor did his best to laugh along with them, but he found it hard. No, Knute was going to hate him for this. But maybe he could help him see reason.

Eventually, he saw Knute approaching and he rose to go to the lobby.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, guys," he said to Vance and Renk as he left. He then sighed, knowing it was time.

Knute didn't come inside after about a minute, so Victor went outside and saw Knute standing outside the inn's door, looking up at the stars.

"Hey..." Knute said when he saw his presence.

"Hi, Knute." He walked up beside him and also decided to look. You couldn't see many in Nortune - not like it had been in the open desert. But certainly more than they had ever seen in Solaris, with the backwards gravity.

"What's up?" Knute asked him, tearing him away from his view.

"Nothing much. I quit my job."

"Uh, yeah. Me too."

"Um hmmm. I supposed you wouldn't be able to do it."

"Nah."

Victor sighed. No more reason to delay this any longer than he had to.

"We've almost run out of the money the Broyers gave us," Victor said. "After tonight, we have no more for the inn. And only enough for two more days of food."

Knute paused, and Victor could tell it hadn't been a surprise to his friend. Knute finally replied, "I'm beginning to wonder if it's in our best interests to commit a crime to be put in D Block. At least we'd have a decent place to sleep. And a cheaper foot in the door to the Battling Arena."

Victor didn't like Knute's response. "You're kidding, right?"

"Don't be shocked if I'm not."

Was Knute really that desperate? Well then...maybe this wasn't the wrong decision.

"Well, you can do whatever you want, Knute. I know what I have to do."

Again, more silence. Victor hated it.

"You're gonna go back and work for your dad, right? You're going to become a boring old accountant."

Victor sighed. "I don't see I have much choice. I have to eat."

Well, there it was. Out in the open. And it didn't ease Victor's heart one bit.

"Huh! I should have supposed as much."

"Don't be mad, Knute."

"I'm not mad!" he snapped. "I'm just..."

Knute walked farther ahead of him, but said nothing more.

"You feel betrayed," Victor said. Of course it was true. He was going back to the world they had both vowed never to go back to. He probably would, as all their friends before them, become his father. Why wouldn't Knute feel betrayed? He would if it was the other way around.

"I do not feel betrayed," Knute replied, but Victor could tell the half-heartedness in his answer.

"Yeah, you do. Admit it. You feel betrayed."

Knute turned to him. "I thought we were a team. I thought we stuck together through everything."

The anger in Knute's eyes as he spoke was enough to make Victor's heart sink. But he wasn't the one who was wrong! But how could he explain it? Explain the thing that seemed so obvious to him? Knute was still younger than he was - he didn't understand.

"We still are a team. But this is different. We're not kids anymore, Knute. This isn't Solaris, and this isn't a game. This is reality. We have to live somehow. Life on the surface sucks, but it's the way it is."

Knute still said nothing.

"Brother..." Victor said, as if it would help. He knew deep in his heart it wouldn't, though.

"Don't...don't even try..." Knute said.

"I can find you a job in the company, too. I'm sure there's a job in PR you could do. You've got charisma. The customers will eat it up."

"Forget it."

Victor shook his head. "What is it, Knute? Your pride? Come on, it's not a bad job. And if you're good at it, you can make a lot of money. Fast track your way to a gear. It wouldn't have to be forever if you didn't want it to be."

"I don't want money and I don't want a gear!" he exclaimed. "Not if that's how I have to get it!"

"What do you expect me to do for you then, if you won't let me help you out?"

"I don't want your help, okay? Just leave me alone!"

He stormed off into the night, and Victor chose not to follow him. After all, what more could he say? Things just couldn't be the way Knute wanted them to be.

"You just want to be by my side and do everything together..." Victor whispered to himself. "You've always looked at me like a big brother, but...it's time to let go, Knute. I have to go my way, and you have to go yours. It doesn't mean we have to stop being friends and stop hanging together, but...it's gonna take some adjusting for both of us. I'd be lying if I didn't think going back was gonna be hard on me, too."

* * *

Knute walked on in the Nortune night, lost in his thoughts and memories of the past.

_It's as I thought. This was a bad idea. And now we're all suffering. I mean, we were better off in Solaris. There we had talent and a title and a decent apartment and decent pay, doing something we loved. Here we have nothing. If I had known what life was going to be like here, I never would have longed to leave! I would be in Dazil - hell, I'd be with Vehra. She was such a nice girl. I think I could have grown quite fond of her..._

_We vowed to do everything together, Vic. When we decided to run away from school to 'conquer the world', we stuck together. We made a pact that we'd never become our parents, that we'd never go back to that life. It led us to join the Kislev military. We didn't need anything but each other then. Soul brothers, we called each other. Even when Solaris kidnapped us. Not even reprogramming could make us forget our friendship. But now, something as simple as 'reality' is going to rip us apart._

_I wish I was still sixteen, alone on the open plains of Kislev, trying to decide what I was going to do with my life. Had I known what would happen, I would have probably chosen a different path. Maybe when we joined the Resistance, Solaris had a chance to see something in us that meant something to them. But here...I never finished school. I never aspired to anything much in this world. My dad wanted me to go into high finance, become a stock trader, but I never really liked the fact he had set up my life without asking me what I wanted, so I resisted anything he suggested. I think I regret it now. If I had been older, more mature, maybe I would have seen things more clearly._

_I'm just a loser in this world._

_I've never been anything but a loser._

A sparkle in the sky caught his eye, and he was drawn to it. It was as if the stars were falling from the heavens. Glints of light rained on the city, showering it in a beautiful light show.

"What the hell?" Knute asked. "This is weird..."

He chose to go back to the inn. As he entered, he saw Victor and Vance at the window, also looking at it.

"What do you suppose it is?" Victor asked.

Vance shook his head.

"I was gonna ask the same thing," Knute said.

At that moment, a strange feeling overcame Knute. He felt so much stronger - like he could take on the world and Emperor Cain all by himself. Take on the Emperor? He hadn't realized until then that he had never considered taking on the Emperor before, even though he had always had very little respect for him. Had there been something holding him back before?

"Do you guys all feel that...?" Victor asked aloud.

Knute, Vance and Renk all nodded.

"It's - fantastic!" Knute exclaimed. "I feel invincible!"

"Me too..." Vance spoke.

A scream pierced their ears from not far away, but it was not the first one. Many screams began to rise into the night.

"What's going on?" Knute questioned.

A creature broke through the window in the room next to them and ran off. It was hideous, whatever it was.

"What the hell was that?" Knute said, pointing to the creature.

"I don't know. But even the ugliest demi-human doesn't compare to that thing..." Victor said.

There was a strange noise from the corner of the room which caught everyone's attention. They all turned around to investigate.

Renk was hunched over, making odd noises.

"Renk?" Knute questioned.

"G-G-Ghack...!" was all Renk could manage.

"Renk?" Vance exclaimed.

"Guhah...gurk...!" Renk spluttered. "H - Help - me..."

Knute and Victor ran to his side.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"No...no..." Vance whispered, as if he knew.

Before their eyes, Renk's form changed. His spine bent and he was left with a hunchback...his skin became dark and withered until the bones in his hands were visible. Whatever was happening it also seemed very painful, and Renk's screams filled all their ears.

Vance had turned away from the scene, hands over his ears to block out the screams. It was all Knute could see besides Renk's change.

"My...god!" Knute breathed. He had never seen anything like this before. His mind wanted him to turn away, but his body wouldn't allow him to. What was happening to their good friend? In all his years, he had never heard of this. It filled his heart with dread.

Renk's mutation stopped. Knute was still paralyzed, unable to process what had just happened. How could one easily comprehend such a thing?

For a long time, there was silence in the room. Then Vance made what sounded like a sobbing sound, and ran for the washroom, slamming the door.

"Renk...?" Victor asked, his voice also bewildered.

Renk looked at his hands and felt his face. He walked slowly over to the mirror on the dresser, and gasped. He looked for a long time, as if trying to fathom it himself.

Eventually he turned and looked at them all, the pain, fear and humiliation in his eyes, and he began to bolt towards the window.

The other two were too shocked to react. They could only stare as Renk jumped through the window and sped off into the night...

~ END OF CHAPTER 4 ~

* * *

A/N: Well, the re-write is coming along at a good clip, but I'm feeling torn. I really hate sounding like so many authors on here, but if you read, PLEASE REVIEW! It would just be good to know someone cares whether I'm doing this or not. Not that I won't finish it either way, but it is nice to know. So tell me - what do you like? What to you dislike? Should I go back and simplify chapter 6 and 7 so I can just post it on the older version of the story and forget about this version? This re-write is taking a lot of energy, but I'm getting the feeling nobody is reading it. If you are, I really do thank you. I love these boys, and when the day comes when I finally finish this epic, then I'm really going to be a bit sad. Working with them has been so much fun! That really is the main reason I'm writing it (welcome to fan fiction - it's certainly not for money or glory), but I also like to know other people are enjoying my work.

Oh, man. I'm begging for reviews. I've stooped to a new low... But I think part of the reason is that Xenogears is 12 years old now, and all the fans have moved on to better things ;_; We are still out there, though. I think a PSN version of the game would help (yes, I know they have it - in Japan .) Here's hoping for an English version. I'd be there. I was for Suikoden I. Ignore me if I'm behind the times and it actually has happened (after this, I'm checking).

Expect chapter 5 really soon. I'm not going to be changing much, but there will be a couple new things and a bit of tweaking (I fear I love the ellipsis too much and I do tend to be a little wordy at some times).**  
**


	5. The Plains of Kislev

**Gebler Special Forces: Chapter 5  
The Plains of Kislev**

Victor stared in bewildered silence, as did Knute, who stood beside him, staring after Renk as his form disappeared into the night.

The chaos on the streets was obvious as screams, both close and from afar, rose from the night. Renk had not been the only one to change, that was certain. But...

Victor had completely forgotten about Vance, who now came out of the bathroom cautiously.

"He's...gone?" the young man asked, his voice as quiet and scared as a child's.

Victor could only nod in response. "I don't...he's...yeah, he's gone..."

Vance rushed over to the bed. Victor hadn't noticed before that there was a small hand-held device lying there, a green light on it flashing away slowly.

"I'm going after him. I can't let him die. I won't let it happen," Vance said, quickly gathering his things.

"What's going on? What is this? What happened?" Knute asked, his tone both numb and horrified.

"I don't have time to explain it. Let's just hurry. And be battle ready," Vance said.

Victor waited for Knute to move, but he was still in shock. He could barely make sense of it himself. One minute they were all together, probably for what would have been the last night. Vance and Renk were working on some sort of experiment with the machine. Knute had just returned to the room... The sky had lit up with falling stars... Then...

Nothing about it made sense.

Regardless, he trusted Vance. Somehow the younger soldier knew something that he didn't. If Vance said to be battle ready, Victor decided it would be in his best interests to listen.

"Hey, Knute...snap out of it, will you? We've got to go and look for Renk."

Knute sat down numbly on the bed. "Yeah...I...guess..."

Victor sighed, feeling a bit better knowing that Knute was snapping out of it. He took Knute's pistol out of the drawer and gave it to him. "Okay, then. Let's get out of here."

* * *

Several hours had passed, and the only light on the open plain was Vance's small work light.

"Think you'll have it fixed soon?" Helm asked Vance, who was looking at the hand-held tracking device he had created.

Vance was completely bewildered as he looked at it. "Must be a loose wire or something. But I can't think anymore. I'll look at it again in the morning when I've got better light and hope Renk doesn't remember that he's got the thing hooked up to him."

Stratski stretched. "That's actually sort of good. I'm exhausted. I can't walk anymore."

"Yeah. I think we should all get some rest. I've had a long day. There's nothing we can do until morning, anyway. I'm sure Renk will be okay. We'll pick up his trail tomorrow. He's probably closer than we think," Helm stated.

"Yeah, he probably is. I mean, how much can he run, anyway? He's older than all of us," Stratski chimed in.

"You'd be surprised. He has amazing speed and strength now," Vance spoke absently, not even realizing he has said it aloud.

Helm gave Vance a confused look, but Vance chose not to elaborate further on it.

Helm eventually said, "Well, I still don't think he'll get that far. So don't worry about it."

Vance nodded. "I'm going to just rest quietly for a bit. See if I can clear my head. I might be able to think better with a bit of rest."

"I'm just going to stay up for a bit longer," Stratski said. "We'll be quiet so you can rest."

Vance nodded, turned his back from them, and lowered his head onto his arms. Resting in a quiet place helped him rejuvenate slightly, and he knew he would need it. He fought the urge to close his eyes entirely, despite how the exhaustion ripped through him.

It was pointless even trying to work on his broken device at the moment. Instead, his mind drifted back for a moment to when he'd given Renk the other half.

"And this thing is supposed to do what, exactly?"

"It's a tracking device. You leave this little receiver with something or someone who might get lost. If you do end up losing it, you can use this other piece with the light lead you back to it. The light blinks faster the closer you are to it and should beep when you've found it. It works on things within this room, but I designed it to be used for long range, and I haven't tested that function of it yet. Which is why I'm giving it to you. How deep are your pockets?"

"This thing won't fall out. They're pretty deep. So what do you want me to do?"

"Just...go somewhere. Somewhere sort of far from here. I'll wait about fifteen minutes for you to get there, then I'll come and try to find you. Assuming it works alright."

"Oh, it'll work. Your other stuff seems to."

"Yeah...but everything still needs a test."

"Heh. Happy to oblige. Besides, it's about time I get outta this stuffy room and go for a good walk. I'm actually in the mood. How about that?"

"That's great, Renk. So you're feeling a bit better?"

"Yeah...a bit. Enough for a good walk in the night air. You should be getting out, too. We both need to get out of this room for a bit."

Vance sighed. For a brief moment, it had seemed like Renk was going to be okay. And everything changed so rapidly...

Vance brought out his book again and began to write.

_I really shouldn't be stopping to write in this, but I'm tired, and I admit that I can't think anymore. After tonight, there's little chance I'll be able to sleep, either. Seeing Renk...like THAT...brings back too much. So I'm letting my mind rest by writing this. It's the only thing I can do._

_Thankfully, my tracking device was working fairly well until a few minutes ago. I'm not sure what the problem is, but I'm pretty sure it's on my end. I can't think of what I've done wrong. As I said, I'm far too tired to figure it out right now. I'm glad I made the thing, though. Co-incidence that Renk and I were just about to test it when this happened. I don't know how long we would have searched in that city for him. He bolted right for the city outskirts, and seems to be wandering out here, in the Plains of Kislev. I only hope that when we find him, it won't be too late to do something. _

_Not that I know what to do. Or even if it's really safe to do so. But I can't abandon him. Not this time. Now that I have some control over things, I'll change things. I won't let history repeat itself._

Vance put his journal in his pack quickly and leaned back into the grass. Regardless of how hard the ground beneath him was, he didn't feel it. He'd been fighting sleep the entire time he'd been writing, that incessant urge to sleep. He'd managed to catch the odd catnap in the days they were in Nortune, but only when Renk was awake and watching to see if he was beginning to dream. Now there was nobody to wake him if it happened. And he still wasn't ready to face his nightmares.

Stratski and Helm had already fallen asleep, it seemed. Good. They wouldn't know he was planning to stay up all night. He couldn't tell them why he feared sleep so much. They'd laugh and say he was weak. He knew it. Vance knew that was a bad reason, but who liked being ridiculed?

He looked up, and saw that the sun's orange glow was tickling the edge of the horizon. Sunrise already. How long had they been out here travelling, following Renk? All night. And likely they would be all day. Vance hadn't thought of how he'd capture Renk when or if they did catch up to him, but he supposed that would be another thing to deal with when the time came. There were too many things that couldn't be said for certain.

He looked at his device again, trying to focus on it instead of thoughts of sleep. Now that he'd cleared his mind slightly, he saw that the problem with the tracking device had just been a loose wire. He cursed himself for missing such an obvious problem, but supposed it was just that he needed more sleep. He quickly re-soldered the wire and tested it. The green light flashed again, humming softly when Vance pointed it towards the north-west. Renk hadn't gone much off course, it seemed.

Vance wanted to stand and announce that they could continue on, but his legs wouldn't co-operate. Instead he felt his eyelids close, and he couldn't fight to keep them open. At least until he saw a light shining in his eyes from above. Vance jolted awake and saw the gear approaching them from a distance, its lights trained on their makeshift camp.

Helm and Stratski were also up and staring towards it, looking alarmed.

"I don't like this..." Stratski mumbled as if to himself, but everyone could hear him.

"Nah..." Helm replied.

"It's not one of Solaris' gears...it's too makeshift," Helm said, and Vance agreed. The gear wasn't graceful enough to be one of the Gebler fleet.

"It's definitely coming this way..." Helm spoke. "Should we hide?"

"Where? There's nowhere to hide," Stratski said quietly.

Vance's eyes never left the gear as it landed about fifty feet from them. He stood quickly, holding his pistol in check as the cockpit slowly opened.

At first, the situation seemed threatening, especially since the pilot's large form ran from the cockpit towards them. But then Vance felt foolish upon realizing who it was.

"Oh, thank God youse guys are okay!" came the voice.

"Finn!" Vance exclaimed.

"Oh, Vance, Stratski, Helm...I'm just so glad youse guys are safe!" Finn grabbed Stratski in a bear hug which nearly strangled the life out of the smaller-statured man.

"Uh...urk...it's good to see you too, Finn...ugh...now let me go..."

"Oh, uh..." Finn released him. "Yeah. Sorry."

Stratski coughed in response.

"I was headin' ta Nortune, but then I saw people on the ground on the heat sensor and I wondered if it was youse guys! When I got closer, I realized it was! Wait..." Finn said, surveying the crowd. "Where's Renk?"

The silence became thick. Stratski opened his mouth to tell him, but the look in Finn's eyes told that he had already figured it out.

"No...not Renk, too..." Finn spoke numbly. "It can't be true..."

"Yeah...it is..." Helm said.

"Sorry, Finn."

"Is he still alive?" Finn asked.

"We think so. We're looking for him. He ran out this way, but we haven't found him yet."

Finn sighed in relief. "Well then, there's a chance...a bigger chance than mom and Vehra had..."

"Them, too?"

Finn was silent as if remembering it all. Vance remembered how close Finn had been to his family, and for him, losing them would be a terrible blow. And they had been such nice people...

A flash of memory came over Vance, but he shook it off. This wasn't the time.

"I'd rather not talk about it... but mom... dad... and Vehra... they're not coming back to this world..." Finn spoke lowly. The tone in his voice, the thought that it had all been taken away from him in an instant...

"Holy..." Helm said. "This thing has spread as far as Dazil..."

Vance couldn't hold back his tears. It was too much. This was all becoming too much...

"Hey, Vance...you okay?" Finn asked him.

Vance approached him. "I understand..." he said softly to Finn. "I'm so sorry..."

Finn took Vance in his arms, but was gentler with him than he had been with Stratski.

"Thanks, Vance. You're a pal..."

"Uh huh..."

Finn released Vance, who hurriedly wiped his eyes. Nobody was staring at him. Good.

"Have you heard any reports on the airwaves on what's going on?" Helm asked.

Finn scratched his head. "Well...a bit. A couple transmissions from Solaris, and I think another one from Bledavik. Things aren't lookin' good. This thing's something like a disease, they said. It's pretty wide-spread. Even some people in Solaris have changed. It's indy...indes...indisk-something."

"Indiscriminate?" Helm corrected.

"Yeah! I think that was the word..." Finn said. "It's bad, right?"

"Oh, yeah. It's bad, alright," Helm spoke. "Do they have any ideas on a cause? Or a cure?"

Finn shrugged. "Lots of ideas floatin' around. Nothing solid, though. I've been listening all the way here to find youse guys, and nothing."

Helm stretched. "Well, it's great to have you back, Finn. And good to see that you're okay, too."

"Yeah," Vance agreed. "Now if only we could find Renk..."

"Wouldn't it be easier ta find him with the gear I took? We can see him much better from the sky."

"Hey, Finn's right," Helm said. "Even a civilian gear like this is faster than a man on foot. Now we know what direction he went in. Or do we? Vance, did you fix your machine?"

Vance nodded. "Easily."

"Good. Who's going to go up first?"

"Renk's gonna be way too strong for just one of us guys," Finn said. "Better get a couple of us to go."

Vance nodded. "Helm, you and Stratski stay behind in the camp. I'll go with Finn, since I know how to use my tracking device."

"Yeah, okay."

Finn hopped back into the cockpit of the worker gear, and Vance squished into a small corner, the only room left inside due to Finn's large gait.

"We'll have to be careful," Finn said. "He might be Renk, but he's gonna be dangerous. Bein' like that makes 'em crazy, and it won't matter we're buddies to him."

"I know, Finn. I know all too well. Let's just go and find him."

* * *

Finn pressed the gear northward. It had taken a bit of time for Vance to regain the most exact track on Renk, but he was eventually successful. The light was flashing quicker now, indicating that they were closer to their goal.

"You sure this is the right way, Vance?" Finn asked while he drove the gear northbound.

"I think so. My machine does, anyway. He's stopped moving. He's probably hiding in those mountains over there."

"I hope that thing you said you stuffed in his pocket didn't fall out."

"I hope not," Vance said quietly. He was worried about that possibility himself, but he couldn't think of that. They would catch up to Renk. Even as he was, there was no way he could outrun a gear.

"Keep going straight?"

"Yes. Towards those mountains."

Finn nodded, kicking up the speed on the gear and racing them closer to Renk.

* * *

_They're close...really close...but...I can't run anymore.  
_

_Please, guys...just...leave me alone and let me die like this. Don't want...to hurt you guys..._

_That smell...blood...delicious...so hungry..._

"Renk!" a voice called out.

The smell of food so overwhelming...the ache in his heart overwhelming...

"Get away! Don't look for me! Go back to Nortune an' don't follow me GURK"

"Renk, where are you?" A different voice. Finn? Why was he here?

_He smells delicious..._

_He's my friend...but...I'm so hungry..._

"Go away! All of you, just go away!"

"We're here to help!"

_If they truly wanted to help, they'd leave me here. They just care about me too much. Damn..._

"I think his voice is coming from this way."

"But my machine says he's THIS way..."

_The machine...so that's how they found me... I shoulda thought of that and smashed it..._

_They're close now. Really close. They smell...irresistible. Gotta fight...the urge ta..._

BEEP BEEP BEEP... the machine's sharp tone emitted three times in the air, startling him. Finn stepped out before him.

_His blood...smells...so good...can't resist...trying him..._

Renk lunged for his neck, but Finn raised his arm before he could reach him. Renk latched on to Finn's forearm, biting deep into his skin...tearing it open with his sharp teeth...

Finn's scream rose in Renk's ears and couldn't be drowned out by the rush of Finn's blood into his own, filling his need for food and so much more...

_Why's he got to scream? Why's he remindin' me that I care for him like a brother? How can I have done this? How? But...I'm so hungry and he tempted me._

_I want more..._

* * *

"Oh, no! Finn!" Vance called out.

Vance watched as a man only vaguely resembling Renk jumped from a hiding spot behind a rock and was now latched onto Finn's arm. He had been so fast...

Vance knew how dangerous the situation had become. Finn was too stunned to react. He would have to move fast. He felt a rush of energy and decided to use it. He had readied the shackles and approached Renk from behind.

"Vance! Look out!" Finn shouted.

Vance felt a hard impact in his chest and hit the ground before he had even realized he'd been hit. Renk had sent him flying as if he'd been weightless. It took him a few moments to realize he wasn't in any major pain and to clear his thoughts. Renk growled like an animal, but otherwise stood there and didn't make a sound. His expression was filled with despair.

"Renk...please...let us..."

"I warned you to... GURKLE...stay...KHEK..."

"Never. I can't abandon you, Renk," Vance said. "Now calm down long enough for us to control you."

"C-can't... You smell so good...so hungry...I'm..."

Renk looked at Finn and paused. Vance could tell something in him was changing. Renk cupped two deformed hands over his head and his mouth began to quiver.

"I - I'm...GHACK ...so sorry, Finn. I'm..."

Renk slipped to his knees, holding out his arms. "I'm not fully formed yet...I'm...I'm gonna go completely...eventually... but...for now...I can still resist...for short periods of time. Lock me up while I'm strong enough to hold back..."

Vance was stunned by how Renk's demeanor had changed so quickly. But he didn't have any time to waste. He quickly shackled Renk's wrists and ankles with the Gebler-issued bindings from their survival packs.

"Weird...I never saw the point of these shackles and it turns out we needed them after all," Vance spoke quietly.

"It was ta arrest insulated Lambs...that's what they told me in training," Finn chimed in, though was gritting his teeth in pain.

"In - in - ghuck...insolent Lambs.." Renk corrected.

"Renk, don't try to talk if it's so hard."

Vance felt Renk would be fine alone for a few moments while he went over to Finn.

"Are you alright?"

"Uh...ow...er...yeah. It's not so bad. But I guess I should bandage it up. Got some first aid stuff in my pack."

Vance nodded, and went to get it. He quickly prepared some disinfectant and gauze bandage.

"Okay, Finn...show me the wound."

"Well...I can do it myself. This is somethin' I'm good at, ya know."

"Just let me help. I'm not the best at this, but I'll do better with two arms than you will with just one."

Finn removed his hand from the wound, and Vance saw that it really was worse than Finn had let on. It seemed a relatively large chunk of the skin on Finn's forearm had been torn away.

"Why didn't you just tell me it was this bad?"

"I didn't want ta worry you, Vance. And really...it's not as bad as it looks...GAH! That stings!"

Vance continued to apply the antiseptic, ignoring Finn's cries. "Whatever. Just give me a break next time, okay? I'm not stupid and I can handle this sort of stuff too, you know."

"Yeah...I know ya can. Sorry Vance...I just..."

"Ah, never mind...anyway...It shouldn't take us long to get back," Vance said. "Twenty minutes, max."

Renk nodded solemnly. "Yeah..."

"We'll have to carry you outside, in the gear's arms. Sorry, Renk. I hope you understand," Vance replied.

"It's okay, kid. I know why."

Vance nodded. "Finn and I promise that we won't lose you."

"Nope! I won't lose you. Uh uh," Finn said. "We'll go real gentle so we won't!"

Renk was still quiet. Vance would have asked him what was wrong, it was obvious.

"You guys didn't have to come for me. I'm done for. This is the end," Renk eventually spoke, not even looking at them.

"Hey, no way, Renk! We'd never abandon you just 'cause this happened. And there's probably some way ta cure it!" Finn spoke.

Vance nodded. "That's true. We'll find a way. Now let's go. Helm and Stratski are waiting back at camp. Then we'll decide what to do from there."

"T - thanks...you can bear to look at me?"

"Renk...you're our friend...right? We can't just leave you like this. We've got to find a way to cure you, am I right?"

"I - guess so..."

"We'll find it. We will," Vance said.

* * *

Victor and Knute sat quietly for a long time, staring off into the horizon in the direction where Vance and Finn had gone off to find Renk. The two had built a roaring fire with kindling they'd found, and the atmosphere felt just as it had been many years before on their first day of independence on the open plain. It was only natural that Victor's mind would wander to a time when they'd been much younger.

Victor pulled off his glasses and quickly cleaned them with his shirt. When he put them back on, he looked over at his friend, who looked rather downtrodden.

"What's wrong?" Victor asked, knowing instinctively that Knute's mood had shifted from wistful pondering to sadness.

"Oh," Knute said. "Nothing."

Perhaps the others would accept Knute's answer for what it was. But Victor had known him far too long.

Knute had been with several random girls in his life, and aside from one particularly unpleasant exception, there wasn't one he hadn't developed at least some feelings for either before or after they had slept together. Knute was always the last to admit it, but Victor had been witness to his friend's mooning about over them every time. For the most part the attraction had waned over days or weeks, but none of the women had died prematurely, either.

"Finn said that Vehra didn't make it," Victor said. "You don't have to pretend you don't care, you know. Not around me."

"It's not that," Knute replied. Victor knew it was a lie, but decided it best not to press the issue.

"What are you thinking about, then?" Victor asked Knute quietly.

Knute paused, as if trying to think up a new story. He began, "I'm thinking about my dad..."

Victor sighed. "I see."

"I mean, it's not that I'm really upset he'd dead or anything...but..." Knute paused for a careful moment. He still stared into the distance, his eyes unfaltering. "Oh, I don't know...there's just so much happening all at once, I guess..."

"A lot's happened in just less than a month, huh?"

Knute nodded lightly. "I'll say. Who knew? Then again, I guess we did want to escape Solaris, didn't we?"

"I'd have preferred it with a lot less carnage, but…I guess that's how fate decided to step in."

"Yeah, fate. What a bitch," Knute said, and Victor stifled a laugh.

Knute leaned back on his arms. "I think if I'd known it was all going to work out like that in Nortune, I would have been happy with what I had in Solaris."

"You know…me too. But I guess we've been given no choice but accept this for what it is."

"Yeah," Knute said with a sigh. "I guess it's just made me step back and think of my life and how it's gone. I keep piecing all those little fragments of memory I have together, and trying to fill in the huge chunk I still can't remember. But there's one there's one thing I know I've always wanted for my life. Seeing Lolessa again reminded me of it. I want a home, a wife. Maybe kids. I envied Renk and his life, at times. I know that might seem weird. Have we ever discussed this, Vic? Because I don't have a memory where we did."

"Actually, I honestly don't think so. We were young enough to live in the moment and not worry about those things. But you did mention that you wanted to have kids with Lolessa when you got married. So I guess it's not too out there."

"Yeah. But now everything's all wrong. Destroyed. All that's left is this broken world. A world with no future. No happiness. And no light."

There had been one time in his early life when Knute had fallen into a deep funk and stayed there for several days. It had scared Victor when it happened, since it was completely opposite of the man that was normally so optimistic about everything. And something about his friend's demeanour now reminded him of that time. But so much had happened. Knute had lost his father, Lolessa, his mother's love and now Vehra. That would be enough to weigh on the best of people. It was likely the others wouldn't notice - Knute was incredibly good at hiding his feelings to the rest of the world, just as he was, but Victor would never be fooled. He had known him too long.

"Things aren't quite that dark. But…I do understand how you feel. My dreams are all gone, too. None of it seems to matter anymore. Or what does matter is impossible."

"So...you're still going to go back to Nortune to take that job?"

Victor hadn't thought about it. It had seemed so clear before all this had happened. But...

"Probably. Eventually. But I can't abandon Renk. He means too much to me. More than my own dad, for sure. But... I guess there will always come a time when you have to stop dreaming and get on with life. I still don't have any skills useful to the world here on the surface. That job my dad offered me is really my only chance of making it down here."

Knute sighed, almost as if he wasn't listening to him. Victor knew that it wasn't what his friend had wanted to hear, but despite everything, he just couldn't lie. Knute just needed time to work things out for himself, just as he had always done in the past. Victor knew he wasn't going to be around forever. As much as he wanted to be, he would probably eventually have to part ways with his best friend and go back to Nortune.

Victor decided to try and change the subject to put Knute's mind on something else. He laughed lightly, "It's strange when I think back on it - how innocent we were back then. We had that dream. We were going to change the world, overthrow Kaiser Sigmund, and lead Kislev into democracy. Or so Manarin kept telling us. Has anything more come to you yet?"

"Nothing solid. Bits and pieces. Voices, mostly. But I couldn't tell you who they are."

"Well, I guess a little bit of memory is still better than none."

"We could have done it, Vic. You and me... we could have made something of that city - of all of Kislev. It wasn't just because Manarin inspired us...we truly believed in the cause. Or at least I did. I remember that much."

"Hey, I believed in it, too. Don't misunderstand me."

"Yeah, I know."

"What happened was kinda different than what we planned, right?"

"I'll say. Considerably."

"Regrets?"

"Nah, not really. At least we were together, right?"

"Right."

Knute paused before replying. "For all the good it did, of course. Nortune's still a mess. And now with all this happening, who knows? It's probably even worse."

The two sat silently again, staring off into the distance.

Victor sighed again. What he could say that would put Knute more at ease? "I think that for the next little while, we can't really think too far ahead about anything. The world is in chaos, and we don't know where we fit in the whole picture yet. I'm sure there's a place for you somewhere, Knute. I know there is."

"Uh huh."

More silence.

"I'm sure those guys have found Renk and are on their way back. I've just got a feeling."

Knute nodded. "I know. I don't think Vance will ever give up looking for him. But...I don't know if I want to see Renk. He's...well, I don't know. Like something out of a nightmare, I guess. I guess thinking that makes me a horrible jerk."

"Nah. Not at all. I understand. But...remember... even if he's no longer the same Renk we knew once, he's still the Renk we knew once. If that makes any sense. I don't know anymore."

"It does."

"Good." Victor stretched. "Man, I'm still tired. Only got a couple hours of sleep. It's been a very long couple of days, and we're going to need our strength."

Victor looked over at his friend, who had his head resting on his knees. He could tell Knute was already asleep.

"Be joining you soon," Victor said, leaning back and closing his eyes.

* * *

A horrified scream tore through the darkness of the desert night. Finn awoke with a start, his heart beating quickly. What was going on? Who had screamed? The worst thing about it was that Finn recognized it, and it was coming from inside the house. He rose quickly, taking the revolver he still had from his service in Gebler, and went to investigate.

His father's voice was rising loudly above the screams of his mother, even though his words were indistinguishable. What was going on? Had a burglar broken into the house? No. This was plenty worse. Finn could tell.

His father's voice melted into a blood-tinged shriek...

The bedroom door was locked, but Finn kicked it down.

A mottled creature was hunched over his father's torn body, blood dripping from its fingers... That monster had killed him. Torn him to bits...

Dad... The dad who he had looked up to, the one who had taught him everything about business. The one who had been so proud with every accomplishment he had made...

But...wait...it...it was no monster... He knew it when it hopped off his father and stood before him. Despite the profound deformity, Finn knew those eyes...his mother's kind eyes.

"Oh...my GOD!" Finn shouted. "Dad, mom! What...why...?"

For a moment she stopped and looked at him with a pleading expression. She was frightened and in severe pain...She lunged for her son like a wild animal. Finn dropped his gun in shock, but was still able to grab her wrists. The feel of her mottled skin sent shivers down his back. The small woman had become so strong. She fought his grip, but fortunately he was still stronger.

"Why? I don't understand..." Finn's eyes were stinging with tears. She was still glaring at him, as if not realizing who he was. That was what hurt him the most.

"Ma, don't you recognize me...?"

She growled, nothing more than a low gurgle. Her struggle to get free became ever more desperate.

"No, ma...I'm not gonna let you go. I can't let you do this. Whatever's happened to ya, there's gotta be some way to stop it..."

"B-blood..." she murmured. "Need...b-blood..."

Finn hated to do it, but he shoved his mother into the wall. She looked slightly hurt, but still rose quickly.

"Ma...stay back... I don't wanna hurt you..."

She cocked her head and looked at him, confused. "F-Fi-Finn...y..."

Thinking she might be talking some sense again, he sighed in relief.

His mother looked around the room...at her eviscerated husband... Finn's face... her blood-covered hands. She looked horrified for a split second before she tore off through the window...

He watched after her and remembered the mother he had been so close to. The one who taught him how to cook and clean and keep the house spotless. The one who had always handled his questions so gently and honestly even when he hadn't been too bright, and been there to listen when he needed someone.

Finn knew he had to go after her. He picked up his revolver and turned to leave the room. But he couldn't. Someone else was standing there. It was another one...but this time it was even easier to know who it was.

"Vehra... Oh, no...not you too..."

"Grrraaaah..." she moaned. "F-F-Finnnnn...h-help...m-m...e..."

He cocked his head slightly. "Vehra, I don't know what's going on here. I don't...but... I wanna help..."

"GRAAAAA_H!"

Before he knew it, Vehra had also lunged for him. However, unlike his mother, Vehra was as strong as he was, and whatever had happened to make them both like this had made them much stronger. Vehra was able to throw him to the ground.

Finn had never been so frightened in his life. Would his life end at the hands of his own sister? What was happening here that changed the people he loved into monsters?

Vehra lunged, her sharp claws ready to tear into his flesh...but then there was a shot...and his sister slumped to the floor. He hadn't even realized he'd picked up his revolver and pulled the trigger.

"V-Vehra...I...I'm...oh...no..."

"G...g...rrrrrraaaaa..." Vehra moaned.

He jumped to her side. "Vehra, you still kicking? Oh, I'm so sorry I shot you! I have to do somethin'...somethin' ta help youse guys...but I don't even know what the hell's going on..."

Vehra's breath was shallow, and her eyes were slightly glazed over. But Finn held on to the hope he hadn't hurt her too badly.

"F-F-innnn...nnnn...you...did...h-help...me...don't...don't wa - wanna live like... this...t-thank...you..."

"Wait...Vehra...don't...don't die...just like..." _Just like dad_, he thought.

Vehra breathed in once sharply, wheezing...but that was her final breath.

Vehra had left him...the sister who had protected him, kept him from being picked on, laughed at him and with him, too. The one who always told it like it was, spoke her mind...

The tears flowed bitterly down his eyes. He had never expected to lose them... and certainly not like that! And where had his mother gone? She was out there.

There was another scream from outside the house. Despite all that had happened, he had to try and find his mother. Yes, she had done a horrible thing, but it was because whatever this was had driven her mad. Nobody loved his dad more than she did. There was no way she would have done it if she had truly meant to.

Finn left the revolver on the floor next to Vehra. He was too afraid he'd use it again. He didn't care what happened to him. He had lost almost everyone he loved, anyway.

His mother hadn't gone far. She was in the street, holding the cuff of a male Finn didn't know. There were other mutants like her around, causing equal amounts of havoc, but he only saw her.

"Mom! No, stop it!"

Finn saw that a city guard had a gun trained on his mother from across the street.

"Wait, no! Don't shoot her!"

BANG!

The man dropped from his mother's grip...and his mother also dropped.

It was all over. They were gone.

He was alone once again.

"We're almost back at the camp," Vance spoke, snapping Finn out of his memories. He was happy for the interruption.

"Good. But...then what?" Finn asked.

Vance continued flying the gear silently.

"No idea, right?"

"No," Vance replied.

"Well...we'll take it a day at a time, right?"

"Yeah. I guess that's all we can do. Was there anywhere you needed to go?"

Finn shrugged. He did have one suggestion, but he didn't want to impose.

"You do, right?" Vance asked. Finn realized he probably hadn't hidden it as well as he'd liked to.

"Dazil..."

"You'll be okay with that? Are you sure?" Vance asked.

Finn nodded. "I hafta be. I want to go back and see what's left. And I wanna give my family a proper burial. I don't know what happened with that."

Vance nodded. "Well, it's a better plan than I have. We'll head back to Dazil, then. I don't see the others objecting. We can be back in a day with this gear."

Finn nodded. Yes, he had to go back. That was the right thing to do.

* * *

The three arrived back at the camp and Vance and Finn tethered Renk to the gear with a strong binding cord. Renk had stopped being wild, and accepted the actions as necessary. Vance felt horrible that it had to be that way, but he suspected Renk would insist upon it himself if they didn't do it.

"So...what now, then?" Helm asked.

"Well..." Finn spoke. "I wanna go back to Dazil. I have some stuff I've gotta take care of there that I didn't before I left. Anyone not wanna go?"

"That's fine with me," Helm said.

"But...before we go, can we get a bit more sleep? I'm exhausted..." Stratski said.

"I'm for that," Helm chimed in.

"Yeah, me too," Finn said. "It can wait that long."

Vance nodded. "Okay. We'll leave when we're all awake again. I have to work on something, anyway."

The three others went to sleep, leaving Vance alone. He pulled out something he'd been working on, and tried to focus on it, now that they had daylight. But he was having a hard time concentrating and keeping his eyes open.

"The other three fell asleep awfully fast, didn't they? They _are_ exhausted ghGURk..."

Vance looked up to see Renk staring back at him, his gaunt, dark face horrible, but with those same soft eyes.

"Yeah. Asleep already. What about you?"

"I'm fine for a bit. I got a bit of sleep before you guys showed up. Not much, but it was enough."

Vance nodded.

"What are you working on?"

Vance looked at it. "Don't know yet. I'll have to see what it ends up being."

Renk seemed to smile. "Weird how all these years you were good at that sort of stuff, but never, ever used the skills. Solaris shoulda had you doing that sort of work. Not that you weren't a great gear pilot, but you're pretty talented with this stuff, too."

"Well...I think that's what they wanted me to do originally, but...things didn't work out."

Renk tipped his head. "Something happen?"

Vance didn't want to discuss it, but he found himself blurting it out. "Yeah. Something happened, alright."

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay. We've all got stuff in our past that we're ashamed of, kid. I sure do. Not stuff I want to talk about, either."

Vance nodded. "And how are you feeling, Renk?"

"'Bout as good as can be expected, I guess. It's not really painful anymore, like it was when it first happened. It's more of a dull ache all over. Still not pleasant, but...not that bad..."

"Well, it's good to know you're not in much pain anymore."

"Yeah...but...my mind is something different. That's...the worst part now, I think. The madness. The way...that I keep just wanting to lose control. It's a good thing you guys have me bound up. I don't trust myself not to hurt you."

"...I wish we didn't have to."

"Yeah...but that's the way it is. I'm doing my best to hold it together, but...it's only a matter of time until I lose it completely. I can tell."

Vance looked at his feet. Yes. It did happen so fast...

"You know..." Renk began again. "There's a voice whispering to me...it's sorta weird. It's telling me...'Come to the Soylent. You'll find peace at the Soylent.' And something tells me it's to the south."

Vance heard the name, recognized it as far more than the old prison in Etrenank where people were reprogrammed. Recognized it as something far worse.

"No, I can't let you go there. They'll kill you. There are other ways."

"But...something tells me...it's not exactly like the one in Solaris. Something tells me...this is a good Soylent. That I can be healed there. And if I can, then..."

"You won't be cured. You'll be killed. You're not going there."

"How do you know for sure that they'll kill me?"

"...I just know. Trust me on this, Renk. Please?"

Renk sighed, but it came out like a gurgled growl instead.

"I've never not trusted ya, kid. Okay, for another little while. But if it's the only choice, then let me go."

Vance didn't respond.

"Kid?"

"I'll never let you go, Renk. Out of the question. Sorry, but I can't tell you why."

Renk sighed again. "We'll see, then. Anyway...have you had a good night's sleep in a while?"

Vance shook his head. "I can't. I still can't sleep."

"I think you should try. You're not looking too hot. And we don't want to both be in bad shape, right?"

Vance nodded. "I - I'll try..."

"Good...now...could you leave me alone for a bit? Go get some sleep."

Vance nodded. "Okay."

But he knew he still would not be able to sleep. Not with Renk being as he was. It brought back too many bad memories.

* * *

Mist rose over the ground of the Plains of Kislev, its tranquil softness betraying the chaos over the world.

Finn awoke with a start, shaking away the thought that he'd had a nightmare he couldn't remember. Not remembering was likely a blessing.

The fire glowed in the centre of the circle they'd made around it, but Finn was still chilled deep inside himself. So...this WAS real. None of it had been a dream.

He felt the bandage on his forearm. The wound beneath still throbbed and sent a wave of pain throughout his body, but there were far worse things on his mind than that. He pulled his blanket tighter around himself, but it didn't help. The images were still there. No more point in trying to sleep. He rose and looked around the camp. The dying fire only provided so much light, but he could see Helm and Stratski sleeping on the opposite side. Renk's misshapen form was leaning back on the leg of the worker gear, probably asleep. But Finn didn't see Vance.

Vance was funny in that way. You'd expect him to be one place, but then he'd pop up somewhere else. But only recently, and it made Finn's head hurt. It was so hard to believe the egotistical jerk that Vance had been on Drive was so vastly different now. He was still a bit obsessed with his hair, but he wasn't as cruel and mean. Moody - but certainly not mean. He was even a bit sensitive, and much smarter than Finn had ever imagined. So vast a change, it almost seemed impossible. Of course, Finn had been told how his own behaviour changed when on it, so he was hardly surprised.

Regardless, Vance was not anywhere nearby. He never seemed to sleep with the rest of them.

_Well,_ Finn thought,_ maybe he's just shy or somethin', and doesn't like sleeping where people can watch him. Wouldn't surprise me._

Finn stood and looked around the camp. It was getting too dark to see very far, and the plains were probably about as scenic as the desert, anyway. Finn just wanted to leave and go home to Dazil. But he didn't want to wake the others if they were still tired. He'd just have to stay up alone for a while. That thought worried him. The last thing he wanted at that moment was to be alone.

"This thing's quite an antique," came the voice from behind the gear. Finn hadn't expected Vance to still be up. He'd had just as long a day, if not longer.

Vance lit up his small work lamp, and Finn saw that he was examining something on the gear. Why wasn't he asleep?

"You okay, Vance?"

"Good morning - night - whatever, to you too, Finn."

"Huh? Oh. Well, sorry. Didn't think you'd be up so soon."

"Can't sleep. On a roll. So I decided I'd look over this thing to see how well it's been kept up. Looks pretty good, though. The guys in Dazil knew what they were doing."

Vance stood, wiping off his hands. "Are the others up yet?"

Finn shook his head. "Nah. They still seem pretty tired. And...I can't sleep anymore."

"Yeah. I know that feeling."

Finn glanced at Vance, who looked over another part of the gear's leg absently, as if he was trying to put his mind on something else. He wasn't acting like himself. Then again, it was so hard for Finn to know exactly who Vance was these days, anyway.

"Are _you_ okay, Finn?" Vance asked, not even looking at him.

Finn looked at his arm. Of course it still hurt, but he didn't want to worry Vance too much.

"I'm okay. I'll be okay. It's not bad."

"Yeah...but...I mean...are you REALLY okay? Inside, I mean?"

Finn looked at his feet. How could he possibly answer when he was so jumbled up inside?

"Maybe. I don't know."

"Did you watch them?"

"Watch?" Finn asked.

"Did you see any of them...change?"

"Oh...well...no. But...I saw 'em after. An' that was bad enough."

Vance nodded. "Sure is. We saw Renk. Right there in front of us. If there's any consolation in it... be glad you didn't see that part."

Finn nodded. He sensed Vance's words came from far more than his experiences with Renk.

"So when are we going? Do you think those two have slept enough?" It's been about eight hours since we went to sleep," Vance asked.

"Dunno."

"Well, I guess it's not too bad if they sleep a bit longer. I'm not quite done looking over the gear yet. I just want to make sure it's in top shape before we head out in it."

Finn nodded. It was probably a good thing that Vance was around to check those things. He'd worked in a factory transforming old gears into newer models, but that was hardly the same thing as knowing how to look after them on his own. And seeing as this one was so old and he'd found it in the Ethos repair facility, chances were that something was wrong with it.

"Uh...what's this?" Vance asked, noticing a door close to the gear's legs.

Finn shrugged.

"I think I remember seeing something like this in one of my dad's old books. I think this is a carrier gear. Or it was before it was modified to be a worker gear."

"Carrier? You mean..."

"Yep, a jail transport. I read once that Solaris used to have a jail on the surface a couple centuries ago, but they abandoned it a long time ago. This gear must be from that time. My dad was into all that stuff - gear history and all that," Vance supplied. "He and Helm probably would have gotten along pretty well."

"So we won't have to transport Renk in the arms? That means we can go faster than we planned and be back in Dazil in about four hours."

"Four hours? By gear, it should only be about two hours..." Vance spoke.

"Not this gear. It's a snail compared ta the ones we had."

"Well, it's at least three hundred years old. I'm supposing it was state-of-the-art in its time. Four hours will be fine."

Finn heard noise back at the fire. It seemed that Stratski and Helm were finally waking up.

"Good. We can go soon."

"Morning..." Stratski said with a yawn while stumbling over to where Finn and Vance were standing.

"I guess we're all going to ride together in that thing, right? How are we going to transport Renk?"

"Oh, that won't be a problem. There's a small cell here in the leg."

Helm looked up. "Ahh...old jail transport, I see. Maybe a G5-84X...or maybe a C? Hard to tell. It's been modified quite a bit."

"Weird...just looks like a gear to me..." Stratski said. "It starts up, it moves, it stops. That's all I need to know."

"There's one problem, though," Finn spoke. "The cockpit...well...it's a little small."

"How small?" Stratski asked.

"Let me put it this way. When it was just Finn and I, I was squished. Now... MAYBE we could fit you in, Stratski. But Helm...you're tall."

Stratski didn't seem impressed. "I'm still not as short as you..." he muttered.

"Yeah, but Vance probably hasn't finished growing. You don't have an excuse," Helm spoke.

"Shut UP, Vic!" Stratski shouted and lightly shoved Helm, who laughed.

"Never mind. We'll make ourselves fit. It's only for a little while. Who's going to drive?"

"I'm not driving this antique," Stratski said.

"Most of the controls are in Lamb language. I'm weak in Lamb," Vance spoke.

"No translator?" Helm asked.

"From what I can tell, removed a long time ago. Besides, I'm a bit too tired to drive."

"But...didn't you just sleep?"

Vance paused. "Yeah. But...not really enough."

"Well, okay. I'll drive it," Helm spoke. "Since nobody else is offering. Besides...

I'm curious to know how this old thing runs."

* * *

Now that they were all together and with a plan, Knute felt a bit better about the entire situation. However, if he could go back and change things, there was no way he would have arranged the seating in the cockpit quite how it had been done. As Vance and Finn had stated, the cockpit was tiny, and the four of them just barely fit inside. He only hoped it wouldn't be a long ride.

"Remind me _not_ to do this again if I can help it..." Knute said, adjusting his legs as Finn sat atop them. "Ugh! Finn, why couldn't you have sat at the bottom?"

"What? And get squished by you and Helm? Forget it!"

"It's just that, well, you're a little larger than we are..."

"Aw, don't be such wussies," Finn said.

Knute pouted. "Renk must be having LOADS of fun in his own, special cockpit. I'm half tempted to go sit with him. It'd be far more comfortable."

"Oh, yeah. Gettin' a big CHUNK of your arm ripped off is really comfortable!" Finn said.

"Well...Aaah! Off my leg, Finn! I'm sure it'd be worth it rather than being squished in here. We could duke it out. I'd kick his ass."

"Hey," Vance said, "don't say that!"

"I was KIDDING, Vance. Geez...touchy!"

"Shut up, Stratski!"

"Quiet, guys! I'm trying to fly here, and this machine's not giving me much," Victor said. "It barely goes normal flying speed, much less battle speed."

For a moment everyone fell silent. Finn stretched out his injured arm for a moment, accidently hitting Knute in the face.

"Hey! Finn, you're messing up my hair, here...come on!" Knute said.

"Oh, your poor hair..."Victor chimed in.

"Is this guy inta himself, or what?" Finn exclaimed.

Knute shrugged. "Yep, I am. No point in denying it."

"Hey! I said shut up!" Vance snapped.

Knute tousled Vance's hair.

"Hey! Grow up, Knute..." he retorted.

"Don't tell me having your hair all disheveled doesn't bug you, Vance. Don't worry. I understand."

"It does bug me, but there are more important things to think about now..."

"Vance is right..." Victor spoke. "Like what we're going to do once we get back to Dazil."

Finn sighed. "Part of me doesn't wanna to go. But part of me knows I've gotta. Ya know?"

"So...your whole family...all of them...became like Renk?" Stratski asked.

"Mom and Vehra. Dad...well..." He was choking on the words. Knute felt bad for asking, but he admitted he has wanted to know more about what had happened.

"It's alright, Finn. You don't have to talk about it now. It was only yesterday. It must have been awful," Victor spoke.

Finn nodded.

Knute thought a moment of Vehra, despite himself. So she had also become like Renk, and through some circumstance Finn wasn't prepared to disclose, dead. He found his heart stirred at the news, though he couldn't understand why. It hadn't meant anything. It had only been one night. Right?

_But she was a really nice person. I felt a bit sorry for her. She was in such a rut. That's something I can sure understand. Especially now._

Knute turned away from Finn to see Vance's head droop down, chin resting on his chest.

"Say...look who's nodding off," Knute said, pointing at Vance. Knute tousled his hair again.

"Agh! Stop it!" Vance exclaimed, fully awake again.

"I guess it is a good thing you're not driving, then," Helm said. "This isn't an easy one, everything's in Lamb and you're nodding off."

"I wasn't nodding off!" Vance exclaimed.

"Whatever, whatever...we believe you," Stratski said.

"I don't need sleep. If it looks like I'm doing that again, just hit me."

"Okay," Stratski spoke with an impish tone.

"LIGHTLY! And don't touch my hair."

"Well, okay. Man, you really don't want to sleep. You sure you're okay?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I told you...I got enough sleep. It's just been a rough couple of days and I guess I'm still tired. So don't let me nod off like an idiot, okay?"

"Well...okay. If that's what ya really want," Finn said reluctantly.

Knute shrugged. Vance seemed to be his normal, prissy self. In a way, he was relieved. The other Vance, though nicer, was odd to him. Sure, he'd gotten a bit used to it, but it hadn't been the Vance he'd known.

Knute looked outside as the desert rose above the horizon. It wouldn't be long before they were back in Dazil.

He didn't know what would happen once they got there, but who knew anything about the future? As Victor had said, it was best not to worry about it, and just take it day by day. With the world as it was, it was all he really could do.

* * *

From a distance, Dazil didn't appear any different than the first time they'd stood there staring at it almost a month ago. But Finn knew how it changed. And he wasn't entirely sure he was ready to revisit it.

From the sky, Finn could see that a fire burned in the desert, south of the town. The smell now that they were on the ground was slightly noxious, and though he knew what was likely burning, he tried not to think about it.

He looked over and saw the others, also staring up at the town with apprehension. He regained a bit of strength from the fact he wasn't alone, and stepped up to the entrance.

"You gonna be okay, Finn?" Renk asked.

Finn let out a long sigh. "Yeah... I'll be okay."

With that, he stepped forward and into Dazil.

Instantly it was different. Definitely different.

Dazil, the town that had just a month ago been buzzing with activity, now might as well have been a ghost town. The only life present on the streets was a small patrol of guards. Otherwise...nothing. They entered cautiously, under the careful scrutiny of the guards. Two of them approached.

"He can't enter!" the larger of the guards barked, pointing at Renk.

"He'll have to be held in the jail if you won't leave!" the smaller guard stated.

"But we have him bound!" Vance said.

"Doesn't matter. His type is unpredictable. For the safety of the town, we have to keep him locked up."

"Well, then...okay. We're leavin'," Finn said, not wanting to be any trouble to Renk.

"No, no...Finn..." Renk interjected. "It's okay. They're right. And you wanna find out about your family. I'll be better off there, honest."

"You sure, Renk?" Finn asked.

"Yeah...it's...not like it matters anymore what happens to me."

Finn looked at his friend for a moment. "Thanks, Renk..."

Renk merely nodded as the larger guard took him forcefully by the arm.

"No! You can't take him! I won't let you!" Vance said, stepping in and trying to free his friend from the guard's grip.

"Vance!" Helm spoke firmly. "We have to let him go. It's best for everyone..."

"It's NOT best for Renk!" Vance exclaimed. "Nobody seems to care about how HE feels in this whole thing! He's not just someone to toss in jail and forget about!"

Vance grabbed one of the guards, who shoved him off easily. "Watch out, boy! Or you're gonna end up in there, too!"

"I don't care! You're NOT taking Renk away! You're NOT!"

"Vance, don't be stupid!" Stratski added.

Finn didn't know how to handle Vance's emotional outburst. He was certainly acting odd. Not how he acted on Drive, but certainly not like the real him, either.

"Vance!" Renk shouted, his voice serious. "Let them take me away! That is an order!"

Vance instantly stopped his rant. "An o - order...?"

"Yeah, an order. I'm still your superior officer, and when I command you to do something, you better bloody well do it."

"But...Renk...I...you..."

"I'll be fine. Now back off..."

Vance hung his head. "I'm...sorry..." he spoke weakly.

"Fine. Now...get some rest and don't worry about me."

Vance nodded, then turned to one of the guards. "Please...treat him well. He didn't want this to happen, and..."

"None of 'em did," the smaller guard said. "We'll treat him well until we all decide what to do or someone finds a way to help 'em."

Vance nodded again and allowed the guards to lead Renk away. Finn sighed in relief. That had ended relatively painlessly. He only hoped that after all this, they would really be able to do something to help Renk out.

Finn glanced over his shoulder to look at Vance, who, despite his earlier outburst, now looked completely drained. But the look on his face could not be questioned. His eyes weren't leaving Renk as they led him away.

"He'll be okay," Finn whispered softly to his young colleague, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Vance nodded, then took a step forward. As he did so, his knees buckled under him and he fell to the ground. Finn rushed to help him up, filling with a deep worry. He thought he noticed Vance wasn't walking very steadily, but he'd been far too worried about coming home to really give it further thought.

Helm and Stratski also went to Vance's side.

"I - Is it...sunstroke?" Stratski asked.

Finn felt Vance's face. "No. It doesn't feel right."

"Then...what's..." Stratski asked.

"Vance!" Finn shouted, slapping the young man on the cheeks.

"It's like he's having a Drive crash..." Helm spoke.

"I - Impossible," Stratski spoke. "None of us have had access to Drive since we ditched our gears...right?"

Another town guard approached. "The doctor isn't far from here, and he wasn't affected by the plague."

Finn nodded. "I know where he is. We'll take Vance there right away." He swept his young colleague into his arms and rushed off.

* * *

Only a few minutes passed before Dr. Strop emerged from his office. Finn had known the old doctor for many years. Aside from being the only doctor in town, he had also been a friend of Finn's mother - they had grown up together in neighboring houses. When they had first met up again after Finn's absence, he hadn't instantly remembered that detail until he was reminded.

"Finny," he spoke frankly. "When was the last time your friend in there slept?"

"Slept?" Finn asked. He honestly didn't notice. "Helm...youse guys would know better than me."

The other two shook their heads.

"I know he hasn't gotten enough sleep, but I thought Renk was looking out for him...until..." Helm replied. "I - uh...I guess we sort of neglected to think of it..."

"Well, the poor boy's exhausted. He'll be asleep for a while. A sleep so deep that he's probably going to lose a day or two. Don't worry. It's good for 'im."

"That's a relief. I thought it'd be something tons worse."

"You're lucky it's not. I can tell the boy's body's been ravaged recently, though, by something. But it seems that he's recovering from whatever that was. And this sleep will do him a world of good. Fortunately, it's not this plague."

"Yeah..." Finn spoke, his voice trailing off into his thoughts.

"Finny...I'm sorry about your family. And so soon after you'd finally come home."

"Yeah. Thanks..."

"I want to look after that arm for you and see what I can do. Alone. Your other friends can wait outside. The streets are safe again, so there's no danger. I'll look after your friend for you, as well. He'll be safe in here."

Helm and Stratski nodded and left, catching the hint.

Finn sat down in the doctor's plush chair that was still a bit too small for him. Dr. Strop sat across from him in his own chair and slowly removed Finn's bandages.

"Finny...I'm sorry," the doctor spoke, not daring to look at anything other than the wound.

"What for?" Finn asked, confused.

"That horrible night...so much happened. I holed myself up in my office, like a coward. I didn't rush out to help people, like a doctor should have. I - I've just... never seen such violence before...I didn't..."

"It was bad. I hid, too. And I have seen that sorta thing. It's...how do ya even begin to make sense of somethin' like that?"

"Yes, but I'm a doctor. I should be brave in the face of people being hurt and injured. Instead, I didn't live up to my duty...wow, quite the chunk's been taken out of you. Does it hurt much?"

Finn thought about it honestly. It had eased up a little. "Not too bad..."

"Hmm... Still, I should disinfect it again. You just never know..."

Finn nodded.

The doctor continued with his earlier topic. "I let the entire town down. If I'd been there, I might have saved someone's life. And that would have made it all worth it. Even if I'd been killed."

"Don't be silly, Dr. Strop. Then you wouldn'ta been here to help Vance out."

"True enough. But...my regret runs even deeper than that."

"What happened?"

"I tried to make them wait. I tried to give them all decent burials. But the ones who did it aren't from Dazil. They didn't understand...they didn't listen to me. And they did have a point. I had no idea if the plague was contagious or not. I've never seen anything like it, so I couldn't know. I still don't."

"What're you telling me?" Finn was still confused.

"Your family, the mutants and those who were killed by them...they gathered them up and quickly burned them in the desert, and buried the ashes deep in the sand. Without dignity. Nameless."

"Nameless?" Finn said, that word striking a chord in him. he hadn't remembered before Dr. Strop had mentioned it. In Dazil, if someone was buried nameless, their souls were forever lost. Even the unknown men who were found in the desert, their lives lost, were then given a name and burned peacefully with the marker so their souls could rest.

"I rushed to get markers for all the dead, but they didn't give me time to name everyone. They'd already gathered everyone up before I even came out of hiding. And there were just so many dead..."

"Mom? Dad? Vehra?"

Dr. Strop shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Finny. So sorry..."

They had all died so horribly, and now... nameless...

"I shoulda stayed and named 'em myself. But...I didn't know what to do. And...I didn't remember the nameless thing. I'm sorry... "

"The fault was mine. I pleaded for more time, but it wasn't granted. They wanted to burn them quickly, in case there was a virus. That was the way it was done where some of the guards were from. I can't fault them. They aren't from Dazil, and don't see..."

_Mom...Dad...Vehra..._

Everyone was gone. Or lost. What if Sera was also dead and nameless? He would never see any of them again.

"So you see...it's my fault that your family now wanders in eternity. It's my fault that you'll never see them again in death."

"Aw...Dr. Strop...nah. That's not how it is at all. Like I said, it shoulda been me. But I couldn't think of what to do either. I left and abandoned them. And now..."

"I guess this is just going to turn into one big pity party then, huh? Well...maybe we should stop and look at ourselves. I guess we're human, aren't we? We've all got our faults, right? And I guess we can't go back in time and fix things."

Finn thought about it. Dr. Strop was right. Of course, it didn't make it any easier. He worried about Sera even more as his mind turned to thoughts of his family. Had it only been three weeks ago since he and Vehra had been standing on the roof under a starlit sky, discussing the future? Had it only been that long since he'd held Sera in his arms and kissed her? So much had happened so quickly. A sharp brain like Helm's could probably handle all this change, but Finn didn't know how. But he had to try. And hope.

"The bite will heal over time. But I can't guarantee it's going to look pretty. It's probably going to scar up pretty bad."

"Dr. Strop...I - I'll...I'll be okay."

"Finny...please start calling me Marcel. You're a grown man now, and it's about time. I remember when you were just a lad. But now you're a man...and a great one. I can tell. I'm so glad you're back in Dazil. Despite what happened here."

"Thanks...Dr. Strop."

"Finny..."

"Uh...Marcel?"

The old doctor nodded. "Actually, that does sound a little weird coming out of you, but...it's time." The doctor stood. "I suppose I should check on your friend one more time. He'll be comfortable here, and I'll make sure of that. I'll transfer him to a bed, and he'll sleep like a baby until his body's ready to wake up again. From there...you're all going to have to make sure he's taking proper care of himself."

Finn nodded. "I'll do it myself. My other friends won't be much help after Renk's gone."

"I trust you will. But...you'll be fine, right?"

Finn sighed. "Yeah, I will."

"Good. But...what are you going to do from here? Are you going to stay in Dazil?"

"I'm going home first. I have some things I hafta do there. But...after that, I think I'm going to go back and travel with my friends. Not sure where we're going yet, though. I guess we're not going anywhere until Vance wakes up, though, huh?"

"I imagine not." Dr. Strop looked toward the examining room. "Well, I best get on with checking on him, and you on with what you have to do."

"Yeah...I guess so..."

"Then hopefully I'll see you, Finn. You're always free to drop by."

* * *

_Nameless... Lost..._

Finn wandered around the small home that he'd only found again a little less than a month before. In that month, he had been showered with so much love. It might as well have been a dream.

It would have been less painful if he'd never seen them again. That way, he wouldn't know the looks on their faces as they died. But he also knew that he would never go back and change that. He was so happy that he'd had a chance to let them know he was alive. They were a great family, and they deserved as much.

He opened a small door in the corner of the house. This was an old storeroom that they'd never used for anything but now it would serve as a special place for the ceremony.

"I think you liked this, Vehra. I hope this is it. It's so hard ta know. It's been so long since I been here."

He set a small trinket on a table, next to two other items he'd personally picked of his family's.

"Laid out in a row..." Finn whispered to himself. "Ven Broyer, Edda Broyer, Vehra Broyer..." He placed the small markers atop the items, their names written neatly on them.

This is what he had decided to do for his family. What he supposed were his family's most treasured possession laid out in a row, with their names drawn onto a separate piece of parchment paper and left for the lost souls to find and keep in their travels. It wasn't quite the same as naming someone who had died, but it was the best Finn could do for them.

"I'm sorry, youse guys..." he spoke softly. "I shoulda stayed and named you proper. I don't know why I ran off, anyway. Okay, sorry. That's a lie. I do know why I did it. I didn't remember about naming until Dr. Strop mentioned it. Solaris took that stuff out of my brain, and I just forgot! Otherwise I woulda stayed and named ya. Honest, I woulda. And... I ran off too because... well... my friends mean a lot to me. An' there was a chance they were still alive. I had ta know. Still...that's no excuse for abandoning youse guys."

He waited to hear his father use some cutting, but true retort. Something like, _"Finn, you knucklehead! Hell yeah you had to go to your friends! They mean so much to ya!"_ But he only heard it in his mind.

"You're right, dad. I know you'd say something like that. I know. But...I still feel really bad...I guess there's no way to go back and change what happened, huh? Anyway, I suppose it is good I went because I helped find Renk, and Renk needs me just as much."

_"That's right. You're a good boy, Finny..."_ he imagined his mom saying. His mother had always been so encouraging. Of course, he knew he was imagining it.

"Thanks, ma. It really does mean a lot. I know you woulda said that."

_"Of course she would. Finn, we died. Your friends were alive, and we all want you to go on with your life."_

"Thanks, Vehra. I know that, too."

Finn reached down into his scripture book and pulled out a piece of paper. He hadn't wanted it to get crunched, so he kept it there. A drawing of a pink-haired woman had been scrolled onto it with a big heart and caption that read "I love Sera forever". He'd stayed up all evening to draw it. He didn't think it was a really good rendition of Sera, but his heart had truly been in it and that was what mattered. He placed it in front of the other items and then placed another piece of parchment atop it.

"Sorry, Sera...I'm not quite sure I spelled your real name right. And...my writing in Solarian is sorta bad. I did my best. I guess it'll work just as good."

Of course, he hoped he was being premature with that. But just in case Sera was gone, she'd know that he would always love her.

Finn tried to wipe his eyes, but it was pointless. There was just no way he could keep them dry anymore. He knelt before the small table and merely wept.

* * *

Two days had passed since they had arrived back in Dazil. Knute and Victor had been helping Finn pack up some of the possessions of the Broyer family so they could go into storage until he could decide what he wanted to do with it. The rest of the time was spent checking on Vance, who was still fast asleep, and visiting Renk in the jail. The latter task grew more and more bleak as it became clear their Sergeant's condition was deteriorating rapidly. But despite the grim nature of the visits, Knute had left one task undone, insisting on doing it himself. He had been avoiding it. Despite the fact they had cleaned the mess in Ven and Edda's bedroom so Finn wouldn't need to, Knute still felt this part would be far worse.

_I should have asked Vic to do this for me, but I don't want him to worry about me. Besides… I feel as if it's something I should be doing. I owe her that much._

He sighed, standing before the door to Vehra's bedroom. No point in putting it off.

Pushing it open, Knute was assaulted by the strong smell of cleaner. Everything was spotless. The clothing, bedding and common items had been removed from the room. Finn must have gotten to it first.

_Aw, Finn…you should have just left it to us. But I guess you can't see a mess without having a compulsion to clean it. _Knute smiled lightly. _I bet she would have died in a bedroom this spotless. It's not that she was a slob, but from what this place looked like before, she was hardly anal about cleaning. Not like Finn in the least._

Knute sighed_. I kinda wish I'd stayed in Dazil instead of going to Nortune, for however long it would have lasted. You were really fun and interesting. I would have loved to get to know you better. Who knows? Maybe we'd have found out we could have more._

_Maybe I could have saved you. Just put you in the jail with Renk and the others until they figured out what's going on and if there's a cure. Then again, maybe you'd have just torn me apart in my sleep. Like Finn's dad. And then I wouldn't even be here at all._

_I wonder if that might have been worth it..._

_Nah, it would have sucked. That's crazy talk._

Knute went over to Vehra's shelf of trophies and brought down the piece of his old gear, which had become a centerpiece to her collection.

_Hey, Swordknight, old girl. This is the only piece I know of that's left of you. I see Vehra put you in the middle of everything. You used to be at the far end. She must have upped your rank because of who you used to belong to._ He pet the piece like others would pet a dog. _ I miss you. I miss piloting you. I miss…being truly good at something._

_Damn it. I'm being stupid._

He put the piece back in on the shelf and looked around the room.

_All the regular stuff has already been taken care of. Bed sheets – probably taken off and washed by Finn. Clothes, same. All that's left is her mementos – the things that made her Vehra. The stuff Finn probably wants to keep. I guess I'll just pack up everything._

He grabbed the box he had brought to pack some of Vehra's things in. He wrapped and packed each piece of her collection, keeping all of it together. It was probably junk to most people, but it had been special to Finn's sister. Therefore, it would be put in storage with everything else.

The piece of Swordknight remained. Knute left it in place. He would pack it away when he was finished everything else.

He stood before her desk, which hadn't been too cluttered (or had been neatened by Finn) and decided that rather than sort through the few papers that were there, he would just scoop them all up and into the box. As he did so, a piece of note paper fell from the pile and onto the floor by his feet. Knute bent down to pick it up and put it back with the other things when he realized it was a letter. Addressed to him.

_Dear Knute,_

_Things are getting back to normal now around here. Finn's fitting right back in, and selling up a storm, which makes my parents happier than a flea in sand. He misses you guys though, and talks about you all the time. Sounds like you guys all went through a lot together from the stories he tells us._

_You must be settled into Nortune now. Are things going well? I hope so. Or... maybe I don't. Geez, I don't know anymore. Forget it..._

_I figured...because you were a friend of my brother, that you might be a good guy to get to know. But...the more I think about it, the more I curse myself for deciding that. Because...now my feelings are all a mess and I don't know how I let myself get to this point. I don't know why it was you. But somehow I knew. No, I'm not a virgin, but no, never have I given up myself to someone quite that quickly before. There was something about you, Knute, that drew me to you. The more I thought about it, the less it mattered that you were short and sort of awkward. And no longer here. I just wanted to pick up and head to Nortune. Not just to leave this dust ball, which is motivation enough on its own, but just to find you. This must sound so stupid and corny right now. Geez, I'm making myself sick writing it, but I just had to. _

_Look, I know it was just one night. And we don't even really know each other, but...Knute, I find I have much stronger feelings for you than I thought I could. I must sound like some crazy-ass teenager chick. Sorry. I know it's dumb, but...it's how I feel._

_If things don't work out in Nortune, please come back to Dazil. I want to see you again. Maybe we can make this work. I'd like to give it a try. Besides, I have something I want to tell you in person. I can't tell you through this letter. It's just not right. So at least come by and say 'hi', alright?_

_Until we meet again,  
Vehra_

Knute stared at the letter for a few moments, absorbing what Finn's sister had written to him. He read it a second time, much slower, analyzing every word.

_What…what did you want to tell me?_

He tucked the letter into his pocket, hoping that putting it out of his sight would keep him from thinking of the possibilities. It didn't help.

The piece of Swordknight was one of the only things that remained. He pulled it off the shelf and held it carefully as he slumped back onto the bed. For some odd reason, it comforted him to have it.

He had underestimated how much it would hurt to be in that room again. Like Vehra had said, it had only been one night. One amazing, mind-blowing night, but still…just one.

Now being in there was even worse.

What had she wanted to tell him? He would never find out. That was the worst thing of all.

"What's that?" Victor asked. He was standing in the doorway.

When had his friend come in? How long had he been standing there, watching him?

_Damn… force yourself back into looking happy._

He assumed Victor meant the metal contraption next to him on the bed. Knute smiled, picking it up and and holding it before him.

"A trophy. Some of the scavengers liked to keep trophies from especially profitable finds. She was quite proud of herself for this one."

"It…almost looks like part of Swordknight."

"It_ is_ a part of Swordknight," Knute said with a smile. "It makes me feel all nostalgic. I miss that gear so much. Do you think Vehra'd mind if I decided to keep this?"

"I don't think she's going to come back and object."

"Hmm…I guess not. But it's not like Swordknight really belonged to me, either."

"Just keep it, Knute. You know you want to."

"Heh. Yeah. I do." He admired it again. "Heh. The others are going to be jealous. They didn't get to keep a part of their babies. And here I've got one of mine. It is a little heavy, though. I hope it doesn't weigh us down too much."

Victor shrugged. "Who knows where we're even going from here?"

"True enough. So how's Finn making out downstairs?"

"I was just going to finish off in the kitchen and then go down to see. Want to come?"

"I need to take a bit of a break, so yeah. I'll go see. I think I'll help him out for a while. When you're done with the kitchen, come on down, too. I don't know how Finn's making out down there."

_I need to take a huge break. I'd actually prefer to never come in here again._

* * *

_"Finny! Don't stack 'em boxes too high, now,"_ came the sharp but caring voice.

Finn stared at the boxes piled neatly atop one another. Fortunately, nobody had looted the store while he'd been gone. The guard that had posted himself at the door had been diligent about it, and most people in town were afraid to leave their homes, anyway. Not that it would have mattered. He was the last of the Broyer family, and this was the remainder of their legacy. He didn't need it anymore. Best to give it away to people who needed it far more than he did.

Finn silently packed away the inventory from the store, while Helm and Stratski had offered to pack up the personal possessions of his family and have them locked them in a secret storeroom that would hopefully remain unscathed until he was settled into a new home. If that ever happened. He also kept a small amount of stock from the store - a good year's worth of valuables and money, but the rest of it was going to help the town. It was all he could really do for anyone.

"That's the last of it..." Finn whispered to himself. "And no, dad...I didn't stack 'em too high. Now how am I gonna give this out?"

"Hey, Finn..." Stratski said softly. Finn had heard someone coming, so didn't jump.

"Hey, how's it coming upstairs?" he asked.

"I'm almost done with Vehra's room and Vic's just finishing off the kitchen. Looks like you're pretty much done here."

Finn nodded. "Pretty much. I was just tryin' ta think of a way ta give the stuff from the store out."

Stratski looked to the ground, and Finn sensed something was bothering him, though he couldn't think of what it could be.

"You okay, Stratski?" he asked. He figured it couldn't hurt.

"Oh, me? Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just thinking about what you can do with all this stuff."

"Yeah. I mean, I could just give it away, but mom 'n dad did put money into it, so I feel like I should get at least a little bit for it all. But the people of Dazil are suffering and it would be kinda mean to make 'em pay the price they would've before. And that's if I can even get people to come outside again. A lot of 'em all all still really scared."

"Hmm...well...how about a one G sale? Everything, absolutely everything, is just one measly G. That's as good as giving it away for free, and you're still getting something for it. And believe me, it'll get the people out of their homes and liven this place up again, even if just for a bit."

"You sure that'll work?"

"Were you ever in Etrenank during any big sale? People are crazy, I tell you. You should know how it is, being from this background, really. Your family never had a sale?"

Finn thought back to a time when his parents had a huge sale and it how busy it had been. Yeah, maybe the plan would work.

"You and Helm are gonna help, right?"

Stratski nodded. "Nothing else to do around here, really."

Finn grabbed Stratski in a tight embrace. "Thanks...I owe youse guys so much!"

"Ow...er...Finn...you can thank me by...letting go of me..."

Finn realized what he was doing and released Stratski. "Uh...sorry."

Stratski coughed in response.

"By the way...have you guys been to see Vance and Renk today? I've gotta go later, but I've been kinda busy up to now today."

"Yeah. Vance is still sleeping. And Renk...well..."

"Not doin' so hot?"

"He growled at Vic and I and told us to go away. But...then he started to go on about going to the Soylent. You know...like the Soylent prison back in Solaris."

"He must be cracked. The Soylent's gone now, isn't it?"

"Maybe this is a different Soylent? We know sometimes Solaris had places built here on the surface. Maybe a Soylent facility, too."

"Ida know..."

"What are we talking about?" Helm asked as he walked downstairs.

"Renk," Stratski spoke.

"Oh," Helm stated, then became very quiet.

"Any ideas, Helm?" Finn asked.

"Well...yeah. I gave it a bit of thought. But...I don't really like my conclusions much."

"You're thinking that if the place still exists, that we should take him there. Right?" Stratski spoke.

Helm nodded. "Look, even if this is the same as Solaris' Soylent... Renk wants to go. He thinks it will give him...I don't know...SOME sort of salvation. Freedom from his pain. I don't like to think of what that means, but...as it stands, it's only a matter of time before we lose him completely, anyway. He knows it, too. And for all we know, that could be far worse. For him and us. So no, I don't like it at all. But I don't see as we have much choice. What do you guys think?"

Finn remained silent, but Stratski spoke, "You're probably right, Vic. But...if we do it, we should wait until Vance wakes up so he can say goodbye. You know how those two are."

Finn nodded. Yeah, Helm and Stratski were right, after all. This was what was best for Renk. What sort of life would he have as he was? Finn knew how dangerous it could be. Renk would never want to hurt people he cared about, but like he was...

Finn looked down at his bandaged arm. _I know ya didn't mean it, Renk..._

Yes, death was probably less painful than allowing Renk to turn more violent. And...if somehow it turned out that it was true and the Soylent could truly heal Renk, then it would be worth it.

"Yeah, youse guys are right. Vance should be wakin' up any time now, Marcel told me last night. As soon as we have the sale and Vance is awake, we'll take Renk to the Soylent thing. It's what's best."

Helm and Stratski nodded.

"After that's all done... I guess there's nothin' left here in Dazil for me, anyway. Maybe if the world ever goes back to normal, I'll come back. But not now."

"Same with us," Helm said. "There's no point in me going back to Nortune just yet. I'll wait until the world is back on its feet. Right now..." he looked at Stratski. "I just want to be with you guys and help you all see this through."

"Really?" Stratski said, his tone relieved. "That's great to hear, Vic."

Helm nodded. "I don't know what's ahead, but I'm going to take a risk on this one. My dad said the offer would stand for a while. So...there's no real hurry. Heh...I'm still young. I've got lots of time. I hope."

"Yep, sure do, Vic."

Finn sat down on a wooden crate. "Good youse guys are so sure. I feel bad leaving, but I know I hafta."

"Yeah. And just think, Finn... It gives you a chance to look for Seraphita. I'm sure she's fine and probably waiting for you somewhere. You would never find her just sitting around here moping in Dazil," Stratski said.

"Yep, that's true," Helm agreed.

"Yeah, youse guys are right, I guess. Well, I hope you are. About Sera being okay an' all."

"You'll never know until you seek her out, right? So come with us."

"Yeah...but...come where?"

Stratski and Helm fell silent. They didn't know what was next, either.

_Never mind,_ Finn thought. _I'm just gonna keep looking for Sera..._

_Sera...please be out there..._

* * *

_Voices...urgh...so loud..._

"He's wakin' up, youse guys..."

"It's about time!"

"That's a good thing. I hope he's alright now."

Vance heard their buzzing in his ears, but still didn't have the ability to move. Yes, this felt exactly like reviving from a Drive crash, even though it couldn't possibly be one. His head spun, even though he'd opened his eyes. It would take a few moments to revive and focus again.

"Dizzy..." he muttered without even realizing he'd said it aloud.

"Ya okay, Vance?" Finn asked.

"I'll be fine...just...be quiet for a minute and let the room stop spinning, okay?"

The others seemed to back off, and that was a good thing. He would be fine, after all. And he hated people fussing.

Eventually Vance was able to sit up and look around.

"Where am I?" he asked. He didn't recognize this place.

"We're in Dazil, still. This is the doctor's office. You've been sleepin' a long time."

"How long?" he asked Finn.

"Two days now."

Two days? Even with the worst Drive crash he'd ever had, it had only been a day at the most. But...he admitted that he felt refreshed. A bit stiff from sleeping so long, but not that overall heavy, tired feeling he'd gotten so used to. He shook out his arms, which were a bit numb.

"So you're feeling okay, Vance?" Finn asked.

"Yeah...fine now. I guess I was just a little tired."

"A LITTLE? Sheesh..." Stratski scoffed.

"Dr. Strop said you were exhausted. Don't do that again, okay? We'll remind ya ta sleep if ya want."

"Yes, we will. Is there some reason why you don't want to sleep?" Helm asked.

_A reason? Of course there's a reason. But it's not your business._

_Sleep...the only one I trust to wake me up before the nightmares begin is..._

"How's Renk?" Vance asked.

The others fell silent.

"What? What's going on?"

"Well...it's a good think you're awake now," Helm said, stepping forward.

Vance's heart began to beat fast. "Is he okay?"

"Well...he's getting worse. And...well..." Helm sighed.

Stratski stepped in. "He keeps talking about this place called the Soylent where he'll find salvation. We don't know if it's the same one like in Solaris, but he seems convinced this place can help him. So we were going to take him there. But we didn't want to do it until you were awake again. Because...well... if it means that Renk's gonna die, we wanted you to be able to say goodbye..."

As Stratski spoke, Vance's heart raced. The Soylent...

"We aren't taking him. I refuse to take him," he said.

"But...if this place can find him salvation, then..."

"WE AREN'T TAKING HIM!" _I will never let anyone go to the Soylent...never..._

"But, Vance..."

"NO! We are not taking him! I have my reasons, and I already TOLD Renk we're not going to take him! Nobody I care about is going to ever go there!"

The room was silent again.

Finn spoke, "Y'know...maybe we should all go visit him. I haven't gone today yet and I'm sure Renk would like ta know you're okay now, Vance."

Vance looked at his feet. "Sure. I think I should...and...I'm a lot better now."

"But...just so you know...he's a bit different from when you last saw him," Helm spoke.

A brief vision from the past flashed in Vance's mind. He quickly turned it off and tried not to think of it.

"I'll be okay. He's still Renk...no matter what happens. You guys have to think that, too."

* * *

The few other mutants that had been captured and jailed whimpered and growled as Vance and the others walked by their cells. The late day sunlight beamed into the jail, providing the only light. At the far end of the hall, a single lamp burned on the sill of a boarded window across from the last cell. That was their destination.

Vance peered inside, expecting the worst. Renk was curled up in a corner, hidden in shadow. He'd likely heard them coming, for he was awake and peering at them with piercing blue eyes that somehow glowed. His body was even more misshapen now, and he stood on all fours like an animal.

He emitted a low growl and his glance didn't even seem human anymore. He was a wild animal, ready to tear them all apart if they came too close. And if there hadn't been bars between them, then things would have become dangerous.

"Um...hello, Renk. I'm awake...and feeling much better," Vance spoke cautiously.

Renk's expression did not change. The growling grew louder.

"Um...Renk...er..."

"Good ta see ya, Renk," Finn stepped in. "I know it's late. Sorry I missed comin' ta see ya earlier today. But yeah...look. Vance is awake and all better."

The growling stopped, and Renk was silent.

"Y - you -" Renk said weakly. "You're awake. Thank - thank God..."

Renk tried to make himself even smaller in the corner of his cell.

"Vance...please...take me to the Soylent...please..."

"I can't do that, Renk."

"Damn you..." Renk said lowly. "Take me to the Soylent. That's...that's an order..."

"Sorry, Renk. I'm not doing it."

Renk jumped suddenly, making them all start.

"DAMN YOU! TAKE ME!"

"We...we were gonna...then Vance..." Finn spoke numbly.

"Yes, that's true. I refuse to do it. And I refuse to let any of you do it," Vance spoke calmly.

"Don't you see it's the only chance I have to end my pain and give me salvation!"

"No. It's not going to do any of that. You'll thank me for this, Renk."

Vance turned away from him.

"Please, Vance...please..?"

Vance looked at the others, completely ignoring Renk's pathetic pleas.

"He's stubborn. I don't know what to say to change his mind. I already told him I wasn't taking him on the first night."

Finn spoke up, "I know how you feel about it, Vance. But you've gotta face it. What kinda life is Renk gonna have like this? At least if he goes to Soylent, we can do something for him."

"Yeah, get him brutally killed! I'm not taking him there, okay! So just stop even thinking about it." Vance stared back in Renk's direction for a second, trying to decide if he should finally explain more about himself. He'd kept it hidden for so long, and the idea of speaking about it frightened him a little. But he knew that this was the time. This might be what it would take to convince them. Never mind if it would make him look weak. This was for Renk's own good.

"I have to tell you guys a story. Maybe that will make you listen to me. Anyway... they thought they brainwashed me when they brought me and my family to Solaris. Like they brainwashed everyone else. Doesn't work on everyone, though. Not on me. I knew if I told them otherwise, they'd probably kill me. So I kept my mouth shut and just went on with my life. They gave me a job working with computers, and me, being a goofy kid, thought I'd try to find some way to escape Solaris with my family. I learned how to hack into their computer system. One day I was looking for a way to get out of Solaris when I stumbled by top secret information on the Soylent System. I read things I'd never imagined were possible. Exactly what the Soylent System is - its purpose...everything. It was far more than a jail and reprogramming center. It was even far more than an execution facility. It was...well...it was torture. You know, they didn't just kill the demi-humans and those sent there. They experimented on them and even turned them into what Renk and the others are now. Wels...they're called Wels. And...when they were done with their experiments, they needed to do something with the waste and useless specimens. That was the Soylent's main function. It was a recycling facility. Let me just say...that ever since, I haven't been able to eat that 'mystery meat' in a can..." Vance saw the others wince a bit. "Anyway... when I discovered this information, Solaris detected the security breach and led it back to me. Do you know what they did to me as punishment for hacking into their computer system? They forced me to watch -" Vance choked on the words for a moment, took a deep breath, then continued. "They forced me to watch as they turned my whole family into Wels. Dad...mom...my baby sister... I watched them totter around like helpless animals and then was made to watch as they discarded them in the Soylent like livestock. They forced me to watch the whole process. You don't want me to explain it. It was horrifying. Then they sent me for re-programming. It didn't work on me again. They assigned me to the military, and I was forbidden from touching vital computers again...supposedly they programmed me that way. But they didn't have to worry. That time fear kept me in line. But the nightmares still haven't gone away..."

"Whoa..." Finn spoke, seemingly overwhelmed by the whole thing. "I - never knew...I'm sorry, Vance."

"Hmph! Never mind. It's okay. I don't like to think about it."

So there it was. Everything was all before them... and not one them was laughing or pointing blame. Not one voiced that they thought he was weak or stupid. In fact, they seemed to be saddened by it. They actually seemed to care. And that was far better than he could ever have hoped. What good friends these guys had become. He looked at them as merely colleagues before, but their reaction had changed everything. Maybe this thing really had brought them all together. Strange that it took something so dire.

"If it's as bad as you say, we can't send Renk there. You're right," Helm said. "Maybe - maybe there's another place that can help him..."

"Well...we don't know about a place like that. So let's look for one," Stratski said. "After all, we're not really doing anything else at the moment, are we, guys?"

"There is no place like that...there's...only...the Soylent...it's the only way..." Renk chanted.

Helm stepped forward. "Renk, give us just two more days. We'll find something. And if we don't, well, then..."

"We'll FIND a way!" Vance interrupted.

Helm shrugged. "Okay. We will, then."

* * *

Two days...how quickly they passed. Vance had spent the entire two days trying to find some sort of solution...but he came up empty. The others had helped him off and on, but their minds were busy preparing for the sale of the store's inventory. Helm had made a wholehearted effort, staying up until the wee hours of the morning to help on the first night, but Finn and Stratski had their hands full with the sale. Vance supposed it was a good cause, but he wished they'd merely waited two days.

_This library is useless! I need someone who understands Lamb to help me. All of these Ethos books are too complex for me to understand completely. Damn...I need Helm. Or Stratski. I think Finn might even get them more than I do._

_They've given up on Renk already. They don't have to tell me so. The fact they're not HERE makes that pretty obvious. They were humouring me the entire time. I should have known..._

_Well...two days or two months... it doesn't really matter. If they insist on taking him, I'll go somewhere with Renk where the others won't find us. I won't let history repeat itself. I won't let someone else I care about die like that._

Vance closed another book and put his head in his hands. He felt exhausted again, for he hadn't slept since he'd woken up from his long sleep. The words he could often just barely understand became a jumble of letters before him as he fought to keep his eyes open.

"No...I can't fall asleep. I have too much work to do." He slapped his own cheeks and massaged his eyes, which made him feel slightly refreshed. He went back to the book and read on.

"In the land of Zeboim...there were...na...nano...some kind of machine. But...what do the they mean by that? Okay, I won't let myself get marred by that. Just move on, Vance. Okay...they were some kind of machine that could recon - reconstruct...What the heck is 'reconstruct'? I wish my parents had bothered to teach me more Lamb right about now...reconstruct damaged...shells? No, they can't mean that. That makes no sense. Maybe it's some other word that's close to that. But...I don't know..."

Vance put his head in his hands again. "I just don't understand this...this isn't going to work..."

"Say, Vance..."

Vance heard the voice, but didn't look up. He knew who it was.

"What is it, Finn? I'm sort of busy here..."

Finn sat down at the table across from him, looking awkward. "Vance, you should get some sleep, okay? You can pick this up again later. We'll come and wake ya up when the sale is over. That should give ya more than enough time ta get some rest."

Vance stared at Finn for a moment. Inwardly, he thanked Finn for caring about his wellbeing, but Renk was of far more concern to him.

"Finn...do you suppose you could...read this for me? And tell me what it says?"

Finn looked a bit afraid, as if he was sitting before a difficult test that he hadn't studied for. "Me? Well...I'm not too good at this stuff...but I can sorta try."

Vance passed it over to Finn, who looked at the words.

"Uh...in the land of Zeboim, there were...what is that?"

"Dunno. I've never heard of them before."

Finn read the next part aloud to himself in Lamb, and Vance understood it just about as much as he had when he'd read it. Finn paused a moment, thinking.

"Uh...I don't know how to say this in Solarian. It's really complicated...I'm so sorry, Vance."

Vance sighed. Well, at least Finn had tried. But he just wasn't good enough at these things, either.

"Well..." Finn said, standing up. "I just came in ta remind ya ta sleep. So you'd better get some sleep. Renk would want ya to."

"Um...thanks, Finn..."

Finn nodded and left. Vance watched after him, thanking his friend silently. But he couldn't listen to him. Vance still had work to do.

He sat for a moment, thinking, rubbing more tiredness from his eyes.

_I'm sorry, Renk. I'm trying. I really am. But...I'm not good at this, either. But I will find something. If only there were just one or two good books in Solarian, this would be no problem. But...I guess this is all there is left. I guess if I'm forced to live here, I need to learn to read properly. But I don't have time for that right now. I have to save Renk._

Vance stared at the words, and they made even less sense the more he read. The letters began to dance, then blur...and he fell asleep.

"No! I don't want to see!"

Shadows loomed over him, held him against the glass wall.

"This is your fault. Your punishment..." the cruel voice rose from behind him. "Start the process...fast track...but don't overdo it. The guilty are meant to suffer."

His eyes focused on his mother, his father and his little sister, all terrified, and staring back at him with horrified expressions.

"Big brother...why are they doing this?" his sister cried, too young to understand. Unfortunately, he wasn't.

The sea of images flooded over Vance. The people he loved, the people he'd tried so hard to get out of Solaris so they could return home were now dying as a result of his actions.

His father's spine withered and twisted into a horrible, misshapen form and his fingers grew into long, claw-like rods, the skin falling off the bones and leaving them raw.

At first, Vance was too shocked by what he witnessed to think of looking away. His mother screamed. She was a woman who looked very much like him, chestnut brown hair and blue eyes. Vance could tell she was terrified as she watched what happened to her husband.

_Don't be scared, mom...please...don't be scared..._

A boil grew on his mother's arm...two...three...dozens...

She screamed, brushing at her arms frantically.

_Don't be scared mom... Oh, God...please don't be scared..._

Tears ran from his eyes, and he shut them quickly.

"Open your eyes!" the shadow shouted.

"I can't! I can't!"

"Part of your sentence is to watch!"

_No..._

_No more..._

_I don't want to see anymore..._

"Please stop! I'm sorry I did it! I'll never do it again! Please...stop..."

"It's a bit late for apologies now, boy."

"Please take me! Let my family go! I'll do whatever you want...oh, God...please stop..."

Laughter. The shadow was laughing. Cutting into his soul.

"Watch, boy!" a second shadow said, grabbing his head and forcing his vision back on the lab.

His eyes fell on his mother again, who didn't even look like his mother anymore. Her head sat atop a two-foot neck, as her torso rested atop two thin, reedy legs. Her arms dragged on the ground. Her screams still rose in the air, showing her terror and pain, and forever etching themselves in his mind.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a much smaller figure, cowering in the corner. Chelsa sat, looking very small, and even more terrified. But still unchanged. Maybe...

"Please spare my sister...please...she's only eight years old...she's never done anything to anyone..."

"Sure. We'll spare her the pain of being an orphan...that's for sure." More laughter. They were enjoying this. What sort of horrible person would enjoy something so awful?

"Please, I beg you! Have mercy...stop this...put them...PLEASE PUT THEM ALL BACK THE WAY THEY WERE!"

"Silly boy...there IS no way to do that. Not that we would, anyway. Now watch...the show is still going on."

"No...no...let me look away...at least don't make me watch anymore!" he pleaded.

"When one commits a crime, they must suffer the consequences. It is because of what you did that they must suffer like this!" another harsh male voice barked.

The shadow held Vance's head up straight again and grabbed his eyelids, holding them open.

"We aren't done yet. The show is just beginning..."

Chelsa looked up in shock, as if she had been stricken. She screamed only a moment before her face distorted into an odd shape...and her nose the mouth that had normally held her joyous smile was no longer there. She raised her hands to her neck, as if she couldn't breathe.

_She's...choking...Oh, no...oh NO!_

His mother just wouldn't stop screaming...

His sister wouldn't stop crying and trying vainly to gasp for air...

His father, completely bent and misshapen, just curled up on the ground and began to emit hideous, inhuman screeches...

Renk...his bones twisted and bent, also appeared and screamed... his voice blending in with the others...

Vance screamed and awoke abruptly... He jolted upright and told himself that he was awake, in the library, and far away from that day.

They were still there. The nightmares would never go away. Now that Renk had found his way into them, he would also haunt them.

He wiped the sweat from his brow, and felt numb and shaky all over. There was only one chance for him to get some sleep...only one person who would warn him if he began to dream...

"Renk..." he whispered, rising weakly and heading off towards the jail.

Vance's eyes narrowed as he came out of the confines of the dark library into the bright midday sun. He heard the nearby commotion from the direction of the store. People were crowded around the tables, snatching up goods as if they'd never shop again. But Vance didn't care. He only had one thing on his mind - Renk.

The prison had changed little in two days. The sun streamed in, casting light on the other mutants, who reached out towards him. The only inmate in darkness was Renk. Vance didn't know why the window opposite Renk's cell had been boarded up, but he was too tired to question it.

Vance sat down by the bars of Renk's lockup, staring inside. Renk's eyes were closed, but Vance didn't think he was asleep. Good.

"Renk..." he spoke softly.

Renk's eyes opened and he looked right at Vance, so normal, so much like his old self that Vance imagined him as he'd been before.

"Kid...what are you doing here?"

Without explanation, Vance found himself blurting it out. "I'm sorry, Renk. I'm so sorry...but...I can't do anything. I didn't find a way to help you...but...I still...I don't want you to go. I can't or my nightmares will get worse. I still can't sleep...they just keep coming. Getting stronger, not weaker...and I'm so tired. Renk...please...watch over me as I sleep. I...the only way is to wake me up before the nightmares...before they-"

"Kid...kid...calm down...calm down, okay?"

Vance didn't notice that he was almost hyperventilating. He stopped his rant and forced himself to breath heavily twice. He then looked at Renk. "You're okay... You're acting... Are you getting better?"

"No...I wish I could say that, but I'm no better. I still have good and bad moments. But...fewer good. You're lucky I'm having one now... I dunno how long it's going to last. So...you better get closer to the wall so I don't hurt ya..."

"I don't care..." Vance spoke. "I don't care anymore. I'm...too messed up. And too much of a coward to do it myself. And...I wouldn't mind if it was you. It's the only way to stop the nightmares now."

"Well I don't want it to be me. You never asked if I wanted that. And I sure as hell don't. It's bad enough I hurt Finn. If you're too cowardly to do it yourself, then it shouldn't be done. Besides...have you really tried to fight the nightmares? Seems that you tend to just give into them. You're a soldier. Treat them like an enemy and just fight 'em."

"I'm no soldier, Renk. I've never been a soldier. The Vance on Drive is the soldier. I'm just a weak coward..."

"The Vance on Drive is also a real asshole. Kid...you're stronger than this. Way stronger. Look at it this way. You're weak because you're tired. And you're tired because you're scared of sleeping. One of the links in the chain has gotta break, Vance. Might as well be the good one. And stop talkin' about dying. It's not your time yet. Now back away from the bars and sit against the wall or I'm not going to talk to you anymore."

Vance hesitated, then backed away.

"Thanks, Vance. That made me a bit stronger."

Vance sat quietly for a minute, not saying anything. He just stared at Renk, but his eyes were more distant. Somehow, Vance knew this would be one of the last times he'd see Renk. There was nothing else he could do to change it. That didn't make it any easier.

But maybe...maybe he hadn't tried hard enough to convince Renk. Maybe...

"Renk, I can't let you do this. I can't let you throw your life away over nothing."

Renk sighed again then looked at his misshapen feet.

"Nothing, kid? Look... I'm sorry, but you guys...you guys, it's all time you went on with your lives. Forgot about me. This changed world wasn't meant for me, I guess. Now that I don't have Ayra and Danie, I have no more reason to live and suffer like this. But you and Stratski and Helm and Finn, you go out and make the best of what you've got left."

"Renk..."

So he was serious. This...was there anything he could say?

"I know you mean well, kid. I know you guys care about me more than you should. I'm flattered by that, just so you know. I look upon you guys like brothers, too. Even in some cases, sons. But my life is over. It's been over since the day Etrenank fell. I lost everything I loved, except you guys. You're the only reason I haven't taken my life since. But fate's decided what's going to happen to me now. I'm going to die, and I welcome it. The closer I'll be to Ayra and Danie, you know. I can't wait to see them. Ayra with that bright smile of hers, and Danie bounding up to me with nothing but admiration in her eyes. I miss that, Vance. I want to hold Ayra again, hold Danie again, and make the promise that this time, nothing's going to happen to them. That we'll be together from then on in. Meanwhile, you guys, fate's decided to let you live. So make the best of it, okay?"

Vance paused, staring at Renk. Yes, it was over. He knew it. But...then what?

"Renk, what will we do if you go away? You're like a father to us."

"Yeah, I know. Especially to you, but..."

"Renk, since my father died, you're the only one who came even close to being a father to me. You took me into your home. You let me become part of your family whenever I wanted. I know the Drive eventually scared them away, and I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean for it to happen, but I just couldn't live with the nightmares anymore. It's the only way I got through every day."

"Yeah, kid, I know. Most of us have almost overdone it with the Drive at some point. Sure, yours was a doozy, but you know better now. Ayra never came out and said anything, either. I explained to her what it was. She hated the way it changed you. She hated the way it changed me. She always begged me not to take that stuff, but you know...orders and all. None of that matters now, really. We don't ever have to take that stuff again. And I don't want to catch you taking that stuff again, 'cause I'll be watching you from wherever I am. You don't need that stuff anymore. You're stronger than that, Vance."

"I know."

Vance sighed inwardly. Renk really did know him far too well.

"So...are you going to let me go to the Soylent?"

Vance looked at the desperation in Renk's eyes, the physical pain, the emotional pain. This really was the only way, as much as he hated the idea.

"Well...Renk, I...I think...whatever you really want to do..."

The mutant man's eyes softened. "Thanks, Vance. You do see..."

"I hate it. I really hate it. But I do."

"Well, then...let me go..."

Vance looked at his feet. "Okay. I'll take you there."

"Thanks, kid," Renk spoke.

"We can leave tonight."

Renk appeared to smile, even though it was hard to tell. "Well, I can wait just a little longer. You, on the other hand, need some sleep, dontcha?"

Sleep. So Renk was going to watch over him one last time.

"Thank you, Renk."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't thank me. It's what I'd do for anyone I care about, okay? Now get some rest. But...I want you to at least try and fight 'em for me. When you see the visions come, force somethin' funny to come into your mind instead. Or whatever. Just do something. Don't just sit and watch."

Vance nodded. Maybe it was about time he fought them. If he still had the strength to. He leaned back against the stone wall and began to close his eyes.

"That's it. Close your eyes and get some sleep. I can wait just a bit longer. We'll go later tonight."

Vance opened his eyes again and looked at Renk sympathetically. "You know you're going to die, and you're not scared?"

"No. I guess not. Well, okay. Maybe a little. But... please don't be sad, Vance. I had a good life. And all good lives come to an end eventually, right?"

Vance forced a smile. "Right."

He closed his eyes and tried to give himself a bit of strength before drifting off to sleep.

The visions came, pouring from his subconscious, trying to make him relive that day. Yes, they came. But the voices were muddled and the images slightly faded. But he could still hear those horrid screams...

_Never mind the screams...you're dreaming. This isn't real. It was, once. But no more. This will never happen again. After Renk, never will the people I love die like this...by my hand..._

The thought gave him strength to endure the visions, sit through their entirety. In order to fight them, he'd have to face them again. But he was the one in control now. That made all the difference.

Eventually the visions faded into other mundane dreams. It had been far too long since he'd had a normal dream. And he welcomed it.

* * *

Vance slowly walked back to the Broyer house, where he knew the others would be. They'd probably all be asleep, so he decided he wouldn't wake them. He'd thought for a moment of just taking Renk by himself, but he'd quickly decided that wouldn't be fair, in case the others wanted to say goodbye.

It probably wasn't as late as Vance thought because the lights in the house were still on.

"We still ended up making 500G. Not at all bad, if I do say so myself," Stratski spoke, sitting before the counter with several stacks of money. "But...whew! The women in this town are crazy! I've never seen them act that way, even back in Etrenank."

"They're desperate, Knute. They need the stuff, so they go temporarily crazy," Helm said.

"Well...I just hope they enjoy their stuff..." Finn said.

"They will, Finn. They will," Helm spoke, patting the huge man on the back.

"Um..." Vance spoke, walking inside. "I'm back. And...I just finished tuning up the gear."

Stratski looked up from the money. "Why? Going somewhere?"

"Well...yeah. I've decided...I'm going to take Renk to the Soylent. So... if any of you want to say goodbye, then..."

"Don't be stupid, Vance," Stratski said.

Vance was taken aback. "Huh?"

"What do you mean you're going?" Stratski said.

"I said I'm taking Renk to the Soylent. What's so hard to understand about that?"

"You don't get what I mean. What I mean is...you're going alone? Not a chance. I'm coming, too."

"Right. Me, too," Helm chimed in.

"Yeah!" Finn agreed. "There's nothing left here for me in Dazil. So...why not?"

"Besides...we don't want Renk to be alone, either. We all want to be there. Right, Knute?" Helm said.

Stratski and Finn nodded.

Vance should have supposed they would all come. But the thought that they were going to be there with him helped his further come to the realization that this was the right thing to do. It was what Renk wanted. And it was true...the only person who didn't seem to care about Renk's wishes was Vance himself. But he knew now that it wasn't his decision to make.

* * *

"You're crushing my leg again..." Stratski said.

"None of the other gears in Dazil had bigger cockpits?" Helm asked.

"I already told youse guys...this was the best one we had."

"The best, yeah. But what about a larger cockpit? Or at least another one with an extra one of those carrier car things like Renk's in?" Stratski asked. Then at least maybe a couple of us could have ridden in it and not been so squished in here."

"I don't think it's going to be long before we're there. Just live with it until then..." Vance grumbled.

Stratski squirmed, trying to free his arm, but said nothing more.

"Ya know...I keep thinkin'," Finn spoke, "about the best memory I had of Renk. And...I keep thinkin' back to the first time he ever encouraged me. I was still kinda new to gear battling, and Solaris put me in the Special Forces without havin' ta work up or anything. I got kinda overwhirled with it all at first."

"Do you mean 'overwhelmed', Finn?" Helm asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Anyway, after a training mission, Renk pulled me aside and said stuff I still remember. Which was sort of weird 'cause I'd gotten the idea he was kinda a harsh guy 'cause that's how he was in battle. He said, 'Your weakness is your lack of confidence. But Solaris wouldn't ta sent you here battle raw if you didn't have talent. Know that you're good. You're here, and ya earned it. Don't doubt yourself. You could be a bit more like Stratski, ya know.' I didn't get what he meant by the last past at first, but now that I know Stratski, he was prolly talkin' about his ego. Or something."

Stratski laughed. "Yeah, probably."

"Anyway, I still remember that. After that, I tried ta have more faith in myself. Yeah, it's not easier, but I try."

"Funny you should mention that," Stratski said. "Because the first thing that popped in my head was Renk scolding me, having the complete opposite effect of what he said to you. "You're here, so you're good. No need to keep remindin' us. We're all equal here. Nobody's better than anyone else..." or something like that. Of course, then he added, "And don't start even thinking about it. I could kick your ass to the surface and back.'" Stratski laughed. "Yeah, he probably could have, thinking about it."

"That didn't stop you from continuing to gloat, though."

"Why wouldn't I? I know what he said, but I'm still a lot better than you, Vic."

"You wish..."

"What thing do you remember most, Helm?" Finn asked.

"Hmm...well...it isn't much. But I guess it sort of qualifies. ahem He said something like, 'I know that, when push comes to shove...or something like that...I'll always be able to count on you, Helm.' Because we both rode Wandknights, we understood each other's gears the most...and we backed each other up all the time because of that. Those words just stuck with me whenever I needed a boost."

"Which reminds me...why _did_ you and Renk get the same gears? I've always wondered that," Stratski said quietly to his friend, but Vance heard it.

"Well...I, uh...I'd rather not say."

"So there _was_ a reason for it?"

"Come on, it's kinda obvious," Finn said.

"If Finn saw it, I have no idea how you could have been so blind, Stratski," Vance said.

"Don't tell me that...they were grooming you to be second-in-command..."

"Okay, I won't tell you."

"Oh, SHUT UP! They were not!"

Vance thought of interjecting. Finn stepped in to interrupt them instead.

"What about you, Vance?"

Vance smiled. "I know what it is. But...I'd really rather not say..."

"Hey, no fair..." Stratski said.

"Oh, nah. That's okay," Finn said. "Something said in private should stay in private if it's that sorta thing. If it was just between you and Renk, that's fine."

"Yeah...thanks."

Renk's voice echoed in his mind, _Kid...you're stronger than this. Way stronger. Look at it this way. You're weak because you're tired. And you're tired because you're scared of sleeping. One of the links in the chain has gotta break, Vance. Might as well be the good one._ Vance smiled again. Yes, those words would always stay with him. And he would try to do as Renk asked.

The coastline of an unnamed island in Aquavy appeared in the distance. They were almost there. By the silence in the cockpit, it was clear everyone knew it.

"Well...that's it. In the distance," came Renk's voice over the com.

The four stared at the structure appearing on the horizon ahead of them. So...this was it. The end of their journey. For one of them, at least. Vance tried not to lose it in front of the others, but he found it difficult.

"Okay, Renk. We're going to open your hatch. We'll stay here and...well..." Helm spoke.

"Good...you guys will be much safer in there. I'm glad."

"It's been...well...Renk, we'll all miss you," Stratski spoke.

"Oh, nah. You won't even notice I'm gone."

"Don't joke about that, Renk!" Vance exclaimed.

"What better time _to_ joke, kid? Well...I'm going. And...thanks for all you've done for me. And for being such a good bunch of guys to work with. You made my life as an officer pretty easy. I couldn't have asked for a better platoon."

More silence. Vance could barely stand it. He heard the hatch below them open, and soon saw Renk rushing off towards the building not far in the distance.

"Open the cockpit...I want to get out..." Vance said.

"Are you crazy?" Stratski asked.

"JUST OPEN THE COCKPIT! Let me get out and then you can close it right up! I can't leave it like this..."

"What more else can you say, Vance? He's dangerous, remember?"

Dangerous...yes... He knew that. But...it didn't seem to matter. He had to go with him. Had to be there when Renk's time finally came.

Vance reached over and pushed the button to open the cockpit and slid out before they could close it on him.

"He's nuts..." he heard Stratski whisper.

"Hey...Vance...be careful..." Finn also spoke.

"I'll be fine. I'm armed. If worse comes to worse..."

Helm sighed. "Well, if you're so determined..."

Vance didn't look back. He ran after Renk and managed to catch up with him.

"What the hell are you doing, kid?" Renk's eyes were panicked. His hands quivered in held back anticipation, but whatever human part remaining in him was fighting the urge to attack. But Vance wasn't afraid. Even if it meant the end of his life to stand there before Renk.

"I'm not going to let you go alone."

"Huh?"

"I'm going inside with you."

"Huh! Ghugh! N - no way. It's gonna be dangerous..."

"I'm not letting it end like this. I want to be there when your time is close. Renk...I mean it."

"I suppose if you let me do my thing, I can let you do yours, stupid as it is. I'll keep an eye on you, make sure the others don't attack ya. But...there are no ghugh guarantees. I can't even say I won't try. I feel like I might...and if that happens, just run...and don't try to save me."

"Whatever. Let's go."

Vance walked in looking around, keeping up with Renk, since he appeared to know where he was going. Vance had to admit, he wasn't prepared for what he saw. He had thought Renk looked bad, but some of these people were far worse off than Renk was. All of them reflected that look of physical pain and desperation as they pleaded to the higher powers to allow them to live as they queued in a long line and discovered what their fate would be. It was as Vance suspected - a recycling facility rather than a jail. Certainly the only salvation they would receive would be from death. But Renk didn't seem afraid.

Eventually they ended up in the room where they would finally enter the machine and be recycled. He wanted to stay by Renk's side until the very end.

"Kid...this is almost it."

"I know, Renk."

"You're going to have to get out of her somehow."

Vance nodded. "We'll see how it goes. If I get out, I do. If I don't, well...I don't."

"Don't talk like that, kid. Of course you'll get out."

"...I guess it depends on whether I want to get out or not...once you're gone..."

"Don't be stupid. I thought we'd been through this..."

There was a low rumbling from behind them. Vance and Renk turned to face a large container that held the recycled mutants who had come before. It broke open and a hideous beast jumped from the machine and began to attack.

Vance reacted by pushing Renk out of the way, just as the creature would have grabbed them both and devoured them.

"I don't understand, kid. Why did you save me? I'm gonna die, anyway..." Renk said.

"I guess it was just a reflex reaction, you know?"

"I guess we've always watched each other's backs."

Vance nodded as they heard a back door open into the room. He admitted he was shocked to see the familiar face. A red-headed woman stepped out with two other people and began to attack the large beast. Vance recognized her as their old Lieutenant, Elhaym Van Houten.

"What's she doing here...?" Vance asked.

"Ghhhgggkk..." was all Renk could say as they watched the battle numbly.

Vance watched the battle, unable to put to words the amazing moves of the Lieutenant and her friends. He'd never seen anything quite like it before.

The large mutant fell to the ground, close to death. But instead of dealing a final blow, Elhaym took her friend's sword and slashed her hand. A warm, red drop of blood fell into the creature's mouth, and it seemed soothed by it. It seemed that it was no different than the rest of the mutants. It needed blood to ease the pain of its existence. As it died, it held a peaceful look in its eyes.

Lieutenant Elhaym stood with an odd stance and started speaking strangely. Her words were haunting, almost as if they came from someone other than her. Ethereal...

"...Don't throw away your dignity as humans...Don't let go of your human heart..." she ended before she fell to the ground. Her friends came to her aid, but Vance didn't concern himself with that. Instead, he looked over at Renk, who was staring at Elly as if she were the voice of God himself. Something she said had apparently struck a nerve in him, as well as in the hearts of all the other mutants, who now seemed calm and almost normal, besides their appearances.

Renk broke out into a smile and glanced at Vance. His expression had changed so rapidly from that of someone willing and prepared to die to someone with the whole world before him.

"Renk..."

"Let's go to Nisan..." he said. Everything about him seemed to be better. "Let's all go to Nisan..."

Vance nodded, a smile peeking out at the sides of his mouth. Renk had chosen life, and with that, Vance knew things would start to get better for them all.

"Lieutenant..." Vance said, stepping up to her, Renk following him.

She eyed him curiously as he helped her up from the ground.

"V - Vance? Vance Nye of the Special Forces?"

He nodded. "I'm not a mutant. I'm here with Renk. He wanted to die, but...now he's going to come back with you to Nisan. I - thank you. For everything. You don't know how much this means to us all."

"Well...you're welcome," she said.

Vance looked at her with a deep respect he thought he never would. The hope she had brought to Renk and the other mutants was unlike anything he had ever seen. There had to be something special about her. He couldn't think of what, but it mattered little.

_If Renk can choose to go on, so can I. I have to be strong. I can make it if I ask for help. I can't just keep it all inside anymore._

~ End of Chapter 5 ~

* * *

_A/N: Well, with this, I am caught up to where I left off with the old version of the story, and it's a HUGE weight off my shoulders that the re-write is finally DONE! Now I have no excuses not to work on chapter 6. It's about 75% done, but admittedly, it's been about that done for a while. There are one or two scenes holding me up (namely, a gear battle which I'm stuck on, even though half of it is already in canon. ARGH! Battles are hard enough without giant robots. I need to go watch Gundam or something). I'll try to work harder on that._

_I can also say that there is most certainly going to be a chapter 7. I've been stubborn about making notes on the plot of disk two by actually playing the game. The canon in that section of the game is evil and nasty . and impossible to keep straight without a detailed timeline. But honestly, playing the game isn't going to happen any time soon, so I finally consulted the script, compiled by the wonderful **StarcraftSquall**, who I am deeply indebted to for doing it. After going through it all, I realized just how involved the guys could get in some parts. I apologize that it might take until chapter 7 to get more interesting. Chapter 6 has much talking and angsting, and really...not much else. I apologize for that in advance._

_I hope you've enjoyed the re-write, and I hope you also enjoy the conclusion. When I eventually get there.  
_

_**Obligatory Disclaimer:**__ As much as I'd like to claim Xenogears as my own intellectual property, I am unable to do so, for that honour is already taken by Squaresoft. So yeah. The characters and world belongs to them. I just play with them a little._


End file.
